You're Just Making This S..... Up

Don't you just love when people say, "he will never succeed," "I read this is how it's going to happen,"  "people want this,"  "I'm sure this is what happened," "You don't have to believe me, just ask them."

Now that I'm much more secure in myself, I have no problem calling people out when they say stuff that is bulls....  My statement to them is "you're just making this s.... up.

"He will never succeed."  How do you know that? "You're just making this s.... up.  If he would have said, "in my opinion I doubt he is going to be successful in this endeavor," I would not call him out on that statement.  However, when someone makes a definitive statement like "he will NEVER succeed, they are just making s.... up.

"I read this is how it's going to happen."  Where did you read that?  When did you read that?  Who was the person that wrote that? Most of the time when you push back on the one who makes that statement, he or she doesn't have any of the answers you asked.  When they fumble with the answers, I say to them, "you're just making this s.... up."

Probably they read something at some time, but it most likely did not say definitely "this is HOW it's going to happen."  They are just trying to force their opinion on you by making s.... up.  You have to call they on it or they will keep doing it to you and others.

"People want this."  What people?  Who are these people?  When did they say this?  Again, you have to ask these questions because you can't let a general statement like that go unchallenged.  When they fumble with specifics, tell them, "you're just making this s.... up.

"I'm sure this is what happened."  How are you SURE?  Where did you get the information that made you SURE?  Are you just making this up because you want this to happen?  If he just would have said, "I'm not sure, but in my opinion, I believe this is what will happened."  I can live with that statement, but some people feel the need to make bold statements.  I say to them, "you're just making this s.... up."

"You don't have to believe me, just ask them."  Who is THEM?  Give me a name.  Facts, just give me the facts.

I could go on and on with this, but I assume you get the point.  You have to be secure enough within yourself to push back.  Don't take these bulls.... statements because you don't want to rock the boat.  Speak out and call them out.  They will respect you more if you don't just roll over.

When they try to make you believe a definitive statement without proof, say to them:

You're Just Making This S..... Up

They Don't Know S........

Do you seek feedback when you have a product, service or life idea, strategy, decision or position?  If you do, who do you go to for that feedback?

Friends and family are different than a disinterested third party.  Friends and family have to weigh the risk of offending if their honest feedback is negative.  The better the friend the higher their risk.  A disinterested third party has no stake in your friendship and therefore will be brutally honest.

Friends and family will first view you idea, strategy, decision or position with a mindset that says what's right about this.  A disinterested third party will take the opposite position.  They will look to see what's wrong with what you want to do.

Sooo, which way should you go?  One answer is friends and family because you will get positive feedback that will make you happy.  Another suggestion is to go the disinterested third party route because you will get the most honest feedback even if it means they might call your baby ugly.

The right answer is they don't know s.....!  You should go to either or both and take in their feedback.  All feedback is good, but it's not definitive.  Feedback from others is information you should take into consideration, however never do or don't do what they suggest or demand.  The reason is because they don't know s.....!!

You might modify your idea, strategy, decision or position based on their feedback, but only if what they are suggesting makes absolute sense to you. The fact is the only way you will know if you or they are right is to go do it.

If it's a product or service the market will tell you if it's valuable.  If it's a strategy - nobody knows if it's good or bad.  They may have their own view, but again, they don't know s.....!  If it's a life strategy, decision or position, you and only you should be making life choices.

The bottom line is, never change what you want to do because they told you to change it.  Never hold back from going forward with what you want to do because they think it's a bad idea.  Never get caught up in the negative energy of their feedback.  The reason I say this is simple:

They Don't Know S......!!!!! 

"Yesterday Is History - Tomorrow Is A Mystery - Today Is A Gift - That's Why We Call It The Present"

Saturday night a friend stated the quote above to me. I looked it up and it was  written by Alice Morse Earle. I thought it encompasses the essence of what I have been communicating in my blogs on happiness.

"Yesterday is history" because we don't get to relive it. For good or bad it is what it is so we accept what it was. Being unhappy because it did not go the way we hoped is frustrating, unhealthy, negative and anti-happy. Focusing on what good happened in our past is happy, rewarding, healthy and positive.

However, my suggestion is, as this saying states, "yesterday is history" so forget about it.

"Tomorrow is a mystery."  We don't know anything about the future.  We like to think we do, but we don't.  Too many of us think the future is negative.  Those people are frustrated, unhealthy and unhappy.  The ones who see the future as positive are the opposite.  However, the fact is the future is a true mystery. To think otherwise is a waste of brain power.

It's good to look forward to the future, but thinking it will be bad or good makes no sense.  We are on a journey.  The future is not a destination, it is the journey.  Don't spend time thinking about the future - just enjoy the journey.

"Today is a gift - that's why we call it the present." This says it all to me.  Most of us are lucky just to wake up today.  The older we get the more we appreciate today. We have been given a present - it's called life.  Why make the present we have been given ugly.  That really makes no sense.

The present is beautiful if we want it to be.  We have a life obligation to make today the best we can.  We have the right to see today as a treat not a trick.  We have the power to stay away from today's negative energy and focus on the gift of positive energy that is around us.

I love life.  I appreciate today.  I'm going right now to open my wonderful gift.

A Beautiful Day

I walked the dog this morning and could not stop realizing what a beautiful day it is.  It's clear, sunny and cool.  The trees were flowing in a slow breeze that brushed across my face.  The greens and the flowers were vibrant as the natural light of the sun made natures gift a blessing.

Zita only noticed the smell of other dogs on this beautiful landscape, but that's all she needs to make her happy.  Every time she stopped to smell, I stopped to appreciate the beauty of my neighborhood.  I'm so lucky.

I grew up in the streets of Philadelphia.  When there was a day like today I didn't appreciate it.  The neighborhood was not conducive to appreciation.  There were no trees or flowers.  There were six foot lawns that connected to the sidewalk.  Most of the lawns we not groomed.  The sidewalk was connected to the blacktop street.  Polls with electric wires hang overhead.  No beauty was illuminated from the sun.

Now that I have learned to take a step back and appreciate the wonderful life I have, I feel bad for the people and especially kids that live in projects.  I now realize that surroundings have an effect on a person's mental well being.  I now realize that the negative energy of a neighborhood can affect a person's outlook on life.

My parents never understood this phenomenon.  If they had, I'm sure we would have driven to a beautiful scenic place on a great day like today.  Even getting a few days of positive energy might have given me a better base to create a happier life.  As it was, at thirty nine, I had to figure it out with the help of a Mentor.

Some say that you appreciate more when you finally get something you never had.  I have to agree with that statement because it is my life.  However, it would have been nice to not have to overcome so much stuff so late in life.  It would have been nice to look at natures beauty on a wonderful day like today when I was much younger.

They say stop and smell the roses.  I stopped today.  I didn't have any roses, but I did have other beauty all around me - and I really appreciated it.

How To Get What You Want

Take Action - The Reverse

Take Action

Why are simple things so hard to accomplish?  If you want something, you have to go get it.  Sounds simple, but too many people can't find a way to get it done.

"I know what to do, but I'm too busy to do it now."  "I'll get to it soon."   This kind of attitude is for people that don't get what they want.  "I know what to do and I'm taking action now to get what I want."  "I know if I wait until tomorrow it will never happen."  This kind of attitude is from a person who gets what he or she wants.

Too busy to take a night class to learn a trade that makes you happier.  Too busy to give your time to do something you enjoy doing.  Too busy to write a book that has been burning inside you for years.  Too busy to get into an exercise and diet program that will make you love yourself that much more.  Do I have to say more - you are NOT too busy.  Go for it today!

"I know what to do, but I'm not sure I want to take the risk."  "Let me think about it."  "I know what to do and there is a risk.  I've evaluated the risk and believe that if the worst happens, I will recover.  I know I won't get what I want if I don't take the risk, so I'm going to go for it. No risk - No reward!" 

Which person do you think will get what they want?  I think that is a stupid question, but some of you might not.  Some of us are so risk adverse that we make ourselves believe we don't need or don't deserve to get what we want.  Some of us believe that the risk will ruin our life which would be worst than getting what we want and deserve.  I hope you are not one of those people.

"I know what to do, but I have to make a change to get it."  "My life is safe and predictable so why change it - why rock the boat."  "I know what to do and I'm going to make the changes necessary to get it.  I've decided I no longer want to stay with the this safe and predictable life I've been living.  I'm never going to get what I want if I don't make the changes necessary.  I want more out of life and I'm willing to leave my comfort zone to get all I deserve."

The latter sounds simple, but it's not.  Change is scary.  Change takes time to get used to.  Change has the risk of making things worse.  However, living a life that is half full is not acceptable.  Believe what you want, but until someone can prove me wrong, this is the only life you are going to get.  You won't die if you make a change to get what you want. 

Even if things don't go as planned, at least you went for it.  At least you won't be living a life of "shouldas and couldas." You'll be proud of yourself and feel positive about yourself.  That alone is worth making a change to get what you want.

Bottom line is, you have the power and control to take action to get what you want.  Think about what kind of life you want to live.  Taking action to get what you want takes guts.  Taking action to get what you want takes a strong belief in yourself.  Taking action to get what you want will lead you to a better life - a happier life - a more positive life.  Isn't that what we all want!!!!


The Reverse

This is an old sales trick to get what you want.  Many people don't see themselves as winners.  Some think of themselves as losers.  Some think of themselves as just average.

People want to be with a winner.  People want to buy from a winner.  People want to invest with a winner.  People want to do what a winner wants then to do.  People want to get something they don't think they can get.

The reverse is a way to get what you want from the these people.  If a person believes that something is special, they want it.  If a person believes only winners will get this thing, they want it even more.  This is not the carrot and stick.  This is telling someone they are not qualified to get the carrot so they will want it more.

A person who wants to sell something might say: "I want to sell you this bag, but I have a list of people who will pay more."  This old reverse trick has proved time and time again to make the person you are selling to want the bag even more.  You close the sale by saying: "OK, I'll sell you the bag at the price you want, but only if you promise me you won't tell anyone else what price you paid."  The person takes the bag and feels great about themselves.  The seller got what they wanted by using the reverse.

"I would love to go on a date with you, but I'm not sure we would hit it off."  Right away the person you want to date wants to understand why.  That's the first part of the reverse.  "Why don't you think we will hit it off."  "Well you are so great and I probably won't meet your standards."  Part two of the reverse.  "Thanks for the complement, but I'm sure that's not true.  Why don't we go out on a date and find out."  "Well Ok, if you think so.  that would make me very happy." 

The reverse got him what he wanted.  A date with someone he wanted to go out with.  I could go on with more examples, but you should think about what you want and how you can use the reverse to get it.  Work out the scenario in your head before you approach the subject with the other person.  Don't worry if you fail a few times.  You will succeed more times then you will fail.

Getting what you want makes you a happy, proud and positive person.  Go for it - you deserve it.