Cherish The Life You Have And Cherish The Love You Have

Cherish The Life You Have And Cherish The Love You Have

It's that time of year where we give joy to all, give gifts to some, get gifts from some, meet with family and friends, eat until we burst and wish for a better and happier new year. However, the best thing you need to do at this time of year and every day thereafter is to:

 Cherish The life You Have And Cherish The Love You Have!

Giving gifts, getting gifts, seeing family and friends, over eating or wishing for better things to come will not make you as happy as:

Cherishing The Life You Have And Cherishing The Love You Have!

We in the Western part of the world and some Non-Western countries have so much to cherish. If we allow ourselves to put down our barriers, we will not only received much love, but also be able to give much love. 

Instead of thinking how lucky you are, take this moment to: 

 Cherish The life You Have And Cherish The Love You Have!

Instead of thinking how unlucky or unhappy you are, take this moment to step back and consider what good things have happen in your life. Take this moment to appreciate the ones who have given you love in your life. 

Sooo, close your eyes. Wrap your arms around yourself and squeeze as hard as you can while you're:

Cherishing The Life You Have And Cherishing The Love You Have!

What Am I Going To DO If I Wake Up Tomorrow

What Am I Going To DO If I Wake Up Tomorrow

I was at our local Ruth Chris bar having happy hour drinks with my buddy Kenny (same name different look - not that it's a bad look, but I'm prettier). We were talking about retirement money. Kenny made a good point. He said that some of the people he knows spend money they don't have because their attitude is; "what if I don't wake up tomorrow?". Kenny says back to them; "what if you DO wake up tomorrow?"

Nobody wants to be poor when they retire or at an age when you're earning power is kaput. However, many people don't think that far ahead and assume they'll be dead before that happens. The problem with that attitude is, with today's medical capabilities, you are going to live longer than you think.

Now, I know I'm the Preacher who always says; "live the best and happiest life you can live today." I also say; "all you need in life is food to eat, air to breathe and shelter - everything else is cosmetic." However, let's get real here. Buying shit today that you really don't need has nothing to do with living the best and happiest life today.

You see, waking up tomorrow broke because you blew it all on instant gratification is no way to live your life. Sooo, if you're one of the ones Kenny is telling me about, stop the attitude; "what if I don't wake up tomorrow" and change that thought to; what if I DO wake up tomorrow.

On the other hand, some people go the other extreme. They don't do the things they always wanted to do today so they'll have enough assets to leave to their family. I say; "f..k the family. I didn't work my ass off all these years so I would be able to give my assets to someone else. My plan is to try to spend everything I have on my happiness and only if there is something left do they get it. Sounds selfish, but who cares? I'm going to be dead. 

Sooo, let them fight over the spoils. 

Now, I'm not going to spend money on things that don't make me happy just to spite them and make sure I don't have anything left. However, I'm never thinking of them when I do spend my money. Also, if I want to give them something, I'm going to give it to them when I'm alive not dead.  

The purpose of this blog and all of my blogs is for each of you to find your happiness. Being poor in your old age is never going to make you happy. On the other hand, not using your assets to help you become a happier person is just as wrong.

So, as my friend Kenny says; "the moment you think about spending on something you either can't afford or you don't need to make you happy, stop considering; "what if I don't wake up tomorrow" and start considering;

What If I DO Wake Up Tomorrow

Try A Little Tenderness

Try A Little Tenderness

This blog is to you macho men out there. Yes, you know who you are. You're the ones who are very competitive. You're the ones who don't hug men because of some stupid adults, when you were young, telling you it's not the right thing to do (BTW, even a few gay men don't like hugging for the same reason). You're the ones who won't ask for directions. 

You're the ones who have a problem if your wife makes more money than you. You're the ones that don't listen. You're the ones who feel it's your duty to try to fix something broken around the house even though you have no idea what you're doing.  You're the ones who keep telling your significant other what they are doing wrong when all she wants from you is some understanding and a hug.

Lastly, you're the ones who agree with comedian Bobby Slayton when he says that if you have an orgasm before the woman you're with it's because you won - you beat her.

What you don't realize is that if you try a little tenderness you'll be a happier person. Most women love a guy who is willing to show a little tenderness. The guys who get the most women are the ones who have a macho facade and a tender heart. The guys who please women the most are the ones who care about the woman's orgasm. 

The guys who have the most real men friends are the ones who are willing to let their macho facade down and share their feelings with their male friends. The guys who have the most friends overall are the ones who have as many women friends as men friends. The guys who are the most respected are the ones who are willing to admit - I don't know shit.

Sooo, you macho guys out there try a little tenderness. Don't do it for them, do it for you. You'll be surprised how good it feels when you tenderly stroke your spouse or girlfriends face. You'll be surprised how great a response you'll get from your spouse or girlfriend when you tenderly kiss her for no specific reason.

You'll be surprised how good it will feel to hug a man friend especially when he hugs you back. If you've been living your life as a macho man because you were taught and shown that's what real men are supposed to do:

Try A Little Tenderness.

Be Good To Yourself

Be Good To Yourself

It's that time of year when, for some of you, giving to others makes you feel good. It's that time of year where, for some of you, giving is a tradition. It's that time of year where, for some of you, giving is expected and not always appreciated. It's that time of year where, for some of you, the only reason you're giving is because you know the other people are going to give you something. It's that time of year where, for some of you, giving is out of guilt not because you want to or that it makes you feel good.

But, WHAT ABOUT ME? This is that time of year where you need to put yourself in first position. This is that time of year where you pamper yourself. This is that time of year where you do something special for yourself. This is that time of year where you buy yourself something you always wanted. This is that time of year where you love yourself just a little bit more than anybody else.

Sounds selfish especially during the holiday season, but making yourself happy should always be your primary goal in life. Mothers, fathers, religious leaders, kids, etc., guilt you into putting yourself in second position and give to those who are less fortunate than you. Sounds good in theory, but it will never make you a happy person putting yourself in second position.

It is possible to keep yourself in first position by giving to others as long as you're doing it because you love doing it. Seeing that smiling face on a less fortunate person can be as rewarding as getting something from others. However, spending money you can't afford even if it is on someone less fortunate will have the opposite effect you expected by giving. It's bad karma to become resentful because you feel like you're always giving and never getting back the same.

Getting what you want and deserve, especially on these holidays, will not only eliminate becoming resentful, it will make you feel loved and happy.  Feeling loved and happy enables you to give more to others because you feel you're in a great place. Feeling you're in a great place and in first position, enables you to not feel guilty by getting something for yourself or from others. Feeling loved, happy and guilt free enables you to love giving to others. This is what I call the happiness circle.

Sooo, don't wait for others to decide what you deserve. You know you're a good person. You know you care about others. You know that if you're giving something to others is coming from the goodness in your heart.

This can only happen if you put yourself in first position and always:

Be Good To Yourself

Knock Knock Knock-in On Heavens Door

Knock Knock Knock-in On Heavens Door

Are you doing everything in your power to put yourself in a position to be knock, knock, knock-in on heaven's door? Are you just going about your business on a daily basis assuming you'll get in? Do you make decisions with your money and how you treat others because it's important that you'll be in a position to be knock-in on heaven's door? Do you really give a shit if you get in? Do you even believe there is a heavens door to be knocked on?

I'm of the latter. What I do with my life has nothing to do with me wanting to be knock, knock, knock-in on heaven's door. The decisions I make with my money and how I treat other people has nothing to do with trying to get through that door. I'm happiest when I do good for myself and others. I leave it up to religious people to believe their actions have anything to do with a mystical place called heaven.

I guess it makes some people feel good that there is a heaven and a hell. That way they can feel that evil in the world will burning in hell when they die. That way they can feel great when they do something selfless because it increases their chances of getting through heaven's door. To both of those feelings, I'm calling bullshit.

Evil people are going to the same demise as good people. When they die, they are either going into the ground or their ashes will go where the people who have the rights to determine where to put them will prevail. I know I sound cynical, but living my life or judging how other people live their life is not for me. 

Unless they are mentally ill, evil people are unhappy people. They hate themselves as much as they hate others. They know what they are doing when they do bad things. Their inter-person is full of loathing for their adult self. They laugh at the outside world for being suckers. They show no remorse for the bad deeds they do. However, unless they are just plain crazy, they are already living in their own created hell.

Good people don't need heaven to justify their good deeds. The things they do makes them happy. Happiness is their goal. Helping others, not cheating on their taxes, making a positive contribution to society, etc. enables them to be in heaven on this earth. 

Who the hell wants to wait to die before we can be rewarded with the greatness that some of us call heaven? I want to be rewarded NOW. I do the right thing because it makes me proud of myself NOW! I give unconditional love to myself and others because it feels so good NOW. 

This heaven and hell crap can hold you back from enjoying the goodness of today. This heaven and hell bullshit is not going to make an evil person less evil. If you focus on how you engage the world today you will be either rewarded with positive energy or negative energy. It's your choice NOT some religious teachings that was passed down to you by your parents or someone else who used heaven and hell to set your path in life.

To those who hate this blog make sure you do everything right even if it makes you unhappy soooo, when you die, you'll be:

Knock, Knock, Knock-in On Heavens Door.

Say It Loud, Say It Proud - I Am An American

Say It Loud, Say It Proud - I Am An American

It's so easy to look at America from the negative side of the pendulum. School shootings, race problems, police issues, income inequality, sex abuse, domestic violence, political constipation, etc.

Well, if America sucks so badly than why do we believe we have an immigration problem? The answer is we do because many, many more people want to come to America to create a better life for themselves than unhappy Americans who want to get the hell out of America.

The good in America is overwhelmingly stronger than the negative shit that some of us do to ourselves and others. We have many, many people risking death to protect us. It's not just the military. I agree some police have done some things that are not forgivable, but, many of them face danger on a daily basis. As much as I hate what's been happening with the police lately, I never want to judge until I've walked in their shoes.

People coming together to protest things that are wrong with America are one of the things that makes me love the country I live in. We have the right to protest (without violence) because America gives us that right. How many other countries don't give their citizens that right?

The right to get rid of the people who run our country via our right to vote is what makes America great. Yes, one or two terms of Congress could screw things up (can you spell the Vietnamese War), but because we have the right to protest and vote, we have proven we can make changes that brings America back on track. How many countries don't give their citizens the right to protest (without being put in jail)? Again, can you spell "Hong Kong?"

An economy that thrives on the creativity and creation of Corporations is what keeps America strong. Many believe Corporations are bad guys, however, where would we be without them? The answer is North Korea. The belief of communism is that everyone should be financially equal. However, what has been proven is that in a communist society everyone shares the poverty not the riches. It's those poor people who want to come to America.

Yes, we have a race and sexuality issue in this country, but the truth is those Americans are in the vast minority. The fantastic part of being an American is that those people have the same rights as the majority who believe race and sexuality should not stop anyone from creating a happy life in America.

Yes, we have income inequality in America. I worry about that because the middle class is shrinking. However, the citizens who are getting the least out of America are doing better than the country they fled from or others in many other countries. I brought myself up from poverty because America gave me the opportunity. Others who don't have as many choices as I had or don't want to take advantage of the options America gives them, are still living better than more than half of the world.

Yes, we have angry people or mentally ill people that do horrible things. I believe in stronger gun controls. However, we can't make America perfect. It's the imperfections in America that makes it the strongest and most respected countries in the world. It is these imperfections that has developed us to be the country that will continue to work to make a wrong right. Yes, it happens slower than many of us would like, but look back at what we were like a hundred years ago (can you spell slavery).

Yes, we have sexual abuse and domestic violence in America. However, those few situations have given America's FREE press and media a wake up call that this abuse exists. Because the free press and media has given us the information, we as Americans can, and I believe, will do what we can to stop or reduce the violence. This was happening ten, twenty, fifty and more than a hundred years ago, but until now the free media has encouraged us to say "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore." How many women and some men in other countries are still hiding in the shows because nobody in their country gives a shit

Yes, we have political gridlock in this country. So what? How is your life affected by the gridlock that has been going on for many, many years? The answer is - not much. Differences in Congress are better than dictatorship. American is a great place to be because we have these differences. Many other countries don't tolerate political differences. 

Would you rather live in a country that can have political differences or a country that not only disallows differences, but doesn't even give you the vote to change the political gridlock? The option to vote gives Americans the chance to fix what is broken. If we get it wrong the first time, we still have another vote, years later, to set it straight.

I'm unhappy with the horrible shit that's going on in the country I love. However, because I truly believe everything I stated above, I'm;

Saying It Loud - Saying It Proud - I Am An American.

Waiting On The World To Change

Waiting On The World To Change

Good luck waiting on the world to change. It's just not going to happen in our lifetime. I'm not trying to depress you - it's just the facts. It's like waiting for John Beresford Tipton, Jr. to show up at your door to give you a million dollars (if you're too young to know who he is, I'm jealous -  if you're old, like me, and remember him from the 1955 TV series "The Millionaire," then hopefully these are your best of times).

It's very important to accept this is the world we live in and it's not going to change in our future. Sooo, now what? Do we allow ourselves to get depressed and frustrated over a f..ked up world or do we do something about it?

In my last blog "Bring Back That Loving Feeling" I suggested hugging could change the world. However, I also stated, in that blog, that the probability of that happening was zilch. What I did say was an assurance that if you do hug people more often your happiness will be enriched.

That leads me to the point of this blog - stopping waiting on the world to change. Stop waiting for your friends, spouse, boss, etc. etc. to change. Stop waiting for your financial situation to change. Stop waiting for your medical problems to change. Just stop waiting.

Life is right in front of you. You can accept it or you can change it or you can do both. Let's talk about accepting your life as it is today. If you're reading my blogs, your life is pretty good. You have food to eat, air to breath and shelter - all the other stuff, in your life, is cosmetic. 

If you sat down today and wrote about all of the things that are good about your life, you would be shocked at the length of the list. The problem with many of us is it's easier to think about all of the bad shit that's going on with you. 

Some of the worse things in life don't have to be showstoppers. Cancer sucks. However, even if the doctors have given you six months to live, is no excuse to stop getting the most out of what you have left NOW! Having a bad back is nothing compared to cancer. Sooo, if that's what's making you miserable - get over it!

Even if the love of your life died, is not a good reason to stop loving life. Your loved one would never want you to give up. You have to stop waiting on the world to change. You have to write down what you can do to create as much happiness that's available to you. I promise you it's more than you think.

Even if you have major financial problems, is no reason not to live a good life. Think about the illegals that live on less than minimum wage. They have friends. They have food. They have good times with their family. They love and are loved. You will always be better off financially than them so be proud and happy that money is not ruling your life.

Accepting your life today is critical. Changing your life for the better is as critical. We can only change what we have the power to change. You'll be surprised how long a list you'll create by writing down all the things you can and will change.

Want (notice I did not say need) more money - work more. You're probably thinking "well that sucks." It doesn't have to suck. Why not focus on what's good about your job instead of complaining about what's horrible about your job.

Want a companion, go to places where you can easily find people to talk to. I assure you the more people you share your life with the better your chances of finding a companion.

Want your medical problems to go away, take all the steps necessary to make that happen. Some of those steps will require you to do things you prefer not to do. But, make up your mind as to what's more important to you. You can choose to keep your medical problems and bitch about it all day or you can choose to eat healthier, exercise, lose weight, see a specialist, etc. etc. It's your choice. Bitching will never make you better nor will it ever make you happy.

My choice in life is to do both accepting the cards that were dealt to me and changing the things I have the power and control to change. What I refuse to do is:

Waiting ON The World To Change

Bring Back That Loving Feeling

Bring Back That Loving Feeling

Have you lost that loving feeling? Does every day seem like the day before? Does your passion for life only revolve around your favorite football team, shopping, reading or playing Candy Crush on your tablet? When was the last time you really, really hugged someone? When was the last time you really, really rooted for someone other than yourself?

I could go on and on because I'm getting a sense that we, as a human race, are losing that loving feeling. The truth is that the only way to make this world a better place is to bring back that loving feeling. The truth is that the only way to create a happier life for yourself is to bring back that loving feeling.

Here is what I want you to do today - HUG someone. I don't care who - just do it to the first person you see after you've read this blog. BTW, I'm not talking about pat on the back. I'm talking about giving the other person a big bear hug while squeeze with all your strength. 

I'm sure that person will be shocked. I'm sure you'll be shocked. However, I'm also sure the two of you will feel great after the hug. The other person will probably ask you: "what was that all about?" Your answer should be: "I'm just bringing back that loving feeling."

Don't be surprised if the other person grabs you and give you a big bear hug. Bringing back that loving feeling is infectious. It also has a multiplier effect. Two people hug - those two people then hug two other people - those four people hug another four people - those eight people hug eight more people and before you know it the world becomes a better place and you become a happier person.

Some of you are probably thinking hugging is bullshit. In my opinion, those people haven't been hugged in a long, long time (if at all). Most of you probably think there is no way hugging people will make the world a better place. Maybe you're right, but not doing so sure as hell isn't working. At a minimum you'll be happier the more people you hug.

My mother had that loving feeling her whole life. Oh sure she worried a lot, but when it came to people, she loved them all. I enjoyed every hug she gave me. My father on the other hand never hugged me. He had lost that loving feeling early in life.

At forty, I decided to hug my father. I traveled from Los Angeles to Philadelphia to hug my father. It felt so good when he hugged me back. We both cried. That was the first time I saw my father cry. We did a lot of hugging until he died.

Sooo, I'm asking you - no I'm begging you to:

Bring Back That Loving Feeling