Make just one someone happy And you will be happy too

 "Make Someone Happy"  By Jimmy Durante

It's so important to make someone happy
Make just one someone happy
Make just one heart to heart you, you sing to

One smile that cheers you
One face that lights when it nears you
One girl you're - you're everything to

Fame, if you win it
Comes and goes in a minutes
Where's the real stuff in life, to cling to?

Love is the answer
Someone to love is the answer
Once you've found her
Build your world around her

Make someone happy
Make just one someone happy
And you will be happy too

I just sang you this song because many of you have never heard it before. It's over 60 years old and it rings true today. There are many ways for you to find happiness, this way is guaranteed. 

                                        Make just one someone happy
                                        And you will be happy too

If you believe the outside world should make YOU happy, you've got the wrong strategy. Why not do something to make someone else happy. When you see the happiness in someone's eyes and body language, it will make you happy. Paying it forward always works.

I do my best to make Joyce happy. Do I do it for her - yes. However, when she hugs me because I make her happy, I feel happy too. Like I said, waiting for someone else to make you happy, rarely works, but the more you make others happy, the better chance they will make you happy back.

Soooo,

                                    Make someone happy
                         Make just one someone happy
                         And you will be happy too

And The Award Goes To

 And The Award Goes To

Have you ever received an award? I've received many in business, but never in my personal life. If you have received an award(s), where is it today? I have mine in a trunk (I think). Do you look back on it? Did you deserve it? Most of mine were in sales and marketing and believe me I deserved them all.

In sports today, little kids all get an award even if they lose. For some reason, teachers, coaches, parents believe it's good for the child's mental health to give them an award even if they did nothing but show up. Parents are so afraid their child will be sad (or worst angry) so they push the teacher or coach to give them an award so their child will be happy.

I'm old school, so I'm calling bullshit. The real reason parents want their child to get an award is so they don't have to parent them. This doesn't bode well for the parent or the child later in life. An earned award is much more appreciated. Trying to get that earned award will make the child try harder. Without that work ethic, the child won't be able to cope with life in the real world.

Where is your head on this topic? If you have an adult son or daughter who still lives with you, you've failed. If that child doesn't work or works but can't support themselves, you mondo failed. However, if you have an adult son or daughter who has made a life for themselves, give them an award.

Do you reward yourself? If you've lost the five pounds you've been trying to do, give yourself an award - a Sunday with cherries, nuts and dark chocolate syrup would be my award. Give your husband an award if he is making you happy - I won't tell you what my reward would be because this is a family blog.

The bottom line is that you do wonderful things that never get awarded. It's great when you get an award from the "outside world," but even if nobody gives you one, award yourself because you've earned it.

And The Award Goes To - YOU

Depression

 Depression

You can't be happy if you are depressed. Even though my life today is void of depression, I spent quite a few years being depressed. Therefore, I know depression and the impact it had on my happiness.

I'm not a doctor, but these are the things, I believe, can cause depression.

* Financial problems. Living paycheck to paycheck makes you feel that you don't have control of your life. Worrying about money, even if you have enough money, leads to depression. My solution is to never get yourself in financial trouble. Sounds simple, but it's not.

Two divorces put me in financial trouble, and I was depressed. What I learned from that experience was that I could live a happy life spending less. I wanted a lot of things, but I needed very few. Sooo, don't put yourself in a position to become depressed because you (or your loved ones) spend on things you don't need.

* Worrying about what's going on in the world today. My solution, focus on the things you have control over not the things you can't control. You can control what you watch in the media. You can control having only positive people in your life. You can control your positive outlook on your life.

* Feeling depressed and not knowing why.  This is a very serious issue. If you haven't gone to your doctor, go NOW. Don't try to fix it yourself. Don't accept it as part of your life. Your doctor may have to try different drugs, but there are ones that will help. I got help and so can you. 

* Surrounding yourself with negative people and a negative environment. My solution is simple but hard to achieve. PUT YOUR SELF IN FIRST POSITION. That means YOU come first even before your spouse, kids, family, friends, and job. Focus on YOUR happiness not their happiness. Make decisions that put you in first position.

I used to believe doing the above was selfish. What I learned was when I got what I wanted, I had so much more energy and love to give to others. Allowing anything outside of yourself to make you unhappy will make you depressed. 

Step up. When someone asks you which restaurant you want to go to, never say: "I don't know, where do you want to go. You should say, "I prefer (prefer rather than

demand) Italian." When your spouse asks which steak you want, tell him/her: "I want the best one." Why the best one, because you deserve the best one.

Please believe me, you can take control of your depression. You probably will have to do things that are unpleasant, but happiness comes at a price.

Depression = Unhappiness. Control = Happiness

Tell Me Something Good

 Tell Me Something Good

When I mentor people who are having problems with their happiness, I tell them, when they see someone after a bad day, tell them something good. If the only thing that was good that day was lunch, tell them about the great ham sandwich you had. Positive energy begets positive energy.

When you come home from work, do you say to your spouse - I hate my boss, the project I'm on sucks, and the drive home had a lot of traffic. You have a choice. You can say woo-is-me or you can say I had a great ham sandwich. Which one do you think will make you and your spouse happier?

If you choose the former, take it from me, you will never be a happy person. If you choose the latter, you have put positive energy as your priority. People like positive people. If your friends or family like to wallow in the negative, you have chosen the wrong friends. Get rid of them.

Ellen's uncle always said: "always make something good out of something bad." I spent too many years doing just the opposite. Was I a happy person - hell no. When I changed, I realized that life was good even with all the bad shit happening to me and around the world.

We live in a negative world, The media is negative. The people in power spue their negative opinions. Many of us have friends or family who only look on the dark side. War is ragging. Too few of us like the two candidates running for president. Is all of this affecting your outlook on life?

I prefer to see the bright side. If you live in America or a Democratic country. Your life will go on. You will always have food to eat, air to breathe and shelter. Everything else is cosmetic. Please trust me, either candidate will not ruin your life.  

America will always heal itself. The past has proven America can always make something good out of something bad. If you don't believe that, you're living in the wrong country.

You can't change the world as it is today. Sooo, why not change yourself and the people around you. Start by always;

Telling Something Good

No Regrets

 No Regrets

Regrets, I've had a few
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Young kids today never heard the song: "My Way" by Frank Sinatra. Young Kids don't have any regrets. It's the older people who seem to have regrets. When I look back on my life, I decided to have No Regrets.

I grew up poor, but I had lots of friends who were also poor. A line in my first book: "At 10 I was poor, but I was having fun." Being poor made me appreciate the things I did have. Being poor gave me a strong work ethic. Yes, I was poor, but today I have:

No Regrets

I had a horrible first marriage. So much so, that I was an inch away from having a mental breakdown. However, right after the divorce, I was free. I could see the light of day. I could make choices in life that I could never make before. 

The end of my first marriage was like the old joke: " A guy tells his friend that his wife hits him over the head with a hammer every day. His friend asks him: "why do you let her do that." He responds: "because it feels so good when she stops.""

Bad marriage and divorce were difficult, but I had:

No Regrets

My marriage to my second wife was not what I expected. I married her for all the wrong reasons. The most important one was that she was the total opposite of my first wife. Eventually, the marriage ended in a bitter divorce where I was left with financial disaster.

However, my second wife introduced me to Bob. With Bob's help I was able to change my life for the good. The tools Bob gave me helped me become a happy person. Once I fixed my life, I was able to appreciate My Ellen. We had a great 35 years together until she died from a massive heart attack. After Ellen I found the love of my life, Joyce. I've never been happier.

Second marriage ended in divorce and financial ruin, but to this day, I have:

No Regrets

Sooo, Regrets - what are they good for - absolutely nothing. Living your life with regrets will never make you happy. The events of your life have made you who you are today. You can't change the past, so your only choice is to find a way to focus on your happiness today with no regrets from the past.

Regrets, I've Had A Few, But I Made It Through And Did It My Way.