What If

 What If

What if my parents were rich? What if I was taller? What if I didn't have my father's bad back? What if my first wife was my wonderful Ellen?  What if I took more risks in business? What if...............?

If my parents were rich, would I'd be as happy as I was growing up? Money never seemed to relate to happiness when I was growing up. My dad wouldn't have to work so hard to make ends meet, but the simple life we lived always put a roof over our head and food in our belly. 

Not being rich, forced me to work at a young age. That taught me about hard work, business experience and appreciating what I did have. It enabled me to accomplish everything I did in my business career. I would not trade anything I did and learned growing up.

What if I was taller and didn't have a bad back? I was a jock. I was a good athlete. However, at 5' 8" and 150 pounds, a career in football was not on the table. Would I have been happier being a pro player - I'm not sure, but I sure would have loved being part of a sports franchise.

Sooo, I did the next best thing - I learned everything about football, baseball, basketball, etc. I watch football like I'm in the game - that makes me very happy.

What if MY Ellen was my first wife? For sure I'd be richer (two divorces took all my money). However, I was not who I am today back then. I was a mess and Ellen would probably have divorced me. I needed to go through those difficult times in my life to become the happy person I am today.

What if I took more risks in business? I'm sure I'd be richer than I am today, but would I be happier? Starting my own Hi-Tech business would probably have put so much stress on me that my health and my happiness would have suffered. The way I was raised (my father never took any risks) and my DNA, just never made me an Elon Musk. Trying to be like Musk would never made me happy.

What about you? Do you live in the world of "What Ifs?" Can you be happy with yourself just the way you are? Can you love yourself with the life you created? If you can't then,

What If

A Man Travels Far To See Who He Really Is

 A Man Travels Far To See Who He Really Is

It took me over forty years to see who I really was. Growing up was easy for me. I had good parents, a roof over my head, enough food to eat - air to breathe and shelter. I had fun friends. A line in my first book, "at ten I was poor, but I was having fun."

The middle years weren't as easy. I didn't realize how much baggage I was carrying. Although on the outside I showed great strength, on the inside I was insecure. Going into sales brought out all of my insecurities. you see, in sales you either make your numbers or you're a loser. If you do great one year, you still have to make your numbers the next or you're a loser. Sales scared the shit out of me.

In those middle years, I didn't realize how many buttons I had. It was easy for my first wife and my second wife to control me by pressing my buttons. It was easy for me to feel anger, frustration and defensive at home and at work by others making me feel I was not good enough.

It took me forty years to solve my problems - BTW, I'm still working on them and will continue to do so the rest of my life. It took a very bright person to show me what I needed to do to get over my issues.

First step was to get rid of my buttons. Second step was to love myself just a little bit more than anything and anybody else. It took Bob eighteen months to help me see the light. When I finally got there, I took control of my life and became a happier person.

I truly believe that going through those middle years of hell helped me become the man I am today. I was always a good person. I was always a person who wanted to better myself. I was always a person who wanted to get the most out of life. I just needed someone to guide me to a happier life.

The tools that Bob gave me I'm still using today. Now at 77, these are the happiest years of my life. The journey was well worth it because I know who I really am.

How To Cope With What's Happening In America

 How To Cope With What's Happening In America

Inflation - UGH! Gas prices - UGH! Shortages of food, cars, and almost everything else - UGH! Killings by guns - UGH! Racial and LGBTIQ attacks - UGH! Woman's rights - UGH! Proud Boys and the far right that want to take over America - UGH, UGH, UGH! Are you depressed yet?

What the hell is happening in my America. How do we cope with all this?

The simplest answer as to what's happening in America is anger and hatred. Some blame it on the effects of COVID. Some blame it on mental problems. Some blame it on too much negative news. Some blame it on social media that gives everyone the right to spew their anger and hatred.

I blame it on the political leadership. Remember when politics was in the middle. Some were a little right of the middle. Some were a little left of the middle. Even those who were a little left or right were still close to the middle.

Congress today is nowhere close to the middle. Democrats hate Republicans. Republicans hate Democrats. The Democrats have gone too far left and Republicans have gone too far right. Democrats are pushing a leftwing agenda because they believe that's where they will get the majority of the votes. Republicans are pushing a rightwing agenda because they believe that's where they believe they will get the majority of the votes. Congress is polarized.

What about us (there are a whole lot of us) in the middle? Who do we vote for? Who in Congress has our back? Who in Congress are making critical decisions that meet our needs? We didn't have this problem in the Obama administration. We didn't have this problem in the Regan administration. In my 77 years, I don't remember ever having this much division in Congress. 

We always had disagreements. There was always tension between the parties, but never the hatred and polarization we have today.

Sooo, how do we cope with all this. One answer is to vote for the person who you believe is leaning more to the middle. Sounds like the smart thing to do if you can find that person - which isn't easy. 

I believe you have to take a more personal approach. I suggest the following:

* Tune out the noise. Don't get caught up in all the negative media. Don't let your friends and family spue their negativity on you. If you don't want to get rid of them, change the subject when they spue. If that doesn't work, tell them you are not going to talk politics with them.

* Focus on what good is going on in your life. Take the time to step back and look at your life in a positive attitude.

* If you accomplish anything (like cleaning a closet) that day, pat yourself on the back. 

* If someone does something nice to you, hug them.

* Control you anger/hatred of things you can't control. Anger/hatred does not serve you. It destroys who you really are. It instructs your brain to find more things to hate or get angry about.

* Love life. Love people. 

LOVE YOURSELF

It's Not Easy Being An Older Bachelor

 It's Not Easy Being An Older Bachelor

After I lost My Ellen, I find myself now being a bachelor. Before COVID, a guy or gal would go to a place to meet people or go to a bar and talk to someone. I thought it would be that easy. Guess what, it's not that easy.

There just isn't a lot of places to meet people anymore - COVID put a damper on that idea. When Ellen and I went to our local bar(s), we would meet people all the time. Some became friends. 

Before COVID the bar was so crowded that sometimes we had to wait to get a seat. Now - where are all the people? I've been trying for a few weeks and I have not found anyone to talk to (except the bartender). It's not because I'm shy - anyone who knows me would never call me shy. It's because there are only one or two people (all men) at the bar - COVID I hate you.

Sooo, I'm now doing what everyone else is doing - MATCH.COM. I'm old school. This way of meeting people sucks. It's so impersonal. You see a picture (which is probably bogus) of a woman and send her a message. If you're lucky someone sees your picture and sends you a message - impersonal. 

If you do connect to a woman, it's message, message, message before you realize she is not right for you or she realizes you're not right for her. Should it get further than just messaging, you set up a phone call. After a call or two, you realize she is not right for you or she realizes you're not right for her.

If the calls go well, you then set up a date. When the date happens, you might find out that the picture you saw in the first place is not what that person looks like now. You might also find out that person told a few white lies about herself. After the date, you might realize she is not right for you or she realizes you're not right for her. Then you have to go back to square one. WOW, does this suck.

I don't lie. I was brought up that way. If someone asks me a question or my opinion, I only have two choices. One, say I don't want to answer that question or two, tell that person the truth (my truth - not necessarily THE truth). For the life of me, I can't understand why someone would lie on a dating website.

OK, to all my readers (especially the ones that know me), please find me a human woman to date so I don't have to go through online hell. I only have three criteria: 

1. A woman that has a brain in her head and is interesting

2. A woman that loves life and loves to laugh

3. A woman that has not given up on her sexuality.

I'm not looking for another Ellen - that's impossible. I want to be with someone that's different. I love learning and experiencing new things and new people. 

Listen, I'm a great guy. I'm a catch. Find me someone that's not just a picture on a computer - PLEASE! 

 The Seven Reasons You Keep Seeing 111

My Ellen and I would always see a clock state 1:11. Sometimes 11:11. When I looked up, on the internet, what that might mean, I realized it's not only what I (and My Ellen) believe, but what I've been saying to myself and everyone I talk to or blog to. Please read below and consider your life.

1- You are attracting everything that matches your energetic vibrations.

     

    a. You have put yourself in a place to attract people and situations that match your energetic vibrations. This is the law of attraction.

2- You have the strength to leave the past behind

    b. The past can hold treasured memories. However, thinking about it is not helpful when it's not positive. Especially when it keeps you chained to the past

3- You allow your true individuality to wake up

    c. It's a message for you to embrace the wholeness of your true self 

4- You are ready to make a difference

    d. The Universe is urging you to step into the chief role as a leader (either workplace, friendship or parent) you were never meant to be

5- You are ready to start something brand new

    e. Even if your experience is a loss (My Ellen), the circumstances that you probably saw as a setback, is the very thing that launches you into a period of growth.

6- You are ready to nurture a soul-friendship relationship

    f. The Universe is letting you know that you are ready for a new relationship whether personal (I'm so ready) or work related.

7- Recognize and seize opportunities all around you 

    g. The Universe is always giving you a multitude of opportunities to grow your own abilities so you can 

Truly Yake Charge Of Your Life