Afterlife

Afterlife

I was fourteen when I sat beside my dying Grandmother. She was a hoot and I loved her dearly. I asked her: "Bubby, how are you feeling." She stared straight at me and said: I'm dying." I couldn't help myself in trying to make her feel better so I said: "Bubby, you're going to a better place." Again with that hard stare she said: "What better place - I'm going into the ground."

At fourteen, her words didn't register with me. However, at thirty, when I was miserable at home and at work, her words hit me right in the face. What if she's right? What if there is nothing more after death than dirt or ashes? What about my happiness NOW!!

Five years later, her words were the catalyst for me to divorce my first wife, ask for a demotion back to marketing from my boss (who thought I was crazy, but I loved marketing) and move to Los Angeles. 

Those changes were painful, but necessary for my happiness. Her words got me to focus on my happiness. However, a little later in life I started to rethink her words. Those of you who read my blog "Knock, Knock, Knock-en On Heavens Door," know I'm not big on religion and this whole Heaven and Hell crap. I am big on putting positive energy out to the Universe.

I started to believe there was more going on, when three significant events happened in my life. The first one happened after my divorce. I was dating a lady in Los Angeles who had this remarkable connection with her dog. I kid you not, she would just think about something and Whitey (obviously the dog was big and white) would go get it or lay down or go upstairs so we could have some privacy. 

One day I drove the fifty miles to see my kids. I had given my lady the phone number of my first wife's house in-case someone called me from work (we didn't have mobile phones back then). When I arrived at the house there was a lot of screaming going on between myself and my Ex. 

I was feeling guilty about the divorce and the impact it was having on the kids. I tried to defend myself, but her words felt like she was hitting me with a bat. After ten minutes of this deserved pounding, the phone rang. My Ex answered the phone and then handed it to me. The first words my lady said were: "are you OK?" I asked her why she was calling and she said: "I felt like you were being beat up." Could this have been a coincident?

The second one happened when my mother was dying. I used to see her in the Nursing Home on the weekends and every Tuesday night (Tuesday's with Edie). Six months after she got tongue cancer I had this feeling I needed to see my mother. It was noon on a Tuesday and I wasn't going to see her until dinner time. But, this strong feeling got me to go see her now. 

She was semi-conscious from the morphine so our conversation was short. I kissed and hugged her goodbye and felt good about seeing her. I got a call from the Nursing Home at dinner time, that same day, saying my mom had passed. Could this have been a coincident?

The third happening was when I met my beautiful wife Ellen. She warned me that she was a White Witch. I didn't know what she meant at the time, but, when at work, if I was thinking about what I really wanted for dinner, it would be on the table when I got home. 

We're together thirty years now and she knows what's going on inside me before I know what's going on inside me. She does the same with her close friends. Could this just be a coincident?

These events make me believe there IS something else going in this Universe that might have an impact as to what happens to us in the Afterlife.  We only use twenty percent of our brain. What would using the other eighty percent enable us to do? Could the other eighty percent activate when we die living something behind?

My wife believes in reincarnation. I don't, and I'll tell you why. All the people I know who believe in reincarnation believe they were a King, Princess, CEO, etc. in another life. None of them believe they were a Bum, Thief, Murderer, etc. in a prior life. Therefore, I'm calling bullshit to reincarnation.

What do I believe in? Well, I woke up from a dream one day that projected me to live to the year 2038. I'll be 94 at that time. When Ellen and I look at the clock, which we don't do often, it reads 11:11. This happens so many times that I now believe I will live until November 11th, 2038. I so strongly believe it, I published a novel called "The Year Of My Death."

Sooo, is there an Afterlife? Scientifically the scientists say no, but, I'm not sure. Too many things have happened to me in my life to agree with the scientists. I know there is more going on than what we see. I don't know what form it would take or where the energy would go, but I truly believe we are going to send energy out to the Universe when we die.

It makes some people feel good to believe there is a God and a Heaven. I say: "don't count on it." However, if there is any chance that I'm right and my Grandmother was wrong, if there is any chance that something is going to happen in the Afterlife, I suggest you start sending positive energy rather than negative energy out to the Universe 

NOW!

SWEATER

SWEATER

There are three kinds of fighting. Boxing is one, but I'm not going to talk about that. Military is another, but I'm not going to talking about that. The one I am going to talk about is what I call social fighting.  

Let me clear, I'm not talking about fist fighting. I'm talking about verbal, emotional and mental fighting. All three have a controlling element about them. Sometimes we fight to get our point across. Sometimes we fight because we're trying to defend ourselves. Sometimes we fight because we don't believe the person(s) we're fighting with is hearing us. Most of the time we fight because we want to control the situation.

My wife hates yelling. I yell when I get frustrated or defensive. I know I shouldn't do it, but, as a Philly boy, everybody yelled when I was growing up. The good news is we don't fight often and when we do it only lasts for a few minutes.

Ellen loves me a lot and I love her a lot, sooo, we know nobody is leaving anybody. There are no threats involved. We are soul mates for life. Therefore, what's the sense of an argument lasting longer than a few minutes - absolutely nothing!!

She also hates when I argue with a friend. Many times I don't realize I'm taking this argument too far. She came up with a plan that works most of the time. When she thinks I'm dragging this argument too long, she says in my ear "SWEATER." That may sound stupid, but, it gets me to back off, take a deep breath and realize the argument needs to stop. 

I realize now that I'm more mature, it no longer isn't that important who wins the argument. It's not worth the frustration or anger. I said what I needed to say. I know the other person heard me. If that person wants to hold on to the proverbial bone, let them. I realize now I can and most of the time should, stop the argument. 

Most of my adult life, I was the one holding on to the bone and where did it get me - nowhere!! All it did was make me unhappy. Happiness Is The Forgotten Ingredient In Life. I need to lose a few to keep me happy. I wish I could be like my friend Kenny. The second he sees an argument coming, he backs off. I, on the other hand, still fall off the turnip truck once in a while until Ellen says: "SWEATER."

Verbal fighting is the predominate form of social fighting. However, emotional and mental fighting is the most insidious. Walking around with negative body language because you're pissed off with the other person can sometimes hurt that person more than yelling at them. Not talking to them while your face shows its anger, can sometimes hurt that person more than yelling at them. 

There are many forms of verbal, emotional and mental fighting. Those of you who, fight, probably have used one of those forms to make a point, piss the other person off or take control. It's that "I know better than you" fight that is the most controlling. Using words like "you're stupid" really hurts because you're controlling the situation by name calling.

Walking around pissed off at the other person for hours (sometimes days) really hurts because your controlling the situation by emotional and mental torture. Getting others to join you in the fight is verbal, emotional and mental torture to the other person. That person feels ganged up on. To some people, it can feel like being raped.

If you've been reading my blogs, you know I stress that for your happiness, you should never let the outside world make you unhappy. You are in control of your happiness. If you really love yourself, their controlling words or emotional fighting should just roll off your back. You are in control of the fighting. You can always choose to not fight.

With that said, reading my blogs and doing what my blogs say isn't so easy. If you can't stop them from fighting and making you feel like shit, try your best to do what my friend Kenny does. If you are the one involved in a fight and you just are making yourself and the other person miserable by dragging it on, try:

"SWEATER"

 

SEX

SEX

I can get my head around as to why human males have evolved to have orgasms - it encourages them to have sex to preserve the human race. What I've always wondered is why do females have orgasms. Sooo, like most questions today, I went to the internet.


Much as women's breasts have fascinated many male, evolution-minded theorists, the female orgasm has confounded them. Like breasts, female orgasm is a major head-scratcher for mainstream narratives of human sexual evolution. It's not necessary for conception, so why should it exist at all? For a long time in fact, scientists claimed that women were the only female animals to experience orgasm. But once female biologists and primatologists arrived on the scene, it became obvious that many female primates were indeed experiencing full-on, wake-the-neighbors orgasms.

The underlying motivation for claiming that female orgasm was unique to human beings probably lay in its central role in the standard narrative of human sexual evolution. According to this view, orgasm evolved in the human female to facilitate and sustain the long-term pair bond at the heart of the nuclear family. Once you've swallowed that story, it becomes problematic to admit that the females of other primate species without a hint of nuclear families are orgasmic, too. Your problem gets worse if the most orgasmic species happen to be among the most promiscuous as well, which appears to be the case.

As primate sexuality expert Alan Dixson writes, this monogamy-maintenance explanation for female orgasm "seems far-fetched." "After all," he writes, "females of other primate species, and particularly those with multimale- multifemale [promiscuous] mating systems such as macaques and chimpanzees, exhibit orgasmic responses in the absence of such bonding or the formation of stable family units." On the other hand, Dixson goes on to note, "Gibbons, which are primarily monogamous, do not exhibit obvious signs of female orgasm." Although Dixson classifies humans as mildly polygynous in his survey of primate sexuality, he seems to have doubts, as when he writes, "One might argue that . . . the female's orgasm is rewarding, increases her willingness to copulate with a variety of males rather than one partner, and thus promotes sperm competition."



The internet is many times right, but this time I think it's wrong. My reasons for both men and women having orgasms are because it's FUN!  Feeling a woman’s breasts is FUN. Having a women feel a man’s genitals is FUN.  Oral sex is a lot of FUN for both parties. Having an orgasm during Intercourse is a shit load of FUN!!!


There are so many hang-ups surrounding sex I would need five blogs to write them all. Some religions believe the only reason to have sex is to make babies. Some groups believe enjoying sex is wrong. Some groups go to the extreme of removing a young woman's clitoris so she can't enjoy sex (guess who made up that idea - MEN).

Some people attribute sex to love. "I'm only going to have sex with the one I love." Some people believe you should only have sex when you're married. Some people believe not having sex makes you stronger. Some people believe not having sex will get you closer to GOD.

To those people, I'm definitely calling BULLSHIT! 

Why can't we stop being so serious about SEX and just see it for what it is - FUN. Assuming you're mature enough to use protection, why not screw your way through life for the FUN of it. OK, I get marriage should be sacred and it's disrespectful and just not right to be having SEX with other people - although some people think just the opposite.  Maybe those people have it right and all the rest of us are wrong. Those believers are probably having more FUN than the rest of us.

Sooo, what am I saying here - it's simple, SEX is FUN. No more thinking about it. No more stressing about it. No more believing what others have put into your head. No more theories as to why we have orgasms. STOP ALL THE HANG-UPS. Just go out and have as much SEX as you can because:

It's a hell of a lot of FUN!

Body Language

Body Language

The best actors in the world use their body language to get you to feel what they are trying to project. The silent movie actors like Buster Keaton, Bela Lugosi, Charles Chaplin, Ethel Barrymore used their body language to get you to feel their pain, happiness, love, sadness, etc. Even today's best character actors and some leading actors can affect an emotion within you just by the way they display their body language.

The way many of them do this is by bring up something from their past. Bring up an emotional past enables them to cry or laugh on cue. I just watched the movie "The Theory Of Everything."  It's the story of the famous physicist Stephen Hawking. As many of you know, Hawking had motor neuron disease. The actor, Eddie Redmayne, who played Hawking constricted his body so the audience could experience what Hawking is enduring to this day.

His body language was done so brilliantly he became Stephen Hawking. I have seen documentaries on Doctor Hawking and I could hardly tell the difference. This was great acting and might just win him an award.

Sooo, what the hell is this blog all about? It's trying to tell you that your body language is saying more to others and even yourself than you think. The difference is you're not acting. Your body language is describing how you think and feel even if the words out of your mouth say something different.

If you try to stop your body language from saying what is going on inside you, then you're acting. If you try to mask your true feelings by putting on a brave face, you're acting. If you try to laugh off your sadness, disappointment, fear or anger, you're acting.

Since most of us are not great at acting, you're not fooling the people you're communicating with. They know the words coming out of your mouth are bullshit when they see your body language showing them something different.

My suggestion is to stop trying to act. Let your body tell the story. Match your words with exactly how you feel. What's the worst that can happen? Is it better to be viewed as a person who is willing to show their emotions or is it better to be viewed as someone who is hiding something.

My strong belief is to never try to hide your true feelings. You may think you're getting away with something, but you're not. All trust goes out the door when others view you as someone who is hiding something from them. All trust goes out the door when others believe you're bullshitting them. All trust goes out the door when the words spewing out of your mouth don't come close to your: 

 Body Language

''You Beat Cancer By How You Live, Why You Live, And The Manner In Which You Live Today''

''You Beat Cancer By How You Live, Why You Live, And The Manner In Which You Live Today''

Stuart Scott, one of the greatest ESPN sports announcers died of cancer at 49 years old. He fought it for 7 years. During those years he remained dedicated to his craft even as he underwent chemotherapy, radiation and surgery. 

Scott made a point of continuing to live his life -- at work and outside of it.  ''Who engages in mixed martial arts training in the midst of chemotherapy treatments?'' ESPN said in a statement: ''Who leaves a hospital procedure to return to the set?'' Scott spent those seven years getting the most out of life both professionally and socially.

I truly hope no one who is reading this blog has cancer or any other life threatening disease. However, what if you did? How would you react? Would you put on your "woe is me" hat and feel sorry for yourself? Would you wallow in the overwhelming frustration and depression of others feeling sorry for you? 

Would you change the way you're living today? Would you get angry at yourself and others? Would shut out those who want to care for you? Would you feel that life is not worth living? As Fraud said: "would you fight or flee?"

Everyone likes to think they would fight. But, until it happens (which I hope a million times over it never would) you just don't know. Some of you have seen others go through this. Do you identify with the ones that fight or the ones that flee? Do you feel sorry for the ones that stop living life? Do you feel great about the ones that fight while still enjoying what life they have left?

Even though I just said: "you'll never know how you'll react until it happens to you," I have an answer that's so simple it might just be right. My answer is: "how are you living your life now!"

Do you currently love your life? Do you have many true friends? Do you appreciate what you have? Do you appreciate the beauty of your surroundings? Do you give love and get love back? Do you do the things that make you happy? 

Do you give positive energy out to the Universe? Do you accept what's happening for now while you do everything in your control to change the outcome for the better? Do you ask for what you want, but, don't demand it? Do you accept support from the people who care for you. 

Do you believe the future is positive? Do you forgive the people who, in the past, made you unhappy? Are you the one who's positive energy is the envy of the the people you work with and the people who know you at the social level?

In my opinion the answer is more simple than even I imagine. Stuart Scott might no longer be here on earth, but his statement is the best answer I can think of:

''You Beat Cancer (Or Any Other Life Threatening Disease) By How You Live, Why You Live, And The Manner In Which You Live Today''

Yes I Would If I Could

Yes I Would If I Could

I'd rather be a young man than an old man - Yes I Would If I Could - I Really Would

I'd rather be a rich man than a poor man - Yes I Would If I Could - I Really Would

I'd rather be a happy man than a rich man - Yes I Would If I Could - I Really Could

I'd rather be a lover than a fighter - Yes I Would If I Could - I Really Could

I'd rather be a policeman than a crook - Yes I Would If I Could - I Really Would

I'd rather be a football player than a baseball player - Yes I Would If I Could - I Really Would

I'd rather be an American than any other country - Yes I Would If I Could - I Really Would 

I'd rather be a tall man than a short man - Yes I Would If I Could - I Really Would

I'd rather be a happy man than a tall man - Yes I Would If I Could - I Really Could

I'd rather be an artiest than a mechanic - Yes I Would If I Could - I Really Would

I'd rather be a successful person than a loser - Yes I Would If I Could - I Really Would

I'd rather be a happy person than a successful person - Yes I Would If I Could - I Really Could

I'd rather be me than anybody else - Yes I Would If I Could - I Really Could


What would you rather be? It would define who you are. It would allow you to fantasize what you want to be even if you couldn't be that person. It would show the outside world who you really are. 

Sooo, are you somebody that wants to be a:

Yes I Would If I Could - I Really Would person or a Yes I Would If I Could - I Really Could person?