Ya Gotta Have Friends

Ya Gotta Have Friends

Our best friend came to visit us in Las Vegas. She made the trip from Southern California just because she missed seeing us since we moved four months ago. We had a great time and missed seeing her because she's wonderful to be around, funny and does things for us most other people (some so called friends) wouldn't do.

So let's take a look as to why she's such a good friend. She stays neutral even when the wife and I disagree (she loves us both the same). When we travel or when we moved, she took care of the house, the mail and anything else we asked from her. 

She calls often just to see how we're doing. When she stayed with us this trip, she was never in our way. There was another person in our house, but my wife and I never felt obligated to entertain her. She's independent so we never had to look after her.

She and my wife get along so well that I can watch football in my Man Cave while they are laughing their ass off about things I know nothing about. 

But, let's get down to the core of friendship - we know she will always be there for us. We know she is truly happy for our happiness. No pretense, no ego, no jealously just love, love and more love.

We are blessed to have such a good friend. As the Bette Midler song says:

Ya Gotta Have Friends

Why Would Anyone Hate America

Why Would Anyone Hate America

The vast majority of Americans love America. However, there are quite a few Americans who hate America. This is confusing to me. Do we have pockets of racial injustice - absolutely. Do we have people who think the white race is the only race that should exist in America - sadly yes. Do we have a love hate relationship with Politicians - you bet-um. Do we believe there is a lot of corruption in America - we do because there is.

However, even if you hate the things I mentioned above, why hate America. We are the good guys.  We fight for freedom around the world. We put our lives at risk to protect us while trying to make the world a better place. We give money and time to help people who are oppressed or who have lost everything in a war or a storm. We have a constitution that gives rights to everyone. The fact that some people don't live up to the letter of the constitution is not a reason to hate America. 

I've traveled to many places in this world and with all its faults, I will always choose to live in America. We might believe that poor Americans probably hate America. That is far from the truth. Many of the people in the military, fighting for our wonderful country, come from very poor backgrounds. I don't see the KKK going into the military to fight for American values.

The poor has little, but they have food to eat, air to breathe and shelter in America. That can't be said for many, many places outside of America. They get their strength from family, friends and their faith. I know this because I grew up very poor and loved America. I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for America.

Why would North Korea hate America? Do they really believe we want to take over their broken down country? Why would they want to start a fight with America? My only answer is that they're bullies who only can feel good about themselves if they puff themselves up so everyone will notice. If given the choice I'm sure the people (not the leadership) would rather be living in America than North Korea.

Why would Iran, ISIS, etc. etc. hate America? I guess they think we are the bullies because sometimes we act like bullies. However, if they created an American way of life for their people, they would be better off than they are now. You might say: "they don't want to live like Americans." I say: "is your way of life working out for you and your people?" Do they really believe that their only choice is to hate America and threaten war - how sad - how sad.

The bottom line for me is that with all its flaws:

Nobody Should Hate America

Calling For Unity Across All Sides Of The United States

Calling For Unity Across All Sides Of The United States

Every once in a while I read something that is better said by the originator than the blogger (me). This open letter from Nate Boyer says it all for me. It's a long letter so I'll take out some content to shorten,but, not to, in any way, change the message.

Editor's note: More than a year after penning an open letter to Colin Kaepernick, former Army Green Beret and NFL player Nate Boyer writes another one, this time calling for unity across all sides of the United States. Here's his letter, as told to ESPN San Francisco 49ers reporter Nick Wagoner

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." -- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Dear Every Single American,

Every. Single. American. Including President Trump, Colin Kaepernick, and my brothers in arms overseas who are wondering, "what in the hell is going on back there?" I'm sitting in the same chair, in the same apartment that I sat in almost a year ago when I wrote an open letter to Colin Kaepernick. I was hurt when I saw him sitting on the bench during the national anthem, but I'm much more hurt now. Not by him, not by where we're at now with the protests, but by us.

Simply put, it seems like we just hate each other; and that is far more painful to me than any protest, or demonstration, or rally, or tweet. We're told to pick a side, there's a line drawn in the sand "are you with us or against us?" It's just not who we are, or at least who we're supposed to be; we're supposed to be better than that, we're Americans. This doesn't even seem to be about right or wrong, but more about right or left.

Today it feels like this national divide isn't even really about the anthem, or the flag, or kneeling, or sitting, or fists in the air. It's not about President Donald Trump, it's not about Colin Kaepernick, it's not about the military or even police brutality. It feels like it's about winning. That's what makes America so great, our sheer competitiveness. We're winners, and we won't quit until victory is ours.

We see it in sports every day, we "live and die" by the outcomes of our teams. That desire to win at all cost is costing us greatly now among our neighbors. This winning mentality seems to have spilled over into an obsession with being right and not willing to admit that maybe, just maybe we were wrong. We repeat mantras to ourselves like, "no matter what I will never ever surrender."

Earlier this week I sat down with a group of five Combat Arms and Special Operations Veterans. The round table discussed our individual feelings on the flag, the anthem, and the players who knelt when it was played. We all had very different takes, but what surprised me most at the end of the discussion was that we all agreed on one thing. Colin Kaepernick and President Trump should be the ones uniting our country together. Wait...what? I know it sounds crazy, but maybe that's exactly what we need to see. Maybe that's how we start to heal. Two men sit in a room and talk, simple as that.

I believe that progress and real change happens in this world when you reach across the divide, you build a bridge, you swallow your pride, you open your mind, you embrace what you don't understand. I do feel that I echo the sentiments of most war fighters when I say that what we hope for more than anything right now in America is unity

To deploy overseas, train, live with, fight alongside, and ultimately defend foreigners that you have little in common with is truly a challenging task. But returning home to a country that is so divided, so judgmental, and so hateful of one another is almost as difficult to deal with as burying a fallen comrade. We risk our lives because you are worth it, because we love you and this country.

I would love for those two leaders to have that conversation, but more than anything I just want us to love one another again. One great thing about freedom is that you get to choose everyday how you treat your neighbor.

I know some people will hate this (we love to hate things these days), and I'll get called a disgrace to the Green Beret once again. But I don't care, 

The United States Means More To Me Than Any Of That

The More You Fear The Less You Experience

The More You Fear The Less You Experience

The media does everything it can to get us to fear. This may sound ridiculous, but when it rains in Southern California the media's headline is "STORM WATCH." If the same amount of rain happened in Philadelphia it would be called "RAIN TODAY." 

Even the President Of The United States gets us to be in fear via his Tweets. Fear is not good for your soul. Fear is not good for your health. Fear is not good for your mental state. "Fear," what is it good for - absolutely nothing.

"The More You Fear The Less You Experience." If a bombing in France stops you from ever going to France, you don't know what you missing. If a shooting in Las Vegas stops you from going to Las Vegas - you're going to be missing out on a great fun time. If you fear going to the Dentist then as the old saying goes: "Be True To Your Teeth Or They Will Be False To You."

I'm not saying we all should go to North Korea. We all know that it's too dangerous to go there. However, there are so many things we fear that stops us from enjoying so many things in life. If you are still using a flip phone because you fear the new phones are too complicated, you will be missing out on so much information and entertainment that is available to you and will enrich your life.

There is good fear. Fearing walking down a dark ally in a bad neighborhood is the right kind of fear. Not going out in public places or a concert because you might get shot will limit the positive things that are available to you. 

Remember, you only have one life. 

Don't Let Fear Steal The Precious Little Time You Have Left

The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don't know

The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don't know

Albert Einstein said: "The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don't know."  Before him, Aristotle said: "The more you know, the more you know you don't know." Well, that about sums up my life. I loved and still love learning. The reason I love technology is because it changes so fast, therefore there's more to know so fast.

I like history and love going to places like Europe because you can still see history. However, history is history. It doesn't change. Even though it's been ravaged by pollution, the Colosseum in Rome still looks like the Roman Colosseum you see in movies like "Ben Hur."

Before I moved to Las Vegas, I lived in Marina Del Rey California. In just the last ten years the entire Marina Del Rey area has changed tremendously. This can be said for most of the United States. Therefore, when it comes to architecture, the US is a great place to learn and see the changes. The fact that these changes happen so quickly, I realize how much I don't know what it will look like in the future.

Technology is so interesting for so many different reasons. It affects us mentally, it affects how we live, it affects how we play, it affects how we communicate and it affects our future. I believe technology is what Einstein had in mind when he said: "The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don't know."

We think we know a lot about the human race, but when you see or read about disasters you realize how much you don't know about the human race. Some of it is very good - like the strangers who donate their time and money (and sometimes blood) to help others ravaged by storms.

Some of it is very bad - like the insane person who just last night fired on thousands of good people watching a concert killing over fifty people and hospitalizing over five hundred people. Believe me, "The more you know about the human race the more you know you don't know."

Too paraphrase what a friend of mine, "Mike Bemiss," wrote in my first book "Never Buy A Hat If Your Feet Are Cold - Taking Charge Of Your Career And Your Life:"

"Beware Of The Known"

"It's not the Unknown that we must fear. As Children everything was unknown. But, as we get older we start to build walls around ourselves, at the limit of what we Know. I will not build that wall.

I appreciate the Known, but I refuse to be limited by it - It can be a trap - if you let it - and you will never experience the next Unknown - and that is the most special UNKNOWN of all

The Next One"