Happy New Year 2023

Happy New Year 2023

Hi all, 2022 was a tough year worldwide. However, for me, it’s ending on a fabulous note because of my engagement to Joyce. We can't fix the world's problems, but we can focus on the positives. 2023 will be what we want it to be. Not for the world, but for ourselves.

 

Last year I sent a Happy New Year blog with the positive lyrics from the Beatles song "Imagine." This year I'm sending A Happy New Year 2023 blog with the positive lyrics from Louie Armstrong called:

 

"What A Wonderful World"

I see trees of green
Red roses too
I see them bloom
For me and you
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

I see skies of blue
And clouds of white
The bright blessed day
The dark sacred night
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

The colors of the rainbow
So pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces
Of people going by
I see friends shaking hands
Saying, "How do you do?"
They're really saying
"I love you"

I hear babies cry
I watch them grow
They'll learn much more
Than I'll never know
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

Yes, I think to myself
What a wonderful world

Oh yeah

 

Happy And Healthy New Year To All. Stay Safe And Remember You "Are" In Control Of Your Happiness.

 

Merry Christmas

 Merry Christmas

 

Last year I sent the blog below to tell everybody my feelings about Christmas. This year, with all the negative crap going on around the world, putting Christmas in your heart is really, really important.

 

My hope is we find a way to have Christmas all year long.

 

                                  Merry Christmas

 

Christmas puts a smile on my face. To me Christmas is an attitude not a religious event. Almost everybody I know sees Christmas as a time for fun, laughter, friends, family, food, drink and being merry.

 

Thanksgiving is for giving thanks. Christmas is for making others happy (especially kids). Jews love the Christmas type celebration so much they created Hanukkah that lasts eight days of giving, loving and joy. 

 

Unfortunately, some people don't like Christmas because they don't have loving people around them. They feel alone and that makes them depressed. That's why it's so important, in life, to make an effort to find love and happiness through people. If that's not possible then we all should find love and happiness within ourselves.

 

A simple phone call can put a big smile on someone's face. A simple gift or just a card can make someone happy. Having friends and or family over your house will make you happy. Giving love and happiness to others (especially those of need) will make you feel great. 

 

Happiness Is The Forgotten Ingredient In Life

 

Christmas = Happiness

 

A Holiday Quote

 A Holiday Quote

My love, Joyce, sent me this quote the other day:

"Love could be the road to happiness but most times happiness leads you right to the doorsteps of love because only happy people can really love."

I've been blogging about happiness for three years now. Becoming happy is powerful. Loving yourself and others is powerful. The world would be a much better place if everyone could find happiness and love.

Many people can love someone else without loving themselves. Happy people love themselves and others. Happy people can show their love in ways that unhappy people cannot. People who hide behind their barriers to protect themselves can't show love in the same way as someone who doesn't have barriers.

Barriers happen because some people don't want to expose themselves. Barriers happen because some people want to protect and not show their true feelings. Barriers prevent a person from getting all the happiness they deserve. Therefore, if you have many barriers, you can't have true happiness. Also, if you have many barriers and are not truly happy, you can't show all the love in your heart.

Getting rid of all my barriers has opened me up to showing all my love to the ones I truly love. Getting rid of all my barriers has opened me up to loving myself. Getting rid of all my barriers has made me a very happy person. Being happy has opened me up to true love - the circle goes on and on.

Even if it's just for the holiday season, drop your barriers, open your loving heart and most of all:

Be Happy

My Blog Update

My Blog Update

If you've been reading my blogs, you know that my Ellen died 7 months ago (May 11th, 2022). Even though, some of my blog readers and some of my friends (so called friends) believed two months after my Ellen died was too soon to start looking for a person to spend the rest of my life with. 

At 78 this month, I never believed it was too soon nor did my close friends, family and even some of the people who read my blogs. They all wished me well and were happy I was out there trying to find someone. I believed waiting one or two more years, at my age, would not have changed anything other than fighting father time.

If you recall, the months I spent trying to find someone on-line was a disaster. The women were either liars, bat-shit crazy or really didn't want a long term loving relationship. Well, two months ago, I found the woman I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. Her name is Joyce.

She's different than Ellen and that is what I preferred. She is very intelligent and we see the world (politics, religion, etc.) through a common lens. Best of all, she loves me as much as I love her. 

I'm so happy and so lucky that I didn't have to spend a year or more trying to find someone of her quality. The fact is many people looking for love via on-line dating, never find the love they're looking for.

We are already making plans for our future together. I'll keep you all updated on how this turns out. Soooo, 

Wish The Both Of Us Well

We Write The End Of Our Own Stories

 We Write The End Of Our Own Stories

For those of you who think you don't have control of your happiness, I say: "We Write The End Of Our Own Stories." Happiness isn't something that just happens to you. Happiness sometimes has a price. Happiness is something you want so much that you're willing to "Write The End Of Your Own Stories."

A simple question, are you happy? If you are, look back and find out how you became that way. If you know how, you'll always be happy. What if you're happy sometimes, but not all the time? Is life enjoyable enough to be only happy sometimes? Most people live their lives that way and have a rewarding life - I just wanted more.

What if you're not happy? Most people who are not happy don't believe, "We Write The End Of Our Own Stories." People who are not happy have two reasons. one, as crazy as it seems, they like being unhappy. They wallow in it. They love complaining to others. "Woe Is Me" is their mantra.

The second reason for not being happy is they have many excuses. I don't have enough money to make myself happy. I was dealt a bad hand because of the way my family raised me. If the outside world would treat me better, I would be happy. To make myself happy would mean a major change. I'm not willing to change the situation I'm in because it's too scary and costly.

From someone who made the changes (both personal and emotional), It is scary and could be costly. However, I realized the alternative of not changing is a life of being unhappy or only sometimes happy. Again, I wanted more and after dealing with the personal and emotional costs, my life has been full of happiness.

You can "Write The End Of Your Own Stories," you just have to want happiness so much, you're willing to do whatever it takes to live a life full of happiness.

Only You Know What It Will Take

The Truth Will Set You Free

 The Truth Will Set You Free

Why is it so hard for some people to tell the truth? Here is my list:

1.  Someone will think badly of me if I tell them the truth, because the truth about me isn't that good

2.  I don't want to hurt someone's feelings

3.  I don't want the IRS to take my money

4.  I'm afraid that telling the truth will get me in trouble

5. Making up a story is fun and people will like me more

6. I don't believe The Truth Will Set You Free

Let's take a look at these reasons:

1.  If you're a really bad person, I understand why you don't want to tell the truth about yourself. However, I want to believe the people reading this blog are not bad people. They might be people that are not happy with themselves and/or their accomplishments. 

They might be people that believe others will judge them badly. I say, forget your insecurities and remind yourself that the people who love you, love you just the way you are. The ones that don't, get rid of them in your life.

2. If you think that telling the truth to someone will hurt their feelings, change the subject. But, remember words are not the only thing that will show your truth. Your face and body language will tell them your truth. I believe it hurts others more if you don't tell them the truth when they know you're lying. 

I always tell the truth. The people in my life expect that of me. It would hurt them more if I made shit up. Remember what My Ellen sometimes said when I would tell her that dress you bought doesn't look good on you - her response was fuck you, I like it. Stop taking others truth so personally. It's your truth that counts.

3.  Not telling the truth to get what you want is cheating. Not telling the truth for personal gain chips away at your moral compass. It leads to having to tell more untruths and more untruths and eventually you become someone who lies all the time. Nobody likes or trusts a liar.

4. If you think that telling the truth will get you in trouble, then you must have done something bad. How about never doing anything bad. How about being a good person - wow, what a concept.

5. Making shit up will come back to bite you back. People will see through your bullshit. It won't be fun when they call you on your bullshit.

6.  If you don't believe the truth will set you free, you're wrong. Say to yourself, what's the worst that can happen to me if I tell the truth. They can't send you to North Korea. Please believe me, telling the truth means you believe:

The Truth Will Set You Free

Thanksgiving 2

 Thanksgiving 2

A few years ago, I wrote a blog called "Thanksgiving - It's Not About The Turkey." I read it again and it still rings home with me and I hope it rings home with you. This is today's edited version.

Thanksgiving - It's Not About The Turkey

 

 

Thanks for the times you have given me

 

Thanks for my health even though I ache all over

 

Thanks for the friends and cousins who wish me well, have been there for me through Ellen's death and want me to be happy

 

Thanks for letting me turn 78 soon with my brain intact even though I have CRS (Can't Remember Shit)

 

Thanks for the next 17 years (November 11 (11/11) 2038) I plan to enjoy with all my heart

 

Thanks for my beautiful (both inside and outside) wife Ellen who always had me feel mighty, mighty real and my new love Joyce who gives me joy and happiness every day

 

Thanks for a dad who taught me about the importance of hard work, never to lie and a strong moral compass

 

Thanks for a dad who gave me a bright brain and a wonderful sense of humor even though he also gave me bad bumpers (bad back, bad spine). It was a great tradeoff - thanks dad 

 

Thanks for a mom who loved and hugged me all the time.

 

Thanks for a mom who taught me to be tolerant to every race, religion and sexual orientation

 

Thanks for the money I've made that has enabled me to have choices in our American way of life

 

Thanks for Bob who got me to believe I was in control of my happiness and could choose happiness over negativism

 

Thanks for me because since 40 years old I've been making all the right choices

 

Thanks for me because I love what I've become

 

Thanks for the people around the world who read my blogs and my books because it makes me feel valued

 

Thanks for my mentored clients who have enhanced their happiness because of something I gave to them

 

Thanks to all the people who give positive energy out to the Universe so they and the rest of us could have a better life

 

Thanks to America for giving me and most others a chance to create a better life

 

Thanks to all the people around the world who believe love, tolerance and freedom will win out over totalitarianism and terrorism

 

 

To all of you on this wonderful holiday;

 

Focus on the things to be thankful for and not the turkey

Tom Brady

 Tom Brady

Tom Brady is in Munich because his NFL Tampa Buccaneers are play the Seattle Seahawks in an NFL International football game Sunday. Yesterday morning I watched an interview with Tom where he said: "Your Whole Life Is Made Up Of Memories And Experiences." I found that to be profound.

Just take time someday (why not today), to think about all your memories. Not just the good ones, but also the bad ones. As being the person that always says to you to focus on positive energy not negative energy, why do I suggest you think about the bad ones? It's because most of you have recovered from the bad ones. That recovery, has helped you to become the person you are today.

Those positive (maybe even wonderful) memories are the ones you should hold on to each day. If you have a bad day, take time to remember those wonderful memories. If you do so, your bad day will get much better - I promise you. Your positive memories have also helped you to become the person you are today.

Life's experiences have even a greater effect on who you are today. If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, pat yourself on your back for all the positives experiences you've had in your life. To experience the love someone gave you, to experience the positive decisions you've made, to experience the joy in someone else's life because of something you said or have done, to focus on the accomplishes you have accomplished will enable you to put more positive energy into your life - I guarantee it.

How can I guarantee you will be a happier person if you do what I suggest, because I'm living proof. My focus on my wonderful memories and positive experiences have made me the person I am today. No longer focusing on my bad and sometimes horrible memories and experiences, has helped me overcome sadness and changed it to happiness.

Sooo, remember,

 "Your Whole Life Is Made Up Of Memories And Experiences." Choose the ones that make you happy.

Look At What Is There Not What You Want To Be There

 Look At What Is There Not What You Want To Be There

I just watched a great movie called: "Enora Holmes." She is the 16 year old cousin of Sherlock. obliviously the movie is a "who-done-it." The line in the movie: "Look At What Is There Not What You Want To Be There," got me thinking.

In business, I always focused on what's in front of me. However, in my social life I was more focused on what I wanted things to be. In business, I made a mock-up of a tome stone with the words "focus or perish" and gave it to all my sales people. In my social life, I wasn't focused on what was happening to me now because what was happening to me now sucked.

What I should have been focused on then was what I could do now to make me happy. It took me many, many years to take control of my happiness via changing jobs, divorce, getting rid of negative friends and getting rid of negative energy within me.

Some people want to live in a fantasy world. My sister hatted her life. Instead of accepting what's happening for now and do whatever she could do to make her happy, she turned to alcohol. I had the same problem and instead of accepting the now and making changes, I became a workaholic. 

For the past thirty years, I've learned to only do things that make me happy. Some of those things were and are hard. There can be consequences when you focus on your happiness, but it's well worth it. Sooo, I say, make yourself a plaque that says;

Is What I'm Doing Or About To Do Going To Make Me Happy

Have I Found The Right One

 Have I Found The Right One

If you're reading my blogs, you know that since My Ellen died, I've been looking for that right one. It's been a struggle with many "no-ways." A month ago, I started dating someone, and we agreed to give it a shot.

When you're meeting someone who you look at as a potential long lasting loving relationship, the first thing you must feel is a connection. Call it physical attraction or just something you feel but can't explain why.

If it's only a physical attraction, IMHO, it won't last long. If it's something you feel, you then have to find out what else is inside that person that might allow the relationship to ferment. So, let me tell you what I learned about this lady and why we are giving this the old college try.

It was obvious from the start that I felt something I can't explain. After a few dates and talking in-between, I realized she was bright (I really like bright women). Our politics are on the same page. We feel the same about religion. We feel the same about what's happening in this country and around the world.

After a few more dates and conversation via phone, we are letting down our barriers and telling each other the good and the bad of our lives. We realize we can talk about everything and trust each other will keep it within our relationship. We also realize we are two people that care. Oh, I forgot to say, we love animals (she has two).

Will we meet our relationship goals - I have no idea. It's only a month. We haven't traveled with each other. You can learn a lot about someone when you travel together. We agree on what we're looking for in love making, but we haven't slept with each other and probably won't until we know each other better.

Most important is, she makes me happy.

Sooo, why am I telling you all this. It's because, I want you to look at your relationship. I want you to consider what makes you happy in your relationship. If you're looking for that special one, don't make it about the physical attraction only. Don't compromise on the must haves in the relationship. The bottom line,

Does she or he make you happy.

Weird Al Yankovic

 Weird Al Yankovic

I just watched the trailer of a new movie coming out called "Weird" "The Al Yankovic Story." A line in the trailer made me think about myself: "you will never find happiness until you accept who you are." 

It took me 40 years to finally accept who I was. It took a year and a half with Bob to figure it out. Since then, I'm a happy guy because I love myself just the way I am. Once that happened, I discovered that my friends and family (Ellen's cousins) love me just the way I am - which is non-standard.

Too many of us would prefer to be someone we're not. Would rather be a movie star instead of who you are. Would rather be an astronaut than who you are. Would rather be a rich person than who you are. Would you rather be a manager than a worker. Would you rather be taller or skinner than who you are.

The people who would rather, are not as happy as the ones who love themselves just the way they are. Some of the things you would rather be, can happen if you work hard and take chances to make it happen. However, you can't get taller by working hard. You may work hard and become a manager, but who says you'll be happier.

Accepting who you are and trying to be the best you can be with the limits you have, will make you a happy person - I guarantee you. Trying to live in someone else's shoes will never make you happy - I guarantee you.

A Poem On Life

 A Poem On Life

There was a man from Nantucket

Who hatted his life, and said fuck-it

He grabbed a hammer and struck-it

Then he realized that life was worth-it 

So he took the hammer and chucked-it

Life is hard if you make -it

Life is good if you accept-it

Life is bad if you don't live-it

Life is good if you go-for-it

The secret to life is happiness

Not living life is unhappiness

Not getting the life you deserve makes you blue

So get what you can and accrue

Seek the life you deserve

Don't let life throw you a curve

Change your life if you have the nerve

Then take a moment to observe

I love life and work to make it better

Are you a lifer or a debtor

Are a fretter or a getter

Are you a settler or a go-getter

 

Life Is A Process

 Life Is A Process

If you're reading my blogs, you know My Ellen died May 11th. My life since then has been interesting and rewarding. My relationships with my friends and Ellen's cousins have never been stronger. My dating situation has been interesting, to say the least, and the process has been rewarding.

I haven't found that special one, but I'm only five months in. The reason why the process has been rewarding is because the women I've met are so interesting. Most have lost their spouse either through divorce or death. Most have been without a serious relationship for a few years.

Some are out there looking for a long-term relationship. Some are just looking for friendship and some are unable to get over their lose. I have many. many friends, sooo, I'm not looking for another friend. I can't fix the ones that are having trouble getting over their husband and I choose not to try. Since marriage is not for me (I've had three and that's enough), I'm looking for a longtime Girlfriend.

My definition of a Girlfriend is someone who likes me as much as I like her. Someone who enjoys the things I enjoy, and we do things together. Lastly, we both have stopped looking for someone else. I've also realized that finding that person takes time. Sooo, if I didn't like the process, I'd never find someone.

Why am I telling you all of this? Assuming you give a shit, life is a process. If you love life, you'll enjoy the process. If you've given up on life, you'll hate the process. If you want a happy life, you'll love the process and if you think you'll never find the happiness you deserve, you'll hate the process.

Looking at it the other way, finding a way to accept and even enjoy the process will get you to be a positive and happy person.

Think About It

All The Power Resides In The Eyes

 All The Power Resides In The Eyes

I'm watching a very old CSI New York when a deaf mother says to the head of the CSI unit: "I speak with my hands - you speak with your eyes." That's when I realized that: "All The Power Resides In The Eyes."

When I talk to someone, I look directly into their eyes because I see many things. The eyes show sadness. The eyes show anger. The eyes show disappointment. The eyes show frustration. The eyes happiness. The eyes show love. The eyes show lying.

You just have to look closely and pay attention. I've talked to people who don't look at me while they're talking - are they hiding something or are they just shy? I've also talked to people who look directly into my eyes. Those are the people I like the best because I can see what they're thinking - the eyes don't lie - words lie.

My eyes show everything because I don't have barriers. I can't hide what I'm thinking or feeling. Is this a bad thing? Well, it works for me, but remember I'm non-standard. Many people have barriers and don't want to share their feelings. However, if you look closely, you can see how their thinking and feeling by looking into eyes. 

Sooo, those of you that have strong barriers - take them down because your eyes are giving you away. If you do so, you will find that;

All YOUR Power Resides InYOUR Eyes

The Holidays Are Coming

The Holidays Are Coming

Get your smile on because The Holidays Are Coming. I try my best to see and talk to my friends and family all the time. The holidays are when you see or talk to someone you haven't done so in a really long time. 

The holidays are the time to give love to everyone even if you don't get that love back. Yes, I said EVERYONE. Giving love to someone you don't care for, will put a smile on your face. It's not the time to remind yourself why you didn't like that person. It's the time to show that person(s) that love is in the air.

I'm not a religious person and my view has nothing to do with GOD. It has everything to do with LOVE. To wait until the holidays to be nice to everyone is just wrong. However, if it takes the holidays to love everyone unconditionally so be it. Maybe, if you do so, it might carry over into the new year or even forever.

Some people, who don't especially like the holidays, feel they will have too put-up with family they don't like, eat too much food and get fat, depressed because they don't have that special one by their side or are just "BA-HUM-BUG. These people just can't find happiness in the loving the holidays gives them. They probably can't fine the love life gives them.

I will be with the people I love and who love me. I will show my love to everyone even if they just cut my lawn. I will find my happiness in everything I do. I will care for those who don't have all that I have. I will love my life even if I have to make tough decisions to make it so.

Sooo, what about YOU? Well, you better think about it NOW because:

The Holidays Are Coming

I Love Women

 I Love Women

You all know I'm a guy. So, when most people hear me say I love women, they believe I must be talking about sex (not that there's anything wrong with that). However, my love for women is because they're interesting. 

Most men are boring to other men. They almost never talk about their feelings. Say sports, and you have their attention. Say politics and you'll never get a word in. Say, what did you buy lately, and they tell you about their new golf clubs. Say, what kind of clothes do you like, and they look at you like you're from Mars. Say, what movies do you love and they say: "The Terminator."

I'm non-standard because I talk about my feelings. Sure, I love sports, but I rather talk about more interesting things. Ask me about politics and I avoid the subject because it almost always gets me into a situation I don't want to be in. I love to look nice. Clean shaven with good looking clothes makes me feel good. Ask me about shopping and I say I need a woman to take me.

Am I Gay (not that there's anything wrong with that) no, I just like what most women like. Many women cry. I cry like a baby at the movie "Sleepless In Seattle." Ask a woman what movies do they like and they tell you about movies men never watch. Most women don't want to get into a back and forth about politics. 

Most women talk about many, many things that most men never talk about - that's why they're so interesting. One problem, ask them about shopping for shoes, handbags, clothes, etc. and they won't shut the fuck up.

I think I have more women friends than men friends and I have many, many men friends. If you cry on the shoulder of a man friend, he will say I'm so sorry. Cry on the shoulder of a woman and she gives you a hug.

Sooo, you men out there, spend more time talking to women because they are a lot more interesting than your macho men friends.

Rule number one is, don’t sweat the small stuff. Rule number two is, it’s all small stuff.

 Rule number one is, don’t sweat the small stuff. Rule number two is, it’s all small stuff.

— Robert Eliot, author

Worry, worry, worry - we worry a lot. We worry about our finances. We worry about the kids. We worry about what's going on in the world. We worry about climate change. We worry about our health. We just do a shit load of worrying.

We worry about the small stuff, and we worry about the big stuff. The thing is 95% of the things we worry about is the small stuff. However, even the big stuff is small stuff. WOW, are you telling me that if I have cancer that doesn't count as big stuff? I say it depends on how you view your life.

If you view your life with cancer as a death sentence and stop living life, then cancer is big stuff. However, if you view your life with cancer as having limited time to get the most out of the life you have left, then cancer is the small stuff.

I don't want to live a life full of big stuff. I want to think about the problems in my life as all small stuff. I've decided not to sweat the small stuff. I'm going to find a way to put all my bad stuff in the background and focus on the most important stuff - living my life.

I have a really bad back. It hurts all the time. However, my attitude is that my engine and my transmission are in great shape - I just have bad bumpers. So, to me, my back is the small stuff. It can't stop me from living the life I want and deserve. I do everything I can do to minimize the pain, but even on a bad day, I enjoy the things I can do, not the things I can't do.

My point is life is good - worrying is bad. Worrying will make my back worse. Worrying will make cancer worse. Worrying will increase your stress. Stress is a killer. Sooo, stop all that worrying and remember these two rules:

Rule number one is, don’t sweat the small stuff. Rule number two is, it’s all small stuff.

The Function Of Humans Is To Live Not Exist

 The Function Of Humans Is To Live Not Exist

I grew up with parents whose main goal was to exist. Grewing up in the depression with no money and no job, just getting through the day was enough for them. I wanted a lot more and believed there could be much more to life than they experienced. I loved life and it's still my priority. 

The animal world is much different. Finding food and being safe is their goal. Even the highest form of the animal world (except humans) still can't make a very interesting life for themselves. Survival, having babies and taking care of their family and their pack is their form of a life.

Sadly, in some areas of the world, humans living experience isn't much different than that of the primates. Sadly, they don't have any choices. Not just because they don't have money, it's mainly because of being oppressed with no options other than to exist.

What about us humans who live in the free world? We have so many life choices and yet some are more focused existence rather than living. Well, you might say, some only try to exist because they are poor. I don't agree.

Poor people in the free world have choices. They can work to make themselves an interesting life or they can live a life like my parents. It's their head and their heart that has to map out a full life. The ones that let life pass them bye are the ones that find life is too hard and too scary to change the things they have to change to get all the life they deserve.

It makes me crazy to see people I know not using their capabilities to do more with their life. I'm not one of those people. After my Ellen died, I could have rolled up in a ball, stopped living the fantastic life I had before she died and just give up (exist). Instead, I chose life. 

I started living my new life one month after My Ellen died. I actually lost two, so called, friends because they felt I should have given up on life until at least a year after she passed. They believe I must have not loved My Ellen. They are wrong. I loved her dearly and she will always be in my heart.

But she is gone, and I choose life. In my heart, I know she would want me to be getting as much out of life as I can. She would never want me to just exist. Ellen was special and my goal is to find someone else who is special. I can't do that by just existing. I will succeed.

What about you? Isn't there more you can do with your life? The old saying: "life sucks and then you die," is bullshit. Life is what you make of it. Yes, changing your life is scary and might not work out, but it's a hell of a lot better than accepting existence over living.

Remember:

The Function Of Humans Is To Live Not Exist

The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.

 The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.

Sydney J. Harris, journalist

My friend, Mike Bemiss, who illustrated my first book: "Never Buy A Hat If Your Feet Are Cold," is a cartoonist and a very ZEN kind of guy. He sent me a few sayings, and this is one of them.

The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.

America is the best country I've ever been to and lived in. America is also the most stressful country I've ever been to and lived in. What makes America so stressful - MONEY, POWER, EGO and TIME. 

Most of Americans are running, running, running to get more Money, more Power and more Ego rewards. It's not a bad thing, but it's very stressful. Take it from me, I used to one of those Americans. Now that I have been there and done that, my life is so much less stressful.

Time also creates stress. We are all running out of time. Kids want time to pass quickly so they can be a grown-up. Everyone else wish time would stop or at least slow down. It's worse for seniors because they don't think they will have enough time to do all the things they want to do in their life.

It's really hard to relax when we're stressed and running all the time. That's why I love this quote:

"The Time To Relax Is When We Don't Have Enough Time For It"

Hay, you type "A" people - slow down. Take at least 30 minutes a day and do nothing but relax. Your brain needs that time to replenish. I believe, if you do, you will be a happier and a more productive person.

Hay, you people who keep running to get more Money, Power and Ego rewards. Take a step back and think about how much more Money do you really need to be happy? How much more Power do you really need to be happy. What's with that Ego of yours? The people who love you will love you even more without that insecure Ego of yours.

Hay, you seniors, why are you so worried about how much time you have left? You can't change it so stop stressing about it. Relax, and enjoy the time you have left. Focus on being happy today because you can't predict the future. 

The bottom line is we all have to stop running. Even though we're so busy:

"The Time To Relax Is When We Don't Have Enough Time For It"

Texting VS Talking

 Texting VS Talking

Are you a texter or a talker? I'm a talker, but this dating thing requires me to be a texter. After I can't take it anymore, I text the person to call me. I can't get to know someone via text. There is so much more you can learn from someone by talking to them.

Some of you prefer to text. It's less personal and you can stare at the words to make sure you're saying what you want to say. The younger generation has grown up with a phone in their hands. They communicate almost exclusively via text. They use short texts to tell their friends what they are doing at that moment. 

I can't judge, because I grew up in the computer days and writing, communicating and sharing was via a computer. I'm proud that my son and daughter-in-law make my grandkids communicate via talking and minimize their use of their phone. 

In my opinion, communication is critical to getting ahead in life. Losing verbal communication skills is a detriment to getting ahead in business and other parts of life. The inflection in someone's voice tells you a lot about the person you're communicating with - you just can't get that texting. It takes less time to get to know a person's personality by talking vs. texting.

On the other hand, some just talk too much. So much so that you tend to tune them out. Some interrupt the conversation all the time - you can't interrupt a text. What you see on the screen is what you get. 

Sooo, there are pros and cons regarding texting and there are pros and cons regarding talking.

You Decide

Feeling Good Is The Preview To Happiness

Feeling Good Is The Preview To Happiness

Kenny Felderstein

If you want to feel good:

Tell someone who has done you wrong - as My Ellen would say: "fuck you, you fucking asshole"

Getting a hug from a parent who has never hugged you before

Finding the right person to live out the rest of your life with (I'm still trying)

Divorce friends that prove they no longer wish you well

Pee on the boss's desk while leaving a note that reads: "I QUIT"

Tell your best friend you love him/her and they love you back

Keeping yourself in the best shape possible

Give positive energy out to the Universe

There are many things that you could do that would make you feel good. I always believe in writing things down so you can make sure it's exactly what you want to do or say. Sooo, write down everything little thing you could do that would make you feel good because:

Feeling Good Is The Preview To Happiness.

Liar Liar Pants On Fire

Liar Liar Pants On Fire

Webster says:

Definition of liar

: a person who tells lies

has a reputation as a liar

Synonyms

• fabricator, 
• fabulist, 
• fibber, 
• prevaricator, 
• storyteller

When I was a kid and another kid told a bold face lie, I would say to him: Liar Liar Pants On Fire. I have no idea what Pants On Fire means regarding lying, but it rhymed with Liar. Today, I would call a liar an asshole with no moral compass. Can you spell TRUMP or Giuliani.

There are many kinds of lies. Little white lies, lies of omission, lies to protect yourself or someone else, lies to make you look good, premeditated lies, lies because you told them so many times that you start to believe them and lies that you told months and/or years ago that you now don't have the courage to tell the truth.

For some lying is an addiction. It starts with little white lies and then you start to make bigger lies, and then you lie because you don't want to face the music and then you're so far into lying, you just can't stop (addicted).

Lying is also a moral compass issue. It's OK to lie to the Government. It's OK to lie to the insurance companies, it's OK to lie to someone you'll probably never see again. It's OK to lie to someone because you believe, they can't handle the truth. It's OK to lie to someone because the truth will make me seem insecure or a bad person. It's OK to lie because I might get in trouble if I tell the truth.

LYING is never OK. It destroys trust. It destroys your moral compass. In the long run, it will eat away at your self-worth. In the long run, it will get you in more trouble than telling the truth in the first place. It's a Band-Aid that will hurt more when you pull it off. 

Some say: I lie because I don't want to hurt someone's feelings. I'm calling bullshit. You lie because you're afraid that someone will stop liking you. Basically, you lie because your insecure. 

What's the worst that can happen if you tell the truth? Well, that's an interesting question. In Trumps and Giuliani's case it will probably get them locked up. In your case, it will make you a person who never lies. It will make you a person who is respected. It will make you a person who everyone can count on. It will make you the most trusted person in your sphere of influence. It will make you believe that: "The Truth Will Set Me Free."

When My Ellen would bring home a dress and ask me if I liked it, many times I would say yes, but if I didn't like it, I would say: "Ellen, I don't like it because it doesn't look good on you." Sometimes My Ellen would say back: "let me think about it." However, sometimes My Ellen would say: "fuck you, I like it and I'm keeping it" - of which, I would say - yes dear. Because we always told the truth to each other, it made our love for each other stronger.

As I've have always said in my blogs and to the people I interact with, I DON'T LIE. However, it's very hard to do that all the time. But I would not love myself as much as I do, if I became a liar. Sooo, for those of you who think it's OK to lie, my response is:

Liar Liar Pants On Fire

Is Love What You Want The Most

 Is Love What You Want The Most

Who doesn't want love? Believe it or not, many people. I wrote a blog regarding my definition of Love:

* Ellen, knowing that I have a bad back, always gives me the most conferrable place to be on the sofa even those she has a not-so-great back herself.

* Last week we purchased a small whiteboard to hang in the kitchen. The main purpose is to write down our shopping list. The first night, when she was in bed, I wrote on the board: "I LUB YOU." In case you don't know what LUB is, It's my highest definition of LOVE. It's LOVE times 10. 

The next morning, when she came into the kitchen, she had a smile on her face that made me very happy. Then, the next morning I came into the kitchen there were the words: "I LUB YOU MORE." That made me feel LOVED.

* When our dog ZITA was alive, she would wait for us at the door. When we came in, she would run to us and hug and kiss us. You could see the LOVE in her eyes.

Before we came into the house, we looked forward to seeing her so much she could see the LOVE in our eyes.

 * We LOVE our cousins and dear friends so much that when they have troubles, we hurt inside. When they are really happy, we feel even more LOVE of them.

You see, LOVE can't be defined by words. Saying: I LOVE YOU," is great and you should do it as often as possible, but the words are meaningless unless your actions truly show your Love

Many people are in a loveless marriage. Many people are with someone only for companionship. Many people are with someone for financial reasons. Many people stay with a spouse because they think the kids will suffer. Trust me, those people are not happy.

How many people are seeking Love? In today's society, not enough. Some go through life never getting the love they deserve. Some are looking for hook-ups not feelings of love. Some are looking for a sugar daddy or a rich woman not someone who gives them my definition of Love. Some have so heavy a heart that they can't let love in. Some just don't give a shit.

I had my Love, but for me it's not over. I know what a loving relationship is all about. I know the joy of being in love. I know how happy it makes me to have someone that loves me back. I also had relationships where there was no love - was I happy - HELL NO!

I divorced twice to find Love. I got it right the third time. Now I'm searching again and I'm not going to stop searching until I get the Love I deserve. What about YOU?

Being loved is a wonderful feeling. Don't just wait for it to come. Go after it - no I say, demand it. If you're just going through the motions, or for the life of me I can't understand, you don't want it. Or you don't believe you'll ever get it:

Get A Dog - He Or She Will Love You Unconditionally.