Luck

Luck

1. The chance happening of fortunate or adverse events; fortune: They met one day out of  
 pure luck.

2. Good fortune or prosperity; success: We wish you luck.

3. One's personal fate or lot: It was just my luck to win a trip I couldn't take.

To gain success or something desirable by chance: lucked into a good apartment; lucked out in finding that rare book.

Idioms:

as luck would have it

As it turned out; as it happened: As luck would have it, it rained the day of the picnic.

in luck

Enjoying success; fortunate.

out of luck

Lacking good fortune.

press/push (one's) luck

To risk one's good fortune, often by acting over confidently.

try (one's) luck

To attempt something without knowing if one will be successful.

Lefty Gomez, a major league baseball pitcher, once said: "I'd rather be lucky than good." Do you agree with that statement? Would you rather believe: "I'd rather be good than lucky?" 

All of you probably believe I would choose the later over the former. That's not true. The fact is they go hand-in-hand. Therapist say: "you make your own luck." Professionals say: "if you work hard you don't need luck." I agree with all of that, but as my father would say: "it wouldn't hurt if I had a little luck."

Hard work or making my own luck had nothing to do with me choosing computer programming as my career. 

First, my teacher had to suggest that when I graduated high school I should look into the courses offered at Dobbins Technical School in Philadelphia.

Second, out of the ten potential careers, computer programming had to be one of them. 

Third, while looking at all the choices offered, I chose the one with the blinking lights on a machine I'd never seen before. At the time I didn't even know that course was about computer programming.

As it turned out I was great at computer programming and loved everything about the High Tech business. I feel the same today. 

When I look back on my choice, I have to wonder, was I just lucky in choosing that course? I could have chosen to become an X Ray Technician or a car mechanic. Hard work or creating my own luck had nothing to do with my choice. Blinking lights had everything to do with my choice.

For that reason alone, I believe "a little luck wouldn't hurt." When it comes to luck, the keys to success and happiness are:

• Don't count on luck. Have a plan where luck is not a requirement. In my case, if I'd have chosen car mechanic, I would become the best car mechanic I could be. I would have to use a strong work ethic (from my father) not luck to achieve success and happiness. I believe I would have eventually become a Vice President of a major automotive company.
  
  Would that have been as rewarding a career as the High Tech business - NO! However, knowing what I know today, I would have found happiness in that career.
  
• Hug the shit out of luck when it hits you in the face. Every once in a while we get lucky. Meeting my Ellen was lucky. However, I could have let luck pass me by. I was going through my second divorce. I was paying two alimony supports and two child supports. I could have easily decided to skip another relationship.
  
  I chose to take another risk and believe I was lucky in meeting the most wonderful person in my life. Today, I'm hugging my luck every chance I get.
  
• Don't believe in bad luck. Believing in bad luck is negative energy. Believing in bad luck is a victim statement. Believing in bad luck means you don't believe you have control of your happiness. Shit happens! It's not about stopping the shit from happening - it's about turning the negative into a positive.
  

Do I believe I can create my own luck - sometimes? I want to hit the lottery. I fantasize about all the good things I can do, for the ones I love, with the money. To make that fantasy come true I have to buy a lottery ticket. Sooo, if I ever hit the lottery it's because I created my own luck by buying a lottery ticket.

Think about how many ways you can create your own luck by being proactive in your life. Procrastinating is the death of luck. Counting on the outside world will greatly reduce your chances of being lucky.

I'm excited about life. I'm productive. I'm happy. Therefore,

I Feel Lucky

Up To Me

Up To Me

Words By Kenny Felderstein

Inspired By Bob Dylan

The kids on the block didn't know a crock

I was smart and wanted a better start

I looked in the mirror to see what I could see

That's when I realized it was all up to me

I cheated in school to make the end come

I wasn't runny to, I was running from

I thought about who I wanted to be

However, I knew, it was all up to me

I loved computers and they loved me

I was a star and pictured my career to be

The teacher was great, his name was Mister Lee

He pounded into my head my career was up to me

My first job was great, but I go no respect

Everybody was older and I was suspect

My only choice was to prove myself so they would agree

I knew what that meant, it was going to be up to me

As the early years went by my life became a mess

I was unhappy, unloved and under a lot of stress

Bob was my savior, he explained how I could set myself free

However, he made it very clear that it was all up to me

Things got much better and I got my happiness under control

I married a great lady and gave her my soul

I wouldn't have ever found her if I didn't learn the key

No matter how the outside world wants it to be

The only way of being happy is if I accept that it's all up to me

The moral to this story is everybody has a chance to be happy

Just get rid of all the negative energy that's making you feel crappy

Live your life the way you want it to be

By shouting it out to the universe, 

It's All Up To Me

 

Then Came You

Then Came You

For some people life has many twists and turns. I'm one of those people. This blog is about the people that have affected me, in a positive way, during the course of my sixty nine years. I would suggest you take the time to look at your life in the same way.

I grew up in a neighborhood where none of the kids I hung out with did the things necessary to better themselves and create a better life. I wanted more out of life then my parents. 

I hated high school and believed I could change my future with just hard work. The summer after I graduated, the only real job I could get was at an advertising company. My main job was licking stamps and putting them on envelopes (they didn't have self-sticking stamps back then). This was not going to be my life's work

Then came you. John, my counselor in high school, suggested I look into the job training programs at a local technical school. I picked computer programming. Although I was a lousy student in high school, I was a star in computer programming. If it weren't for John, I might still be putting stamps on envelopes today.

Going through my first divorce I was lost. I felt that everybody in my old neighborhood hated me. Then came you. Mark and Patty called me from Philadelphia and told me they were not going to choose sides. They made it clear they were my friends and would always be my friend. I cried for hours after that call.

When the shock of the divorce started to subside, then came you. Juanita was the first woman I cared for at the time. We became fast friends. She made me feel wanted and valued. She helped me find my first apartment. She was a shoulder to cry on. She always projected positive energy even when I was down on myself. We are still friends today.

Then I did it again. I choose the wrong woman and three years later I was going through another divorce. Again, I was homeless. Then came you. Hal and I were sales managers together. We each managed half the western part of the country. Hal was older, but wiser. He also had gone through a divorce where his kids were involved. He gave me a place to stay at his home. Hal never liked roommates, but he took me in. 

He taught me all the things I didn't know about selling and all the things I didn't know about women. He loved life and lived his life like every person should live their life. He died prematurely at fifty. I spoke for him at his funeral. The first words out of my mouth were: "Hal was the wind blowing through my hair." 

I still keep a picture of him in my house so I can remind myself of what a good friend is like and what it's like to live life with a smile on my face.

The second divorce was horrible. At the same time I hated my job. I was a mess. Then came you. Bob was the first and only Therapist I needed. His first question to me was: "why are you here?" My answer was: "if everybody would stop treating me badly, I wouldn't need to be here." 

It took me over a year to realize what a victim response I was giving. He is the one that got me to believe that if I gave positive energy out to the Universe I would be happy. He is the one that made me believe I was in control of my happiness. He is the one that made me realize that happiness is the forgotten ingredient in life. He is the one that enabled me to open up and be loved and give love.

I had never loved before - then came you. Ellen is and was the only person I fell madly in love with. She is my best friend. She makes me feel mighty, mighty real. She loves me almost as much as I love her (nobody can love another person as much as I love her). I loved her when I met her and I love her even more today. Today, she is the wind blowing though my hair.

With so much love in my life and with so much positive energy in my life, besides my Ellen, my wonderful son Brian and my fabulous daughter-in law Umi have giving me two fantastic grandchildren, Foxx and Skye. These are the things that can happen if you give positive energy out to the Universe and become a happy person.

I will ask each of you again: "please take the time to look at all the people who have affected your life in a positive way. 

Then Came You!!

The Answer's In The Question

The Answer's In The Question

"I'm not sure you can afford this car?" It's called "the reverse." By asking that question the salesperson is attacking the buyer's pride. She knows that by asking the question, the buyer is going to demand that he has the money or credit to buy the car. There are many examples of the reverse. The years I spent in sales I became a master of the reverse. I even use it in my personal life. When I don't want to drive I ask: "Are you sure you can get me there?" The "reverse."

Many times in your life you have been asked a question that you realize is the answer to the question. "Do you believe this relationship is going to work?" The person who is asking that question knows the relationship is over, she just doesn't want to say: "John, this relationship is kaput!!"

"Do you think we should get married?" The person asking that question is really saying: "hay, get off your ass and marry me stupid!!"  The top performer at a company asks his boss: "I guess my performance doesn't justify a raise?" He knows he is the top performer. He knows he makes his boss look good to management. He knows his boss does not want to lose him. He knows his question is the answer to: "Give me a raise asshole or I'll quit!!"

It takes practice to be able to structure a question so that the person you're asking knows what answer you want. Many times we ask a question, knowing the answer, because we don't want to say the answer directly. "Are we ever going to have sex again?" The person asking this question is trying to avoid saying: "Can we have sex tonight?" By doing so, the person asking the question is putting the issue on the person she is asking. It's called "the defense."



Are you a victim of these types of questions or are you the creator of these types of questions? A top salesperson using "the reverse” is an acceptable sales technique. If used properly, it well get great results. However, in general everyday life, it's much simpler to just ask for what you want. Doing that, takes guts. Doing that, means you are confident in yourself. Doing that, means you are willing to deal with a response you don't like. Doing that, will get you the answer much quicker.

Doing that will make you proud of yourself. Proud people are happier people. Happiness is your goal. Happiness is the forgotten ingredient in life.

Feelings

Feelings

“Iʼve learned that people will forget what youʼve said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”    

Maya Angelou

Someone said something that really hurt you to your core. That feeling never leaves you. All the crazy negative shit that happens going through a divorce. Those feelings never leave you. Someone physical attacks you. Those feelings never leave you. 

You're insecure about yourself, your health, your financial situation, etc. Those feelings never leave you even if your health gets better or your financial situation gets much better. A lot of rich people, who grew up poor, keep trying to make more money because they remember those negative feelings when they were poor.

It's hard to replace your negative feelings with your positive feelings. However, when you see someone or hear something or see something or touch something, etc. it reminds you of that negative or positive feeling. 

Sooo, as Maya Angelou said: "people will never forget how you made them feel.”  Therefore, it's time you realize how you impact others. Do you want to be the kind of person that creates a feeling in others that is positive or negative? It's easier to go negative than positive. It's takes effort to not be judgmental. It takes effort to hold your tongue when someone it saying something stupid. Chastising someone will only create a negative feeling in them and at you. 

How about being the kind of person that always says something positive when they first meet someone. How about coming home to your spouse or friend and the first words out of your mouth are positive. How about trying not to fix someone's problems when all they want is a hug. A big hug will leave them with a wonderful feeling.

You have more control over people's feelings than you think. Put yourself in their shoes. What feelings would you get if someone was dumping on you? How do you feel when someone is criticizing you? When you see them the next time do those negative feelings come to mind? If so, start being the source of creating positive feelings in others. They'll love you for it and you will love yourself for doing it.

I feel bad about some people who do everything they can to hide their feelings. I feel bad about some people who never show their true feelings. I feel bad for some people who have no feelings because of a mental condition. However, I can't let those people pull me down with them. I truly believe I'm in control of my feelings. Because of that, I have no problem sharing my feelings (positive or negative) with the person who is creating that feeling inside me.

Sooo, say it loud and say it proud: "You really hurt me by saying what you said." You really hurt my feelings by doing what you just did." "You really made me feel great by having my back." "You really made my day by giving me that big hug." "When I see you I always have a smile on my face because of your positive energy."

"Just saying I love you when I don't ask for it makes me feel so happy." "I love you back."