Labor Day

Labor Day pays tribute to the contributions and achievements of American workers.  In 1882, Matthew Maguire, a machinist, first proposed the holiday while serving as secretary of the CLU (Central Labor Union) of New York.   

Following the deaths of a number of workers at the hands of the U.S. military and U.S. Marshals during the Pullman Strike, President Grover Cleveland reconciled with Reyes, leader of the labor movement. Fearing further conflict, legislation making Labor Day a national holiday was rushed through Congress unanimously and signed into law a mere six days after the end of the strike in 1894.

Labor Unions first started in Europe and were later adopted in the United States.  Their necessity originated because there were very few federal or state labor laws and workers were taken advantage of by big and small companies.  Working conditions were horrible, worker pay was very low, working hours were very long, there were no benefits like vacations and safety and security were never taken into consideration.

My father was just one of the victims of General Electric.  In the forties he was treated even worse than other employees because he was Jewish.  After the war they fired him with no notice or severance.  He was unemployed with no unemployment compensation and two kids and a wife to support.

When I was young, I was a strong believer in the need for Unions.  However, as the years went on, as I became a manager and as the federal and state government created new laws, I changed my mind.

We all know or have seen movies about mob bosses who ran Labor Unions with an iron fist, stole millions and killed hundreds.  However, that wasn't the problem.  The problem was the Unions I was dealing with were more interested in getting more money and benefits for less workers than they were interested in more people getting work.  The membership judged the Union Leaders by how much more money and benefits they were able to get them.

The companies fought back by creating a market for computers and robots that could do the same tasks that people used to do.  This was a good thing in that it created the need for more skilled labor.  What's interesting is very, very few of these high tech employees were or are in a Union.  

The end result is in 2010, the percentage of workers belonging to a union in the United States (or total labor union "density") was 11.4%, compared to 18.6% in Germany, 27.5% in Canada, and 70% in Finland. Union membership in the private sector has fallen under 7% — levels not seen since 1932. 

Now, what the hell does all this have to do with happiness?  A lot if you're unemployed or hurt by this recession.  By creating a situation where a company (big or small) can replace you with a machine makes people feel inferior.  By giving more money and benefits to the few with no regard for the many out of work, makes people feel they are not needed, not important and not worthy.  This creates depression in those who can't find a job or can't support their family.

People want to feel productive to feel good about themselves.  People want to feel they can support themselves and their families.  Most people don't want a handout from the government.  The fact that there are a few who just want to sit home, be unproductive and live off the government is a blemish on the many who want to work and be productive.

By having a few making more money than their job should pay, raises prices and makes America less competitive.  Even Europe is realizing Unions have gone from a necessary organization to a controlling organization.  Some countries need to be bailed out of bankruptcy because Unions won't give up all they have gained to create more jobs and lower costs.  The countries bailing them out are having great financial trouble on their own.

By having a few making more money than their job should pay, raises prices and puts everyday citizens in financial woe.  It's hard to find happiness when they want to take your home away.  It's hard to find happiness when you can't afford the food you want to eat.  It's hard to find happiness when you can't give your kids a good education. It's hard to find happiness when you feel like a loser.

If you're one of the people or families going through unemployment and financial stress I suggest you read all my blogs. You can find happiness even if life is dealing you a bad hand.  Please read and reread my blogs because you do have more control of your happiness than you think.  Remember negative energy begets negative energy - positive energy begets positive energy.

Do I believe Unions are still necessary - NO!  In the last twenty years, name one Union strike or one company employee lockout that has worked for both sides, has created more employment and lowered prices for us all.  The answer is it hasn't happened and it won't happen in the future.

Labor Day has gone from a tribute to the contributions and achievements of American workers to a day off from work.  If you're someone who has a job.  If you're someone who can afford to spend money on the things that make you happy then spend Labor Day giving unconditional love to your company.  Do that even if you don't like the way their running the business.  Do that for you - not them.  

The best way to celebrate Labor Day is to appreciate your day off, appreciate the life you have, appreciate your family, appreciate your friends and most of all appreciate yourself.  Never forget:

You Deserve It!! 

It's A Look

"I would rather look good than feel good"   Ricardo Montalbán

Born November 25, 1920 – January 14, 2009) was a Mexican radio, television, theater and film actor. He had a career spanning seven decades (motion pictures from 1943 to 2006) and many notable roles. During the mid-1970s, Montalbán was notable as the spokesman in automobile advertisements for the Chrysler Cordoba, in which he famously extolled the "soft Corinthian leather" used for its interior. He became famous as Mr. Roarke the main star in the television seriesFantasy Island. He played in the 1982 film Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. He won an Emmy Award in 1978 for his role in the miniseries How the West Was Won^[2] and a Lifetime Achievement Award from the Screen Actors Guild in 1993. Into his 80s, he continued to perform, often providing voices for animated films and commercials, and appearing in several Spy Kids films as "Grandfather Valentin".

I'm sure he was joking, but his, in front of the camera, persona would make you believe he was telling the truth.  He always looked fantastic even when he was eighty.  Dressed to the hilt.  Beautiful and perfect hair and his accent just made his physical being look even better.

What's really interesting is, I have come across people (men and women) who would make the same statement.  How they look is critical to their self worth and their self being.

What I've also found in my many years of people watching is, more than seventy five percent of people have a look.  I assume it must be how they see themselves.  Some look like they're still living in the fifties.  Some look like they started in the seventies movie "Disco Fever."  Some have purple hair.  Some wear their pants so low you can see the crack in their ass.

Starting today, do some people watching.  It's a lot of fun.  When my wife points someone out to me I always say to her "It's a look."  What I mean by that is even if I believe they look ridiculous  it's their look.  It's how they want the outside world to see them.  Judging them is wrong.  Enjoying their personal statement is right.

Steve Jobs had a look - tee shirts, jeans and sports jackets.  Johnny Cash had a look - black.  Phyllis Diller had a look - wild.  Hitler had a look - and it ain't pretty.  I could go on and on, but you get the idea.  Take a step back and enjoy their look - it's fun.

Interrupting or judging other people's look is wrong.  What I mean by that is, seeing someone and saying: "look at him - he must be gay."  "look at the way she's dressed - she must be a hooker."  Judging without even knowing a person is wrong, wrong, wrong.

I love bright colors.  I wear red sneakers.  I have a pair of blue and brown glasses and a pair of red and black glasses.  Does that mean I'm gay?  "Not that there's anything wrong with that." 

My wife's look is always a beautiful lady.  Even in jeans, she makes sure she looks beautiful. My look is anything that makes her happy.  I don't really care so I let her pick out my clothes.  I do want to look good and she helps me look great.  My friend Kenny didn't have a look until he let his hair grow very long.  Now that's his look.  We hate it, but it is his look.

I do have a problem with people who will do major things to their body to get a look.  Going from a 34 bust to a 38 bust via plastic surgery is a look, but at what price.  It's not just the money.  You'll have a bad back the rest of your life and when you get old those balloons will really look terrible.  Getting surgery so you look better in clothes, doesn't work for me.  How about finding clothes that make you look good just the way you are.

Doing cosmetic surgery so you keep looking younger is something I can live with as long as you don't get addicted to it.  You all have seen people who did too much and now they don't look natural.  I look at cosmetic surgery this way:

• Will the surgery make me sexier to my wife?
•  Will my friends love me more if I have the surgery?
• Will I hit the lottery if I have surgery?
• Will I write or play the guitar better if I have surgery?
• Will I like myself better if I have the surgery?
• Can I stand seeing that old guy in the mirror?

In my case the answer to all but the last one is NO!  The last one "can I stand seeing that old guy in the mirror" is yes.  The reason is, when I look in the mirror I see my eyes.  What my eyes look like is "Kenny from South Philly" - young at heart and full of life.  Therefore, there isn't any cosmetic surgery in my future.

What's your look?  If you don't have one, think about getting one.  Don't do it for "them," do it for you.  Don't think about how they will see and judge you - think about how you want them to see you.  It's your look and nobody can take it away from you.  If they don't like it - who gives a shit.  

Please remember, beauty is in the mind of the beholder.  See beauty in as many things as you can.  If someone you know completely changes their look and your first reaction is you don't approve, slap yourself upside your head and say:

It's A Look"

Death

If you're close to fifty or older you probably know many of the world's icons that have passed away in the last few years.  Sadly, you probably have a few friends and family that have died.  My Mom, Dad and Sister are all dead.  Some of the movie, music, theater and paint artists I grew up with have died.  Some of the most brilliant minds are dead. Neil Armstrong died the other day.

What this tells me is I'm almost surely going to die.  I'm leaving a little hope out there because who knows what science might come up with.  Remember, drug and healthcare companies really don't want people to die because the only people that make money on dead people are the undertakers and the mortuaries. 

The thing is, I'm going to live until November 11, 2038 (I'll be 94).  That means many of the people I know probably won't make it that long.  My heart will ache when they die. However,  I'm sorry to be so crass, but better them than I.  As I said in my previous blog, I'm going to ride this body until it doesn't work anymore.  On November 11, 2038 I'll be screaming "What A Ride."

The death of the people I know has got me thinking.  Do I fear death?  The answer for me is NO!  I do fear losing my mind.  My brain is my strength.  Using my brain makes me happy.  As long as my brain is functioning I can make a great life for myself.  My limbs are just the bumpers.  My brain is the engine and transmission.  My brain can still live a good life even if all my bumpers fall off.

Do I fear the people I know might die before me?  Again, sorry to be crass, but NO!  What happens to them isn't in my control.  What happens to them is not my fault.  I won't stop trying to get the most happiness I deserve out of life if they all die.  I wish them well and want them to be with me as long as possible, but what's it my business if they kick-off.

Will I take the best care of myself I can to make sure I make it to 2038 - ABSOLUTELY!  Drugs and vitamins are my friends.  Exercise makes me happy.  However, I like my booze and I love a great hamburger.  It makes me happy to do a few things that might risk my iffy back and neck (like dancing my ass off).  On the other hand, I'm not going down a ski slope, drive 100 MPH in a 50 MPH zone, jumping out of anything or doing the Limbo (if you don't know what the Limbo is, you're too young to think about death - read my other blogs).

The death of the people I know has made me realize a few other things.  Appreciate and love everyone you know.  Don't wait until they die to say nice things about them.  Say those things NOW!  What I mean by NOW is NOW - like today.  Think about what you want to say and say it the second they're in your presence.  Enjoy their company as if you know they're going to die sometime soon.  Tell them what's going on inside you.  Share your hopes, dreams and fears with them.  The more you expose yourself, the more they might expose themselves.

Even though I'm going to live until November 11, 2038, I am going to die.  Sooo, These have to be the best years of my life.  I have to find happiness in everything I do.  I don't have the luxury of taking anything for granted. I have to step back and appreciate my surroundings.  I have to appreciate every detail of my life.  I have to appreciate living.

What about YOU?  Do these icons, your friends or family dying make you depressed?  Do you fear your mortality?  Would you prefer to not outlive your kids, spouse, etc?  It's normal to say yes to those feelings.  The question is, what are you going to do about it?  

Worrying about death doesn't have to be a bad thing as long as you're using that fear to get closer to your friends and family, working to get all the happiness you deserve, doing what you can to live longer and: 

Appreciating The wonders of your life.

What A Ride

"Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming what a ride!" 


I was watching Real Sports on HBO and the first segment was about a professional football player who after spending eight years as a pro retired from football.  Most fans don't know his name, but they do remember his blocked punt in a game that brought back the New Orleans Saints football team after the Katrina disaster.  That block punt made the people of New Orleans feel they could overcome this disaster and rebuild their great State.

Steve Gleason is his name.  He not only was a very good football player, he's an avid sports fan, loves to fish, loves to travel, loves to motor boat and loves the crap out of life.  What I didn't say is that two years after he retired (he's 33), he contacted ALS.

For those of you who don't know about ALS, it's a horrible disease that attacks the muscles of your body while it leaves your brain intact.  Therefore, you know what's happening to you as your body becomes a vegetable and eventually dies because your lungs stop working.

Most people just give up when they get ALS - not Steve.  Yes, he started out angry and frustrated.  However, when he realized what was ahead of him, he started planning how he could make a life for himself as long as life would have him.


In the segment, Steve is still fishing, boat riding and traveling - obviously with the help of others.  His wife says she believes the reason Steve is still getting a lot out of life is because, from the early stage of his disease, he asked for help.  Instead of being depressed about his situation, he learned what he could accomplish and let the people who cared for him help make it happen.  he realized being macho about it wouldn't work.

Steve quoted: "I don't focus on what my body can't do, I focus on what my body can do.  He knows he soon won't be able to write or type on a computer.  Therefore, he's learning how to use a special computer that allows him to type on his computer using only his eyes.  

From the outset of the disease Steve wanted to leave something behind for his infant son (yes, he was able to have a child).  He started to video tape segments where he told his son about his disease, how much he still loved life and how much he loved his son and his wife.  It was heart breaking to watch some of his videos because his voice kept getting worse as the weeks and months progressed.  

Today, Steve has a great deal of difficulty communicating, but you can still see how smart and articulate he is. He's keeps up with what is going on in the world and can discuss events as good as people that don't have his handicap.

The bottom line is, Steve Gleason believes:

"Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming what a ride!" 

What about you?  Are you playing it too safe?  Is your goal to just get through life as unscathed as possible?  Are you trying to enjoy all the moments you have left?  Are you willing to take risks, love again even though you were hurt, ask for a better job even though you might get fired, learn new things, make new friends, forgive yourself for all the mistakes you've made in your life, love yourself for all the accomplishments you've done in your life and can't wait to attack the future challenges ahead of you?

I'm a lifer.  I watched my Father and Mother get very little out of life.  They played it safe and didn't live like the saying above.  I decided early on to take on the journey face first, get the most of what my life has to offer and when it does end:

"Scream What A Ride."

Why Get Up

"Why Get Up" By The Fabulous Thunderbirds

Phone keeps ringing right off the hook

Some bill collector, I know what cooks

Think I'll stay in bed, dream all day

World outside bugs me anyway

When I get things going, the going gets rough

So I ask myself why get up

Why get up, why get up

How can I get up, why should I get up

This whole world's gone crazy

Think I've had enough

I'm gonna sleep forever why get up

Went to the doctor, he said lose some weight

If you don't do it quick, we'll have to operate

I talked to my lawyer, he said case is closed

That woman got it all even the garden hose

Staring at the ceiling thinking just my luck

Better roll back over why get up

Why get up, why get up

How can I get up, why should I get up

This whole world's gone crazy

Think I've had enough

I'm gonna sleep forever why get up

Well I can't quit drinking, I'm nervous all the time

When I wake up, it's like a ton lead on my mind

What was it, I said to that girl last night

She really got upset, I best stay out of sight

I remember a gun and calling somebody's bluff

I better duck under the cover why get up

Why get up, why get up

How can I get up, why should I get up

This whole world's gone crazy

Think I've had enough

I'm gonna sleep forever why get up

Ever feel that way?  I have!  I'm sure many things have happened in your life that has made you feel like:

 "Why get up, why get up

How can I get up, why should I get up

This whole world's gone crazy

Think I've had enough

I'm gonna sleep forever why get up"

The question is what did you do during those days, weeks, months or years?  Some people fight through it while some people just pull the covers over their head. I'm the lower my head and blast through it type of person.

Usually when you've gone through multiple situations it gets easier each additional time.  The first time is hell.  Loss of a boyfriend, loss of a loved one, financial disaster, etc. is really tough the first time and it's normal to feel like staying in bed and never getting up.

Some people will do anything to avoid getting hurt or taking a risk that might lead to a problem.  Those people are saying to themselves to avoid anything bad happening to me:

"Why get up, why get up

How can I get up, why should I get up

This whole world's gone crazy

Think I've had enough

I'm gonna sleep forever why get up"

That's the wrong way to create a happy life.  Take it from me, each major loss gets easier to overcome if you overcame the first one.  The reason is simple, the more you do anything the easier and the better you get at doing it.  For example, if your boyfriend left you for another girl, and you were able to get over it, the next time it happens still feels like shit, but you realize you got over the first one and now believe you'll get over this one.

Believe it or not, by getting over really bad situations builds confidence in yourself.  Just like in baseball, the more hits you get the better you become at hitting.  Your confidence keeps getting better the more hits you get. 

Never going through a really bad time in your life sounds like something everybody wishes would happen.  I don't agree.  The easier life is for you the less life you get.  The harder life is for you the more you appreciate getting through the hard times.

The challenge is to pat yourself on the back for being able to overcome difficulties without putting up barriers.  Barriers are not a good solution.  Taking drugs is not a good solution.  Pulling the covers over your head is not a good solution.  The best solution is to feel good about losing someone who didn't love you in the first place and get out of bed and find one who will.

As a friend, you have an obligation to do everything you can to help your friends to get back in the trenches and fight another day.  Your day might be coming and you should want them to do the same for you.

Sooo, cherish the times when you were able to overcome the problems in your life or future problems that might arise.  These problems are character building.  These problems are confidence building.  These problems are part of life.  

Life without problems to overcome will not make you happier.  It you don't believe me, get a lobotomy.  At least that way you won't give a shit if problems do arise.

The more you appreciate yourself for the things you've accomplished, the better your life will get.  

You deserve a better life.

Today Is The Oldest You've Ever Been And The Youngest You'll Every Be Again

"Today is the oldest you've ever been and the youngest you'll every be again" - Oscar De La Hoya.

And you thought he was just a great boxer.  My friend Kenny sent that quote to me and It has an interesting meaning to me.  I know I'm going to get older, but not today.  I know today is the youngest I'm ever going to be, but I still see myself as "Kenny from South Philly - still young at heart."

What if you could stop the aging process and freeze your age at any stage of you life?  Would you freeze it at today's age?  Would you freeze it at an age when you were much, much younger?  Would you freeze it ten years ago or would you freeze it ten years from now?

Before you answer quickly, think about it.  Usually the first thing in your mind would be to freeze it at a younger age than today.  Isn't younger better?  Most likely your physical health was better than today.  However, younger might not be the right answer.  

Most thirteen year old kids would want to freeze their age at twenty.  Most sixty year old people would want to freeze their age at least twenty years younger.   However, if you really consider what was happening in your life, at that time, and what you had to deal with years later, you might change your mind.

"At thirteen, I was poor but I didn't know it - I was having fun" (from my first book "Never Buy A Hat If Your Feet Are Cold").  However, I wanted to be older.  At twenty, I could drive a car, have sex (yes I even thought about sex at thirteen), make money, buy more things and be an astronaut. 

Even though thirteen was a blast, I wouldn't want to freeze my age at thirteen.

When I was twenty, I got married (can you spell SEX), drove a car, had an interesting job and made more money than my father.  I wasn't an astronaut, but I was a fantastic computer programmer and almost got a job with NASA. 

However, just two years later, I had two screaming kids and a screaming wife.  The company I worked for made me a manager of five employees.  I went from a software producer to a parent.  All my employees were older than I and weren't happy I was promoted over them.  This was the first time in my life where stress made life less fun.

Even though I would never get older than twenty, the years going by did not make me happy and therefore, I wouldn't want to freeze my age when I was twenty.

At thirty, my life wasn't so hot.  I was learning and growing in a business I loved, but the stress of the job and the realization that my marriage was not working and divorce was in the future was UGH! Also, the negative impact divorce had on my kids was terrible and the loss of friends made my thirties not my best of times.

Although thirty is a great age from a physical point of view, it doesn't mean it will be a great mental and emotional time.  In my case, it wasn't, so I wouldn't want to freeze my age when I was thirty. 

At forty I was in a yin and yang time of my life.  I was going through yet another divorce.  I had no money (paying two alimony and two child support payments plus the loss of my house).  My oldest son divorced me.  I was having serious back and neck problems that required surgery.  My mental outlook sucked and I needed help. However, my career was booming, I met the best thing in my life - my wife and we were able to travel internationally.

Forty's yin was great, but I still wouldn't want to go through that yang again.  Sooo, I wouldn't want to freeze my age when I was forty.

At fifty things were getting better.  I had a wife that anyone would kill to have (just an expression), I had the opportunity to run a software company in Vancouver. I got to live in Amsterdam for a year.  The things I learned from my therapist was taking hold and my mental outlook was going in the right direction. However, my body sucked and my work was extremely stressful.

Even though there were more good than bad things going on at fifty, I just can't say I would want to freeze my age when I was fifty.

Now I'm in my sixties.  I'm retired. I have very little stress. I still have the best wife in the world.  I have great and interesting friends.   My mental outlook is full of positive energy.  I have freedom of choice.  I know things about my physical and mental situation and what to do to avoid any problems.  I'm more confident.  I'm less insecure. I like myself more.  I give positive energy out to the universe and it's giving it back to me.

These are the best years of my life! Therefore, I want to freeze my age as of today.  What about you?  Are these the best years of your life?  Do you need to go back in time or do you believe tomorrow will be much better?

Think about it!  Write it down. You might be surprised at what you come up with.  

Always remember, happiness is your goal.  You can't freeze your age so you better make the years ahead the best of your life.

Sympathy For The Devil

"The idea of heaven and hell came from the Zoroastrian Persian religion In 586 BCE."


I assume some guy who was considered to be a Holly Man (there were no Holly Women back then) came up with the concept.  It was a very smart concept.  To get people to do the right thing, the holly man created a fantastic place and a horrible place (if you don't know which is Heaven and which is Hell you're probably not from this planet).

Back then people believed in what they couldn't see as long as something else they couldn't see (God for instance) said it existed.  The reward for being good (as described by each individual religion), is a fabulous happy life after death.  The punishment for being bad (also described by each individual religion), is a fiery place full of pain and suffering.  If it exists, it's where Madoff is going. 

I'm not sure I buy into the concept, but if it stops one person from killing another person, I'm all for this Hell thing.  The only problem I have with this idea is who decides what's bad enough to get you into Hell and what's good enough to get you into Heaven?  It's different in almost every religion and in the brain of every person.  

One thing I know, if you believe and follow all the things I've written in my blogs you'll be happy on earth in this life.  Therefore, you don't have to worry if Heaven exists because you're already in Heaven.
Now, the guy who can get you to do Hell acceptable things is called the Devil.  The internet says the Devil was created by God and therefore, was written in the Bible by the Holly Guys.  I believe this idea is bullshit.  I believe the Devil was created so people could get away from doing wrong by stating: "the Devil made me do it."  I know I'm being cynical and as you can tell, I'm not much on religion, but it is one way of looking at why this ugly guy exists.

By the way, I always wondered why the Devil has never been portrayed as a woman.  Oh, I get it, all these writings were written by MEN.  I bet a women Devil would be HOT - bad pun EH!  On the other hand, there was a time in my life when I thought my first two wives were the Devil.  

We all have a little Devil inside us.  Even if we're a good person, that little Devil gets us to do bad things.  Ever cheat just a little on your taxes?  Ever tell a little lie to get out of a jam.  Ever not say something when the bartender charged you less than they should have.  Ever cheat on a girlfriend?  You know I could go on and on.  You, better than I, know the little sins you've done.  You also know if those bad doings qualify you to go to Hell.  

The point is, your moral compass is your moral compass.  Religion, the Bible, your parents, your friends, etc. are not in charge of your moral compass.  If you believe you're a good person.  If you believe you can live with the mistakes you've made in your life.  If you can look yourself in the mirror and see a good happy person, then you're not going to Hell.

If you don't believe you're a good person.  If you don't believe you can live with the mistakes you've made in your life.  If you can't look yourself in the mirror then YOU'RE ALREADY IN HELL.

I've made mistakes I would love to take back.  I've lied and cheated.  However, when I look into the mirror, I see a loving, caring, good and happy person.  I like myself.  I forgave my indiscretions many years ago,

Am I going to Heaven?  I'm really not into that stuff.  I'm more focused on what my five senses tell me which is: 

"if Heaven is described as a place where you're happy with great friends and love ones, then I'm already in Heaven!"

Is Food Just For Nourishment

Food is critical for nourishment.  The better your diet, the better you feel.  Eating better can help you keep off the unwanted pounds. However, better eating without exercise might not get you the waist line you always wanted.  The better you feel and getting to the weight you always wanted will help you toward your goal to happiness.

The question is, is food only for nourishment?  If you're poor, above the poverty level, middle class or higher and live in most countries, food takes on a much larger role in society and the development of your happiness.

Food brings people together.  What do we do on most major holidays - we eat!  Not just eat anything.  We eat the foods of our culture.  We eat that food with friends and family.  This serves two purposes.  It brings people together who might not see each other often and It reminds us of the foods our parents and their parents ate many years ago.  

Bring people together, getting re-involved in their lives, sharing with them what's going on in your life, seeing how they've changed since the last time you saw them, creating new contacts with people you hardly knew and even reminding someone they owe you a hundred bucks (remember, ask for what you want just don't demand it) will make you feel warm inside and that's what I call happiness.

Eating the foods of the past might remind you of good times.  That first bite might put a video in your brain of a time when you were young and happy.  Experiencing past happiness is a great way to enrich today's happiness.  Even on holidays like Thanksgiving, most family's mix in a little soul food with their turkey.  It's about the food we loved to eat when we were young.

Food should be considered entertainment.  Entertainment is not something you do every day.  Therefore, many times food is just food (unless you're married to a great chef like my wife).  However, on a special day or even a few days a week, you should treat food as entertainment.  It might be something naughty like a Wopper at Burger King or a different ethnic dinner you've never eaten before.  It doesn't matter.  What does matter is it's food you look forward to eating.  It's food that feels like you're being entertained.  It's food that makes you happy.

Food is only part of the entertainment.  At least a few times a month go to a place that not only has great food, but also has an interesting atmosphere.  Spend time looking around and enjoying the view.  It might be peanuts shells on the floor or a fabulous art deco designed room. What's important is you take a step back and take in the interesting and beautiful restaurant you've selected.

Food can also be art.  Even if your single and don't cook, set up the food you eat so it looks good.  Treating food as something special (even if it's takeout) will help it taste better and put a smile on your face.  Don't say: "it's just food."  Don't say: "I don't have time to be creative."  Place the takeout on the plate so it looks good to eat. You might be surprised at how interesting you can make the food look.

Being creative with food is another way to enjoy your life.  Don't take food for granted.  Don't treat it as just nourishment. Try learning how to cook.  You don't have to become a chef.  Just the fact you tried will make you happy.  Don't just slap the food on a plate, eat it in five minutes and sit and watch TV. 

What I'm trying to get across is that everything and anything you do in life is an opportunity to enrich your happiness.  Going through life unconscious, even about food, is no way to get what you want - which is a happy life.  You should take a look at even the little things you do every day and see the happiness opportunity in them.

Look at food as an opportunity not nourishment.  If you're on a strict diet, you can still make the food look interesting.  If you're young, you might not understand what I'm talking about.  However, I assure you, when you get older you will realize what an opportunity you passed up by just throwing the food, you ate, down your throat and not appreciating its role in happiness. 
When my wife and I go to Vegas there are three kinds of entertainment we love.  Gambling, shows and food.  Those three things make us happy.  Soon we're going to Paris and one of the things we're looking forward to is the great food.  

Food can make you happy if you pay attention to it.  Don't let food be the unforgotten ingredient in your life's goal to happiness.  

You deserve all the little things in life that could make you happy.  Food should be one of those things.

I'm Calling Bullshit

Yesterday friends of mine invited another friend to meet at a bar.  The friend sent a txt back saying: "I was at that bar earlier in the week and it's hot."  I'm calling bullshit!  First, I know he was at the bar earlier in the week, but he didn't drive the thirty minutes.  Second, it's hot all over southern California.  It's hot no matter what bar he goes to.  Lastly, what does hot have to do with it?  He gets into an air-conditioned car, drives to the bar, valet's the car and walks eight steps into the air-conditioned bar.

Why not just say: "I love you guys, but I don't feel like driving that far tonight.  I'll see you soon."  Simple answer, easy to understand and not bullshit.

A friend buys a fairly expensive dress, puts it on and asks you how does she look.  You say: it's nice."  or you say:  "I'm really not the right person to ask.  What do I know about expensive dresses."  I'm calling bullshit!  She looks horrible in that dress.  Why not say: "Hay girl, that dress makes your butt look you stuffed a sandbag down your panties."  Or you could be nicer and say: "you really don't look very good in that dress.  I'd take it back and get something better for less money."

Simple answer, easy to understand and not bullshit.

You go to an expensive restaurant and order the Chef Special.  It tastes like unseasoned mush.  It looks good, but it's tasteless.  The Chef comes over and asks: "how is your meal."  With a blank face you say: "it's nice."  I'm calling bullshit!  It's not nice.  It's not even good.  It's costing you a lot of money.  You're the customer.  

Why not say: "Chef thanks for stopping over.  Your food presentation is great, but my meal is bland and really not worthy of this great restaurant.  I'm sure the other menu items are fantastic, but  tonight's Chef Special is not very good."  

Now, you could have said: "Chef this meal sucks and I want my money back."  That's very direct, but the Chef is not your friend and it's not necessary to be so blunt to get your message across.  However, it is important to tell the Chef the truth - not bullshit.

Why do we play nice and not say what we really feel?  Why doesn't the person who you're giving your bullshit response, just say: "I'm calling bullshit!"  "I know you don't want to drive to the bar.  It's OK, another time."  "I'm calling bullshit!"  "I can see in your face you don't like my new dress.  Why not just say so - I'll still love you."  "I'm calling bullshit!"  "The fact you have hardly eaten your meal tells me you don't like it.  Why not just tell me what you think it's missing.  That way I can choose if I want to fix it so other customers don't get a bad meal.  Also, if you just said so, I would get you something else to eat."

Our answer is: "I don't want to hurt the person's feeling."  Again, I'm calling bullshit!  Giving a person honest feedback is the right thing to do.  It's information they need.  You have the power to say it in a way that won't get them to be defensive.  If they're a close friend, just tell them like it is - they'll still be your friend.

Saying you didn't want to hurt their feelings, is really about you being concerned they won't like you anymore.  Not wanting to create conflict is you not being secure enough to share your true feelings.  You know your friend will not leave you.  Even if they get pissed off because you said something they didn't want to hear, they will still be your friend.  If they do stop being your friend, they maybe it wasn't the friendship you thought it was.

Why do you care if you piss off the Chef?  You're the customer.  You're the one spending your hard earned money.  They won't throw you out of the restaurant.  They won't cause a scene.  The worst that will happen is they'll either make you something else or give you back your money.  Even if they don't do that, you'll just write it off as a bad experience and never go back again.

What's most important is you don't get the reputation of being a bullshitter. You not getting away with anything.  They know you're not telling them the truth.  They're not calling bullshit for the same reasons you're giving them bullshit.  

Stop the cycle today.  Tell the truth in a way that's not offensive.  Tell the truth in a way that they can hear you.  Telling the truth will set you free.  Telling the truth will get you to like yourself even more.  Liking yourself more is a big step to happiness.

Not telling the truth will create a negative inside yourself and it won't fool the person you're bullshitting.  They'll respect you more if you tell them the truth.  Respect is another major goal to happiness.

To the people who can't live with themselves unless they say something they don't really believe, I say:

I'm Calling Bullshit!!!

What Are They Afraid Of

What are they afraid of?  Well, first, who are they?  "They" are ordinary people, rich and poor, religious and not, people of the world, all colors, all faiths, the Church and many other organizations and even Chick-fil-A restaurant's President.

Are they afraid that everyone will become gay and the human race will eventually end because nobody will have babies?  Any intelligent person knows that won't ever happen.  The worst case is, if that happened, gay guys would make babies with gay women.  There are gay people now married and having babies.  Sooo, if anyone is afraid of that happening, they need a mental health specialist.

Are they afraid gay people will make them and their children gay?  I don't know of one gay organization dedicated to doing so.  There are organizations that want to bring down the government.  There are organizations that want to eliminate all people who are not white.  There are organizations who want to destroy the Jews, the Muslims and the gays.  However, I don't know of any gay organizations or groups of gay people who want everyone else to be gay.

Are they afraid that gay people will rape and plunder them?  There are approximately 208,000 rapes a year.  Much less than 1% are caused by a gay person.  There are hundreds of thousands of crimes each year.  Gays represent a very tiny number.  However, crimes against gays are far higher than the number of crimes perpetrated by gays.

Are they afraid that God will strike then down if they accept and support gays and gay marriage.  The Church says yes because the Bible tells them so.  If you believe the Bible is the message from God then please think about how it was written.  It didn't show up in book form out of the blue.  It wasn't etched in stone.  Holly people received a message from God and wrote it down.

Holly people are wonderful, but they are human.  Maybe they got the message wrong.  Maybe their fathers and mothers were afraid of gay people.  Maybe gays having sex discussed them.  The one thing I do know is these holly people were not gay.  If they were, maybe, just maybe, the message from God would have been written differently.

Are they afraid that every guy will start wearing leather or dress up in woman's clothing and wear make-up?  OK, work with me here, I'm just trying my best to figure out what the hell they're afraid of.  You do know that heterosexual men's cosmetic face and skin products are a fast growing market.

I know some of the gay community look different.  Some of the women look like men and some of the men look like women.  However, is that something to be afraid of?  I know thinking about two men having sex is not something I want to visualize.  However, two women having sex, now that's a different story.  

The facts are, gay people are just like us.  They work just like us.  They worry about finances just like us.  They fall in love just like us. They have gay and not gay friendships just like some of us. They have bad days and good days just like us. They adopt children just like us.  They love their children just like us.  They try their best to make a happy life for their children just like us.  Most of all, just like us, they want to have a happy life.

Do you really believe if they marry, your life will be worse?  Do you really believe if they marry, the Church will go under?  Do you really believe if they marry, your children and their children will grow up in a demon world?  Do you really believe if they marry the United States and the rest of the world will fall apart?  Come on, you know the answer to these questions is NO!

Sooo, what the hell are they afraid of.  I really don't know and I'm not sure they know.  I have never heard anyone give me a specific reason as to why being gay is wrong.  Saying the Bible says so, is leaving all your decisions to a book.  Saying it's just not right, is not an intelligent answer.  Saying that's the way I was brought up, is giving control of your life to the past.  Saying it discuss me, is saying you have no incite as to how you feel about things.

Probably many of my readers have no problem with gay people, but know people who do.  Probably some of my readers have no problem with gay marriage, however those who do, please ask yourself: "what am I afraid of?" "What's the worst that can happen?"  "Will anybody who loves me stop loving me?"  Will my journey to happiness crumble?"  

Being afraid of gays, Muslims, etc. etc. is no way to live your life.  Unless you have a really good reason, don't let fear of anybody make you unhappy. 

Loving Unconditionally Is An Important Way To Live A Life Of Happiness.