You Cannot Teach Life You Can Only Learn Life

 You Cannot Teach Life - You Can Only Learn Life

I'm on my way, with my friend Ivan, to see the Van Gogh Exposition on the Las Vegas strip. We're talking about our kids, when he says: "You Cannot Teach Life - You Can Only Learn Life." I asked him where he heard that saying. He said it's what he has been telling his son. I thought about it a moment, then said: "that is so smart and so right."

A French teacher doesn't really teach French, she helps you learn French. Once learned, the best way to use that learning is to go to France and talk to the people. By being there, you can learn so much about the French and their culture.

As parents we try to teach our Kids about life. We want them to be good people. We want them to be financially secure. We want them to have great relationships. We want them to be happy. The problem with all that is, nothing we say will ever teach them those things. They have go out on their own and learn those things (and many more things).

It's frustrating when they fail. It's frustrating when they make mistakes. It's frustrating when they seem unhappy. That frustration makes us want to teach them how - it just almost never works. 

"When I was your age, I did...." Well, the fact is you did... because you learned how to do... The only way your kids are going to learn how to do... is by doing... and learning from it. That learning may take learning from mistakes, failure and or going through unhappy times. My life is a testament to those facts.

It's hard to see them go through the trials and efforts of life. However, it's so interesting to see them make a life for themselves. It may not be the life you wanted for them, but, good or bad, it's their life and whatever they do with what they've learned is the life they decided to live. 

Sooo, encourage the people you love to learn from living life not from reading about life in books or teachers (including yourself) who try to teach them what life is all about.

What Makes A Job Stressful - You May Be Surprised

 What Makes A Job Stressful - You May Be Surprised?

Almost all jobs have some level of stress. BTW, most think the definition of a job is working for a public company or a person that runs his/her own company or a person that works for a private company (especially a small business). Well, what about a house spouse (especially if they have small children)? What about a consultant? What about a 1099 person that is not an employee? 

I could go on and on, but these people have the same additional stress problems that I'm about to share with you in this blog and what you can do about it.

Incremental Stressors

* A need to make money.

* A need to make more and more money.

* A need to make more and more money because the family wants to live better and have more stuff.

* A need be successful, be recognized, be respected and to feel good enough.

All of these stressors add to the normal stress of a job. Sooo, let's discuss all of them and what you can do to minimize those addition al stressors.

* A need to make money. 

This is the most stressful of my list. My dad liked his job running a very small sandwich store. However, being the only income provider and having to make enough money for us to have food on the table, made his job very stressful. What if he got sick or his back went out (I got my bad back from his DNA)? A month or more off from work would have a significant effect on the family.

I wish I had a solution for this stressor, but I don't. I feel sad for people who find themselves in that situation.

* A need to make more and more money. 

Everyone wants to have more money. That's the democratic way. However, many people are addicted to making more money. The definition of addition is you will never have enough. Whatever reason, these people will live their lives in stress and are willing to trade happiness for more money. 

The solution is seeing a therapist to figure out when enough is enough.

* A need to make more and more money because the family wants to live better and have more stuff. 

In my first marriage I lived with a wife and her family who wanted the good life at the expense of my life. That put a lot of stress on me. I grew up poor and money and more stuff was not on my agenda. I worked my ass off to give them more stuff and social status. 

The solution is simple, just say no. At that time, I wasn't able to just say no, sooo, my solution was divorce which made the stress even worse. After therapy, I became strong enough mentally to never allow anyone to dictate me to do what "they" want. If I have stress, it's to my making.

* A need be successful, be recognized, be respected and to feel good enough.

Too many people add stress to their lives by making these a need instead of a desire. Who doesn't want to have these things in their lives? My big one (based on how I grew up) is to feel good enough. However, making these a need will make you do things, that are stressful, that you wouldn't do if these were a desire.

The solution is to love yourself just as you are. The solution is to have friends and family that love you just as you are. The solution is never let the outside world determine your success, your recognition, your respect and your feeling of good enough. No matter what you have accomplished in life, you are successful, you are recognized, you are respected and you are good enough. 

If "You" Believe That, "You" Will Be Happy The Rest Of Your Life.