You Don't Know Me

You Don't Know Me

One of the best things about getting older is you become more comfortable letting your guard down. If you've been reading my blogs you know a great deal about me - how I think and how I act. However, even though you know a lot about me - You Don't Know Me.

I would say my wife knows me best, but there is so much going on inside me that even she Doesn't Know Me. As a matter of fact, as much as I want to believe I know everything about me, even I Don't Know Me.

I have friends and loved ones, but I can't say I Know Them. I know enough about them to care for them and share my feelings with them, but again, none of them Know Me. I want to tell them more, but it's hard because so many things about me are bottled up inside.

All people have some level of barriers. They create those barriers to protect themselves and trick themselves into believing they are protecting their friends and family by not sharing. The fact of the matter is they are really keeping things inside because letting those things out hurts.

I'm much more open than most and I wish they were more open with themselves. It would make it so much easier for me to open up if they opened up. However, the fact is we live in a world of relationships where they Don't Know Me and I Don't Know Them.

I'll bet you believe you Know Yourself. The issue is we don't take the time to look deep inside to really get to Know Ourselves. We tend to keep everything on the surface until the day comes when an event happens that awakens us to realize much more about ourselves.

That even could be how we react to an accident. That event could be how we react to a love lost. That event could be how we react to facing death. I could go on and on, but we will never truly Know Ourselves (good or bad) until that event happens.

I believe, we Human Beings, would be much better off if everyone shared how they think, act and feel. It's probably too scary for that to ever happen, but I want to believe more good would come out of it than bad.

Can you imagine what life would be like if you told your best friend what to like and don't like about them? Can you imagine what you would feel like if they told you what they like and don't like about YOU? In my opinion it would make for a much better and closer relationship.

Can you imagine what life would be like if you shared your deepest and darkest secret with the people you trust? Can you imagine what life would be like if they did the same with YOU? In my opinion getting those things off your chest would bring everyone closer together.

Sooo, I'm going to do my best to be honest with my friends and family. I'm going to do my best to share my deepest feeling with my Blog people and the outside world. It may come back to haunt me, but I want everyone (including myself) to;

Know Me

When Was The Last Time You Tried Something New

When Was The Last Time You Tried Something New

We are creatures of habit. Doing the same thing day in and day out makes us comfortable. Doing the known is much less scary than doing the unknown. A friend of mine, Mike Bemiss, wrote a preamble in my first book, "Never Buy A Hat IF Your Feet Are Cold - Taking Charge Of Your Career And Your Life," that stated: 

Beware The Known

It's not the UNKNOWN that we must fear. As children, everything was unknown. But, as we get older, we start to build walls around ourselves, at the limit of what we KNOW. We build the walls of our own jails, with fear of failing at doing something UNKNOWN.

Too soon, we build a castle of security around ourselves. It has no doors, and few windows...it's the KNOWN. We live and die in there, with only an occasional timid peek out of a high window, at the UNKNOWN.

We build the walls of our KNOWN so high, that we cannot escape - and our souls wither and die for the lack of new experiences.

I refuse to build that wall. Each stone I would use to build it, I'll use instead as a stepping stone into a new and different UNKNOWN. And when I die, as we all do eventually, my only regret will be that I never got to discover that next UNKNOWN just over the horizon.

I appreciate the KNOWN. But I refuse to be limited by it. It can be a trap - if you let it - and you will never experience the next UNKNOWN - and that is the most special UNKNOWN of all,

The Next One

WOW, doesn't that say a lot - thank you Mike. I grew up in a "KNOWN" family. The most new thing we did was go to Atlantic City every other year. When my parents went to eat Chinese food they would both order the same thing - Shrimps in Lobster Sauce. 

I would ask them why didn't they try something new and their answer was: "we KNOW Shrimps in Lobster Sauce is good and the many other things on the menu might not be as good. We like to stick with the KNOWN.

I do have my routine, but because of my fear of being like my parents, I have always pushed myself to try new things. They could be business things or personal things. Just one example was, I changed my computer programmer job and went into sales. That first year scared the crap out of me and I would get hives. However, I lived and did well in sales.

I truly believe my life has been enriched by trying new things. They don't always work out the way I had hoped, but at least I can avoid saying "I should have tried that out.

Sooo, look at your life. Enjoy the KNOWN, but ask yourself:

When Was The Last Time I Tried Something New

It Makes My Heart Hurt, But She's "My Girl" Update

It Makes My Heart Hurt, But She's "My Girl"
update

Today, March 3rd 2017, is a very sad day in my and my wife's life. Our beloved dog Zita lost function in our back legs. We sadly had no choice but to send her wonderful positive energy out to the Universe. 

With tears in our eyes, I've decided to resend a post I wrote months ago knowing that this day would come. We loved her and she loved us for over 13 years. Life goes on, but it just won't be the same without her. 

If you have a loved one that you feel the same the way we felt about Zita, hug, kiss and love him or her right now, because this day will come like it or not.

Please read the Blog I wrote a few months ago:


Below are the first lines of the Temptations song "My Girl"

I've got sunshine on a cloudy day
When it's cold outside
I've got the month of May
I guess you'll say
What can make me feel this way
My girl (my girl, my girl)
Talking about my girl (my girl)

I have two girls in my family. My beautiful and fabulous wife and my loving dog Zita. If you've been reading my blogs you know how much I appreciate my wife. However, I haven't said much about Zita. Zita is thirteen years old. For a sixty pound dog, that's around ninety human years.

Like most ninety year old people, Zita doesn't hear well, her sense of smell is diminished and she has two arthritic hips. Getting up and down steps in our house is a struggle for her. I just can't tell you how sad it is for my wife and I to watch her struggle. It Makes My Heart Hurt, But She's "My Girl."

At this age she is more loving than ever. I guess she knows she needs us more now than when she was younger. We took her off the street and when she was younger she was very independent. Now, she hugs us all the time. On one hand we love hugging her back. On the other hand we know she knows the end is near. It Makes My Heart Hurt, But She's "My Girl."

My wife and I made a pact that we would never allow her to suffer just to keep her alive. At her age, putting her through a hip operation is not acceptable. Sooo, we watch her struggle to get up our many stairs. She still is able to get there, but slowly, very slowly. It takes both my wife and me to help her get into the car when we take her to the Vet.  It Makes My Heart Hurt, But She's "My Girl."

We love her and she loves us. We appreciate her and she appreciates us. We know the day is soon so we treat her with the same dignity and respect we gave my eighty nine year old mother. 

We remember all the good times we've had with her. Just the other day we laughed with our cousin who Zita bit in the ass when she first met her. We remember how she fit in with everyone at our house parties - they loved giving her treats. Even today she smiles when we tell her we're having a party and many humans are coming over.

We hope we'll have her for one or two more years, but we're realistic.

It Makes My Heart Hurt, But She's "My Girl."   

Election Depression

Election Depression

For those of you who are depressed over the election, I feel your pain. I immediately decided to do two things. One double up my dose of Paxil and two stop reading anything being said regarding Trumps win.

I always want to see the world as it could be, not what it is. I love America. I believe in the goodness of the American people. I also strongly believe "what goes around will come around." I have always said in my blogs that no one person will be able to bring America down even if that person is the President.

There have been a lot of negative statements from Trump about what he will do as President. I say, let's not get depressed until he tries to do them. Remember, there is a Congress that has to agree with him and wants to keep their jobs. Just because the election is over, we the depressed still have a say on how this country will be run.

Two years seems like a long time, but in two years most of the Congress seats will be up for grabs. The Tea Party proved what they could do in that second year election - they turned the House majority to the right. If Trump and this Congress do the things we fear they will do, we the depressed will vote them out of office and Trump won't be able to screw any more things up.

To keep myself sane, I want to believe Congress won't let him do many the the things he said he would do. Mexico will not build a wall with their own money. The Republican Party wants the deficit to go down. Therefore, they will not let him spent money; we don't have, to build his wall.

Trump wants to deport illegals. I want to believe this Congress will find a more humane solution. It will probably not be exactly what we depressed want it to be, but it won't be as bad as his right wing, things he said to get elected, statements.

Women are a powerful political block. They also represent huge numbers of votes. I want to believe Congress will not let Trump do bad things to women and that includes taking away their right to choose. If I'm wrong, we the depressed will throw out this Congress two years from now.

Trump is a business man. He does a lot of business overseas. He talks about getting better deals which I, as one of the depressed, believe is a good thing. My hope is he doesn't let his ego get in the way and piss off other Heads of State. I want to believe he won't.

The Russians think they now have a friend in Trump. I choose to not believe that. When he gets debriefed by the Foreign Relations Committee, he will realize they are not our friends and if anything he may put more clamps on them then Obama has already done.

Trump says he wants to get out of the Iran deal. I don't agree with most of what he is for, but I do agree with his position regarding Iran. Iran hates America. Doing a deal with somebody you can't trust will eventually become a bad deal.

In my opinion the scariest things he will try to accomplish is putting in a Conservative right wing Supreme Court Justice, changing laws regarding LGBT rights and his belief that Global Warming does not exist.

If Congress elects a Supreme Court Justice that helps overturn "Roe Vs. Wade" and other women's rights and the rights of the LGBT community, the streets will be full of protesters. Currently, seventy percent of Americans believe in women's and Gay rights. We the depressed will rise up and fight. I want to believe Congress knows this will happen and knows they will have no chance to keep control in the mid-term election. 

I know four years is a long time, but if we somehow can't change Congress in two years we the depressed will surely replace Trump in four years.

Regarding Global Warming, even if Trump doesn't believe it exists, as a business man he sees the potential of making America independent of fossil fuel. He sees the massive job growth potential of going green. I want to believe he will do the right thing regarding Global Warming (probably because he already has money invested in green companies).

Sooo, yes I'm depressed now. However, with my strong belief in America and the American people, I'm going to get over my depression tomorrow and wait and see how it all plays out.

My glass is always half full and I choose to believe:

We Will Survive President Trump

Wednesday Can't Come Soon Enough

Wednesday Can't Come Soon Enough

Today is Monday November 7th, 2016 the day before Tuesday November 8th and then Wednesday the day after Tuesday. I'm so looking forward to Wednesday when all the noise will be gone. 

I like reading the newspaper. I like reading the news on my computer or tablet. I like watching TV. However, these last few weeks have made the things I like to read or watch so painful I'm so looking forward to Wednesday.

Wednesday is the day we will find out who wins and who loses. Wednesday will be the day when we'll know the outcome of the zillion California Propositions. Wednesday will be the day when the noise will stop.

We could probably pay to put a human on mars with the many, many millions that have been spent to convince us which candidate to vote for. We could probably cure cancer with the many, many millions spent to convince us which proposition is good for us. Wednesday is the day the many, many millions stops.

I am so done with the attack ads from both candidates. I am so done with "NO" on this proposition and "YES" on the same proposition. I am just DONE! Wednesday is when the pain of round the clock noise stops.

By Thursday we can get back to the normal negative news. It's almost a relief to read or watch who shot who. It's almost a relief to read or watch a bus and a car smashing into each other. It's almost a relief to read or watch which Muslim town had more Civilian casualties. You know I'm just kidding, but this election's noise has been almost as painful.

As for me:

Wednesday Can't Come Soon Enough

It's A Look

It's A Look

"I would rather look good than feel good"   Ricardo Montalbán

Born November 25, 1920 – January 14, 2009) was a Mexican radio, television, theater and film actor. He had a career spanning seven decades (motion pictures from 1943 to 2006) and many notable roles. During the mid-1970s, Montalbán was notable as the spokesman in automobile advertisements for the Chrysler Cordoba, in which he famously extolled the "soft Corinthian leather" used for its interior. He became famous as Mr. Roarke the main star in the television seriesFantasy Island. He played in the 1982 film Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. He won an Emmy Award in 1978 for his role in the miniseries How the West Was Won^[2] and a Lifetime Achievement Award from the Screen Actors Guild in 1993. Into his 80s, he continued to perform, often providing voices for animated films and commercials, and appearing in several Spy Kids films as "Grandfather Valentin".

I'm sure Ricardo Montalbán was joking, but his in front of the camera persona would make you believe he was telling the truth.  He always looked fantastic even when he was eighty.  Dressed to the hilt.  Beautiful with perfect hair and his accent just made his physical being look even better.

What's really interesting is, I've come across people (men and women) who would make the same statement.  How they look is critical to their self worth and their self being.

What I've also found in my many years of people watching is, more than seventy five percent of people have a look.  I assume it must be how they see themselves.  Some look like they're still living in the fifties.  Some look like they stared in the seventies movie "Disco Fever."  Some have purple hair.  Some wear their pants so low you can see the crack in their ass.

Starting today, do some people watching.  It's a lot of fun.  When my wife points someone out to me I always say to her "It's a look."  What I mean is, even if I believe they look ridiculous, it's their look.  It's how they want the outside world to see them.  Judging them is wrong.  Enjoying their personal statement is right.

Steve Jobs had a look - tee shirt, jeans and a sports jacket.  Johnny Cash had a look - black.  Phyllis Diller had a look - wild.  Hitler had a look - and it wasn't pretty.  I could go on and on, but you get the idea.  Take a step back and enjoy their look - it's fun.

Judging other people's look is wrong.  What I mean is, seeing someone and saying: "look at him - he must be gay."  "Look at the way she's dressed - she must be a hooker."  Judging without even knowing a person is wrong, wrong and more wrong.

I love bright colors.  I wear red sneakers.  I have a pair of blue and brown glasses and a pair of red and black glasses.  Does that mean I'm gay?  Not that there's anything wrong with that, but my wife would disagree. 

My wife's look is always a beautiful lady.  Even in jeans, she makes sure she looks beautiful. My look is anything that makes her happy.  I don't really care so I let her pick out my clothes.  I do want to look good and she helps me look great.  My friend Kenny didn't have a look until he let his hair grow very long.  Now that's his look.  We hate it, but it's his look.

I do have a problem with people who will do major things to their body to get a look.  Going from a 32 bust to a 38 bust via plastic surgery is a look, but at what price.  It's not just the money.  You'll have a bad back the rest of your life and when you get old those balloons will really look terrible.  Getting surgery so you look better in clothes, doesn't work for me.  How about finding clothes that make you look good just the way you are.

Doing cosmetic surgery so you keep looking younger is something I can live with as long as you don't get addicted to it.  All of us have seen people who did too much and now they don't look natural.  I look at cosmetic surgery this way:

• Will the surgery make me sexier to my wife?
•  Will my friends love me more if I have the surgery?
• Will I hit the lottery if I have surgery?
• Will I write or play the guitar better if I have surgery?
• Will I like myself better if I have the surgery?
• Can I stand seeing that old guy in the mirror?

In my case the answer to all but the last one is NO!  The last one "can I stand seeing that old guy in the mirror" is yes.  The reason is, when I look in the mirror I see my eyes.  What my eyes look like is "Kenny from South Philly" - young at heart and full of life.  Therefore, there isn't any cosmetic surgery in my future.

What's your look?  If you don't have one, think about getting one.  Don't do it for "them," do it for you.  Don't think about how they will see and judge you - think about how you want them to see you.  It's your look and nobody can take it away from you.  If they don't like it - who gives a shit.  

Please remember, beauty is in the mind of the beholder.  See beauty in as many things as you can.  If someone you know completely changes their look and your first reaction is you don't approve, slap yourself upside your head and say:

It's A Look"