Strong relationships are what make for a happy life

 

Strong relationships are what make for a happy life

 

In 1938, researchers at Harvard set out to learn what makes a person thrive. They recruited 724 participants, a combination of students at Harvard College and low-income teenage boys in Boston. All were willing to let the researchers track their lives, from childhood troubles to first loves to final days. Now, 85 years later, the Harvard Study of Adult Development has expanded to three generations and more than 1,300 descendants of the original subjects; it is, according to the researchers, the longest-running in-depth study on human happiness in the world. From all the data, one very clear finding has emerged: Strong relationships are what make for a happy life. More than wealth, I.Q. or social class, it’s the robustness of our bonds that most determines whether we feel fulfilled.

People in isolation are usually unhappy people. People who know others but never get to know or share their feelings are not getting all the happiness they deserve. People who get to share friendship, love and affection with others and get that love back, are usually happy people.

How do you get strong relations with others - get rid of your barriers. Barriers hold you back from sharing your true feelings. You put up barriers - they put up barriers. I know it can be scary, but what do you have to lose? I promise, nobody will send you to North Korea. 

Another way to get Strong Relationships is to love, cherish and appreciate the friendships you have now. Don't take those relationships for granted. You make the first call. You be the first one to say I appreciate you. You be the one to say: "I Love You."

Lastly, don't have relationships with friends, family, lovers and spouses who don't give you back your love or appreciation. A friendship, a lover or a spouse who has put up barriers and doesn't, have it in them, to give you back what you give them will never make you happy.

The problem with this World is there's not enough love going on. Remember the Beatles song - "All You Need Is Love." There are people who will love you. Put yourself out to find them and when you do, give them all the friendship, love and affection you have in you.

The Who

The Who

I watch old CSI New York almost every night. The lead-in song is"

"Baba O'Riley 

 By The Who"

The lyrics I like the most are:

"I don't need to fight

To prove I'm right

I don't need to be forgiven"

I feel that way - do you? It all comes down to how you feel about yourself. If you love yourself, trust yourself and can stand-up to those who try to bring you down, then:

"You don't need to fight

To prove your right

You don't need to be forgiven"

When someone says something you don't agree with or they call you out on something you did (that you had good reasons to do at that time), do you defend yourself to the death or do you say: "that's your opinion - I have a different opinion." If you say the latter, then:

"You don't need to fight

To prove your right

You don't need to be forgiven"

Do you get upset, angry or even pissed-off when others challenge you? If so, do you feel the need to attack back? If you do so, you're insecure. However, if you believe in yourself and know you are a good person and a trusted person with a great moral compass, then:

"You don't need to fight

To prove your right

You don't need to be forgiven"

Optimism

 Optimism

My many, many blogs have been about Happiness The Forgotten Ingredient In Life. The fact is you can never be truly happy if you're a pessimist. Some say it's too hard to be Optimistic in this negative world. I'm calling Bullshit!

Happy people are mostly Optimistic. People want to hang out with Optimistic people. Optimistic people are mostly happy. The only people who like to hang out with a pessimist are depressed people. Some will say my wanting to be an Optimist all the time is not realistic and bullshit.

Well, I just read an article that says: "studies link optimism to reduced risks and longevity." Below are excerpts from this study.

" When you think about the future do you expect good or bad things to happen? If you weigh in on the good side, you're an Optimist and that has implications for your health in later life.

Multiple studies show a strong association between higher levels of Optimism and a reduced risk of conditions such as heart disease, stroke and cognitive impairment. 

Several studies have also linked Optimism with greater longevity. One published this past year comes from researchers who found that older women who scored highest on measures of Optimism lived 4.4 years longer, on average than those with the lowest scores.

Expert explanations: People who are Optimist cope better with the challenges of daily life and are less likely to experience stress than people with less positive attitudes. They are more likely to eat well and exercise and have stronger networks of family and friends.

Also, people who are Optimist tend to engage more effectively in problem-solving strategies and better regulate their emotions."

Sooo, as Uncle Charles always said:

Always Make Something Good Out Of Something Bad

Dear Abby

 Dear Abby

I read Dear Abby every day. Most of the people who post there are not happy about something. New Years day, Abby wrote resolutions which were adapted from her late mother:

JUST FOR TODAY 

I will live through THIS DAY ONLY. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow.

JUST FOR TODAY

I will decide to be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me.

JUST FOR TODAY

I will accept what is. I will correct and accept those I can correct and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY

I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

JUST FOR TODAY

I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path.

JUST FOR TODAY

I will do something positive to improve my health.

JUST FOR TODAY

I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.

I guarantee you will be a happier person if you live your life with these resolutions,

NOT JUST FOR TODAY BUT EVERYDAY