Gambling Verses Risk Taking

Gambling Verses Risk Taking

Is gambling and risk taking one and the same? In some way yes and in some ways no. Gambling can be entertainment. Risk taking is never entertainment. Gambling everything you have on a single roll of the dice is risk taking without a safety net. Gambling can be fun and make you happy. Risk taking might be necessary for you to create the happy life you deserve. Gambling can be a moment in time. Risk taking could be life changing.


Gambling on someone or something might go well only if you can afford to lose. Gambling on a horse should be fun. Gambling that your friend will get the girl should be fun for the both of you. Taking a risk on someone or something is taking control away from you and should only be done if you have a back-up plan.


My wife and I gamble in Las Vegas about every two months. To us it's fun entertainment. We come to Vegas with a fixed amount of money to spend every day we are there. Once we spend that daily money we stop and do other things. We play penny slots so our daily money lasts longer. We decide if we want to spend $300 to see a show or use that money on the slots. Either way, we make sure we have money in our pocket when we leave Las Vegas.


We would never consider gambling more than we can afford in Vegas. Nor would we consider spending more money when we are down with the hope of getting it all back and then some. We know the Casinos would not be able to build these fantastic structures and give away free rooms, slot credits and car services unless they were making a shit load of money on people like us.


On the other hand, both my wife and I have taken life changing risks. We weren't gambling on whether those risks would turn out great. We took those risks because we weren't happy and knew we had to make serious changes in our lives to have any chance of having a happy life. Those risks had very painful consequences. However, we knew that if we didn't take them, we would regret it and become those people who spend their lives saying: "I shoulda or I coulda." In time those risks helped make us the happy people we are today.


Gambling has been a fun moment in time for us. We gamble on football every week. We risk losing $30 a week to each other. I started doing this with my wife three years ago. I wanted her to be more involved with football because I love it so much. I knew that having money on the line would invigorate her competitive spirit. At the end of the third year she owed me $100. At the end of the second year we played to even. At the end of the third year I owed her $105.


She now is a football guru. She studies all the teams and knows more about football than most macho men. When the games are on she screams when the team she bet on does something wrong. She gets pissed off when she loses and elated when she beats me (which is most of the time now). Gambling has done three things for her. One, she now loves football. Two, she is having fun every week for the many months football is playing. Three, she's taking my money which makes her even happier.


Sooo, make gambling a fun experience for you. Don't worry about becoming addicted. If it stops being fun, stop! Don't let others (or religion) convince you to avoid having fun gambling. Trust yourself that you are in control of your happiness and that gambling is just another way to have fun.


Risk taking is a very different animal. You need to think it through before you act. You need to have a plan "B" before you act. You need to balance the risk with the reward. You need to believe you will survive even if it all goes to shit. Remember these words you've heard from me before:

Risk taking can change your life for the better or the worse, but never taking a risk is half a life!

What If

What If

What if you were filthy rich? What if you were a high level thief? What if you were a famous movie star? What if you were a professional athlete? What if you ran a major high tech company? What if you were a priest? What if you were retired? What if you were 18 again? What if you were a famous author? What if you were a CIA agent? What if you were a sports agent? What if you were a battleship commander? What if you were a leisure cruise line captain? What if you were a teacher? What if you were a physiatrist? What if you were the President?


Happiness is your overall goal in life. Happiness can also be a moment in time. Since you're in control of your happiness, why not take a few moments of your day or week and enjoy a "what if?" That's right, lay back, close your eyes and enjoy 20 minutes of your favorite "what if." At a minimum those 20 minutes will put a smile on your face.


Having a bad day at work, "what if" a job that would turn a bad day into a happy 20 minutes. It's possible to "what if" your way into the thing you love the most. I can't be 18 again, but I do "what if" being a famous author. Because that's one of my favorite things to be, I started writing books. So far, they haven't made me famous, but if I keep trying, one of my books might hit a home run and I would meet my "what if."


I'm not rich, but I do buy a lottery ticket every week. Since being able to do some of the fun things that being rich would allow me to do (like helping my friends and family), I lay back, close my eyes and "what if" I hit the lottery. I know the odds are really bad, but it could happen. Even if it never happens, those 20 "what if" minutes are worth every dollar I spend on lottery tickets.


When I was 40 years old I would "what if" being retired. By doing so, not only did it put a smile on my face, it also prepared me for my retired "what if." Now I'm retired and doing everything I wanted to do in my 20 minute "what if" sessions.


"What ifing" is good for you! It gives you that moment in your life where you can be anything you want to be. It helps you get to a life of happiness. It allows you to step out of this world for a brief 20 minutes and be in your fantasy world. Guess what, if you "what if" enough and take action on your "what if," you just might be able to make your fantasy world a reality.

Sooo, what's stopping you? Tonight before you fall asleep, "what if" yourself into 20 minutes of happiness!

Faith

Faith

faith noun

: strong belief or trust in someone or something
: belief in the existence of God : strong religious feelings or beliefs

: a system of religious beliefs

 

CloseStyle: MLA APA Chicago

Full Definition of FAITH

1

a :  allegiance to duty or a person :  loyalty

b (1) :  fidelity to one's promises (2) :  sincerity of intentions

2

a (1) :  belief and trust in and loyalty to God (2) :  belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion

b (1) :  firm belief in something for which there is no proof (2) :  complete trust

3

:  something that is believed especially with strong conviction; especially :  a system of religious beliefs <the Protestant faith>

— on faith

:  without question <took everything he said on faith>

Examples of FAITH

1. His supporters have accepted his claims with blind faith.
2. Our faith in the government has been badly shaken by the recent scandals.
3. Lending him the money to start his own business was an act of faith.
4. It requires a giant leap of faith for us to believe that she is telling the truth.
5. Nothing is more important to her than her faith in God.
6. She says that her faith has given her the courage to deal with this tragedy.
7. Faith without doubt leads to moral arrogance, the eternal pratfall of the religiously convinced. —Joe Klein, Time, 17 May 2004
8. Nick wiped at the moustache of sweat droplets that was as much a part of his face as his eyes and nose and gave a shrug that indicated a certain lack of faith in our judgment. —Tom Perrotta, Joe College, 2000
9. But while no one with a grain of sense trusted Miss Stephanie, Jem and I had considerable faith in Miss Maudie. She had never told on us, had never played cat-and-mouse with us, she was not at all interested in our private lives. She was our friend. —Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird, 1960

 

Origin of FAITH

Middle English feith, from Anglo-French feid, fei, from Latin fides; akin to Latin fidere to trust — more at bide

First Known Use: 13th century

Related to FAITH

Synonyms

devotion, piety, religion

Antonyms

atheism, godlessness

Related Words

devoutness, piousness, religiousness; adoration, reverence, veneration, worship; profession, protestation

Near Antonyms

disbelief, doubt, unbelief, unfaith; agnosticism, know-nothingism; apostasy, lapse, tergiversation

Wow, that's a lot of Faith. For those of you who religiously read my blogs, you know I'm not big on religion. This is especially true in the statements on Faith "a firm belief in something for which there is no proof" and "nothing is more important to her than her faith in God."


To give control of my life to something or anything that I have no proof exists is not my way of creating a happy life. To say there is nothing more important in my life than a Faith in God is disregarding my primary premise that positive energy and my happiness is just a little more important than anything else in my life including God (who I never heard, saw or touched).

 

 

 

However, just because I have problems with Faith in regard to religion doesn't mean I don't have Faith. I have Faith in my wife who I know will always be there for me. I have Faith that freedom will eventually win out around the world. I have Faith that even though our Government is all screwed up, they will always find a way to keep America strong both economically and socially. Most important, I have Faith in myself.

 

 

The statement "His supporters have accepted his claims with blind faith" is a bad way to live your life. It's OK to have Faith, but, blind faith means you don't have a contingency plan. As I stated above, I have faith in a lot of things, but even Faith in myself has a Plan B. 

 

 

Just because I have Faith in myself to reach a goal doesn't mean that if that goal is not reached I don't have a way to recover. Contingency planning should be part of your efforts throughout your life. Contingency planning will make you feel safe and secure. It's a lot easier to be a happy person when you feel safe and secure.

 

 

I believe unhappy people are lacking Faith in themselves. The more insecure you are the less Faith you have in yourself. The more angry and frustrated you are with yourself the less Faith you have in yourself. The less risks you take and the fewer decisions you make, the less Faith you have in yourself. The more you need the outside world to make you happy, the less Faith you have in yourself.

 

 

Here are my suggestions:

 

• Don't have blind Faith in anything (including religion) where you don't have a Plan B.
• The only Faith you can completely trust is Faith in yourself. If you believe you don't have that Faith, do the things I have talked about in my blogs and my book "Happiness The Forgotten Ingredient In Life." If that doesn't work, get a Mentor or Therapist, whom you have Faith in, to help you deal with your insecurities.
• List all the things, people, organizations and companies you believe you have Faith in. Stare at the list and be sure you should have Faith in every one of those you've listed. If there is any doubt, take them off the list.

You probably believe I'm being very cynical about Faith. Not true! Having Faith is a good thing, but there is a down side. The more Faith you have in something the less control you have of that something. I have always stated that you have more control of your happiness than you might think.

Don't let too much Faith erode the control you have over your life.

 

 

 

Man's Best Friend

Man's Best Friend

Man's best friend is neither his dog nor any animal. Man's best friend is neither his Mother nor any human being. Man's best friend is fixing something or anything. Men get off on being handy. Even the ones like me who can't fix shit, love it when I fix something. When a man hugs his dog he feels great. However, when a man looks at something he fixed he tingles all over.


I've always joked that my tool chest consisted of nothing other than a Swiss Army Knife. I also joked that the only way a Jew, like me, can fix something is by being best friends with an Italian. Many Jews are good at fixing things like broken companies, financial problems, getting someone out of going to jail, fixing teeth, fixing a bad heart, etc. As long as it's not something mechanical, many Jews can fix it.


Two days ago I fixed a broken rubber flapper in my toilet. I know it's not that big a deal, but when my other best friend, my wife, gave me a kiss because I fixed the flapper without my Italian friend Hank, I glowed all over.


I usually don't do any plumbing or electrical fixing because in the past I made things worse. But, I do try to fix some things and when I get it right I realize the fix was my best friend. I assume it must have something to do with ego. Therefore enhancing my ego via fixing something is my best friend. Some men have big egos (can you spell Donald Trump) and some have small egos. It's not the size of the ego that counts it's the size of the thing they are fixing.


The Donald likes fixing things that make him a lot of money. The bigger the fix, the bigger the money, the bigger his ego. I don't have a big ego (now that I'm retired), but I do get off fixing something that even I didn't think I could fix.


Where men get into big trouble is when they try to fix a woman's problem. When a woman tells a guy she is pissed off at her girlfriend, the guy immediately tries to explain to her how to fix the relationship. The problem is that most women don't want the problem fixed. They like, for now, being pissed off at their friend. When they get over it, in time, the woman will fix it herself.


The more her guy friend tries to fix her the more she gets pissed off. Over my many years with women I realize that when a woman is pissed off (at anything) STAY AWAY! However, guess what, in my need for a fix every once in a while, I shoot my mouth off and try to fix the situation. I know I'm being stupid and I know I'm just going to make things worse, but I can't help myself. Man's best friend needs his fix.


In business, I was considered a fixer. Management kept putting me into jobs that were having trouble. I didn't think about promotion because it made me happier to get the chance to fix a product line, a department and a wholly owned company. Taking a company from losing money to making money in one year was my best friend.


Sooo, you men out there start your fixing engines. Try fixing something that is not a woman. What's the worst that can happen? You'll call a plumber while your bathroom is under water. You'll have to live without lights and TV until the electrician shows up.

Or, you actually might fix the dam thing without an Italian.

And The Winner Is

And The Winner Is

I realize it is way too soon to be talking about the next President in 2016, but when blogs enter my pea brain I have to write about them or I'll go crazy. Just the thought of 2016 blows my mind. All the sci-fi movies of the 50s, 60s, 70, and even the 80s has earth overcome by monsters or robots from another planet by 2012. So I never expected to be talking about 2016. Anyway I digress.


Let's start with the candidates. For the Democrats it simple. Joe Biden, Hillary Rodham Clinton or John Kerry. There might be a long shot in there somewhere, but it's going to be one of those three. Of the three, John Kerry is the smartest, Joe Biden is the most loved and Hillary Clinton is the most probable.


Kerry tried to run many years ago, but wasn't very good at debating. Biden is loved by everyone he meets including most people in Congress. He is like your lovable Grandpa. However, will anybody vote for your Grandpa - I don't think so? Clinton will be able to get the woman and Latino vote, but will have to deal with the baggage that follows her.


Remember, she tried to create a health care bill way before Obamacare and failed. She isn't liked by most Republicans and a few Democrats. She has the stink of the 2012 Benghazi attack. Hillary also has a problem in that she couldn't take more than a few years of being Secretary Of State. Some will say that if she can't last in that job, how the hell will she last in the President's job.


However, I believe she will be the Democratic candidate for President. I also believe her running mate will be John Kerry because he will run after she's done (assuming she wins which is not going to be easy).


The Republican candidates are not so easy to predict. My favorite would be Chris Christie, Governor of New Jersey. He is a slightly right of center Republican and is very well liked. He also tells it like it is and that works for me. However, I have two concerns. One, he is a very big man. Actually, he is a huge man. To me he looks like a heart attack waiting to happen. Two, He's from New Jersey so that means he will have to pick either someone from the south or worse yet, a Tea Party candidate as his running mate.


The other Republican candidates could be Bobby Jindal, Jeb Bush, Mike Huckabee, Rand Paul, Paul Ryan or Marco Rubio. There could be a lot more, but these are the ones I believe have the best chance to run. Sooo, let's take a look at them:


Bobby Jindal is probably the smartest of the bunch. However, he is too thin to run with Christie because he would make Christie look like Sasquatch next to him. To be honest, he is not the best looking guy in the bunch and has very little stage presence.


Jeb Bush is a solid candidate, but would the country really vote for another Bush? His brother did him in years ago. It's unfortunate because of the three Bush's he would make the best President.


Mike Huckabee ran a great campaign before, but that was a time when religion played a significant role in the race to the presidency. I just don't think voters in 2016 will give much weight to someone who will run on a religious platform.


Rand Paul, Paul Ryan and Marco Rubio are all Tea Party candidates and again I don't believe that idealism will be able to get the majority of the Presidential votes. If the economy gets better by 2016, the Tea Party's loud noise will become a small squeak.


OK, so here are my predictions. Hillary Rodham Clinton with John Kerry by her side will run for the Democratic party and Chris Christie with Rand Paul by his side will run for the Republican party. Assuming the economy is in good shape by 2016, Clinton will beat out Christie by a very small margin in both the popular vote and the electoral votes.


Now for the biggest issue, which party will control Congress? If we have the dysfunction we have now it won't matter who wins the Presidential election. I believe both candidates are good enough to run this country. However, if they can't get anything done because of a split Congress it will be sad for all of us.


Government does play a role in our happiness. Although it's not until 2016, it's critical that we all pay attention to who is running and who we vote for.

Even more important is that each and every one of us VOTE!

The Truth Will Set You Free - Maybe

The Truth Will Set You Free - Maybe

On a scale of 1 to 100 what percentage do you score in telling the truth over the last year? On a scale of 1 to 100 what percentage do you score in telling the truth over the last 10 years? On a scale of 1 to 100 what percentage do you score in telling the truth over your entire adult life?


If you rated yourself 100% in all three categories you are either a saint, a major bull shitter or someone that is so out of touch with themselves that you actually believe you always tell the truth. If you rated yourself less than 50% in all three categories you are either a con artist, a contributor to Wikipedia, someone who has never been able to sustain a relationship with anyone, a high level politician or someone who is either in jail or will be there soon.


If I'm honest with myself, I would rate my level of truth at 97% in the last year, 90% in the last 10 years and 70% over my entire adult life. The reason my score is so high in the last 10 years is because, as a retired senior, I have the confidence to tell it like it is. I probably have had a few minor lies by omission, but never looked someone in the face and lied.


However, I can't give myself a better grade than 70% over my adult life. The reason is because in business I was in sales and marketing for a long time. There is no way to be the best in those jobs without telling a few white lies. Even in my Mergers and Acquisition (M&A) job I did some lying by omission to be able to negotiate a good deal for my company.


Lastly, I had two wives and two children. My relationship with my two wives was not very good and telling a few minor lies was the only way to keep the marriage together. Regarding the kids, you have to lie to them when their young because they will feel they're not on stable ground if you don't. Young kids ask a million questions. Some of them if answered correctly would scare the crap out of them.


For example, you wouldn't tell a small child you have breast cancer. You wouldn't tell a small child you might have to give up your house because you're bankrupt. You wouldn't tell a small child he doesn't have the IQ to go to a private school. You wouldn't tell a small child you can't stand his father. I could go on and on, but lying to a child is many times a necessity.


OK, so what are your scores? Are you being honest with yourself? Do you lie to get out of a dinner you don't want to go to? "I can't make your dinner because I got food poisoning yesterday." "I can't drive the 60 miles to your house because I hurt my back yesterday." Do you lie because you don't want to hurt someone's feelings? "You look great in that (ugliest outfit I've ever seen) outfit." "Your new hair cut makes you look younger (even though it's a style from the fifties).


What about your moral compass? Would you lie so you don't have to go to jail? Would you lie so you can get money from a friend? Would you lie to your wife about your six month affair? Would you lie to the IRS to get a bigger refund? Would you lie to a business partner? Would you lie to enhance your ego?


The bottom line is that some lies are necessary, however most lies are not. These little white lies will catch up to you. Once you get into a lie there is no going back. By doing so, your small lie could turn into a bigger and bigger lie to defend the original lie. Telling the truth should be your primary objective. If you feel you have to lie, make sure you understand the ramification to both the other person and yourself.


Truth can set you free. Lying can eat away at you inner core. Knowing you're a liar will impair your happiness. Being caught in a lie will ruin your trust. Sooo, tell the fat ass his outfit looks ridiculous. Tell your good friend you just don't want to drive 60 miles to see her. Tell your wife you're having an affair because your marriage is just not working.


What's the worst that will happen? Your friend will still be your friend. The fat ass needs to know he shouldn't go out in public in that outfit. He might even thank you. Your marriage might end and that could be the new start in your life you have been hoping for.

Truth begets truth. Lies beget lies. Truth is a major part of your moral compass. Having a strong moral compass is the best gift you can give yourself.

Great Messages

Great Messages

 

 

For the Jewish New Year my friend sent me the following messages that we wish for everyone in the world. I'll embellish them to add my two cents.

 

 

Happy and Healthy New Year

 

"May you remember that some people's lives are parched and dry... and be grateful for the abundance in yours." Appreciation is a major part of happiness. We all have our bullshit that we have to deal with on a daily basis. However, if we take the time to look around, we instantly realize we, in the Western World, have a lot to appreciate. The need to appreciate what we have is at its highest point when we are at our lowest point. Sooo, make "appreciate" your daily mantra.

 

"May you find it easy to give and receive."  It's difficult to always be giving without getting. But, if you're giving because it makes you feel good than getting anything in return is not necessary. The more you need to receive the less you feel good about giving. The more you give the better your chances of receiving.

To some of us, receiving makes us uncomfortable. Maybe we feel we don't deserve to receive. Maybe we're too humble to receive. This is a bad way to feel. It takes all the fun out of receiving and it also takes all the fun out of the person who is giving. Sooo, make it easy to give and make it easy to receive by just saying "Thank You!" 

 

"May you find beauty in unexpected places."  You can't find beauty anywhere if you don't look for it. You can't find beauty anywhere if you see it but don't acknowledge it. The answer is simple; take the time to look around. People are beautiful. Plants are beautiful. Cities and rural areas are beautiful. Art and music is beautiful. Believe it or not, a job done right is beautiful. However, all of that will pass you by if you don't take a step back and acknowledge the beauty. By doing so, your happiness meter goes up and up. 

 

"May you learn and teach well."  Learning is a gift. Teaching what you learned to others is rewarding. Both the gift and the reward are part of the make-up of creating a happy life. Suck in every idea and learning experience from the people you meet, the media you watch or listen to and the environment you find yourself living in. The more you learn the better well rounded a person you become. The more you learn the more you have to teach others who will reward you with their appreciation.

 

"May your tense and angry times be short-lived." How many times can I keep saying to you that anger is negative energy and does not serve YOU. Nobody can stop you from getting angry. However, if you truly believe that staying angry will suck all the happiness out of your life, your anger will be short-lived. Always put yourself in first position. Always love yourself just a little more than anything or anybody else. If you do those two things, anger will not play a significant role in your life.

 

"May you be startled and delighted by new beginnings." This is a great message. Life IS a journey not a destination. Getting excited about new events in your life will make you the kind of person who always has a smile on their face. Being somewhere for the first time, seeing something for the first time and having your five senses startled and delighted by something new will give you energy you never thought you had.

 

"May you find your uniqueness."  Very few people think they are unique. Most of us would describe ourselves as average. It's just not true. You are as unique as your fingerprint. The issue is you don't look deep inside and find your uniqueness. If you find it, you don't embrace your uniqueness. It could be as simple as your laugh that makes everybody else laugh.  

Take the time to write down all the things you believe are unique about yourself. Ask your friends what they think is unique about you. You'll be shocked at the significant number of things they find unique about you. Now that you know your unique traits, play them up (as opposed to denying them) so others will notice.

Believing you are unique is a big ego booster and happiness booster. You're not exactly like anybody. You are you and that's a great thing.   

 

 

"May you take exquisite care of yourself."  Health and happiness go hand and hand. If you love yourself and love life, you should have every incentive to take exquisite care of yourself. It's not just your body that's important; it's also your mind. Give your body what it needs by eating properly, exercise and doing all the preventive medicine things you can afford. Your body is your temple. Treat it with respect. When you decide to buy something/anything put your body in first place and spend it on your beautiful temple.

 

You also have to give your mind what it needs. Less stress, less anger, less ego, more laughing, more having fun, more loving, more true friendships, more third party help if necessary and:

 

 

 More living by the messages stated in this blog.

 

 

Fear

Fear

Animals have a build-in fear mechanism to protect them from predators and other dangers. Evolution passed that fear response into the brain to humans. We all (except for specific mentally ill people) have it and need it to survive. It's the thing that gets us to look over our shoulder when walking down a dark ally. It's the thing that gets us to go into protect mode when being approached by a wild animal. It's the thing that gets us to run like hell when someone is coming toward us with a gun.


As humans evolved, we've become much more sophisticated in the way fear affects our lives. Some for the good and some not so good. Good fear stops us from going to jail before we commit a crime. Bad fear stops us from getting the most out of life. 


Growing up in a fearful environment can create a much more sensitive fear response in our brain. It doesn't have to be growing up in a neighbor full of gangs. It could be as simple as growing up with parents that fear everything all the time. That's my parents.


It's understandable how they got that way growing up in the Great Depression with no money a dead father and sickly mother. Every day was a struggle and they risk winding up on the street. They passed much of their fears on to me.


Fortunately, over the years, I've overcome most of those bad fears. However, a lot of people have not. I still have many of my good fears, but not the ones that are at the extreme. Many of us have a strong fear of dying. That fear is good as long as it's not in the extreme.


Not being able to get on an airplane because of a fear that the plane will crash and you will die, will take away a vast amount of places you can explore or jobs you can take in your life. Statically, you have a much greater chance of dying in a car than an airplane. Therefore, the fear of flying is something deep inside you that could be worked out by talking to someone.


On the other hand, I fear riding on a motorcycle. In my opinion, that's a good fear because the injury and death rate of riding a motorcycle is much higher than riding on something with four wheels. Also, if I never ride on a motorcycle it will not have any impact on me getting to places I want to visit. Yes, I won't get the thrill of the wind blowing through my hair, but if that became critical to me, I could get a convertible car.


financial fear is the most insidious. Nobody wants to be poor. Having a normal fear of not having money is a good fear. Having no fear of going broke is not good. At the same time, having an extreme fear of being poor is also not good. Saving money so you can have a happy retirement is good. Saving money so you can buy an air conditioner for your house or apartment is good.


However, saving money to the extreme because of your fear of not having it, is bad. Money is there to enjoy and used to make decisions. Not enjoying your money is bad. Never making decisions because of money is bad. How much is enough? What is needed is a balance. You need to have enough money to be safe and happy, but not so much money that you stop living life.


Fear and risk taking are partners. The more fear the less risks, the less fear the more risks. If I had to vote for one, I would vote for less fear and taking more risks. A saying in my last book says: "life without risk is half a life." Sooo, again you have to stay in balance. To get the most out of life you have to take some risks. However, taking risks that have the potential to ruin your life and your happiness is not a good thing to do.


The bottom line of all this is to greatly understand the fear inside you. Don't try to get rid of the good fear and don't ignore the bad fear. Fear plays a role in creating a happy life for yourself. The hardest part is accepting the good fear and managing the bad fear. You may need a little help getting this balance right; however, it's on you to accomplish this balance because without it you'll have trouble creating a happy life.

Don't ever forget YOU DESERVE TO HAVE A HAPPY LIFE! Use the fear inside you to make that happen.

Life Is A Picture Painted By The Person Living It

Life Is A Picture Painted By The Person Living It

I can't remember where I heard that saying, but it's wonderful. I have no painting skills so my picture has to be described in my writings. If you've been following my blogs you should be able to get a sense of what my life has been and is all about. I didn't pull any punches. I let my barriers down to give you all the best true picture of my life.


Now it's your turn. If you want to get in tune with who you were and who you are now you need to paint your picture. Start when you were young and continue with every major change in your life. It will be a fantastic experience when you get it all done. It will also be a legacy to your family and friends when you're gone.


The hard part will be painting (or writing) about the bad times. However, those times are what made you who you are today. If you were able to recover from those bad times the follow on pictures will be happy ones. If you have never recovered from those difficult times (like the loss of a loved one, financial disaster, severe illness, etc.) your pictures of life will be bleak.


Even if your pictures are negative, it will help you a lot to stare at them. By doing so, you may be able to create the guts to change things starting today. What do you have to lose? Your life can't suck any more if you decide to make major changes. The risk factor is well worth the scary changes you will have to make.


Assuming most of us are painting beautiful pictures of our life might convince you to appreciate your life more and stop sweating the little annoyances that piss you off along the way.


I'm a strong believer in seeing your life from afar. I'm a strong believer is seeing your life in the aggregate and not in the day to day. A picture (written or painted) enables you to do so. There will always be bad days. It's in our nature (via evolution) to focus on the negative. By seeing the bigger picture enables you to ignore or at least pass over the minor bullshit you have to deal with each day.


Don't paint your picture as a moment in time. If you do so you might paint a beautiful picture or an ugly picture. Either one probably won't reflect the truth of your life.

It's the truth of your life that's important. Nobody has to see the picture other than you because it's your truth not they're truth.

Constipation - It's Worse Than You Think

Constipation - It's Worse Than You Think

Constipation: refers to bowel movements that are infrequent or hard to pass. It can also be used to describe a major blockage of the mind or body.


If there is anybody out there who has never been constipated, you're my hero. It's a horrible feeling to sit on the crapper and push and push without anything coming out. Then you have to go through the day or maybe multiple days fearing the normally productive toilet seat has it in for you.


When a simple bowel movement becomes a horror show, you're not only feeling physical pain, but you also feel anxiety. Anxiety puts you in a bad mood that might manifest into negative energy. Negative energy gets you to be unhappy which can lead to reacting to life situations in a negative way.


One of our problems is we don't tell anyone we're constipated. They just think you're in a bad mood. They don't like you being pissed off because you're taking it out on them. The more constipated the worse you feel. The worse you feel the more frustrated and angry you get. The more frustrated and angry you get the more you lash out at the people you care about.


The solution is simple. First, get in tune with your attitude and realize you're acting out because you're constipated. Second, tell the people you care about you're in a bad mood because you're constipated. Third, take a pill or some other solution and blow the crap (literally) out of your happy toilet. To some, that final release can feel as good as a mind blowing orgasm.


I know the anus and its bowel system is something you never want to talk about. However, you wouldn't have any problem telling someone you care about that you're in a bad mood because you broke your foot, have a migraine or lost your best friend. Well guess what, being constipated for a few days can be as painful as a broken foot or migraine. It can also be as depressing as losing a friend.


Sooo, say it loud and say it proud by telling the world you're having trouble taking a shit!!


As I stated above, constipation of the mind and body can be worse than constipation of the pooper. Too many of us are all blocked up when it comes to making decisions, making changes and living life. This type of constipation holds us back from creating a happy life. We do the same things every day. We don't take chances. We surround ourselves with what we know and don't explore potential rewarding things we don't know.


Our mind gets constipated when new things are presented to us. That blockage gets us to find excuses for taking risks. We "what if" ourselves into doing nothing or staying with the current formula. Being constipated makes us unequipped to deal with major events like death of a spouse, loss of a job, financial problems, loss of a house, etc.


The answer is the same as constipation of our plugged butt. First, admit to yourself that you're stuck and all blocked up. Write down all the things you could be doing that you're not doing because you're constipated in your head. Second, tell people who care about you that your decision making and risk taking is all blocked up. One of those people should be a mentor who can help you unplug.


Third, do at least one crazy thing every month. Don't worry about the consequences; you will recover if it goes wrong. Don't study it. Don't "what if" it. Just let loose and do it. Scream out loud: 

I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to let my life become constipated. That release will feel as good as taking a great dump in your beautiful toilet.

Soul, Sex And Rock And Roll

Soul, Sex And Rock And Roll

These are three of my ingredients toward a happy life. I have many, many more, but having those three on any given day is a good day.


Soul can be anything from soul food to soul music. Sex is everything from seeing something that makes you horny to mind blowing orgasm. Rock and Roll is music that fills you up with passion. Getting all three in one day is something you have some control over. However, most people are OK with just one.  I say, go for all three every day. If you only get one, at least you tried.


If you don't like soulful things, there is something missing from your soul. If you don't like sex, I feel very sorry for you. If you don't like rock and roll, you've never been to a Rolling Stones concert. I'm not saying you can't be a happy person if Soul, Sex And Rock And Roll are not part of your life, but I do suggest you give them a try to see how your spirit reacts.


When I get to see a person's soul, I get goose bumps. It takes a person who is willing to let down their barriers so they can bare their soul. When I hear a soul singer reaching deep down inside themselves, I feel love. Soul food comes in many combinations. To me a Philly Cheese Steak smothered with grilled onions and spread with Cheese Wiz (regular cheese just won't cut it), reaches deep into my soul.


What can I say about sex? It's fun. It's rewarding (especially when you get your partner off). It feels so good when you're hugging and kissing someone you care about. It's a fabulous release when you have a delicious orgasm with the right person. Sex can just be appreciating a beautiful person (not just the outside, but also the inside). Sex should be a part of your happiness meter. The hard part is finding the right person to have sex with. Sex with the wrong person is usually not a very rewarding event.


Rock and roll brings positive energy and happy emotions all over my mind and body. It could be Country rock, classic rock, hard rock and just plain rock and roll. It's the beat that gets me. I can't stop my body from shaking to the beat. It must be something deep down inside my soul that brings out all these positive emotions.


Can you name three things that get you into a positive mood? If you can't, try harder. If you can, make every effort to do at least one of those things every day.

I suggest you wake up to the Rolling Stones "Start Me Up." That will get your body pumping faster that a strong cup of coffee!