Calling Doctor Feel Good

Unless you've had an accident, serious disease or you're the luckiest person in the world, the following rules apply:

• If you're in your mid twenties, you've never seen a doctor and take no medications.
  
• If you're in your mid thirties, you go to the doctor rarely and still don't take any medications.
  
• If you're in your mid forties, you go to the doctor at least once every six months and take one or two medications.
  
• If you're in your mid fifties, you go to the doctor at least every three months (including check-ups and scheduled events like a colonoscopy - UGH). You now are taking around three to five medications and vitamins.
  
• If you're in your mid sixties, you're now going to multiple doctors for all kinds of stuff and you're taking at least five medications and a shit load of vitamins.
  
• If you're in your mid seventies, you know the first name of all your doctors, their wife's name and at least some of their children.  You're also not sure what medications you're taking or when you're supposed to take them because you have CRS (can't remember shit).
  
• If you're in your mid eighties, you're just happy to get out of bed in the morning to call doctor feel good.

The drug companies don't want us to die because they make the most money on old people. The drug companies don't want to cure anything because they won't be able to sell all the drugs that allow us to live with our problems.  There isn't any money in a cure for cancer, AIDS or any other major disease.

Therefore, we are going to live longer.  Get that in your head.  If you're unhappy now, think about the many - many years ahead of you to still be unhappy. If you're happy now, look at all the years you still have to be happy and give happiness to others.

 

I take the drugs and the vitamins because I want to live as long as I can.  My biggest problem with dying is I won't get to see it all.  I love my cell phone and want to see what it will be like to use a phone in the distant future.  I love my car and wonder if that's the way we'll get from place to place hundreds of years from now.

I love my friends and wonder if face to face conversation, hugging, kissing, intercourse, etc.  will happen the way it happens today.  In the Woody Allen's movie "Sleeper" people used an orgasmatron to have great sex.  The individual person stepped into the device, set the strength of the orgasm and pressed go.  Two minutes later they came out of the device spent.

I believe whatever the world will look like hundreds and thousands of years from now, it will be great and I want to see it.  However, the drug companies are probably not going to find a way to keep me alive that long.  

Sooo, since I love my life now, I'm going to do all I can to hang around as long as I can.

Calling Doctor Feel Good.  Calling Doctor Feel Good.  Calling Doctor Feel Good. 

Physical Work Vs. Mental Work

Are you exhausted after work?  Most people are.  What I learned from having both physical and mental jobs is both are demanding.  However, there is one difference between the two kinds of jobs.  Unless you're a manager or an owner, your physical job ends when the day is over.  A mental job can stay with you after the work day ends.


When I worked in my father's small sandwich shop my chores were making sandwiches, scooping ice cream, washing dishes, taking out trash and cleaning up - a lot of cleaning up.  At the end of the day, I was tired, but felt good about the work I had done and the fact it was over.  I could now play with my friends and do some homework (not a lot of homework - I hated school).


My father on the other hand, left work at the end of the day, but never felt good because he worried about: will his meats come in on time the next day, will we be busy enough to pay the bills, will the landlord raise our rent, etc. etc. etc. Yes, we both did physical work, but I was happy when the day ended my father was not.


My career led me to all mental work.  I was mentally drained when my work day was over, but I loved my jobs and that made me happy.  As I moved up the corporate ladder, my new mental jobs came with a lot more responsibility.  Even though I loved those jobs also, I was not only spent when I got home, I worried about the things left undone.  That worry took a lot of the fun out of my jobs and left me mentally exhausted.


If a plumber completes three jobs that day, he is tired, but goes home happy. The boss will tell him what jobs to go to the next.  He doesn't have to think about it until he arrives at work the next day.  If the plumber owns the plumbing business, he goes home thinking about the next day's, week's, etc. jobs.  His day never ends.


If an accountant ends the day, he goes home thinking about all the work he has on his plate that has to be done by noon the next day.  Even though he works for someone else, his day doesn't end when he gets home.


It's just my opinion (because I don't know sh..) that physical workers have better family lives, divorce less and are happier overall.  They may not make as much money as mental workers, but after a great hot shower, they can't wait to hug the kids.


Again my opinion, mental workers have less happy family lives, divorce more and worry too much.  After their day, they don't take a hot shower (because they showered before they went to work), they go to the bathroom with the daily paper, shut the door and unwind for at least twenty minutes.  When they come out, their mind is on the work left undone which leaves little emotional time with spouse and kids.


Sooo, is the answer to quit your mental job and take a physical job?  For some, that's the right answer.  However, for most of us it's not a option.  Therefore, what is the answer?


It all goes back to the things you've been reading about in my blogs.  You are in control of your happiness.  You don't have to worry about the work not finished.  That's right - stop worrying.  The work will be there when you show up the next day.  You'll get it done on time because you're good enough.


You can take a hot shower or a fantastic dump, leave the bathroom and tell your spouse, kids, friends or family what a great lunch you had that day.  Your job is your job.  If you decide to hate it or feel exhausted by it, you will not have the emotional energy to enjoy your life.  If you accept your job for what it gives you then go home thinking about anything or everything other than your job.

Now That's The Way to Happiness.

Life Is Just A Bunch Of Moments

"Life is just a bunch of moments"  Mel Brooks in the movie "Life Stinks"


Isn't that a great line.  What a great way to view your life.  Some moments are great and some moments stink.  However, either way, they're just moments.  Having a child is just a moment.  Getting married is just a moment.  Getting a divorce is just a moment.  Having a fight with your friend is just a moment.  Having make-up sex is just a moment.


Your life is a culmination of moments.  We tend to spend more time remembering the bad moments.  We too often take for granted the good moments.  If you look at your life in the aggregate, I would bet that most of the people who read my blogs have had more good moments than bad moments.  Therefore, most of you have had and are having a good life.


Why is it that too many of us don't look at their life that way?  Mostly because, the bad moments hurt more than the good moments feel great.  Mostly because, too many of us focus on the bad moments.  Mostly because, we have too many friends and family that talk too much about their bad moments.  Mostly because, we listen to them.


What if every time you think of a bad moment, you force yourself to think about a good moment.  What if you decide to at least consider your life a push - equal good and bad moments.  What if you stop describing your life as good or bad.  What if you wipe away your memory and only look at your life as it is today.  


If you've been reading my blogs you should know by now you have control of what you do today.  Are you going to make it a good moment or are you going to make it a bad moment? Are you going to let the outside world make today a bad moment or are you waiting for them to make it a good moment.


What if today turns out to be a bad moment in your life.  Do you believe that tomorrow will balance it out with a good moment?  It's a lot easier to accept a bad day when you believe tomorrow will be better.


I think it's time you write down the culmination of your life.  That's right, you need to write it down.  On one side write the good moments and on the other side write the bad moments.  I'm sure you'll have no problem writing down the bad moments so push yourself to remember all the good moments.  Start with the big ones (like marriage, broken leg, etc.) then write down all the small ones.


What you'll find out is most of the bad moments are the big ones and most of good moments are the small ones.  However, the sum of the small good moments will either balance out or overcome the bad moments.


It's critical for your happiness to view your life in the aggregate.  If you do, you'll be surprised it isn't as bad as you probably think it was and it is today.  At worst, it will be even.  

Even is great because today and tomorrow will be good moments if you want them to be.

There Are So Many Things You Can't Do When You're Dead

"There Are So Many Things You Can't Do When You're Dead"  Mel Brooks in the movie "Life Stinks."




Mel Brooks" movies make me laugh out loud.  Woody Allen's movies have the funniest one liners.  Both movies are ones all of us should watch when we're having a bad day.  Laughter can change a sad day into a happy day.


The line in the Mel Brooks movie "Life Stinks," "There are so many things you can't do when you're dead," is both funny and serious.  In the context of the movie, it's funny.  In the context of my blogs on happiness, it's serious.


What are all the things you can't do when you're dead - everything you want to do right now. What would you do, right now, if a doctor said you only have three months to live?  


Would you:

• Call or see the people you really care about and tell them how much they have made your life better.
  
• Spend more time appreciating the things you have, the things you see, the things you smell, the things you eat, The love you get, the love you give, the friendships you have, the family you have,  Etc., etc., etc., etc.
  
• Take the trip you always wanted to take so you can see the beautiful sights, eat different food, meet new people and enjoy a different culture.
  
• Stop thinking about the problems of your past.  Stop hating the people who have done you harm and pissed you off.  Stop being angry and frustrated with yourself.
  
• Stop worrying about the future because you're going to be dead soon.
  
•  Quit your lousy job and do something that makes you happy even if the money sucks.
  
• Read that book you always wanted to read.  See that show you always wanted to see.  Ride a motorcycle.  Bungee jump (I think I rather die first).
  
• Give some of your money to the people you know who need it the most (don't give it all because the doctor could be wrong).

That's just some of the things you might do.  You should make you own list.

The thing that's so interesting is you can do all of those things today.  You don't need the threat of having only three months to live to get them done.  Every one of the actions on the list above is in your control to accomplish right NOW.

We don't do it because we always believe we have time - that bus coming at you right now might not agree.  We don't do it because it takes effort and we're lazy.  We don't do it because some of the things scare us.  It's not as scary when you believe you only have three months to live anyway.  We don't do it because we don't know how.

Do you think you'll be happier if you take action on your list? You know the answer is YES.

Sooo, let's just do it! Yea, even the bungee jump thing.  Here we go - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.  

WOW, we survived.  WOW, we're not going to die.  

Hooo-Ray!!

Big Government - Small Government

Being a fiscal conservative and a social democrat puts me in a quandary as to whether I like big government or small government.  I do believe our government should have a role in helping people.  However, I also believe our government squanders money on things it has no business spending on.  


If we could figure out a way to balance both, we could reduce the deficit without new taxes.  However, what do I want to sacrifice?  More importantly are YOU willing to sacrifice?


As you know, I'm not big on spending billions and trillions on finding life outside this earth.  That wouldn't make a huge dent, but it's a good start.  I do have a problem with the current welfare system.  It encourages the wrong things.  People really do have more children to get more welfare.  People don't really look for work to get welfare.  People fake physical and emotional problems to get welfare.  I don't have a solution on how to fix it, but somebody in government should.  


We need a strong military, but how strong?  Why do we spend billions on military equipment that has not proven itself.  Like any business, the corporations should spend their money building things the government would buy.  If they come up with something, they get a huge government contract and make a lot of money.  Instead, the government gives these contractors billions before they even see a working model.  Steven Jobs didn't expect us to pay for an iPhone before he had a finished product.


The people in congress who make these decisions are the same people who are staunch believers in capitalism. The way the government gives money to these military contractors is not capitalism.  


We give billions around the globe to people who don't even like us.  I guess it's because we fear that if we don't, they will do harm to us.  Trust me, it's not working for us or for them.  If we decided to give them a little less each year, they might decide to try capitalism to keep the money flowing.  They would eventually be required to build a more democratic system where invention and innovation would be encouraged.  It would lead to bright people creating products and services that their own people want.  Being the welfare giver to these countries is not helping them and it sure as hell is not helping us.


Why are we the savior of the people around the world.  I would love to have the money to help everyone on earth, but we don't.  We have a huge deficit.  Our cost of living is skyrocketing.  We're talking about raising taxes.  We're talking about cutting social programs, education, road and bridge construction, etc. I feel really bad for those people around the globe, but it's not our problem.  Someone else has to step up for them because we have our own problems.


What the hell does this have to do with happiness - a lot.  Taking away our Medicare would greatly affect millions of people.  Even if the government just reduces Medicare's benefits it would be a big blow.  Is anybody even thinking about not giving Medicare or social security to people who have adjusted gross income of over ten million dollars?  


Not funding education is a guarantee our children and their children will grow up in a have and have not society.  Not funding the repair of roads and bridges guarantees our interstate commerce would greatly suffer.  That would affect the Gross National Products (GNP) we produce.  A lower GNP would make us a second class society.


For all of our happiness, we need to get involved.  The most critical thing we have is the right to vote.  Don't give up that most precious right.  Don't just vote for President, vote for every office and every ballot issue.  The worst that can happen is you might be called for jury duty (which is also the right thing to do and is one of the things that makes America special).

The next thing you can do is speak up.  Reach as many people as you can.  Promote your candidate.  

Write A Blog!  

Some Beach

Some Beach by Blake Shelton


Driving down the interstate, running thirty minutes lateSinging Margarita ville and minding my ownSome foreign car driving dude with the road rage attitudePulled up beside me talking on his cell phoneHe started yelling at me like I did something wrongHe flipped me the bird an' then he was gone

Some beach, somewhereThere's a big umbrella casting shade over an empty chairPalm trees are growing and a warm breeze is blowingI picture myself right there on some beach, somewhere

I circled the parking lot trying to find a spotJust big enough I could park my old truckA man with a big cigar was getting into his carI stopped and I waited for him to back upbut from out of no where a Mercedes BenzCame cruising up and whipped right in

Some beach, somewhereThere's no where to go when you got all day to get thereThere's cold margaritas and hot senoritasSmiling with long dark hair on some beach, somewhere

I sat in that waiting room, it seemed like all afternoonThe nurse finally said, "Doc's ready for you"You're not gonna feel a thing, we'll give you some NovocainThat tooth will be fine in a minute or twoBut he stuck that needle down deep in my gumAnd he started drilling before I was numb

Some beach, somewhereThere's a beautiful sunset burning up that atmosphereThere's music and dancing and lovers romancingIn the salty evening air on some beach, somewhereOn some beach, somewhere

I love this song.  If only everyone would see life this way the drug companies would be out of business and everyone would be happy.  


How do you feel about this song?  Do you think it's possible to have an asshole with a road rage attitude, flip you the bird, and your reaction is:


"Some beach, somewhereThere's a big umbrella casting shade over an empty chairPalm trees are growing and a warm breeze is blowingI picture myself right there on some beach, somewhere"


If you do, you'll live longer.


Do you think it's possible to have someone, with a Mercedes Benz, come out of nowhere and take the parking spot you've been waiting for, and your reaction is:




"Some beach, somewhereThere's no where to go when you got all day to get thereThere's cold margaritas and hot senoritasSmiling with long dark hair on some beach, somewhere"




If you do, you're one hell of a happy person.


Do you think it's possible to have your dentist stick that needle down deep in your gum and start drilling before you're numb, and all you can think about is:

"Some beach, somewhereThere's a beautiful sunset burning up that atmosphereThere's music and dancing and lovers romancingIn the salty evening air on some beach, somewhereOn some beach, somewhere"

If you do, you get it. You're my hero.  I want to be like you. You're the person I want to hang out with.  You're the one who gives positive energy out to the universe.  You're the least stressed person on the planet.  You have many - many friends and loved ones.  You make everyone around you feel better.  You've been reading my blogs.


Wouldn't that be a great way to live!  Sooo, why not?  What's stopping you? What bad would happen to you - absolutely nothing!   


It's hard to think like that.  I, your happiness blogger, have not reach that pinnacle.  I don't know anyone who sees life that way all the time.  I can do it more times than not, but not all the time.  The thing is, I don't know why.


I know it would be good for me.  I know I would be a happier person.  I know everyone would like me even more than they do now - which is a lot.  I want to be that person, but something is holding me back.  


Are the wounds, inside me, from the negative things that have happen to me in my life, so deep I just can't release them entirely?  Probably so.  Is the button of not wanting to be taken advantage of so deep inside me that I can't get rid of it?  Probably so.  Are my insecurities, inside me, stopping me from taking a laissez faire attitude when things don't go my way.  Probably so.  


I'm working on it and I will continue to work on it the rest of my life because I know my life will be even better than it is today if I accomplish that goal.

OOPS, the dog just took a dump on the floor

SOME BEACH - SOMEWHERE

Birthday Is Just Another Day

I never liked birthday parties.  As a matter of fact I never thought much about my birthday or other people's birthday.  I'm sure I got this attitude from my upbringing.  We were a struggling working family.  Our focus was getting through the day.  Birthday was just another day.

One year, I saved money and bought my father a birthday card.  He thanked me and after reading it, gave it back to me and said:  "put this away and give it to me next year."  I did the same with my sister (until we stopped talking to each other).  My mom was great and made it clear that no cards or gifts were to be given to her.  

Her position was, I love you every day - not just birthday.  WOW, that was something that stuck with me then and is still important to me now.  I guess I don't focus on my or other people's birthday because I don't want to be hypocritical about it.  Birthday is just another day.

I can't see me making a big deal about someone's birthday when they are just a casual acquaintance all year round.  I can't see me making a big birthday deal about a friend who I only see or talk to once or twice a year.  I can't see me writing something nice on a card if it's not true.  Even if it is true, I'm going to tell them by phone or face to face instead of writing them once a year.  Birthday is just another day.

I don't even make a big deal about birthday to the people I love and care about because I love and care about them all year round.  Birthday is just another day.

My wife does not buy into this attitude.  She loves to send cards to everybody.  Hallmark has her picture on their corporate office wall.  

I do send cards to my wife because some of them are really funny and I love to see her laugh.  I do like having or going to birthday parties because, if they are with people I like, I have a great time.  However, that same party could have been on any other day and it would be just as much fun.  Birthday is just another day.

Many of you want to celebrate the day of your friends and love ones birth.  However, all you are doing is reminding that person they are getting old.  If you're using birthday to remind someone you care, then you're are not reminding them all year long.  Birthday is just another day.

If you're throwing a birthday party because they threw you one, that's a bad reason for a party.  Stop the cycle and throw them a party on a day that's not their birthday.  If you are sending a card because you're afraid they might think you don't care for them - STOP IT.  

Worst, if you believe not getting a card from someone means they don't care for you, you must be insecure in your relationship with that person.  Birthday is just another day.

I'm not saying we should not celebrate birthdays.  Shoebox would put a hit out on me.  I am saying, birthday is just another day and should not be used to show your appreciation on that day.  Take a conscious effort to show your friends and love ones your appreciation every day.

Appreciation for them every day will get them to appreciate you every day. That way both of you will realize

Birthday Is Just Another Day. 

Why Do I Blog

On November, 2011 I published my third book "A True Leader Has Presence - The Six Building Blocks To Presence."  Writing a book is a long tedious challenge.  The writing can take many many months or even years.  The worst part is the editing.  Before I feel I have something that's ready to publish, I have readers read my manuscript.  These readers are people who I believe are the book's target audience.


These readers give me a vast amount of feedback which leads to more months of editing.  By the end of the process, the book that was a labor of love when I started, is now something I never want to read again.


In early December I wrote a treatment of my fourth book.  It is going to be a novel about how something that starts out good for all people turns out to be bad for all people.  It will be called "For The Good Of The People."


During the time I was writing the treatment I was also mentoring three people.  The goal of my mentoring is to help people who are not getting all the happiness they deserve, to understand how they can make changes that will bring more happiness into their life.  I help them take control of their career, their life and their happiness.


While contemplating writing my fourth book, on December 12th I decided to write a blog about what I teach - happiness.  It was great.  It took me an hour and a half to write and only fifteen minutes to edit.  It was two to three pages instead of two hundred and fifty pages.  It communicated one of the many things I already share with my Peeps.  It was a catharses for me to see the words on the page.  

I immediately put the book on hold and started writing blogs.  These blogs have had a significant effect on me.  They remind me what I have lived through and what I did to get over the things that were holding me back.  These blogs enable me share my thoughts on happiness to people I would otherwise never be able to reach.  I'm blown away that people in Russia, Germany, Latvia (I don't even know where Latvia is), Ukraine, Brazil, United Kingdom, South Korea and Saudi Arabia read my blogs. 

These blogs enable me to get instant feedback from some of you.  This feedback really feels good even if you take issue with something I've said.  Most of all, these blogs allow me to share with you very personal and emotional feelings I have inside me.


Putting those feelings on the written page is releasing.  It's like an exercise I teach my Peeps.  

"Put your left hand and your right hand, facing each other, to your chest bone at the center of your breasts.  Take a deep breath and at the same time throw your hands to the sky while letting out your breath." 

This exercise is a way of releasing stress.  Take something inside you that needs releasing and do this exercise.  Don't just do it once, do it multiple times until the bad stuff inside goes away.  If you want, while throwing out your hands to the sky, you can scream out the words from the movie "Network":

"I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore."

It is important for your happiness to share the most personal and emotional things stuffed inside you.  If you have the guts to do so, say it to someone/anyone who is truly interested.  Just saying it out loud to yourself is not good enough.  Let someone/anyone hear it.  Let someone/anyone read it.  


Take judgment out of your mind.  Why do you care if they judge you?  What's it your business if they are weak minded and feel threatened by your disclosure. Putting up barriers so you won't be judged is the wrong answer.  Take a deep breath and let it all hang out.

The more you reveal the happier you become.  

I've Had The Time Of My Life

WOW, what an interesting life I've had.  As a kid I had lots of fun.  Sports, games and just enjoying my friends.  Some of the school classes I liked (science - my favorite) and some I didn't like (History - UGH).  I never read a book in school.  I would get the Cliff Notes, which was a much shorter version of the real book, and write fabulous book reports.


We didn't have money so College was out of the question.  I wanted to get a trade and found a school offering classes in car mechanics, ex-ray technician and other classes.  One of them was this machine that had lots of lights blinking.  I went to the registrar and said I wanted to sign up for the class with the blinking lights machine.  She signed me up for computer programming. 


My entire love of my job happened by chance - a machine with blinking lights.  I don't believe I would have been nearly as happy if I became a car mechanic instead. I was a great computer programmer.  One reason I was so good was because I loved writing code - it was my art.  Another reason was because the entire computer field was extremely interesting to me.


Being good had its downside.  They made me a manager.  This was happening at the same time I was married and had two small children.  I was getting more money as a manager, but the burden of managing both work and family was getting me down.  The fun of being a great programmer was leaving my life.  


BTW, if I would have stayed as a programmer, I would be rich now.  Today, great programmers get lots of money and the best ones join start-ups and get rich.  Back then, programmers got paid no more than car mechanics.


The next fifteen years of my life were not the best.  Too much stress, too many people to manage, too much politics, two divorces, three thousand miles away from the friends and family I grew up with and too many money problems.


At thirty nine everything started to turn around for me.  I got a mentor, I got a new wife, I got a new job and I got a new attitude about job, friends, family, money, ego, security and life in general.  My jobs were still stressful (especially the politics part), however I could live with it because, for the first time in my life, I believed I was in control of my happiness.


At sixty two I retired.  These are the best years of my life.  Yes, I'm older, but I'm doing all the things that make me happy.  I can look back at the worst of times and still smile because I came out the other end with a great life.  I realize if I didn't have the hard times, I might not be as appreciative of today's time and my future times.


I'm a lifer.  I've always been a lifer, I just didn't realize it during the bad times.  I wake up every day being thankful that I woke up, have a nice home, a great wife, a great dog, good friends and able to do the things that make me happy.


WOW, I have had the time of my life and still do.  Where are you?  Are you having the time of your life?  If yes, do you appreciate life?  If no, do you believe you will have the time of your life in the future?  Do you believe having the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat is a good thing?  Do you realize that getting through a bad time will make you stronger and more appreciative of life?  If your life is great, do you share it with others - you know, that positive energy thing?

Most Importantly, do you believe you have control of your happiness?  I believe you do if you want it bad enough!

Retirement

It's too soon to think about retirement - wrong for some right for others.  Too many people never make a retirement plan.  I'm not talking about financial planning.  What I know about financial planning is save some money, don't invest in risky investments, don't buy things you can't afford and don't get divorced. 


As you can see, I don't have a lot to offer you regarding your financial retirement planning.  I do have knowledge in physical, emotional and happiness retirement planning.  I do know when you should start planning your retirement and when you should not think about it.


First let's start with the definition of retirement:

"withdrawal from one's position or occupation or from active working life." 

Sooo, according to Webster, it's all about leaving your job and never working again.  That's not my definition.  My definition is:

"Stop doing the things you don't like doing and start doing the things that make you happy."

I hated getting up to an alarm clock.  Now, I'm retired, I wake up when my body decides to wake up.  I never liked being in meetings with too many people none of which could make a decision.  Now, I'm retired, almost all of my meetings are one on one.  I never liked the stress of having to perform or worst yet counting on others to perform.  Now, I'm retired, I decided to never manage another living soul.  I never liked having lunch or dinner with customers or management that were boring, only talked about work related things and cared only about their career.  Now, I'm retired, I only have lunch or dinner with people who are interesting and make me happy.


When I was planning my retirement, I thought about the things I wanted to do not just the things I no longer wanted to do.  I wanted to finish my second book and write my third (blogging came later).  I always wanted to play the guitar.  I wanted more time to mentor people.  I wanted to have more time to work out.  I wanted to have a dog.


I have done all the things I wanted to do and stopped doing the things I didn't want to do.  As you can see, some of the things I wanted to do are work related.  It takes work to write, learn the guitar, care for a dog and work-out.  Therefore, Webster's definition is wrong.


In my definition, when you retire, you can take a different job if the new one is more fun than the other one.  The goal is different.  You do your current job for money or other reasons.  The retirement job is for happiness even if you don't make a dime.


So when should you start your physical, emotional and happiness retirement planning?  If you're under forty years old, I suggest you don't even think about retirement.  The reason is you're in the middle of your life journey.  You're still learning what you like and what you don't like.  You're still finding new fun things to do.  You might love the new experiences your current job is giving you.  I was learning the computer, software and network business and that was a great deal of fun.  Your social life is either blooming or going down the toilet.  


At forty you should be planning your retirement.  I know it's at least twenty years away, but if you don't know where you're going you will never get there.  Sit down and write all the things you want to change about your current work life.  Sit down and write down the things you never had time before to accomplish.  Sit down and write all the fun things you want to do when you retire.  


This list is your retirement happiness guide.  Every year look at it and decide if you want to make any changes.  These are going to be your golden years.  The reason they're called "golden" is because these retirement years are supposed to meet the "gold" standard.  My "gold" standard is to get all the happiness I can squeeze out of the years I have left.


I actually know people who are not happy after they retire.  They are bored, unmotivated and no longer feel productive.  They believe they're too old to get a job or do something new.  They retired without a plan.  One of them spent a large portion of their retirement money and opened a Taco Bell.  Six months later he was miserable working too many hours and managing people that are just going through the motions.  


Happiness is the forgotten ingredient of life.  Your goal is happiness.  Retirement can either enhance that goal or take some of the happiness out of your life.  Don't wait until it's too late.  

You do have control of your happiness and you do have control of what you do in your retirement.

Someone Like You

"Someone Like You" by Adele

"I heard that you're settled down

That you found a girl and you're married now

I heard that your dreams came true

Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you

Old friend, why are you so shy?

Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited 

But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it

I had hoped you'd see my face

And that you'd be reminded that for me, it isn't over

Never mind, I'll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you, too

Don't forget me, I beg

I remember you said

Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead 

Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead, yeah

You know how the time flies

Only yesterday was the time of our lives

We were born and raised in a summer haze

Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited 

But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it

I had hoped you'd see my face

And that you'd be reminded that for me, it isn't over

Never mind, I'll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you, too

Don't forget me, I beg

I remember you said

Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead, yeah

Nothing compares, no worries or cares

Regrets and mistakes, they're memories made

Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you 

Don't forget me, I beg

I remember you said

Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead"

This is a very emotional song for some of you.  When we were young our parents called it puppy love.  But to us our relationship with someone was serious.  Our emotions were all over the map.  Our endorphin's were raging.  Our testosterone was controlling us.  Losing someone we deeply loved really hurt - even though we didn't understand love as we do today.


Even at a young age, many of us became bitter and hated the person who stopped loving us the way we loved them.  Very few of us felt:

"Never mind, I'll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you 

Don't forget me, I beg

I remember you said

Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead"

Guess what, now we're adults and nothing has changed.  Too many of us are still bitter and hold hatred in our hearts for the person who stopped loving us the way we loved them.  We resent and say:

"I heard that you're settled down

That you found a girl and you're married now

I heard that your dreams came true

Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you"

What is this bitterness, hatred and resentment getting us - ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.  The best way to end a relationship is to stay friends.  However, it takes two baby - it takes two.  If you wait for the other person to be the one, you're not looking out for your happiness.  If you really did love this person and would still like them to be part of your life, you first have to find out why you still want to be friends.


Friends are people that wish you well and will be there for you when times are bad.  If that's what you want from the person who ended the relationship and you're willing to do the same for him or her - be the one who takes the first step even though:


                        "Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead"


If you want to be friends because you are holding out hope that he or she will realize you were always the one and:

"I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited 

But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it

I had hoped you'd see my face

And that you'd be reminded that for me, it isn't over"

This reason for wanted to be friends, will destroy you.  You will not even try to find someone new.  Your love one will feel your pressure.  If your love one is a mensch, he or she will push you away so you don't get hurt.  Eventually this friendship will turn into the things you were trying to avoid in the first place - bitterness, hatred and resentment.


If you ever had a love that hurt so bad when it ended - you're one of the lucky ones.  Having loved and lost is a blessing.  Too many people have never loved at all.  It doesn't matter if we are talking about a deep love for a friend or family member or any other person.  Being able to fall in love, even if it's for a short period of time, is wonderful if you can embrace that experience with positive energy.


Being able to love once and not blame the other person or, most importantly, yourself will enable you to love again and again.  Being willing to avoid putting up barriers to protect yourself will allow you to love again and again.

All love is happiness.  Loving and losing can still be happiness if you love yourself more.

Sue Baby Sue

If you watch TV you most likely have seen the ads for a number of law firms.  They boast a super high success rate and have gotten their clients millions of dollars.  Isn't that great!  Well, NO!  Who do you think is paying for those hundreds of millions of dollars - YOU!

Let's take a look at their success rate.  I would guess ninety percent are settled before it goes to court.  I would guess they convince their clients to accept a deal that is much less than their client would get if it went to trial.  I would guess they pray on poor people who are really damaged, but need money now.  I would guess they accept frivolous lawsuits that they believe they can settle in a very short time.

To keep me from being sued, these are my opinions and have zero facts behind them.  You should make up your own mind.

We are a litigious country.  Many of the lawsuits are necessary and protect us from harm or pay us for the damage done.  However, there are too many (in my opinion) lawsuits that are done out of anger, greed and revenge.

How many divorces could be settled by two adults that respect each other enough to sit down and work out a fair deal for both - A LOT.  The stress of fighting to make sure you get more than he or she is just not worth it.  The anger to get back at someone because they hurt you is just not worth it.  What about the other people that suffer (like the kids)?  Do either of you care enough about them to settle without a prolong legal fight?  Do you really feel better and happier because you took him or her for everything they had?  If you do, you're not reading my blogs.

I left my first wife with three thousand dollars and a beat-up old car.  I wanted my freedom more than I wanted a fight.  I cared more for the kids then I cared for the money.  I believed I would recover and make the money back.  I left my second wife because of emotional stress.  She sued me for everything and I gave it to her.  My choice was to spend all my money having lawyers fight the divorce to the death (as she was willing to do) or give her the house, cars and money so I could go on with my life.  Just the stress relief was worth the price.  Again, I recovered.

I know people who will give lawyers thousands of dollars to fight over six inches of property.  Slip and fall is one of the most common lawsuit.  You go into a seven eleven, don't notice (or do notice if you're a crook) a wet spot and slip.  You sue for doctor bills plus pain and suffering.  I get the doctor bills.  I don't get the pain and suffering.  You're not going to be handicap the rest of your life.  You not going to be mentally ill the rest of your life.  It hurt - so what.  You'll get over it and life will go on.  

What if you fell in your kitchen?  Would you sue the linoleum for pain and suffering?  No, you would accept the pain for now knowing it will be gone soon.  But, why not sue Seven Eleven - their rich.  Because these kind of lawsuits forces them to pay a lot for insurance and hire a legal staff.  Nothing is for free - their product prices will go up because someone other than you fell on their floor.

I'm not down on lawyers (my son is a lawyer - contract law) or the people who deserve to sue.  I am down on people using the legal system to make money, get revenge, make a point or, believe it or not, because they can.

We have the highest insurance rates of any country.  We have the highest health costs of any country and our health care is not the best in the world.  We have a stressful society because we sue too much.  We take more drugs for stress than any other country.

I, for one, believe we are all in this together.  Suing a company, a doctor, a candlestick maker, etc. has a negative effect on their workers, all the people that need their products and services and you.  

People are suffering because of high prices.  People are suffering because the cost of insurance is ridiculously high.  People are suffering because they know it's so easy to get sued.  We, as a community, can stop this from happening.  New laws won't work because they will hurt people who truly need the law to protect or reimburse them.  New laws won't work because politics are involved.  New laws won't work because too many people are getting rich with the laws just the way they are.

Therefore, it's up to us.  We could go back to the way it was in this country when I was a boy.  Back then, a car hits another car.  The two drivers get out and scream at each other.  After the screaming, they look at the damage and one pays the other.  No lawsuit, no pain and suffering.  They just go off and fix their bumpers.

Neighbors were neighborly back then.  If they had a difference they settled it by talking to each other.  No lawyers - no lawsuits - no being mad at each other - no stress.  back then, if your doctor did something wrong you stopped seeing him and told all your friends to stop seeing him.  In my neighborhood we actually made a dentist leave the neighborhood because nobody would go to him.

I appreciate my life today more than I did back then except for the negative energy affects today's lawsuits have on all of us.