Apologize

Apologize

When was the last time you apologized? When was the last time you said: "I'm sorry?" Some women say men are stubborn. Some men say women are stubborn. Some women say men are defensive. Some men say women are defensive. The truth is both are right.

Who goes through life wanting to be wrong? When did you ever hear your father or mother say: "sorry, I was wrong?" When did you ever hear your sister or brother say: "I was wrong?" When did you ever hear a politician say: "I was wrong?" Maybe, if they did, it wouldn't be so hard for us to apologize. 

I grew up being defensive. I would fight to the death before I would admit I was wrong. I believe it was because I didn't feel good enough and when challenged, I would fight back. The problem was I was and am bright. I could turn the conversation so far around that the other person started to feel maybe they are wrong. 

Therapy got me to realize that I was good enough. Therapy got me to realize I was a really good person. Therapy got me to love myself. Once I felt that I was bulletproof, apologizing, when I was wrong, didn't hurt so bad. By loving myself and feeling good enough, I no longer felt that I needed to be defensive.

What I learned was that apologizing, saying I'm sorry and not being defensive, got me more from people than when I was manipulating the conversation to defend myself. What I learned was people liked me much better when they believed I would no longer attack back. The fact is I'm a happier person saying I was wrong, when I WAS wrong.

Thinking you are never wrong will not lead you to the happiness you deserve. Saying: "I'm sorry will get you more love than being stubborn. Sooo, when you screw-up, drop your ego and:

Apologize

Have I Told You Lately That I Love You

Have I Told You Lately That I Love You

By Rod Stewart

Have I told you lately that I love you

Have I told you there's no one else above you
You fill my heart with gladness
Take away all my sadness
Ease my troubles, that's what you do

For the morning sun and all it's glory
Greets the day with hope and comfort, too
You fill my heart with laughter
Somehow, you make it better
Ease my troubles, that's what you do

When you're married for many, many years to a wonderful spouse, you take some things for granted. The biggest one for me is to tell my wife I love her. Those three words are so simple. So why is it so difficult to say it? Somehow it seems to be less important.

You know you love her, and she knows she loves you, but after a lot of years it just doesn't seem to come out of your mouth. Then, if tragedy happens, you wish you said it more often. That's never going to happen to me ever again.

Most guys grow-up without hearing their father say those three words. My father never did. My mother on the other hand, said it all the time to me - it felt really good when she did. Those words don't mean a thing unless you feel the love.

Now I say it all the time. When My Ellen passed Cindy and Jack were there for me when I needed someone the most. Today, I rarely leave a conversation with Cindy without saying: "I Love You." Our friend Roni traveled from LA to stay with me and help me get over the pain. To this day, when we talk, I always say: "I Love You" and she says the same back to me. My Ellen's cousins call me all the time and I tell them I love them for caring about me. 

Guys almost never say to another guy: "I love you." We were not brought up show those deep feelings. I have guys who I really love. Just to name a few; Hank, Jack, Mark, Lee, Frank, Jay and Don (who sadly just passed). I now tell them all that I Love Them. 

Don was suffering from Cancer, but we would go to lunch every Wednesday. I never left lunch without telling him I loved him. He knew I was sincere and loved me back. I got to see him just before he died and told him again that I loved him - he could only smile, and I believed he felt the same.

Sooo, what about YOU. If you don't love anybody - I feel bad for you - you must have had a very difficult life. If there are people in your life that you truly love, what do you have to lose, just say:

Have I Told You Lately That I Love You

Your Future Depends On What Choices You Make

 Your Future Depends On What Choices You Make

Some believe their future is in the hands of others. Some believe having faith will affect their future. Some believe their future is pre-determined. Some believe that GOD will determine their future. The truth is, Your Future Depends On What Choices You Make.

If you smoke three packs a day and die from cancer, that smoking choice has determined your future - the outside world had nothing to do with it. If you lie, cheat, steal and have no moral compass, having faith will not do anything to stop your incarcerated future. If you decide to stay in a horrible marriage, GOD will not be the cause of your unhappiness.

If you believe your future is pre-determined, think again. We make choices every day. Some little - some big. Even the little ones will help determine your future. Who you are today is because of the choices you made during your whole life. 

Let's take me for example. The decision to select the computer course instead of many other choices made my future career a wonderful experience. My choice to divorce my first and second wife had affected my financial situation and the loss of a relationship with my two sons.

My choice of going to therapy changed my entire future (for the good) and helped me become the person I am today. My choice to marry MY Ellen (after two failures) enabled the happiness I've had for 36 years and continues to this day.

It's easier to think that something or someone will create your future. It's hard to accept that your future is in your hands and nothing or nobody else will determined your future. You see, putting your future's burden only on yourself doesn't let you blame the bad results.

Sooo, before you make your next choice, think about what effect it will have on your future. Like it or not,

Your Future Depends On What Choices You Make

Online Dating

 Online Dating

Well, it's been a month since I started online dating. Sooo, here are the results:

The Liars

The first woman I dated had good looking pictures on the website. We talked to each other a few times and everything was looking good. I asked her to lunch and she accepted. I got at the restaurant the same time as she. My first reaction was her hair. She had a strange color red on one side of her hair and purple on the other side with no hair in the back. When in the restaurant, she started to talk, and she had no teeth on the bottom half of her mouth - UGH.

Another woman said she was 67 years old. Again, her pictures were very good and the conversation by phone was great. I invited her out and she accepted. When she showed up, it was clear she wasn't 67 - she was a Bubby looking around 97. At her death at 90, my Bubby looked better. Another bait and switch.

A woman on the website texted me and we talked on the phone. After a few calls, we met, and she looked her age and just like her pictures. We got along great and she invited me for dinner. After dinner, I asked her about the four things I stated on the website; 1- interesting 2- loves to laugh 3- loves life 4- affectionate. The first three were on target, however hugging, kissing and ever letting me sleep with her was out of the question. Why would a woman go on a website looking for men and not ever expecting to at least hug and kiss?

The Crazies

I spoke to two women by phone. They both were crazy. I don't mean a little crazy - I mean Bat Shit Crazy.

The Almost

The last woman I was with, I really enjoyed everything about her. I didn't meet her online, I met her at a restaurant bar so I knew she was the real deal. We liked each other, but after a few dates, she seemed not too affectionate. I asked her about that and she said she was molested by her dad and raped by two guys when she was 16. Sooo, affectionate was not going to happen. We ended it as friends.

Even after all this, I'm still trying. I have a date tomorrow and another Monday. I almost gave up after the last one, but loving life so much, I want to find someone I can enjoy the rest of my life with - or at least a year or more. 

Sooo, if any of you are having trouble with your spouse, think twice about dumping him or her. Talk, Talk, Talk - go to couples counseling - look for what's good in the relationship not what's bad. 

Believe me it's a cold world out there on the web. 

What I love about July 4th

 What I love about July 4th

What I love about July 4th is many things. I'm a KETO person, but July 4th I'm a no diet kind of guy. I almost never eat hot dogs, but July 4th I'm eating two. Then there's all the different salads. After I'm so full that I can't get off the chair, there's cake, pies and anything sweet I can get me hands on. 

Sooo, July 4th is the time to indulge yourself. July 4th is not the time to worry about your waistline. You deserve July4th.

July 4th is the time to love the friends/family that you invited over. Now that I'm single and can't cook worth a shit, my friends Cindy and Jack have invited me over. I really appreciate them. I hope their family can be there because they have taken me in as one of the family - I so appreciate all of them.

Everybody loves the July 4th fireworks - well maybe not the dogs because they bark at the explosions. To sit with the people you love and enjoy the beauty of the fireworks is a wonderful thing. I'll really miss My Ellen.

Many of us are concerned that America is going in the wrong direction. Many of us are depressed and even fearful of what America will become. That depression and fear is not going to solve America's problems. They also don't serve YOU. The one major thing we have in America is the right to vote. Please vote for the America you want it to be.

My friend Jack has the American Flag hanging in his back yard. July 4th reminds me of how lucky I am to live in America. I've lived and stayed in many, many countries. some of them I loved, but even the ones I loved, don't compare to America. 

July 4th is the time to celebrate food, friends and family. It's also time to celebrate the freedom and opportunities America gives us. July 4th is the time to put concerns behind and be happy.