In My Room

In My Room

In My Room by The Beach Boys

There's a world where I can go
And tell my secrets to
In my room
In my room

In this world I lock out
All my worries and my fears
In my room
In my room

Do my dreaming and my scheming lie awake and pray
Do my crying and my sighing laugh at yesterday

Now it's dark and I'm alone
But I won't be afraid
In my room
In my room

Written by Michelle Patricia Gayle, Eric William Martin, Gary L. Usher, Brian Douglas Wilson • Copyright © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group

I have my room - do you? My room has a comfy couch, TV and computer. I call it my Man Cave. As a matter of fact I have a cube on my computer desk with the words: "MAN CAVE WHERE MEN CAN BE MEN." This is where I can be alone with myself to think, fantasize, plan, write, read and watch TV. It's my private time with only the dog snoring next to me.

Everyone (male or female) should have a room. Everyone should have a private place to themselves even if it's only for a few hours. This should be the place where you think positive thoughts not negative thoughts. 

This should be the place where you plan for a better future. This should be the place where you shut out all the negative shit going on in the world. This should be the place where you get all your worries about what bad things Trump and the Congress MIGHT do that will make you unhappy. 

This is NOT the room to think negative, be depressed, be angry or dislike yourself.

If you don't have such a place, use the bathroom if you have to, lock yourself in a closet if you have to, buy a locker outside the house if you have to or go to a bench in the park and think all the positive things I stated in the previous paragraphs. YOU DESERVE TO HAVE THIS ROOM!!

BTW, I'm Writing This Blog:

In My Room

What Will Happen In 2017

What Will Happen In 2017

Because Donald Trump will be our next President everybody is wondering what will happen in 2017. Half the people in the United States and around the world worry there will be social disaster, major military involvement in countries outside the US, trade wars with countries like China, isolation from our democratic friends in Europe and other countries connected to the United Nations and a roll back or major change to programs like Global Warming, Social Security, Medicare, Obamacare, etc., etc., etc.

The other half of the people in the United States and around the world see 2017 as the best year in a long time. Stocks will go up, regulations will be reduced creating more American jobs, the rich people will get richer which will trickle down to more jobs for the middle class, trade countries will have to trade on an equal basis, policies that restrict growth in many small businesses and industries will be changed to make it easier to do business, the Federal deficit will be reduced by changes to many social programs, policies that restrict the output of coal and oil will be changed so that the country will never have an energy problem and the military will be beefed up so America will be better safer.

WOW, on which side of the pendulum you swing, 2017 will either be a bad year or a great year. 

I'M CALLING BULLSHIT!!!!

Trying to figure out if I'm going to have a bad or good 2017 based on what Trump and the Congress will or might do ignores the fact that I have control of my happiness. I have no doubt I'm going to have a wonderful 2017.

I have my health, I have a loving wife, I have great friends and family, I have enough financial security to travel sometimes, eat wonderful food and live in beautiful Southern California. Because I’m retired, I also have time to write, read, play, exercise and watch mindless TV.  

Trump and the Congress might make my fabulous life a tiny little better or worse, but they will not have any affect on my happiness. 

2017 Will Be A Great Year Because I Will Make It So!

Resolutions

Resolutions

Resolutions are both a good thing and a not so good thing.  If you have to wait for the New Year to make a resolution you're not real serious about the resolution in the first place.  For example, if you say: "my New Year resolution is to stop smoking," I believe your odds of accomplishing that resolution is less than twenty percent.  If you want to stop smoking, take the steps to do so now.  This might be the hardest thing you've ever accomplished so, don't believe waiting for New Year will make it easier.

The good part of making resolutions is you have an idea of what you have to improve upon in your life.  The goal of your resolutions should be ones that will make you happier. Improving your health is a great resolution.  Stop being angry at someone who has done you wrong is a great resolution.  Getting rid of the things and/or the people in your life that have made you unhappy is a great resolution.  Deciding to get more out of life is a great resolution.

Getting a dog, buying a car, getting a new home, paying your bill on time, saving money, going out more, seeing your children, etc. etc. are not resolutions.  These are the everyday things you should be doing as a way of life.

Getting revenge is a bad resolution.  Doing something you really don't want to do, but it will make you more money is a bad resolution. Buying a car or house you really can't afford is a bad resolution.  Leaving the job you love and are great at doing for a promotion to one that has more stress, less fun, but more money and more power is a bad resolution.  Stop taking risks is a bad resolution.  

I don't make resolutions.  They can be restricting.  They can make me unhappy if they don't happen.  My goal is to get the most out of the life that is available to me.  I don't want to make a resolution I have to do because one day later my priorities might change. I don't want to make a resolution that requires the outside world to reach my goal.  I don't want to make a resolution where things I can't control could make me unhappy.

I want to live life doing the things that make me happy.  I want to appreciate the things that I have accomplished.  I want to pat myself on the back for the problems I've overcome.  I want to believe I have control of my happiness.

I want to love myself unconditionally.  Now that's a fabulous resolution!

Insecurity

Insecurity

Definition of insecure

1. 1:  not confident or sure :  uncertain <feeling somewhat insecure of his reception>
2. 2:  not adequately guarded or sustained :  unsafe <an insecure investment>
3. 3:  not firmly fastened or fixed :  shaky <the hinge is loose and insecure>
4. 4a :  not highly stable or well-adjusted <an insecure marriage>b :  deficient in assurance :  beset by fear and anxiety <always felt insecure in a group of strangers>

As you can see there are many forms of insecurity. Most of us have it to some degree. The ones who don't have any insecurity are not playing with a full deck. Where does this insecurity come from?

Ninety five percent of insecurity comes from previous acts. Growing up in an insecure family environment is probably the biggest reason. Having a traumatic event happen in your life. Failing at something you thought would definitely work out. The loss of someone who you put a lot of trust in and was your Mentor. Financial ruin. Divorce. Depression. 

In my opinion, the most insidious form of insecurity is worrying about things that have yet to happen.

Can anything be done about insecurity? Some of the worse statements a person can make are: "I have to stop worrying about things," "I have to get a grip on this situation," "I'm just going to convince myself to never be insecure again," "next year I'm going to fix this."

The reason these are bad statements is because they are all bullshit. The sooner you accept you are fearful and insecure, the best chance you have to change that pattern. You can't wipe out years of upbringing with words. You can't change major events in your life that made you worry about the future with words.

Sooo, for those of us who feel insecure and worry too much, we have these choices. Drugs (this is my very last choice and I only recommend it as a last resort). Find a good Mentor. Talking to someone who you trust and has your best interest in their heart can go a long way to helping you change your life stealing habits.

Do something positive every day. Positive actions begets more positive actions. The more positive actions in your life the more confident you become. The more confident you become the less insecure you become.

Worry. That's right, keep worrying. You can't stop it so why fight it. "The more you resist the more he (worry) will insist." Accept worrying into your life. 

The only way I have found to minimize my worrying is to take a step back and intellectually think about what I'm worrying about. Is it something that has already happen? If so, let your body worry. If it's something you're worrying about that might happen in the future, remind your intellectually self that nobody knows shit about what's going to happen in the future. 

What will worrying about future events do for you?

Absolutely Nothing

Old Man Look At My Life I'm A Lot Like You Were

Old Man Look At My Life I'm A Lot Like You Were

If you're reading my blogs you know I spent my life trying to not be like my father. He worried all the time. He never would take a risk. Life happened to him - he never made it happen. Sure, I was able to break some of those molds, but to be real, I worried a lot. I always played it safe. I took more risks than him, but they were controlled risks not out of the box risks.

I also got some good things from him and some bad things. I got his bright brain which helped me stand out and get ahead in business. I got his sense of humor (he always said funny is funny no matter the format). I got his honesty - He was and still is the most honest man or woman I knew/know. However, I also got his bad spine, which even today I feel is a great trade-off from the good stuff.

My mother on the other hand wasn't the brightest bulb in the room, but I got her love of life, her quirky sense of humor, her love of people of all ages and ethnic groups, her great thick hair (age and stress took most of that away, but that wasn't her fault) and on the negative side her horrible sense of direction. Send my mother two doors down from my house and she would never be able to find her way back.

I was a master computer programmer, but my lack of risk taking never pushed me to go on my own or with a group of others to try to change the world or get rich. I took many risks by changing jobs and careers that I believed would make me happier, but I always did that within the confines of major corporations. I never risked not having a paycheck on Friday.

I changed wives, but I did so to preserve my sanity and happiness. The risks I did take all turned out great, but I never went for the brass ring.

Sooo, I am my father and mother's child. Now that I'm older I'm happy with what I've become. I try my best to never look back and say I "shoulda" or "coulda" done this or that. When I was young, I blamed them for my fears. I blamed them for my lack of being all that I could be. My sister got caught up in that and she wound up with an unhappy life.

I just turned seventy two and I must say:

Old Man Look At My Life I'm A Lot Like You Were - Which I Greatly Appreciate

Colonoscopy

Colonoscopy

For those of you under fifty years old getting a Colonoscopy is probably the last thing on your mind. For those of you over fifty, getting a Colonoscopy should be in your top three things to consider. 

The facts are there, ninety five percent of the people who get a Colonoscopy every five years after fifty have a ninety eight percent chance they won't get colon cancer or get an immediate cure if they do. Getting a Colonoscopy is on par with a man getting a PSA test (a test for prostate cancer) every two years and a woman getting a mammogram (for breast cancer) every year or two. 

Again, the facts are that today there are so many ways to fight cancer if you catch it early. Catching it too late, once it has spread to other organs, increases your risk of dying from cancer exponentially.  Why wait until it's too late? These are easy procedures.

The PSA test is just a blood test. A mammogram just requires a short procedure of pressing you beautiful breasts against a machine that will take a picture. Yes, it feels cold pressing against that machine, but better endure a moment of cold and squashy breasts to ensure a longer life.

Getting a Colonoscopy is another story. I just had one on Tuesday. The actual procedure is not only easy it's the best two hours you're going to get. Oh sure, they're going to shove a long tube with a camera on it up your ass, but you'll be having the best Propofol (the stuff Michel Jackson used) sleep you ever had. 

When you wake you'll feel great and the only thing that will hurt is when they remove the IV in your arm. The downside is the day before the procedure.

There are a few ways to clean out your disgusting intestines. One way is using a product called "Go Lightly" (WOW is that an oxymoron). You have to drink a gallon of this crap. A glass full every twenty minutes. It's lemon lime flavored and after drinking all of it you swear to yourself you'll never drink another 7UP the rest of your life.

About an hour and a half after drinking your first glass, believe me you're not going "Lightly" to the toilet. You're running there and blowing out things you never thought could ever reside inside you. After each glass (until the gallon is empty) you're running and blowing for about four or five more hours. They should shoot the marketing person who named this stuff "Go Lightly."

The other method (which my Doctor suggested I do) is to drink three ten ounce bottles of Citrate of Magnesium. You drink one and a half bottles at around five o'clock at night with sixty four ounces of fluid. The good news is you have the majority of the day to get things done. With "Go Lightly" your entire day is consumed with running and pooping. The bad news is the Citrate of Magnesium takes around five hours to get you going.

The going is not as intense as "Go Lightly," but you never know if you're going to fart or poop so you have to sit on the toilet forever. After the first bottle and a half you have to swallow the second bottle and a half at three o'clock in the morning. A few hours later you find yourself on the toilet until seven in the morning. If your procedure is at eight o'clock, that's a tight squeeze (PUN). 

The bottom line is you get no sleep with the Citrate of Magnesium, however you don't get as sore of an ass as with the "Go Lightly." The day before the Colonoscopy SUCKS THE BIG ONE!

The thing that saves the day is the procedure is easy and you know in a few days if you're still mister perfect. As annoying as these tests are, it's a great feeling knowing you care enough about your life and took the time to potentially extend your life.

Never Forget, Life IS Great

You Talk Too Much

You Talk Too Much

You talk too much, you talk too much. Yakety-yakety-yakety-yak all the time. We all know people who talk too much. Some are loud talkers and some are low talkers. Both are as annoying as a pack of laughing hyenas. 

If it's your spouse, you usually respond, in between them taking a breath, with:

* Yes dear
* I hear you dear
* I'll do it immediately dear
* I'll never do that again dear

If it's a friend you usually just nod your head up and down for agreement and back and forth for disagreement. No sense in trying to get a word in edgewise because they will just flap their jaws faster than you. 

If it's someone you meet at a bar you do the head nodding thing while trying your best to get the hell away from that person. Going to the bathroom works. Saying I'm meeting a friend at another bar works, but then the talker has chased you away. 

In all these cases your physical actions don't describe what you brain is dying to scream out:

* Give it a rest
* Talk to the hand
* You're going to get lock jaw if you keep this up
* I'm calling bullshit
* You're so loud you're pissing everybody off
* Do you realize you're a low talker and nobody can hear the bullshit coming out of your mouth? 

And then there is my favorite:

Would You Please Shut The F..K UP!

Love One Smile

Love One Smile

As you know I sometimes hear a song that sets in motions wonderful feelings inside me. Sara Smile by Hall and Oates is one of those songs. The thing is there just aren't enough Sara's in this world. Sooo, try thinking about the one you love when you read the words (with my few edits) below.

Sara Smile 

Written by Daryl Hall, John Oates • Copyright © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc

Baby hair with a woman's eyes

I can feel you watching in the night

All alone with me and we're waiting for the sunlight

When I feel cold, you warm me

And when I feel I can't go on, you come and hold me

It's you and me forever

Love One, smile

Oh, won't you smile awhile for me, Love One?

If you feel like leaving you know you can go

But why don't you stay until tomorrow?

And if you want to be free

You know all you got to do is say so

When you feel cold, I'll warm you

And when you feel you can't go on, I'll come and hold you

It's you and me forever

Love One, smile

Oh, won't you smile awhile for me, Love One?

Love One, smile

Oh, won't you smile awhile, Love One?

Smile

Oh, won't you smile awhile for me, Love One?

Oh, smile awhile

Won't you laugh, Love One?

Thank you for making me feel like a wonderful person

Keeping me crazy, crazy

Smile awhile

If You Have A Love One Who Doesn't Read My Blogs, Read Or Even Better Sing This song To Them. They'll Love You For It.

My Dirty Little Secrets

My Dirty Little Secrets

In my last blog "You Don't Know Me" I stated that I would do my best to open up to you who I am and what I'm all about. This blog is the start of things to come.

* I despise almost everything Donald Trump stands for regarding social issues - Immigration, women rights, global warming, etc. etc. However, when I look into my brain I realize many of the financial things he stands for I have to agree with him.

We have been too soft on China. Many of the deals we have agreed to don't put America in first position. Many of the jobs we have lost to other countries are because we have made America an unfriendly place for Corporations to do business. 

We have too many rules and regulations. We have too much bureaucracy. Some of the regulations to protect Americans have goon too far. In the long term, the deficit will cause suffering for us seniors and our children. Drug prices are too high and we have done nothing to bring them down.

Sooo, there is one on my dirty little secrets - I actually like many of the financial actions Trump wants to implement.


* My issues with my son is affecting me more than I'm willing to tell people. On the outside I act like it's no big deal, but inside it really hurts. I'm frustrated and confused and I don't know how to change it. We were friends. We were able to talk about things that were details of what was going on inside each other. This problem has caused me to not have a relationship with my two fantastic Grandchildren and that hurts even more.

Sooo, there you are, I'm exposing my second dirty little secret -  Even though I say I don't care, I want my son and my Grandchildren in my life. 


* Next week I'll be 72 years young. For a 72 year old, I'm in dam good health. However, I have had four disks removed from my neck. I have an arthritic condition in my lower back with two bulging disks. I don't like to talk about it, but I'm in pain every day - all day. 

It frustrates me because I know there isn't much I can do about it. I do my best to not show it to the outside world. I even joke about it by saying: "My engine and transmission are great - I just have bad bumpers." I even have pain free dreams. Those are my best dreams.

Sooo, there you are, I'm exposing my third dirty little secret - I'm afraid my spine will get worse and I won't be able to deal with the pain without serious drugs. The scary part for me is what effect it will have on the one I love the most - my wife.

As promised, there will be more dirty little secrets to come in time. However, the next few blogs will be more positive.

If you have the guts to share your dirty little secrets with someone - do it. It can be cathartic.