Cherish The Life You Have And Cherish The Love You Have

Cherish The Life You Have And Cherish The Love You Have

It's that time of year where we give joy to all, give gifts to some, get gifts from some, meet with family and friends, eat until we burst and wish for a better and happier new year. However, the best thing you need to do at this time of year and every day thereafter is to:

 Cherish The life You Have And Cherish The Love You Have!

Giving gifts, getting gifts, seeing family and friends, over eating or wishing for better things to come will not make you as happy as:

Cherishing The Life You Have And Cherishing The Love You Have!

We in the Western part of the world and some Non-Western countries have so much to cherish. If we allow ourselves to put down our barriers, we will not only received much love, but also be able to give much love. 

Instead of thinking how lucky you are, take this moment to: 

 Cherish The life You Have And Cherish The Love You Have!

Instead of thinking how unlucky or unhappy you are, take this moment to step back and consider what good things have happen in your life. Take this moment to appreciate the ones who have given you love in your life. 

Sooo, close your eyes. Wrap your arms around yourself and squeeze as hard as you can while you're:

Cherishing The Life You Have And Cherishing The Love You Have!

What Am I Going To DO If I Wake Up Tomorrow

What Am I Going To DO If I Wake Up Tomorrow

I was at our local Ruth Chris bar having happy hour drinks with my buddy Kenny (same name different look - not that it's a bad look, but I'm prettier). We were talking about retirement money. Kenny made a good point. He said that some of the people he knows spend money they don't have because their attitude is; "what if I don't wake up tomorrow?". Kenny says back to them; "what if you DO wake up tomorrow?"

Nobody wants to be poor when they retire or at an age when you're earning power is kaput. However, many people don't think that far ahead and assume they'll be dead before that happens. The problem with that attitude is, with today's medical capabilities, you are going to live longer than you think.

Now, I know I'm the Preacher who always says; "live the best and happiest life you can live today." I also say; "all you need in life is food to eat, air to breathe and shelter - everything else is cosmetic." However, let's get real here. Buying shit today that you really don't need has nothing to do with living the best and happiest life today.

You see, waking up tomorrow broke because you blew it all on instant gratification is no way to live your life. Sooo, if you're one of the ones Kenny is telling me about, stop the attitude; "what if I don't wake up tomorrow" and change that thought to; what if I DO wake up tomorrow.

On the other hand, some people go the other extreme. They don't do the things they always wanted to do today so they'll have enough assets to leave to their family. I say; "f..k the family. I didn't work my ass off all these years so I would be able to give my assets to someone else. My plan is to try to spend everything I have on my happiness and only if there is something left do they get it. Sounds selfish, but who cares? I'm going to be dead. 

Sooo, let them fight over the spoils. 

Now, I'm not going to spend money on things that don't make me happy just to spite them and make sure I don't have anything left. However, I'm never thinking of them when I do spend my money. Also, if I want to give them something, I'm going to give it to them when I'm alive not dead.  

The purpose of this blog and all of my blogs is for each of you to find your happiness. Being poor in your old age is never going to make you happy. On the other hand, not using your assets to help you become a happier person is just as wrong.

So, as my friend Kenny says; "the moment you think about spending on something you either can't afford or you don't need to make you happy, stop considering; "what if I don't wake up tomorrow" and start considering;

What If I DO Wake Up Tomorrow

Try A Little Tenderness

Try A Little Tenderness

This blog is to you macho men out there. Yes, you know who you are. You're the ones who are very competitive. You're the ones who don't hug men because of some stupid adults, when you were young, telling you it's not the right thing to do (BTW, even a few gay men don't like hugging for the same reason). You're the ones who won't ask for directions. 

You're the ones who have a problem if your wife makes more money than you. You're the ones that don't listen. You're the ones who feel it's your duty to try to fix something broken around the house even though you have no idea what you're doing.  You're the ones who keep telling your significant other what they are doing wrong when all she wants from you is some understanding and a hug.

Lastly, you're the ones who agree with comedian Bobby Slayton when he says that if you have an orgasm before the woman you're with it's because you won - you beat her.

What you don't realize is that if you try a little tenderness you'll be a happier person. Most women love a guy who is willing to show a little tenderness. The guys who get the most women are the ones who have a macho facade and a tender heart. The guys who please women the most are the ones who care about the woman's orgasm. 

The guys who have the most real men friends are the ones who are willing to let their macho facade down and share their feelings with their male friends. The guys who have the most friends overall are the ones who have as many women friends as men friends. The guys who are the most respected are the ones who are willing to admit - I don't know shit.

Sooo, you macho guys out there try a little tenderness. Don't do it for them, do it for you. You'll be surprised how good it feels when you tenderly stroke your spouse or girlfriends face. You'll be surprised how great a response you'll get from your spouse or girlfriend when you tenderly kiss her for no specific reason.

You'll be surprised how good it will feel to hug a man friend especially when he hugs you back. If you've been living your life as a macho man because you were taught and shown that's what real men are supposed to do:

Try A Little Tenderness.

Be Good To Yourself

Be Good To Yourself

It's that time of year when, for some of you, giving to others makes you feel good. It's that time of year where, for some of you, giving is a tradition. It's that time of year where, for some of you, giving is expected and not always appreciated. It's that time of year where, for some of you, the only reason you're giving is because you know the other people are going to give you something. It's that time of year where, for some of you, giving is out of guilt not because you want to or that it makes you feel good.

But, WHAT ABOUT ME? This is that time of year where you need to put yourself in first position. This is that time of year where you pamper yourself. This is that time of year where you do something special for yourself. This is that time of year where you buy yourself something you always wanted. This is that time of year where you love yourself just a little bit more than anybody else.

Sounds selfish especially during the holiday season, but making yourself happy should always be your primary goal in life. Mothers, fathers, religious leaders, kids, etc., guilt you into putting yourself in second position and give to those who are less fortunate than you. Sounds good in theory, but it will never make you a happy person putting yourself in second position.

It is possible to keep yourself in first position by giving to others as long as you're doing it because you love doing it. Seeing that smiling face on a less fortunate person can be as rewarding as getting something from others. However, spending money you can't afford even if it is on someone less fortunate will have the opposite effect you expected by giving. It's bad karma to become resentful because you feel like you're always giving and never getting back the same.

Getting what you want and deserve, especially on these holidays, will not only eliminate becoming resentful, it will make you feel loved and happy.  Feeling loved and happy enables you to give more to others because you feel you're in a great place. Feeling you're in a great place and in first position, enables you to not feel guilty by getting something for yourself or from others. Feeling loved, happy and guilt free enables you to love giving to others. This is what I call the happiness circle.

Sooo, don't wait for others to decide what you deserve. You know you're a good person. You know you care about others. You know that if you're giving something to others is coming from the goodness in your heart.

This can only happen if you put yourself in first position and always:

Be Good To Yourself

Knock Knock Knock-in On Heavens Door

Knock Knock Knock-in On Heavens Door

Are you doing everything in your power to put yourself in a position to be knock, knock, knock-in on heaven's door? Are you just going about your business on a daily basis assuming you'll get in? Do you make decisions with your money and how you treat others because it's important that you'll be in a position to be knock-in on heaven's door? Do you really give a shit if you get in? Do you even believe there is a heavens door to be knocked on?

I'm of the latter. What I do with my life has nothing to do with me wanting to be knock, knock, knock-in on heaven's door. The decisions I make with my money and how I treat other people has nothing to do with trying to get through that door. I'm happiest when I do good for myself and others. I leave it up to religious people to believe their actions have anything to do with a mystical place called heaven.

I guess it makes some people feel good that there is a heaven and a hell. That way they can feel that evil in the world will burning in hell when they die. That way they can feel great when they do something selfless because it increases their chances of getting through heaven's door. To both of those feelings, I'm calling bullshit.

Evil people are going to the same demise as good people. When they die, they are either going into the ground or their ashes will go where the people who have the rights to determine where to put them will prevail. I know I sound cynical, but living my life or judging how other people live their life is not for me. 

Unless they are mentally ill, evil people are unhappy people. They hate themselves as much as they hate others. They know what they are doing when they do bad things. Their inter-person is full of loathing for their adult self. They laugh at the outside world for being suckers. They show no remorse for the bad deeds they do. However, unless they are just plain crazy, they are already living in their own created hell.

Good people don't need heaven to justify their good deeds. The things they do makes them happy. Happiness is their goal. Helping others, not cheating on their taxes, making a positive contribution to society, etc. enables them to be in heaven on this earth. 

Who the hell wants to wait to die before we can be rewarded with the greatness that some of us call heaven? I want to be rewarded NOW. I do the right thing because it makes me proud of myself NOW! I give unconditional love to myself and others because it feels so good NOW. 

This heaven and hell crap can hold you back from enjoying the goodness of today. This heaven and hell bullshit is not going to make an evil person less evil. If you focus on how you engage the world today you will be either rewarded with positive energy or negative energy. It's your choice NOT some religious teachings that was passed down to you by your parents or someone else who used heaven and hell to set your path in life.

To those who hate this blog make sure you do everything right even if it makes you unhappy soooo, when you die, you'll be:

Knock, Knock, Knock-in On Heavens Door.

Say It Loud, Say It Proud - I Am An American

Say It Loud, Say It Proud - I Am An American

It's so easy to look at America from the negative side of the pendulum. School shootings, race problems, police issues, income inequality, sex abuse, domestic violence, political constipation, etc.

Well, if America sucks so badly than why do we believe we have an immigration problem? The answer is we do because many, many more people want to come to America to create a better life for themselves than unhappy Americans who want to get the hell out of America.

The good in America is overwhelmingly stronger than the negative shit that some of us do to ourselves and others. We have many, many people risking death to protect us. It's not just the military. I agree some police have done some things that are not forgivable, but, many of them face danger on a daily basis. As much as I hate what's been happening with the police lately, I never want to judge until I've walked in their shoes.

People coming together to protest things that are wrong with America are one of the things that makes me love the country I live in. We have the right to protest (without violence) because America gives us that right. How many other countries don't give their citizens that right?

The right to get rid of the people who run our country via our right to vote is what makes America great. Yes, one or two terms of Congress could screw things up (can you spell the Vietnamese War), but because we have the right to protest and vote, we have proven we can make changes that brings America back on track. How many countries don't give their citizens the right to protest (without being put in jail)? Again, can you spell "Hong Kong?"

An economy that thrives on the creativity and creation of Corporations is what keeps America strong. Many believe Corporations are bad guys, however, where would we be without them? The answer is North Korea. The belief of communism is that everyone should be financially equal. However, what has been proven is that in a communist society everyone shares the poverty not the riches. It's those poor people who want to come to America.

Yes, we have a race and sexuality issue in this country, but the truth is those Americans are in the vast minority. The fantastic part of being an American is that those people have the same rights as the majority who believe race and sexuality should not stop anyone from creating a happy life in America.

Yes, we have income inequality in America. I worry about that because the middle class is shrinking. However, the citizens who are getting the least out of America are doing better than the country they fled from or others in many other countries. I brought myself up from poverty because America gave me the opportunity. Others who don't have as many choices as I had or don't want to take advantage of the options America gives them, are still living better than more than half of the world.

Yes, we have angry people or mentally ill people that do horrible things. I believe in stronger gun controls. However, we can't make America perfect. It's the imperfections in America that makes it the strongest and most respected countries in the world. It is these imperfections that has developed us to be the country that will continue to work to make a wrong right. Yes, it happens slower than many of us would like, but look back at what we were like a hundred years ago (can you spell slavery).

Yes, we have sexual abuse and domestic violence in America. However, those few situations have given America's FREE press and media a wake up call that this abuse exists. Because the free press and media has given us the information, we as Americans can, and I believe, will do what we can to stop or reduce the violence. This was happening ten, twenty, fifty and more than a hundred years ago, but until now the free media has encouraged us to say "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore." How many women and some men in other countries are still hiding in the shows because nobody in their country gives a shit

Yes, we have political gridlock in this country. So what? How is your life affected by the gridlock that has been going on for many, many years? The answer is - not much. Differences in Congress are better than dictatorship. American is a great place to be because we have these differences. Many other countries don't tolerate political differences. 

Would you rather live in a country that can have political differences or a country that not only disallows differences, but doesn't even give you the vote to change the political gridlock? The option to vote gives Americans the chance to fix what is broken. If we get it wrong the first time, we still have another vote, years later, to set it straight.

I'm unhappy with the horrible shit that's going on in the country I love. However, because I truly believe everything I stated above, I'm;

Saying It Loud - Saying It Proud - I Am An American.

Waiting On The World To Change

Waiting On The World To Change

Good luck waiting on the world to change. It's just not going to happen in our lifetime. I'm not trying to depress you - it's just the facts. It's like waiting for John Beresford Tipton, Jr. to show up at your door to give you a million dollars (if you're too young to know who he is, I'm jealous -  if you're old, like me, and remember him from the 1955 TV series "The Millionaire," then hopefully these are your best of times).

It's very important to accept this is the world we live in and it's not going to change in our future. Sooo, now what? Do we allow ourselves to get depressed and frustrated over a f..ked up world or do we do something about it?

In my last blog "Bring Back That Loving Feeling" I suggested hugging could change the world. However, I also stated, in that blog, that the probability of that happening was zilch. What I did say was an assurance that if you do hug people more often your happiness will be enriched.

That leads me to the point of this blog - stopping waiting on the world to change. Stop waiting for your friends, spouse, boss, etc. etc. to change. Stop waiting for your financial situation to change. Stop waiting for your medical problems to change. Just stop waiting.

Life is right in front of you. You can accept it or you can change it or you can do both. Let's talk about accepting your life as it is today. If you're reading my blogs, your life is pretty good. You have food to eat, air to breath and shelter - all the other stuff, in your life, is cosmetic. 

If you sat down today and wrote about all of the things that are good about your life, you would be shocked at the length of the list. The problem with many of us is it's easier to think about all of the bad shit that's going on with you. 

Some of the worse things in life don't have to be showstoppers. Cancer sucks. However, even if the doctors have given you six months to live, is no excuse to stop getting the most out of what you have left NOW! Having a bad back is nothing compared to cancer. Sooo, if that's what's making you miserable - get over it!

Even if the love of your life died, is not a good reason to stop loving life. Your loved one would never want you to give up. You have to stop waiting on the world to change. You have to write down what you can do to create as much happiness that's available to you. I promise you it's more than you think.

Even if you have major financial problems, is no reason not to live a good life. Think about the illegals that live on less than minimum wage. They have friends. They have food. They have good times with their family. They love and are loved. You will always be better off financially than them so be proud and happy that money is not ruling your life.

Accepting your life today is critical. Changing your life for the better is as critical. We can only change what we have the power to change. You'll be surprised how long a list you'll create by writing down all the things you can and will change.

Want (notice I did not say need) more money - work more. You're probably thinking "well that sucks." It doesn't have to suck. Why not focus on what's good about your job instead of complaining about what's horrible about your job.

Want a companion, go to places where you can easily find people to talk to. I assure you the more people you share your life with the better your chances of finding a companion.

Want your medical problems to go away, take all the steps necessary to make that happen. Some of those steps will require you to do things you prefer not to do. But, make up your mind as to what's more important to you. You can choose to keep your medical problems and bitch about it all day or you can choose to eat healthier, exercise, lose weight, see a specialist, etc. etc. It's your choice. Bitching will never make you better nor will it ever make you happy.

My choice in life is to do both accepting the cards that were dealt to me and changing the things I have the power and control to change. What I refuse to do is:

Waiting ON The World To Change

Bring Back That Loving Feeling

Bring Back That Loving Feeling

Have you lost that loving feeling? Does every day seem like the day before? Does your passion for life only revolve around your favorite football team, shopping, reading or playing Candy Crush on your tablet? When was the last time you really, really hugged someone? When was the last time you really, really rooted for someone other than yourself?

I could go on and on because I'm getting a sense that we, as a human race, are losing that loving feeling. The truth is that the only way to make this world a better place is to bring back that loving feeling. The truth is that the only way to create a happier life for yourself is to bring back that loving feeling.

Here is what I want you to do today - HUG someone. I don't care who - just do it to the first person you see after you've read this blog. BTW, I'm not talking about pat on the back. I'm talking about giving the other person a big bear hug while squeeze with all your strength. 

I'm sure that person will be shocked. I'm sure you'll be shocked. However, I'm also sure the two of you will feel great after the hug. The other person will probably ask you: "what was that all about?" Your answer should be: "I'm just bringing back that loving feeling."

Don't be surprised if the other person grabs you and give you a big bear hug. Bringing back that loving feeling is infectious. It also has a multiplier effect. Two people hug - those two people then hug two other people - those four people hug another four people - those eight people hug eight more people and before you know it the world becomes a better place and you become a happier person.

Some of you are probably thinking hugging is bullshit. In my opinion, those people haven't been hugged in a long, long time (if at all). Most of you probably think there is no way hugging people will make the world a better place. Maybe you're right, but not doing so sure as hell isn't working. At a minimum you'll be happier the more people you hug.

My mother had that loving feeling her whole life. Oh sure she worried a lot, but when it came to people, she loved them all. I enjoyed every hug she gave me. My father on the other hand never hugged me. He had lost that loving feeling early in life.

At forty, I decided to hug my father. I traveled from Los Angeles to Philadelphia to hug my father. It felt so good when he hugged me back. We both cried. That was the first time I saw my father cry. We did a lot of hugging until he died.

Sooo, I'm asking you - no I'm begging you to:

Bring Back That Loving Feeling

Thanksgiving - It's Not About The Turkey

Thanksgiving - It's Not About The Turkey

Thanks for the times you have given me

Thanks for my health even though I ache all over

Thanks for the friends who wish me well and want me to be happy

Thanks for letting me turn 70 with my brain intact even though I have CRS (Can't Remember Shit)

Thanks for the next 24 years I plan to enjoy with all my heart

Thanks for my beautiful (both inside and outside) wife who always makes me feel mighty, mighty real

Thanks for a dad who taught me about the importance of hard work

Thanks for a dad who gave me a bright brain even though he also gave me bad bumpers (bad back, bad spine and bad knees) 

Thanks for a mom who loved and hugged me all the time.

Thanks for a mom who taught me to be tolerant to every race, religion and sexual orientation

Thanks for the money I've made that has enabled me to have choices in our American way of life

Thanks for Bob who got me to believe I was in control of my happiness and could choose happiness over negativism

Thanks for me because since 40 years old I've been making all the right choices

Thanks for me because I love what I've become

Thanks for the people around the world who read my blogs and my books because it makes me feel valued

Thanks for my mentored clients who have enhanced their happiness because of something I gave to them

Thanks to all the people who give positive energy out to the Universe so they and the rest of us could have a better life

Thanks to America for giving me and most others a chance to create a better life

Thanks to all the people around the world who believe love, tolerance and freedom will win out over totalitarianism and terrorism

To all of you on this wonderful holiday;

Focus on the things to be thankful for and not the turkey

The Grass Ain't Always Greener

The Grass Ain't Always Greener

Are you one of the people who believe the grass is always greener on the other side? Are you one of the ones who believe the grass ain't always greener on the other side? Are you one of the ones who don't give a shit either way?

People who believe the grass is always greener may be procrastinators. People who believe the grass ain't always greener may be pessimists.  People who don't give a shit are either the happiest people in the world or the most negative people in the world.

Personally, I don't want to count on the grass being greener because that means I'm counting on the future instead of living in the present. I truly believe the future will be fabulous. However, I also believe that the decisions and actions I make today will help create that fantastic future.

I'm neither a procrastinator nor a pessimist. What I am is a realist. I believe I'm in control of my happiness. I believe I can choose a path toward happiness or I can choose a path toward negative energy. Either way it's MY choice. Therefore, I choose the path where the grass ain't always greener. 

Choosing that path will keep me centered. Choosing that path will keep me real. Choosing that path will enable me to focus on my happiness today instead of hoping it will be greener in the future.

Because I'm the blogger, I have the luxury to talk out of both sides of my mouth. To that end, the times I believe the grass will be greener is when I'm having a really bad day. Doing so gives me the power to believe tomorrow will be a better day. Therefore, sometimes when I need to believe the grass will be greener; it enables me to get through a bad day with a smile on my face.

OK, enough about me, what about YOU? Do you allow yourself to sometimes become a grass ain't always greener person and sometimes a grass is always greener person? If the answer is YES, you get it. If the answer is NO, you need to take steps to find more happiness in your life.

Just remember, you have the option to be happy. You can choose to make minor and major decisions that will lead to your happiness. Some of those decisions might be painful today, but if you don't procrastinate, all of those decisions will lead to a happier life.

The best way to allow yourself to make those happiness decisions today is to believe:

The Grass Ain't Always Greener.

These Are The Best Of Times

These Are The Best Of Times

Do you believe these are the best of times? It's hard to feel that way because the media is bombarding us with negative energy. However, unless you're going through something horrible like the loss of a child or cancer or divorce etc. these ARE the best of times.

We're living longer. There are more options to get you through both physical and mental health problems. Even cancer is not the death sentence it was ten years ago. The government is making an effort to get us to eat healthy by forcing food companies to label what's in their stuff. The government is trying to protect us by forcing companies to recall dangerous products. The government does care about our safety.

When I grew up, companies ruled. They made sure the government didn't get in their way. So what if cars were not safe. So what if a child seat was not safe. So what if the food we ate had carcinogenics in it. So what if companies polluted our air. So what if banks and Wall Street screwed us out of money.

Some say the government is getting too involved in our lives. I say, these are the best of times. Some say, the government is forcing too many regulations on companies. I say, my 401K has never done better. I say, I feel safer because of these regulations. I say, I'm eating better because of these regulations. I say, I'm breathing better because of these regulations. I say, these are the best of times.

The people who don't believe these are the best of times are people filled with negative energy. The media gets them to worry about terrorists destroying their way of life. They don't eat right and don't exercise. They get fat and depressed because they get sick more often. They get diseases like diabetes because they're fat, depressed and see everything with a glass half empty attitude. 

They just have a hard time focusing on what good is happening around them. They even let negative events around the globe make them miserable even if nothing bad is happening to them here and now. These people will never accept that these are the best of times.

Now, look at people like me. I remember how much harder life was for my parents. I remember people that died of problems and/or diseases that today are cured easily. I remember how cars broke down all the time because quality over profits was not a priority. I remember where options for restaurants, shopping and entertainment were very limited.

Today, I have more options to have a better life than ever before. That is true for most of us. I'm pretty sure ninety percent of the people reading my blogs have more options to create a happier life than ever before. However, it's up to the individual.

You can look at your life as: "I wish I could go back to the past" or you can look at your life as:

These Are The Best Of Times.

Taking You Home

  Taking You Home

 

Sometimes, in a quiet moment, you plug in your ear buds and listen to a song on your music device that hit at the heart of your being. Today, that song was "Taking You Home" by Don Henley (Eagles lead singer). 

I thought about how I could modify the words of this song to express my love for my wife, but after some time, I realized Henley's words were perfect for what I wanted to communicate to her.

I wish everyone who reads my blogs has someone in their lives that justifies the words below. If not, don't stop trying. You deserve it.

DON HENLEY

Taking You Home Lyrics

(Don Henley/Stan Lynch/Stuart Brawley)

I had a good life
Before you came
I had my friends and my freedom
I had my name
Still there was sorrow and emptiness
'Til you made me glad
Oh, in this love I found strength I never knew I had

And this love
Is like nothing I have ever known
Take my hand, love
I'm taking you home
I'm taking you home

There were days, lonely days
When the world wouldn't throw me a crumb
But I kept on believing
That this day would come

And this love
Is like nothing I have ever known
Take my hand, love
I'm taking you home
I'm taking you—home
Where we can be with the ones who really care
Home, where we can grow together
Keep you in my heart forever

And this love
Is like nothing I have ever known
Take my hand, love
I'm taking you home
Taking you home.

Everybody Wants Me To Be What They Want Me To Be

Everybody Wants Me To Be What They Want Me To Be. 

I've spent the first fifty years trying to be what everybody wanted me to be. In business everybody wanted me to be a manager. I accepted because I wanted more money and the pride of telling everyone I was a manager. My parents were proud because their son was a manager.

The truth is that at twenty years old I didn't want to be a manager. I was a great computer programmer and could no longer enjoy my creative art of programming because I had to manage six other people. There's a line in the song "Easy" by the Commodores that goes "I'm not happy when I try to fake it." I faked it for all the wrong reasons.

Everybody wanted me to become a father. There's a line in the Broadway show "Come Blow Your Horn" where the Mother says to her successful son: "you're a bum." The son asks back: "Mom, why am I a bum when I'm a successful business man?" The Mom says: "have you given me grandchildren?" The son says "no." The Mother says: then you're a bum."

I grew up with that kind of mentality in my family and the families of my friends. My friends were older, married and had children. Everybody wanted me to be what they wanted me to be - a parent. Sooo, I did what they wanted me to do. I got married and had children.

The truth is, I don't like kids. I wasn't a great father. I choose my career over becoming a nurturing parent. I choose making money over spending quality time with my kids. I became what they wanted me to be, but I wasn't happy about it. I consider myself very lucky that my kids turned out OK. I don't have a relationship with my oldest son, but I have a great relationship with my youngest son, his fabulous wife and my two grandkids.

In my thirties and forties everybody wanted me to be a senior executive. My bosses kept promoting me because I was a great executive and made their business life easier. I liked the responsibility and the power that came with being an executive, but as I got near fifty that became much less important to me.

At fifty, I decided I was no longer going to be what they wanted me to be. I was going to be what I wanted me to be.  I realized: "I'm not happy when I try to fake it." I now love what I've become and the people around me love what I've become.

Sooo, what's your story? Are you still trying to be what they want you to be? Do you continue to fake it? They will never stop. Everybody will always want you to be what they believe you should be. It's on you to turn the action around and say:

I Want To Be What I Always Wanted To Be - That's My Primary Goal!

Time May Change Me, But I Can't Change Time

Time May Change Me, But I Can't Change Time

Over the many years of my life I've experienced significant change. Some for the better - some for the worst. However, it wasn't until I realized and accepted that time will change me no matter how hard I didn't want to become the person I became or how hard I want time to change me to become the person I always wanted to become.

As a kid I hated time. It was going so fast and I wasn't able to slow it down. I didn't want it to change me, but the events of my childhood made it almost impossible to stop. I had to grow up much faster than I wanted. I had to become the man of my family much sooner than I wanted. Why couldn't I just go to school and play games with my friends instead of working with my father and mother so we could keep a roof over our head?

I got married way too soon and had children way too soon. Time changed me from being a fun loving bachelor to a stressed out parent. I wanted to change what time was doing to me, but I couldn't change time.

As time went on many good things were happening in my life. The problem was I didn't take as much time appreciating them as I did focusing on the stress of the negative things. At thirty five I was in fight or flight mode where flight was winning out. Time was changing me, but I wasn't sure it was going to be for the better. The one thing I did realize was that I couldn't change what time had already done to me. 

Then in my forties, time was changing me in ways I hoped for when I was in my twenties. I was more confident. I appreciated life and living more. I trusted and respected myself more. I accepted the world around me more. I loved unconditionally even when I didn't get what I wanted. My words were positive. My actions were positive. I was giving positive energy out to the Universe and getting back as much as I was giving.

When my sixties showed up, time was again moving too fast. I was having so much fun and I wanted time to slow down. I loved the way time was changing me and I looked forward to how time would change me in the future. I knew I couldn't change time from the past, but I no longer focused on the bad stuff it did to me. I knew time would continue to change me in the future, but I also knew that change would be a positive one.

Sooo, where are you on the timeline of your life? Are you taking time to look forward or are you using time to hate the past. Have you realized and accepted that;

Time Will Change You, But You Can't Change Time?

 

Hurts So Good

Hurts So Good

I just got back from the gym where my trainer worked on my legs and my core. I know tomorrow I'm going to be sore as hell, but as they say; "Hurts So Good."

Having someone break-up with you - sucks. However, if you stop focusing on the break-up and start immediately focusing on good stuff that lies ahead, you'll meet someone that will be a better fit than the asshole who dumped you. Sooo, in the end, the hurt of a break-up will: "Hurt So Good." 

You know that going to a fabulous party with your good friends and getting smashed while dancing and laughing all night is going to make you pay the next day. Your whole body aches. Your head is pounding and your stomach feels like shit, but if you focus on the great time you had at the party, your brain will say; "Hurts So Good."

Breaking a leg hurts a lot, but if you focus on all the good stuff that comes with a broken leg, then the leg; "Hurts So Good." Sooo, you say; "what good stuff comes with a broken leg?" First, your friends feel bad for you and do everything they can to make you feel comfortable. Second, you get out of doing a whole lot of things you never wanted to do in the first place. Third, a broken leg won't stop you from doing most fun things if you focus on your happiness and not your leg.

Therefore, focus on the good stuff and not on the "woe is me." By doing so, the pain in your leg will; "Hurts So Good."

Life can be full of; "Hurts So Good" if you love life and want to get the most out of it. I've lived a life of pain and pleasure. I've had and have physical pain. I've had emotional pain. Now I have a great life and look forward to a wonderful future. I know I will have pain in the future, but I also know I will make it feel like;

Hurts So Good

Time For Clothes Off

Time For Clothes Off

With all the bad stuff going on in the world, I thought it's time for a lighthearted blog. My wife and I watch TV from eight o'clock to ten o'clock (sometimes eleven o'clock) most nights. Even when we go out for dinner or just happy hour, by around seven thirty we look at each other and say; "time for clothes off."

One of the pluses of being seniors is we don't have to stay all night at a boring party or go out drinking until the wee hours of the night. If the party is going great, we stay. If the party sucks - "time for clothes off." If the restaurant is something special, we eat late. If the restaurant is casual or we're going just for happy hour - "time for clothes off."

Now that I'm retired, we don't have to go to any business parties or dinners. However, even when we had to attend business parties or dinners the same rules applied. Good party we stay, bad party - "time for clothes off." Good dinner we stay, bad dinner - "time for clothes off."

What do I mean when I say; "time for clothes off?" It means just that. When we get home we take our clothes off and get into something that we would never wear in public. The clothes are so comfortable we could stay in them for the rest of our lives. No tight waistbands. No tight shirts. No underwear - my boys need to breathe. 

We don't look very sexy, but, since we've been together for twenty nine years, who gives a shit. I get horny for Ellen just looking into her eyes. The knowledge that she's not wearing underwear brings a smile to my one eyed monster. OK, it's not a monster, but would you believe it's a Dodger Dog - OK, would you believe it's a cocktail frank.

What about you? Does your routine include "time for clothes off?" Do you stay at parties that suck because you don't want to hurt the host's feelings? Do you go to dinner with people that are boring because it will enhance your social or business situation? Do you stay up real late with friends because you want to feel young again? Do you and your spouse or friend have a signal that says; "time for clothes off?"

If you say yes to the first four questions, you're not focused on your happiness. If you say yes to the fifth question, you have matured to a level where you've put your happiness in first position.

Here is the most important question; "when you get home, do you take your clothes off and get comfortably ugly? Are you afraid to let your spouse or friend see you with clothes that don't match, but are super comfortable? How do you feel about swing in the wind without underwear? 

Trust me, you'll never really get to know your spouse or friend until you see them ugly. Hugging in comfortable clothes is much better than hugging in party or business clothes. Hugging someone who isn't wearing any underwear is more thrilling than hugging someone who has layers protecting the good stuff. 

Sooo, say it loud and say it proud:

"TIME FOR CLOTHES OFF"

It Was A Very Good Year

It Was A Very Good Year

When I was seventeen, it was a very good year
I had lots of friends who I could make smile

I loved working in my dad's store making him smile

I had a girlfriend who made me smile

Life was easy when you had a little green
When I was seventeen

 

When I was twenty-one, it was a very good year

I was able to get my computer career going

I loved the computer business and I was growing

My friends were older, but they took me in

I made more money and that was no sin

I was married and had my first son

When I was twenty-one

When I was thirty-five, it was a very good year

My divorce was over and I started my new life

I was in computer sales and that was real nice

I loved mentoring the people who I managed

I had great sex and for the first time felt privileged

I was full of energy and drive

When I was thirty-five

 

And now the days are short, I'm in the autumn of my years
And I think of my life as vintage wine
From fine old kegs
From the brim to the dregs
It poured sweet and clear
It was, is and going to be a very good year

  

I've Got A Feeling

I've Got A Feeling   

I've got a feeling that the United States military is conditioning us for an Iraqi type war. You need three things to go to war in America. First, you have to scare the shit out of Americans by telling them the enemy is going to destroy our American way of life. The Islamic State terrorists (ISIL) are helping our military do so by graphically showing the beheading of innocent people.

Second, the military has to convince Americans that the only way to stop the people who are going to destroy America is via war. Key generals in the military today and previous military generals are already saying we have to destroy ISIL and the only way to do so is to have American boots on the ground.

Third, you have to start and end the war with military volunteers. The mistake the military made in the Vietnam War was the draft. The military and the politicians convinced us the Vietnamese were capable to destroy our way of life if we did not stop them. However, after years of war the young kids who were being or going to be drafted shouted BULLSHIT! 

It was those kids that ended the war not the military or the politicians. They risked being put in jail by protesting the war. They risked being shot and killed by protesting the war. They risked losing their American citizenship by going to Canada and other countries. Their voice became so loud the military and the politicians had to say "UNCLE." 

The Iraq war started when we convinced the American people that the Iraqis had weapons of mass destruction. That scared the shit out of most of us. The military also convinced us that the only way to destroy the baddies was with boots on the ground. Lastly, the military only used men and women who volunteered to fight (no draft). 

Well, we all know now what a bad idea that was. The basic premise (weapons of mass destruction) was BULLSHIT and what did we accomplish - ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! The American people don't like or want war. President Obama will try his best to not go to war. However, I've got a feeling.


I've got a feeling that tonight's going to be a good night. My wife and I are going to our local bar and meet up with our friends. We will laugh out loud, dance our asses off to the fabulous singer and eat happy hour food that is specifically created to raise our cholesterol and take us to an inch away from having a heart attack.

After the bar, my wife and I are going to go home and make love like we did twenty five years ago. Yes, I've go a feeling that tonight's going to be a good night - tonight's going to be a good night - yes, tonight's going to be a good, good night - I've got a feeling.

 
I've got a feeling that marijuana is going to be legal in ninety percent of the states within ten years. It started with alcohol being banned. That ban was created by religious people, politicians and gangsters that didn't want to pay taxes or have competition. The reason prohibition stopped was because the gangsters were winning, more people were becoming alcoholics then before prohibition and the states needed the taxes.

The ban on marijuana is taking the same course. It was created by religious people, politicians who were convinced that everyone would get high and destroy our economy and gangsters that didn't want to pay taxes or have competition. There was one major problem with marijuana that wasn't a problem with prohibition. The drug companies, the cigarette companies and the alcohol companies are not sure how to make money selling Pot. 



Alcohol is hard to make. Even beer is a pain in the ass to make and so cheap it's just not worth it. Marijuana is a weed. Just get some great seeds, put them in some good soil where there is excellent sunlight and water them a few times a week. In a few months you'll have enough Pot to last you for years. How the hell can these companies make money on that?



The state's first decision was to allow stores to sell medical marijuana and collect taxes. Well, we all know that's bullshit. Anyone can get a prescription for marijuana. I've got a feeling the next step will be to stop policing marijuana (which doesn't work and costs the states too much money) and encourage the drug companies and the cigarette companies, etc. to produce and sell Pot. That way everyone wins.

The gangsters will lose their revenue stream. The companies will make money (who wouldn't buy a few joints for a dollar instead of trying to grow the stuff at home), the states will collect the taxes they desperately need and the police plus the Feds can concentrate on real crime. 

The end result will be the same as what happened after prohibition. No more people will be getting high than today. The rules for kids will be the same as for alcohol. Parents have the responsibility to educate their kids and make sure they don't do stuff they shouldn't be doing.

For the few who choose to get high (I'm not one of them), 

I've Got A Feeling that tonight's going to be a good night - tonight's going to be a good night - yes, tonight's going to be a good, good night.