Its Not My Grip On Reality That Im Worried About Its Realities Grip On Me

 Its Not My Grip On Reality That I'm Worried About Its Realities Grip On Me

Another line in the funnies I read every day, "Its Not My Grip On Reality That I'm Worried About Its Realities Grip On Me: by Frank and Ernest. 

I currently live in the world of reality. My sister lived in the world of fantasy. Sooo, for me, Its Not My Grip On Reality That I'm Worried About Its Realities Grip On Me. Reality had a huge grip on me through my two devoices and losing loved ones. This negative reality greatly affected my happiness.

I have a bad back which is my current reality. However, my loving Joyce is also a reality for me. I love her grip on me and I love my reality of her. The thing that's most important to all of us is to accept reality for now and do what you can do to make it a positive.

Worrying about a negative reality that might or might not happen in the future, is dysfunction and will never lead to happiness. One way a person can achieve happiness is to create a positive reality in their future.

Just one example is that after losing my Ellen to heart attack, I decided to create a positive reality by finding Joyce. I could have curled up in a ball and lived in the reality of losing Ellen forever. I love life and I want a loving companion. I don't think it's just luck finding Joyce. I pushed myself to find a reality that makes me happy.

What about YOU? Have you accepted your current negative reality or do you love life enough to create a reality that makes you happy?

This is good stuff

 This is good stuff

🚩Between the age of 55 and the time of death, it is advisable to use the money you have saved. Use it and enjoy it.

Don't save it for those who have no idea the sacrifices you made to get it.

Remember, there is nothing more disgusting than a son or daughter-in-law coming up with great ideas to spend their hard earned savings.

🚩 Warning: This is also a bad time for investments, even if it sounds wonderful or safe. They only bring problems and worries

It's time for you to enjoy life.

🚩Stop worrying about your children and grandchildren's financial situation, and don't feel bad about spending your money on yourself.

You cared for them for many years, and taught them what you can.

You gave them education, food, shelter and support.

Now it's their responsibility to make their own money.

🚩Maintain a healthy life, without much physical effort.

Do moderate exercise (like walking every day), eat well and sleep plenty.

It's easy to get sick at this age and it becomes harder to stay healthy.

This is why you need to stay fit and be aware of your medical and physical needs.

Stay in touch with your doctor, get medical checkups even when you think you're feeling well.

Please take care of your health.

🚩 Always buy the best, the most beautiful items to treat yourself.

The key is to enjoy your money with your partner.

One day one of you will miss each other, and money won't bring you any comfort; so, enjoy it together.

🚩 Don't stress over the small things.

You've overcome so much in life. You have good memories and bad memories, but what matters is the present.

Don't let the past train you and don't let the future intimidate you. Must feel good in the present.

🚩Don't lose sight of fashion trends for your age, but maintain your own sense of style.

You have developed your own sense of what is right for you, so keep it and be proud of yourself. It's part of who you are.

🚩 Always stay informed: read the newspapers, follow the news.

Go online and read what people are saying.

Make sure you have an active email account and try to use some of those social media.

You'll be surprised by the old friends you run into.

🚩 Respect the young generation and their opinions. They may not have the same ideas as you, but they are the future and they will take the world in their path. Give advice, not criticize, and try to remind them that yesterday's wisdom still applies today.

Never use the phrase, "In our time." “Your time is now. “As long as you are alive, you are part of the present.”

🚩Some people embrace their golden years, while others become bitter. Life is too short to waste days on sad moments. Spend your time with positive and cheerful people depends on you and your days will look much better.

🚩 Don't stress about having to live with your kids or grandkids. Sure, being with family sounds great, but we all need our privacy too. They need theirs and you need yours

Do it alone if you feel lonely and really need help or if you really don't want to live alone.

🚩 Don't quit your hobbies.

If you don't have one, make new ones.

You can travel, walk, cook, read, dance.

You can adopt a cat or a dog, grow a kitchen garden, play cards, checkers, chess, dominoes, golf, etc.

🚩 Talk to people politely and try not to complain or criticize too much, unless you really need to.

Try to accept situations as they are when you feel you can't do anything about it.

🚩 Pain and discomfort go hand in hand with age.

Try not to insist on those wounds, but accept them as part of life.

🚩If someone has offended you, forgive them.

If you have offended someone, apologize to them.

Don't carry negative feelings around.

It only serves to make you sad and destroy you unnecessarily. It doesn't matter who was right.

Someone once said, "Holding a grudge is like eating poison and waiting for the other person to die." " "

Don't take this poison.

Forgive, forget and move on with your life.

🚩 Laugh. Remember that you are blessed.

You have managed to live a long life.

Many never make it to this age and some never get to live a fulfilling life like yours.

My dear friends, enjoy a peaceful life at this stage of your life.. Don't stress yourself out .. 

Be happy !! 

In Order To Be Happy You Need 3 Things

 In Order To Be Happy You Need 3 Things

I read the funnies every morning. Believe it or not, my favorite funny is Pickles. This morning's Pickles wrote "In Order To Be Happy You Need 3 Things." I'll give you my positive interpretation.

"Something To Do" 

Doing and accomplishing something will make you happy. Sitting on you comfortable chair, doing nothing, won't make you happy. Read a book, take a walk, take up a hobby (I'm learning the guitar), meet friends, etc, etc, etc.

"Something To Love"

I love my car. I love my house. I love my pool. I love living in Vegas and most of all, I love my Joyce. What do you love? It's critical to love something if you want to be happy. It's easy to love a pet, because they give you unconditional love back. It's easy to love friends and family. However, try loving something that doesn't give back - I love writing my Blogs.

"Something To Hope For"

This is really important for your happiness. Losing hope will never make you happy. Even if what you hope for doesn't happen, at least you have hope for the future. I hope for world peace. Will it ever happen in my lifetime - I guess not. However, it makes me feel good to have that hope.

There are so many things for you to hope for. Try writing them down. Start with the ones that you can control. Next, pick ones that might happen. Lastly, pick ones that probably won't happen - you might get surprised.

I hope for being able to play my guitar in front of people. It's in my control if I practice enough. I hope for my bad back getting much better. I'm getting a stimulator inserted into my back so my back might get much better. Just hoping for that outcome makes me happy.

Lastly, I'm still hoping for world peace.

Try that exercise and you will be a happier person

Tough Times Don't Last - Tough People Last

 Tough Times Don't Last - Tough People Last

I believe most people have gone through times. Some are going through tough times now. For the majority of people, Tough Times Don't Last - Tough People Last. I'm one of them.

My first divorce was a disaster mostly because my wife stayed angry, my kids were at an age that changed their world (In retrospect, I should left much sooner when the kids were younger).The divorce ruined me financially. These were tough times for me.

It took me a few years, but I recovered because I loved life so much I became mentally tough. That made my work situation much better, but my social situation sucked. Then I made another big mistake.

I found someone completely different form my first wife. Completely different didn't work. My second divorce was a disaster. No kids, but I was mentally and financially (again) destroyed.

Why am I telling you all this? It's because Tough Times Don't Last - Tough People Last. With help from my friends and Bob, I got back to living and life again. I recovered and so can you.

If you survived times of disaster, but didn't come out the same, Get Tough. Life is too good to waste. Put yourself in FIRST POSTITION. Even before your kids, spouse, family and friends, you are in FIRST POSITION. Get all you deserve in life.

If you are in tough times now, believe you are tough enough to realize this too will change. Life will go on. Your love of life will improve and will get better if you're mentally tough.

For the few who don't love life, I feel sorry for you. You don't know what you're missing. Making yourself numb is not the answer. Don't try to do it on your own - get help anywhere you can. Believe you can become mentally tough enough to love life again.

These are tough times. This election has made many people sad or worse, depressed. It is what it is. Your life will be the same tomorrow and the next day and the next day. Stop believing your life will change for the worst. Remember, you're tough. You will survive any bad outcome. Be tough enough to lead and make life better for you and the ones you love. 

Today the stock market went crazy and made your financial situation better. On the social level, fight for what's right. Don't let them destroy what you believe in. In four years you'll get another shot. If all else fails, put yourself in first position and focus on YOUR life. They can't destroy YOU. Lastly, remember:

Loving And Fighting For A Good Life Will Always Prevail

Clint Eastwood

 Clint Eastwood, 94-year-old vegan actor legend, formulated one of the most important lessons of his life so far for the young generation:

"Don't look for luxury in watches or bracelets, don't look for luxury in villas or sailboats!

Luxury is laughter and friends, luxury is rain on your face, luxury is hugs and kisses.

Don't look for luxury in shops, don't look for it in gifts, don't look for it in parties, don't look for it in events!

Luxury is being loved by people, luxury is being respected, luxury is having your parents alive, luxury is being able to play with your grandchildren. Luxury is what money can't buy."

(2024)

When Things Come To An End - It's Just The Beginning

 When Things Come To An End - It's Just The Beginning

Looking at my life, I realized When Things Come To An End - It's Just The Beginning. The end of school was the beginning of my career. The end of one job was the beginning of a new and more exciting job. The end of my marriage was the beginning of my experience of being alone. The end of my second marriage was the beginning of My Ellen. The end of My Ellen (through death) was the beginning of my wonderful wife Joyce.

Too many people stop loving life when something comes to an end. The loss of a job is horrible, but if you still love life and focus on the kind of job you want, you will find another job that makes you happier.

Most of us know someone that has lost a loved one. The death of a spouse or a child is devastating. Did you ever hear someone say: "after his wife died, he never got over it and died soon thereafter." How sad is that! I know of two people that were never the same after losing a loved one. Not going after a new beginning when you've lost a love, is giving up the wonderful life you still can have.

Many events in your life will end. Usually, when they do, it's time to change your attitude. Spend more time going after the new beginning rather than focusing on the end of an old one. Here is a verse in the John Fogerty song: "I saw it on TV"

It's Time To Laugh, Time To Sing, And Time To Join The Band

Climate Change

 Climate Change

Climate Change IS REAL. Twenty five present of Americans believe climate change is not real. This includes the guy running for President. That's over a hundred million Americans who don't believe in climate change.

I have to wonder what has to happen, around the world, for these Americans to realize climate change is not only real, it's going to get worse in the years to come. There are a lot of Americans who want to believe we will solve the climate change problem with technology. Being a computer scientist, I'm calling bullshit.

First, if we do create a solution to climate change, it won't be before I and many, many others are dead. Second, who is to say the solution won't create other major problems. There is a reason insurance companies won't sell insurance in coastal and fire areas. What do they know that the twenty five percent don't know? Lastly, there is a reason we are going to put colonies of people on Mars. Could NASA know the Earth will be in trouble fifty years from now?

Where are the young people? I'll be long gone before climate change affects me personally. However, if you're eighteen today, climate change Will affect you personally in your future. Sooo, why don't young people say: I'm mad as hell and, I'm not going to take it anymore." Why, except for one woman, aren't young people marching on the government like they did to stop the Vietnam war?

I believe it's because we are a "today" people. Young people don't worry about their future like my generation did. Instant gratification is what drives them. Thirty years from now, they will blame the government for allowing climate change to have a significant impact on their lives.

OK, what can my generation do to help the young generation?

Vote For Those Who Believe Climate Change Is Real And Will Do Something About It Now

Are You What You Eat

 Are You What You Eat

You are what you eat. I say that saying is bullshit. You are who you are based on many things other than what you eat. If you've been reading my blogs, you know what you have to focus on to become the great person you are. Diet has nothing to do with who you are. A healthy diet is about living a longer life. 

If you want to live longer and have less health problems, many books, media doctors and the internet all have recommendations for eating healthy. Some of them are good because you enjoy what you are eating. Some of them are horrible because you really hate what you're eating. Lastly some of them are bad for your health.

My favorite is the low carb Keto diet. Why because I love fish, seafood chicken and many other things you can eat that are Keto Friendly. Also, there are many choices of desserts that are Keto friendly. I found Keto friendly bars that taste great and don't have an after taste. Recently, we found an ice cream and cake mix that tastes like the real stuff. A great desert is important to me.

The Mediterranean diet is about the same as the Keto diet. High protein, high fat diet is a heart killer. Going Vegan sucks. I could never be on a diet that didn't have many of the things I love to eat. When you're in your 70s/80s food is part of your entertainment. Eating food that is good for you, controls your weight and tastes good should be your goal.

The only problem is that too many of us get nuts when we go on one of these diets. Either we get worried that we might have eaten something that wasn't on the diet or we go full out on the diet for a few months and then go back to eating bad again. It's not healthy for your body to go through those swings.

I love my Keto diet, but every once in a while:

I'm eating a great juicy burger.

Music=Memories=Memory=Happiness

 Music=Memories=Memory=Happiness

I grew up with music. I only liked the black groups - Pat Boone was not my style. I loved the disk jockey Jocko who would end his session saying: "I'm like a roach on a post - too smooth to move." The music and especially the beat, made me happy.

I had and have great memories from some of the songs. Some of the songs reminded me of the fun basement parties we had in my teens. Some of the songs reminded me of the girlfriends I had. Back in my day when you went steady, you had to have a song that was just for you and her.

Some of the songs reminded me of the horrible Vietnam days. At that time I hated the politicians who were drafting young people to die in an unjust war. My best friend's brother came back from that war and was never the same.

One song saved my mental health. That song was The Rose by Bette Midler. I was going through a stressful and financially difficult second divorce. The Rose's lyrics:

                                        "When the night has been too lonely

                                  And the road has been too long

                                  And you think that love is only

                                  For the lucky and the strong

                                 Just remember in the winter    

                                  Far beneath the bitter snows            
                                  Lies the seed that with the sun's love

                                  In the spring becomes the rose"

Those words (and the help from my therapist Bob) made realize that in the spring I would be loved again - and I was.

Did you ever notice that trying to remember where you were a year ago was difficult. However, remembering a song a year ago is easy. I have CRS (Can't Remember Shit) but I know at least two bars of hundreds and hundreds of songs. I guess it's the way the brain works and I like it

Lastly, most of the songs I remember remind me of happiness and love. The lyrics (like a line from the Temptations: "she makes a blind man talk about seeing again) are powerful and they say what was going on at the time, what was going on in the world, love lost, loved gained, and happiness. 

Hearing the songs I love makes me happy

Do You Look At Your Poop - I Do

 Do You Look At Your Poop - I Do

When a baby poops, most parents look at it in the dipper. Why, because they want to make sure there is nothing in there that is not normal. The baby doesn't care because they are not even sure they pooped. 

A child between 2 to 4 begins using the toilet. A parent of a 2 year old who gets their child to poop on the toilet believes their child is a star. The thing is that 2 to 4 year old child who poops on the toilet looks at his or her poop. Why? Because they believe they accomplished something great and the parent applaud them for their accomplishment.

By the time the child gets to10, pooping is just a daily routine. No need to look at the poop because they know what is in there and they aren't going to get an at-a-boy from their parents. This goes on until around their sixties.

Welcome to my world. Pooping is an event not just a daily routine. There are some like my father who had absolutely had no problem pooping until he died at 87. However, many of us old people have a problem pooping.

We combat our problem with pills, liquids, eating more fiber, etc. etc. When a good one happens, we look at what we accomplished. I'm probably unique, but I'm a looker. I even tell my spouse I had a good day.

Sooo, what does all this have to do with happiness? It all has to do with appreciation. With all the crap (another word for poop) going on in the world, we don't appreciate all we have. I appreciate life. I appreciate my wife. I appreciate my friends and relatives. I appreciate my house, my car, my surroundings and even:

A Great Poop.

How To Deal With The Loss Of The Presidential Election

 How To Deal With The Loss Of The Presidential Election

Before I offer suggestions on How To Deal With The Loss Of The Presidential Election, here is a personal response about the two candidates.

It kills me that the country I love could not find two people better than the ones running for this election. The fact is there ARE much better qualified people, but politics has shone it's ugly head. Why put up a guy that lies and is dangerous. Why put up a guy that is so frail, he probably won't make it four more years.

Neither one will create the respect the President of the United States of America has to have to win over the rest of the free world. Both parties should be ashamed of themselves. I'll vote on policy, not on the individual. I can only hope that If the candidate I hate wins, Congress will go the other way.

Sooo, How To Deal With The Loss Of The Presidential Election

*  Never stop loving the United States Of America. It has its problems, but where would rather live. If it's not the USA, get the hell out and go there.

*  The fact that the left and right media predict the end of our country is bullshit. Neither candidate will destroy this wonderful country.

*  The fear that one of the candidates will never leave office is also bullshit. Both are too old to last more than four years. We are not Russia. We are a democratic country. This fear will stop you from happiness. It will only lead to becoming depressed.

* Neither candidate will get the USA into a major war. Worrying about it is self-destructive. 

*  Your life, as you know it, will not change for the worse. Neither candidate will take away what you have now. Focus on the good stuff that's going on in your life because they won't take the good stuff away.

* Whatever bad comes from either candidate, we will turn it around for the good. It might take time, but the USA will prevail. We have lived through the bad times in the past and we will do it again if necessary.

Life Is Good - Never Forget It

Life Is A Guarantee Everything Beyond This Life Is Conjecture

 Life Is A Guarantee Everything Beyond This Life Is Conjecture - Kenny Felderstein

My 90 year old, love of my life, Grandma (Bubby) was in the hospital while her years were coming to an end. My family and I were at her bedside saying our goodbyes. I leaned my 13 year old body over to her ear and said: "Bubby, you're going to a better place." With all the strength she could muster, she said: "What better place, I'm going into the ground. I learned then, 

Everything Beyond This Life Is Conjecture.

Some believe they will go to GOD after this life. Some believe it's good to blow themselves up because they will be praised by their GOD in the afterlife. Some believe they are going to Hell. Some believe they are going to someplace in the Universe. Some believe they are going to another dimension and some believe they are going into the ground.

Everything Beyond This Life Is Conjecture.

I say: " your life now is a guarantee. Stop speculating where you're going to go after this life. Find a way to make this life good for you. Make tough choices to get all you deserve in life. Take risks that might lead to a better life. Don't worry about the risk because you will recover if it doesn't work out and you won't be dead. 

It may be comforting to believe you're going somewhere nice after you're dead, but, don't count on it. That's not to say I believe I'm going into the ground. Because of my technical and logical brain, I do believe there might be something my five senses can't understand. I also believe I have a soul. However, I also know:

 Life Is A Guarantee Everything Beyond This Life Is Conjecture

Sooo, I'm living the best life I can right now. I don't want my Bubby to be right, but, 

What If She IS?

His light comes out from the inside

 His light comes out from the inside

I heard this saying from somewhere or someone, but  because of my CRS (Can't Remember Shit), I don't know where. However, I like this saying because it's what I strive for personally. 

You all know the saying, "she lights up the room." That's not because of what she is wearing or that she has Christmas lights on her head. It's because of her inner light. 

Sooo, where does that light come from and how does one get it? Some call it personality. I believe it's deeper than that. I believe it comes from love of others,  love of life, true happiness, confidence in oneself and love of oneself. 

That person projects those traits on others. Others connect with that person like a moth attracts to a light. That person does not have to be the smartest or the largest or the most dominate one in the room. He only has to connect with others.

OK, how do I become the bright light in the room? It's not easy. First you have to see life in a positive way. If you have physical or mental pain, you have to deal with it by believing this too will pass in a positive way.

If you lost confidence in yourself, accept who you are, love who you are and take the steps necessary to regain your confidence. If you're unhappy, get to the root of your unhappiness and read some of my blogs. Remember "Happiness Is The Forgotten Ingredient In Life."

Most of all remember, your life today is much better than death. It's probably much better than some of the people you know. Sooo,

Put Love Of Yourself And Love Of Others As Your Goal.

One Must Find The Truth From With-in

 One Must Find The Truth From With-in  Hercule Poirot

I've always said that I don't lie. No matter what the situation, I always tell the truth. It's against my moral compass to lie. It's the core my father built into me. One little lie will generate another lie than another lie then another etc. I believe "the truth will set you free."

However, I also understand the truth is my truth. It is the truth that is with-in me. It's shaped by my strong belief in something, my upbringing, my experiences, my knowledge, my environment and my logical mind.

My truth is not shaped by what others say, the media, the internet, what I read or any other input from the outside. I have a brain. My wonderful brain is independent of outside input from others spouting "their" truth. 

My brain is not a follower of others. It calculates its truth based on what it believes is just, fair, reasonable, honest, peoples freedom, logical and the right thing to do. My truth is what I want the situation to be, not what it is now.

Sooo, what about you. Does your truth come from others? Does your truth come from people who just make shit up? Does your truth come from people who have a financial incentive to say things even they don't really believe? Does your truth come from people who have a political incentive?

The truth is not the truth. The truth is your truth and it comes from with-in. Don't let it be the truth that others want you to believe is the truth.

Fear Of Death Is What Keeps Us Alive

 Fear Of Death Is What Keeps Us Alive

Fear Of Death Is What Keeps Us Alive is a line by Dr. McCoy in the movie Star Treck Beyond. There are people who say: I don't fear death." For the vast majority, I'm calling Bullshit! My situation is different for two reasons;

1- Although I don't believe in a supreme being who figures into my life, I do believe there is something more after we die. I believe it could be another dimension. Just because our five senses can't see, hear or touch something, doesn't mean there isn't something more going on.

2- My only regret about dying is that I won't see it all. Being a computer scientist, I love technology. In my almost 80 years I've seen how technology has changed the world and most of all the people in it. I love thinking about the future and all it may bring, but dyeing 14 years from now, will not let me see some of the technology that's portrayed in Star Treck.

Fearing death is OK unless it makes you depressed, fear of taking risks, fear of traveling, fear of leaving the house, fear of being with friends because you might get sick, etc. - etc. The fact is that fearing death should get you to live all the life that is available to you.

Don't say, "I have plenty of time to take that trip before I die." Even if you're young, shit happens. Don't wait until it's too late. Don't look back on your life, just before you die, and say, "I shoulda or coulda have done that. Shouldas or coulda's will never bring you happiness. 

Sooo, what about you? Do you fear death or are you waiting until it's too late to do what you want to do now. I know it's hard. There might be financial problems, family problems, health problems, but by putting yourself in first position, you will find a way.

Make Fear Of Death A Good Thing

A Saying You Should Think About That Is Food For Thought

 A Saying You Should Think About That Is Food For Thought

While watching a movie I can't remember (I have CRS - can't remember shit), There was a saying my Joyce wrote down that's something for you to consider.

"You can spend your whole life searching for who you want to be, but you will never be happy until you accept who you are."

 I wanted to be in the sports business. Maybe a pitcher or a wide receiver or someone associated with the business side of sports. Well, a player wasn't going to happen because I'm a 5'f 8f' skinny guy with a bad back. Getting involved with an NFL team is really tough.

I became a computer scientist. One doesn't have to be tall or strong with a good back to be a computer scientist. One only has to have a left brain that understands how computers and networks can solve people and business problems.

I use my creative side to write, but am I a talented writer - no. I'm proud of the books I've written and published, but none of them will get the Pulitzer Prize. So, I have to accept that I'm a computer scientist that writes.

I also have to accept that I'm not a great dad. However, I am a great friend and husband. It took me 40 years to accept who I was. What I realized was I had faults, but I was a good guy who loves life and loves all the people I associate with.

That was me - what about you? Do you really accept and love who you are? Do you acknowledge your faults and try to make them better? Do you acknowledge all the good things about yourself?

Food For Thought

We Become What We Worship

 My Joyce sent this to me:

                We Become What We Worship

There are no atheists. We all worship something. Some of us worship money. Some worship our and others physical beauty. Some of us worship our possessions. Some of us worship our intellect. Some worship gaining power and control over others.

I submit that we become what we worship, that day-by-day, we become more deeply embroiled in those things that we consider all-important. Our life eventually centers about those things, to the exclusion of others. Therefore, I suggest you place great care and importance in what you choose to worship. Be acutely aware of where your devotion will lead you. The unrestrained reverence for money, physical beauty and the other things I’ve listed above can lead to unhappiness, feeling lost, deadness. Worshipping these can lead to greed, and fear, and loss of soul.

So, let me suggest that, at least as part of your supplication, you worship love. If you hold reverence for love, valuing the importance of love in your everyday life and giving your loving generosity to others and receiving other’s love in return, your life will be full with happiness.

First of all, the first paragraph does not depict me. From a religious point of view, I am an atheist. I appreciate those who are believers, but as a computer scientist, my focus is on me not a supreme being. I do not worship the list of things in paragraph one. However, the last paragraph is all about me. I worship loving others, loving life and loving myself. That's one of the reasons I'm a happy person. 

What good does worshiping possessions, money, power, ego, and beauty get you? Worshiping possessions will lead to never having enough. Worshiping power will lead to working all the time and being under great stress. 

Worshiping money will lead to two things. One, those who never spend the money they have will mean you never get all the thing life has to offer you. Two, those who do everything in their power to get more money. Once you have enough money to live out the rest of your life, the new money will only get you cosmetic stuff. People who worship money will never have enough cosmetic stuff.

Worshiping beauty will limit who you want as friends and family. People come in all sizes and shapes. If you worship beauty you may never see the good, the love, the happiness and the intellect in those who are not beautiful. 

If you worship beauty you will do anything to make yourself beautiful. Besides the cost and the pain it takes to make yourself beautiful, the fact is it will not work. You may be able to make your face beautiful, but you can't make old hands and legs look young. Seeing a 30-year-old face with 60-year-old hands is just - UGH.

Lastly, people who worship possessions, money, power, ego, and beauty are usually insecure. If those people find a way to lose their insecurity, they might realize that worshiping possessions, money, power, ego, and beauty will never lead to happiness.

Just Ask The Lonely

                            "Ask The Lonely" By The Four Tops

Just ask the lonely

When you feel that you
Can make it all alone
Remember no one is big enough
To go it alone

Just ask the lonely
They know the hurt and pain
Of losing love you can never regain
Just ask the lonely

The young and foolish laugh at love
So they run away
Confident and sure that fate
Will bring another love their way

But ask the lonely
How vainly a heart can yearn
For losing love that will never return
Just ask the lonely
They'll tell you

They'll tell you a story of sadness
A story too hard to believe
They'll tell you the loneliest one is me
Just ask the lonely

Ask me
I'm the loneliest one you'll see

Have you ever lost someone very close to you? Losing my grandmother made me sad because she was my loving Bubby. Losing my father crushed me because he was the rock of the family and someone who gave me my sense of humor, my good brain and my strong moral compass. 

My mother had a wonderful life and lived closed to me before she died. She loved and hugged me all the time. Everybody loved her and she loved everyone (no matter what color) including animals. She gave me my love of life. I lost my sister way too soon to cancer just when we were getting really close to each other. 

Then My Ellen. She died of a massive heart attack, totally unexpectedly. I was crushed. I thought we had many more great years together, but life has no guarantees. If it wasn't for my wonderful friends Cindy and Jack, I would have been the "Loneliest One You See."

A few of my "so called" friends felt I should stay lonely for at least a year or two. Well, take it from me, lonely sucks. Just because you're alone doesn't mean you have to be lonely. Because I love life and want to share it with someone, I reached out and found the love of my life Joyce. Now I'm "The Happiest One You See."

Being lonely leads to depression. Depression leads to unhappiness. Losing a loved one who you're very close to leads to loneliness. Don't let others expect you to stay lonely and sad. Take the time you need (hope it's a short time) and go get all the life you deserve. 

If you don't have close friends, go places and make new friends. Keep yourself busy with things you enjoy. If all else fails, get a pet who will give you unconditional love. Most of all, never stop loving life.

Ball Of Confusion

 Ball Of Confusion

In 1970 (53 years ago) the Temptations sang:

                       "Ball Of Confusion (That's What The World Is Today)"

People moving out, people moving in
Why? Because of the color of their skin
Run, run, run but you sure can't hide
An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth
Vote for me and I'll set you free
Rap on, brother, rap on

Well, the only person talking about love thine brother is the preacher
And it seems nobody's interested in learning but the teacher
Segregation, determination, demonstration, integration
Aggravation, humiliation, obligation to our nation

Ball of confusion
Oh yeah, that's what the world is today
Woo, hey, hey

The sale of pills are at an all time high
Young folks walking round with their heads in the sky
The cities aflame in the summer time
And oh, the beat goes on

Evolution, revolution, gun control, sound of soul
Shooting rockets to the moon, kids growing up too soon
Politicians say more taxes will solve everything
And the band played on

So, round and around and around we go
Where the world's headed, nobody knows

Oh, Great Googa Mooga, can't you hear me talking to you?
Just a ball of confusion
Oh yeah, that's what the world is today
Woo, hey, hey

Fear in the air, tension everywhere
Unemployment rising fast, the Beatles new record's a gas
And the only safe place to live is on an Indian reservation
And the band played on

Eve of destruction, tax deduction
City inspectors, bill collectors
Mod clothes in demand, population out of hand
Suicide, too many bills, hippies moving to the hills
People all over the world are shouting, "End the war."
And the band played on

Great Googa Mooga, can't you hear me talking to you?
It's a ball of confusion
That's what the world is today, hey, hey
Let me hear ya, let me hear ya, let me hear ya
(Sayin') ball of confusion
That's what the world is today, hey, hey
Let me hear ya, let me hear ya, let me hear ya, let me hear ya, let me hear ya
(Sayin') ball of confusion
That's what the world is today...

 
53 years later has anything significant in the world, changed? When will the world wake up? Has the 1970 song: "War what is it good for - absolutely nothing" changed? I'm not trying to be negative, but will we ever learn? 

Too many people are aggressive. I'm not just talking about terrorists, I'm talking about our friends, family members and the average guy and girl walking around today. Road rage and revenge are getting more normal each day. People say things like: "we should kill them all." How sick is that!!

I'm a product of the 1950s. Will those days ever come back? Do the military establishments around the world want them to come back? Do the pharmaceutical companies pushing depression drugs want those good old days to come back. Do politicians using negative and aggressive statements want the days of the 50s to ever come back?

I'm frustrated because I know what the good times feel like, but I can't get them back. My only solution is to live my life with love and happiness and say: "fuck the world." I just have to accept the world is a;

Ball Of Confusion

 

We Don't Really Write Anything - We Just Listen And Translate

We Don't Really Write Anything - We Just Listen And Translate

I was watching a movie a while back and heard this quote "We Don't Really Write Anything - We Just Listen And Translate." I can't remember the movie (CRS) but it gave me a lot to think about. Did it mean we don't have an original thought? I don't believe that. Did it mean we listen in our head and translate our thoughts? I'm going to go with the latter.

Most of the time a thought comes into my head, and I put it on my blogs. I only get the highlights of the thought and then I fill in the rest when I start writing my blog. Other times, I see something or hear a song or hear a quote and then I write the title and fill in the blog.

I believe great writers (I'm not one) write fiction by making up each chapter as they fill in the story. The novel I wrote was different. In my thoughts, I created the beginning, the middle and the ending. Then I sat down and filled in each section.

Either way, writing is wonderful. Accomplishing my blogs or my books give me great happiness. So many of you have a book or something else in your head and should let it out. Don't think you don't have time, because you can always find a half hour to get started,

Write about your experiences. Write about your family. Write about who you are. Write about what you see or write a novel or a blog. Nobody has to see what you write because you're writing for yourself. When you're done, I will guarantee you will be thrilled with your accomplishment.

Make just one someone happy And you will be happy too

 "Make Someone Happy"  By Jimmy Durante

It's so important to make someone happy
Make just one someone happy
Make just one heart to heart you, you sing to

One smile that cheers you
One face that lights when it nears you
One girl you're - you're everything to

Fame, if you win it
Comes and goes in a minutes
Where's the real stuff in life, to cling to?

Love is the answer
Someone to love is the answer
Once you've found her
Build your world around her

Make someone happy
Make just one someone happy
And you will be happy too

I just sang you this song because many of you have never heard it before. It's over 60 years old and it rings true today. There are many ways for you to find happiness, this way is guaranteed. 

                                        Make just one someone happy
                                        And you will be happy too

If you believe the outside world should make YOU happy, you've got the wrong strategy. Why not do something to make someone else happy. When you see the happiness in someone's eyes and body language, it will make you happy. Paying it forward always works.

I do my best to make Joyce happy. Do I do it for her - yes. However, when she hugs me because I make her happy, I feel happy too. Like I said, waiting for someone else to make you happy, rarely works, but the more you make others happy, the better chance they will make you happy back.

Soooo,

                                    Make someone happy
                         Make just one someone happy
                         And you will be happy too

And The Award Goes To

 And The Award Goes To

Have you ever received an award? I've received many in business, but never in my personal life. If you have received an award(s), where is it today? I have mine in a trunk (I think). Do you look back on it? Did you deserve it? Most of mine were in sales and marketing and believe me I deserved them all.

In sports today, little kids all get an award even if they lose. For some reason, teachers, coaches, parents believe it's good for the child's mental health to give them an award even if they did nothing but show up. Parents are so afraid their child will be sad (or worst angry) so they push the teacher or coach to give them an award so their child will be happy.

I'm old school, so I'm calling bullshit. The real reason parents want their child to get an award is so they don't have to parent them. This doesn't bode well for the parent or the child later in life. An earned award is much more appreciated. Trying to get that earned award will make the child try harder. Without that work ethic, the child won't be able to cope with life in the real world.

Where is your head on this topic? If you have an adult son or daughter who still lives with you, you've failed. If that child doesn't work or works but can't support themselves, you mondo failed. However, if you have an adult son or daughter who has made a life for themselves, give them an award.

Do you reward yourself? If you've lost the five pounds you've been trying to do, give yourself an award - a Sunday with cherries, nuts and dark chocolate syrup would be my award. Give your husband an award if he is making you happy - I won't tell you what my reward would be because this is a family blog.

The bottom line is that you do wonderful things that never get awarded. It's great when you get an award from the "outside world," but even if nobody gives you one, award yourself because you've earned it.

And The Award Goes To - YOU

Depression

 Depression

You can't be happy if you are depressed. Even though my life today is void of depression, I spent quite a few years being depressed. Therefore, I know depression and the impact it had on my happiness.

I'm not a doctor, but these are the things, I believe, can cause depression.

* Financial problems. Living paycheck to paycheck makes you feel that you don't have control of your life. Worrying about money, even if you have enough money, leads to depression. My solution is to never get yourself in financial trouble. Sounds simple, but it's not.

Two divorces put me in financial trouble, and I was depressed. What I learned from that experience was that I could live a happy life spending less. I wanted a lot of things, but I needed very few. Sooo, don't put yourself in a position to become depressed because you (or your loved ones) spend on things you don't need.

* Worrying about what's going on in the world today. My solution, focus on the things you have control over not the things you can't control. You can control what you watch in the media. You can control having only positive people in your life. You can control your positive outlook on your life.

* Feeling depressed and not knowing why.  This is a very serious issue. If you haven't gone to your doctor, go NOW. Don't try to fix it yourself. Don't accept it as part of your life. Your doctor may have to try different drugs, but there are ones that will help. I got help and so can you. 

* Surrounding yourself with negative people and a negative environment. My solution is simple but hard to achieve. PUT YOUR SELF IN FIRST POSITION. That means YOU come first even before your spouse, kids, family, friends, and job. Focus on YOUR happiness not their happiness. Make decisions that put you in first position.

I used to believe doing the above was selfish. What I learned was when I got what I wanted, I had so much more energy and love to give to others. Allowing anything outside of yourself to make you unhappy will make you depressed. 

Step up. When someone asks you which restaurant you want to go to, never say: "I don't know, where do you want to go. You should say, "I prefer (prefer rather than

demand) Italian." When your spouse asks which steak you want, tell him/her: "I want the best one." Why the best one, because you deserve the best one.

Please believe me, you can take control of your depression. You probably will have to do things that are unpleasant, but happiness comes at a price.

Depression = Unhappiness. Control = Happiness