Too Much Time On My Hands

Too Much Time On My Hands

As a baby we eat, shit and sleep all day. The time we're awake we lay in a crib with a thing dangling down staring at the colorful shapes moving around. We definitely have too much time on our hands.

As teenagers we go to school, think about girls or boys, play with our friends, do homework, eat, shit and sleep. We use our time well, but that's because we have time on our hands to do so.

In our twenties and thirties we're trying to get ahead at work, usually have a girlfriend or wife and kids. By the time we give almost all of our time to THEM we're too tired at the end of the day and just veg-out watching mindless TV. We mostly feel we don't have enough time on our hands.

In out fifties we now probably have a more important job with a lot of stress, most of our money is paying for our kids' education, and the relationship with our spouse is at the boring stage so we stay at work longer than we need to. Lastly, we sit and wonder how much better our life would be if we had too much time on our hands.

Then in our seventies and eighties the kids are gone, the spouse might be gone or at best we both are just going through the motions. We're eating, shitting (if we can) and sleeping. We wind up with so much time on our hands that we probably should just go back to our infant stage, buy a crib that looks like the one we had as a baby, hang a mobile, crunch ourselves into the crib and just stare at the colorful shapes.

Some call this the circle of life. I call this the circle of unhappiness. Unless you're already crunched into the crib, here are my suggestions to change your circle of life.

1. You can't do much as a new born, so just hope you're loved by the ones who brought you into this world. 

2. As a teenager, make as many friends as you can. Do something productive that gives you money you can call your own so you can buy what you want not what your parents tell you can buy. Don't just think about boys or girls, become friends with them, get to know them because they are different than you. Even catch a feel if you can. Lastly, play, play and play as much as you can because these are your last days of playing. You have the time on your hands if you use it to have fun.

3. In your twenties and even thirties DON'T have kids. They're much more taking than giving. Have as many sexual partners as possible because SEX is FUN (see my previous blog). Decide what career will make you the happiest not necessarily the one that brings you the most money. Unless you love managing people, don't take promotions that will put you in people/boss management positions. Most importantly, take the time you have on your hands and find out who you are, what you like and what makes you happy.

4. In your fifties and sixties, find every way you can to keep your stress level down (you'll live longer). If you wind up having those nasty varmints, make them pay their way through school. At least make them get a job so they can be responsible for their food, shelter, car and insurance. You'll feel bad, but they will be better adults in their future. 

Have more sex with your spouse. Have play dates with your spouse. If none of that works, get a different girlfriend or spouse (who doesn't have kids). Eat the best food you can afford, travel even if it's only a few miles from your home (you and your spouse need to break up the routine). 

5. Lastly, in your fifties and sixties use the time on your hands to plan for your seventies and eighties. That time on your hands should consider all the many creative, productive, exciting and fun things you WILL do instead of crunching into your crib and watching the little mobile figures flying above your head.

Too Much Tome On Your Hands Can Many Times Be Worse Than Having No Time On Your Hands.

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We Must Give The People What They Want - BULLSHIT

We Must Give The People What They Want - BULLSHIT

Too many of us think that if we just give the people what they want life will be easier. That's BULLSHIT! Oh sure, their life will get easier, but your life will not. Oh sure, avoiding conflict will make your life easier for the moment, but not getting what YOU want and deserve will never make you happy.

I tried so hard to give my bosses what they wanted. It made them happy at the moment, but when they didn't get the results they expected, they called me an amateur for not voicing my opinion before they made their decision.

I did piss-off a few bosses by not giving them what they wanted because I believed in my heart their way was wrong. It's amazing to watch a pissed-off boss think he was the greatest because he did what I wanted instead of what he wanted. They love you when you're right and they hate you when you're wrong. 

However, the risk of being wrong is worth taking when you voice your opinion. Always giving them what they want just doesn't work in the long run. You'll get blamed if your wrong, but remember he didn't have to give you what YOU wanted. Because he's too weak to blame himself, you become the target. 

The problem is if you give him what he wants and he is still wrong, he will see you as weak for letting him make a bad decision. If you can't win either way then I say: "never give him what he wants if you believe what he wants is wrong."

I tried so hard to give my spouses what they wanted. I did it to avoid conflict. I did it to avoid a fight. I did it because I couldn't deal with the stress at home when I was dealing with the stress at work. Well guess what, it didn't work. Two divorces later I realized always giving them what they wanted made me angry, frustrated and unhappy with myself. I saw myself as not good enough to get what I wanted. The funny thing is that I was so pissed-off with myself, I blamed them.

Sooo, if I didn't give them what they wanted, I would be unhappy because they were pissed-off with me. If I gave them what they wanted, I would be pissed-off with myself and blame them which led to me being unhappy. This Catch-22 resulted in two divorces. 

What do I do differently now verses then, I always ask for what I want, but rarely demand it. That way I leave open both the option of them getting what they want and me getting what I want. This can only work if your spouse, friends, relatives, bosses, etc. are open to hearing what you want and being open to giving you what you want if they think it's reasonable.

Some of my bosses didn't meet those criteria. My first two wives never met those criteria. However, the people I surround myself with today meet those criteria. I never JUST give them what they want. I give them what they want when I believe what they want is right and/or is what I wanted in the first place. 

In all cases, I always ask for what I want. That's a huge requirement to becoming a happy person.

Different Strokes For Different Folks

Different Strokes For Different Folks

One of the things that makes America great is we have different strokes for different folks. We agree on a lot of things, but at the same time we disagree on a lot of things. Those disagreements invoke conversation. Those disagreements make us think (unless you're a bull-headed asshole). The most important thing is we have the right to agree or disagree.

People in North Korea don't have that right. People who belong to terrorist groups don't have that right. Russia is moving is that direction by giving too much power to Putin. Therefore, even if we dislike the people or the government we disagree with, it's great that we have that right.

When it comes to religion I have very different strokes for different folks. When it comes to government policy I have different strokes for different folks. Those differences sometimes make the relationship stronger and sometimes weaker.

For example, I have a good friend who we argue over politics all the time. We really go at each other. Our strokes are 120 degrees (not 180 degrees) apart. After the disagreement we laugh and hug each other. He is smart, passionate and makes a great case for what he believes is true. I'm smart and passionate and a great debater. I make my case and he listens, but doesn't agree. He makes his case and I listen, but I usually don't agree. We are good friends and care for each other - politics will never change that.

On the hand, I have someone close to me who we recently had a strong disagreement regarding religion. That someone, who I've known my whole life, has decided to never talk to me again. It's a shame, but I can't change my views just to make peace. I respect his different strokes, but he doesn't respect mine. I hope in the future we can put this past us. We're too old to let this come between us.

Sooo, enjoy the fact that there are different strokes for different folks. Those differences will make you stronger and wiser. Sharing those differences should bring you closer not further away. Your opinion counts (unless you live in North Korea or with Terrorists). 

Never let those differences take away the love you have in your heart. Never let those differences ruin friendships. Never let those differences make you so angry and frustrated that you stop being a happy positive energy person. Remember:

America Allows You To Have Different Strokes For Different Folks. Enjoy this special freedom.

Your Future?

Your Future?

I don't spend a lot of time thinking about my future because I'm having such a good time with my present. At seventy, I know shit is going to happen to me. That doesn't mean it will be bad shit. I prefer to think it will good shit even if there is some bad shit mixed in.

For example, I have a bad neck and a bad back. I've lived with it most of my life. I got it from my father, but he also gave me a beautiful mind, a great sense of humor and the benefits of always trying to do the right thing. Sooo, who cares if my back hurts all the time and I can't completely turn my head - I'm loving life just the same.

There is little doubt that in the future my back will get worse. Probably I'll also start having trouble with my knee or hip. However, I truly believe that those body parts are just the bumpers. As long as my engine and transmission are healthy, I can deal with the pain. Therefore, even if my body betrays me, I'm still going to have a great future.

Someone asked me would I want to give up on life if, in the future, I became a paraplegic. My answer was as serious as a hard bowel. As long as I have my brain intact I can create. I can write and blog. I can laugh and enjoy the love around me. I can continue to enjoy the great food my wife makes. I can still enjoy a beautiful sunset.

You see, the future is bright for all of us. Computers, electronic devises of all kinds (like virtual reality devices) and medicine are getting better every year we live. Scientists are find ways to give you quality of life even if you get a serious disease. The longer into the future we can live the better chance of having good quality of life. 

Some would say that I'm ignoring the chance of war, drought, global warming, etc. etc. I say to them: "what's it your business?" I'm practical, those things may happen in the future, but, IT WILL NOT HAPPEN IN MINE OR YOUR FUTURE! Even it does happen; it's stupid to worry about it NOW!

Go to bed tonight and close your eyes and think two thoughts. One, how lucky you are to have your present and two, how even better your future will become.

Your Future Is No Longer A Question-Mark. 

It's Going To Be Fabulous!

XXX Rating

XXX Rating

Growing up kissing a girl was UGH. When I discovered the little guy below my stomach wasn't just for peeing, kissing a girl was WOW. Then in my teens I wanted more. There were places that had machines where you put in a penny, turn a crank and watch a bunch of flip cards showing a woman taking off her clothes. The faster you turned the crank the flip cards made it look more like a movie. The problem was the furthest you got was seeing a woman in her underwear. Back then women's underwear had more to it than the short skirts and tops we see on woman today. 

Movies were about the same. There was more romance from the music than what was actually going on the screen. Yes, two stars kissed, but it wasn't making out and tongues were taboo. You did see women in their underwear, but nothing more. It was Okay to see Tarzan without a shirt and a thong protecting his boys, but showing a woman's breast was out of the question. I could never understand that.

Just like prohibition, this created a giant porn business. You've got to give the customers what they want and seeing a woman's breast and the hairy patch down under was one of my early thrills in life. 

Early porn was more about showing a woman's body than intercourse. When detailed intercourse came on the scene most of it was boring except for the ones that has a story in addition to the in-an-out. "Deep Throat" was my favorite. Some of the lines were so funny I forgot about all the blowing going on.

The big time movie producers had to get some of the porn audience back into the theater. Sooo, they made a deal with the censors on a rating system. 

Rating symbol	Meaning
G	G – General Audiences All ages admitted. Nothing that would offend parents for viewing by children.
PG	PG – Parental Guidance Suggested Some material may not be suitable for children. Parents urged to give "parental guidance". May contain some material parents might not like for their young children.
PG-13	PG-13 – Parents Strongly Cautioned Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13. Parents are urged to be cautious. Some material may be inappropriate for pre-teenagers.
R	R – Restricted Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian. Contains some adult material. Parents are urged to learn more about the film before taking their young children with them.
NC-17	NC-17 – Adults Only No One 17 and Under Admitted. Clearly adult. Children are not admitted.

Most of us remember movie ratings that were X, XX, XXX. XXX was reserved for porn. "NC-17" doesn't reach the porn level, but the main reason a movie gets an "NC-17" rating is because it shows a man's hairy dick. If the movie has extreme violence, blows a lot of shit up, but only shows a nude woman, it will get an "R" rating. I can only assume the male dominated movie business is more than happy to show a woman's Va-JJ, but has a problem showing a man's Bratwurst. It could also be because most movie producers don't have a Bratwurst they have a cocktail frank.

As I've matured I realize it's the love-making that turns me on not the nude bodies or the over and over again in-an-out. Two people, in love, making out on the big screen really turns me on (yes, there needs to be some tonguing going on). Oral sex can be a turn on, but even in an NC-17 movie they never show any action below the belly button.

Sooo, what the hell does all this have to do with my blogs on happiness. It's simple; everyone's body is a beautiful thing. It's not just a sexual thing it's a beautiful thing. It should be shown off no matter how the outside world wants to consider what looks good and what doesn't look good. Gun violence and chopping off people's limbs should not make you happy. On the other hand, I'm very much in favor of blowing a lot of shit up. 

An "R" or "NC-17" movie that has a lot of violence with an occasional scene with two people f...king doesn't make me happy. Those same rated movies that blow shit up and have an occasional scene with two people making serious love makes me very happy.

I'm not you. As an adult you should be able to watch any movie that turns you on and makes you happy. Don't just watch what "they" think you should watch. Don't hide out or go to some place where you can watch what you want to watch. Let everybody know what you like and what you watch. sooo;

Bring On Those Dicks and Pussies. They Are The Beautiful Parts Of Us. 

Ass Cracks - Not So Much!

Success Is Your Definition Not Theirs

Success Is Your Definition Not Theirs

Merriam Webster:

A: the fact of getting or achieving wealth, respect, or fame

B; the correct or desired result of an attempt

C: someone or something that is successful: a person or thing that succeeds

Do you consider yourself successful? If you do - why? If you don't - why?  Do others think of you as a successful person? Do others think of you as an unsuccessful person? Do you care if others see you as successful or unsuccessful? Do you really give a shit what others think about you?

Lots of questions, but it all boils down to your definition of success. Let's start with Webster's definition "A" If obtaining wealth or fame is your definition of success you might consider yourself successful, but, will that mean you'll be a happy person? If not obtaining wealth or fame means to you that you're not successful, then you might never be a happy person.

On the other hand, respect is in your control. Gaining respect of yourself and the respect of others is something you have to earn. Once earned, you'll be a happy person. I don't know of any person who respects his or her self that isn't happy. However, I know people who have the respect of others, but, for some reason, don't have respect for themselves. Most of those people are not happy people.

You can gain respect in many ways. Always being truthful is mandatory. Always trying your best to do the right thing is critical. Asking for what you want, but not demanding it goes a long way. Loving unconditionally even if you don’t get what you want or even deserve will greatly enhance the respect you have for yourself.

Therefore, in my opinion, I believe Webster's definition "A" should read: "The fact of getting or achieving respect."

Webster's definition "B" is the one I agree with the most. You work hard to accomplish something. If that hard work pays off because you achieved the result you wanted, then I call that success. It doesn't guarantee long term happiness, but most of us would be very happy at the time of that success. On the other hand you're not a failure if you don't get the desired result. You should love and respect yourself just for making the attempt (assuming you truly put in your best effort). If you busted your ass and you just came up short, be happy because many others wouldn't have even tried.

Webster's definition "C" is totally about your definition. If you see yourself as successful, than you are successful. If you see yourself as unsuccessful then you probably will create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Never give a shit about how the outside world views you. They don't determine if you're a success or not. 

Success Is Your Definition Not Theirs

Happiness - A Song By Kenny Felderstein

"Happiness" - A Song By Kenny Felderstein

Below is a song I wrote to the beat of Ben E King and The Drifters song "Save The Last Dance For Me."

"You can love (you can love) when loving enhances your happiness"

 "You can hate (you can hate) but hating will only create more sadness"

"So don't let them take that happiness away from you"

"Because darling happiness is all about what you do"

"You can smile (you can smile) because smiling will enrich your soul"

"You can cry (you can cry), but crying will take a negative toll"

"So don't let your heart be shattered by what others say"

"Because darling you're the one who truly knows you're Okay"

"You can laugh (you can laugh) even when the outside world is throwing stones"

"You can get angry (you can get angry), but all that will do is eat into your bones"

"So don't let their negative attitude make you into a negative refugee"

"Because darling you have the power to give out positive energy"

"You can be (you can be) you can be out front and change the world"

"You can be (you can be) you can be invisible and never be heard"

"But don't stay away from doing all you can to help the world you serve"

"Because darling it's your happiness that's what you truly deserve"

"Happiness" A Song By Kenny Felderstein

I Can't Keep It In

I Can't Keep It In

If you're a dirty thinking person like me, you probably think this blog is a nasty little blog about sex. Well, I must admit that even at my age, I have trouble keeping it in my pants. That's because my wife is so beautiful and sexy and I'm just a horny dirty old man.  However, sadly to say, this blog is not about the snake in my pants.

Did you ever yell out something to someone or a group that you wished you hadn't said anything? Maybe you were frustrated? Maybe you were angry? Maybe you're insecure about a subject and the person or group just happened to press that button. 

Many of us have had that experience. Some of us have never done that in their life. The simple solution to the ones that have blurted out something they just wished they could take back is: KEEP ON BLURTING. After your loud expressive statement, take three long breaths, get your thoughts and your shit together and explain to the person or the group why you said what you said.

The ones who hold it in are never going to be happy people. If they hold it in too long they will either explode and shit all over everybody or they will just leave with no explanation to anyone. Those people will never have real friends - everyone (including a spouse) will always be nothing more to them than an acquaintance. Neither party will feel good about that.

When something has to come out - let it all hang out. The people who love you will still love you. They might be mad at you for a brief time, but love and friendship always wins out. It's important that the people you know well understand the impact their words have on you. They would rather have it out with an explanation (even if they disagree with you) then have you keep it inside. Keeping it inside isn't fooling them. They can see by your body language you're not happy and pissed off.

"I Hate You!" You don't really hate that person; you just need to let them know how their comments are hurting you. You will kiss and hug a few minutes later.  "Get Out!" You don't want them to get out; you just need some space NOW so you can deal with whatever is hurting you. "I Never Loved You!" Bullshit, you wouldn't have been with this person for so long if you didn't love him or her at one time in your relationship. Maybe you don't love that person anymore. If that's the case then by blurting out those words will open a dialog between the two of you on what to do next.

Sooo, if you relate to my first paragraph, you're my dirty disgusting hero.  If you relate to the real purpose of this blog, the best thing you can do for yourself or the other people in your life is to say:

I Can't Keep It In.