Happy Holidays - Happy New Year

 

Happy Holidays - Happy New Year

 

 

It's that time of year we all love and hate.  We love getting time off from work.  We love giving and getting presents.  We love seeing friends and family.  We love seeing other people happy.  We love seeing houses and buildings decorated with holiday lights.  We love the parties and the food.  We love the thought that the New Year will be better than the current year.  We just love the entire experience.

 

We hate the crowds pushing and shoving in the stores.  We hate the holiday car drivers.  We hate seeing people so poor they can't enjoy the holidays.  We hate listening to people tell of their New Year resolutions they will never complete.  We hate the negative energy people who are bah-humbug about the holidays.  We hate the negative energy people who don't believe the New Year will be better than the last.

 

Happiness IS the forgotten ingredient in life.  If there is ever a time to find happiness in your life, the holidays and the New Year is it.  This is the time to enjoy all you've gotten.  This is the time to enjoy all you've given.  This is the time to enjoy everything that is about to happen.  This is the time to feel good about the New Year.

 

This happiness can only happen if you decide to make it happen.  That's right, you can decide to make the holidays and the New Year a happy time or a sad time.  You can be positive about all the things you love about the holidays.  You can also be positive about all the things you hate about the holidays.

 

It's up to you to ignore the pushing crowds, the bad drivers and the annoying negative energy people who don't like the holidays and believe the New Year will not be a happy one. Getting depressed because the world is fucked-up, is not good for your health and your happiness.

 

The one thing we shouldn’t ignore is the people, who no fault of their own, can't enjoy the holidays and the New Year the way we can.  We can give something back to those people.  We can remind ourselves how lucky we are and all we have.  We can:

 

MAKE THE HOLIDAYS AND THE NEW YEAR THE BEST TIME OF OUR LIVES!

 

Living Off Of Past Memories Is Not As Rewarding As Making New Memories

 Living Off Of Past Memories Is Not As Rewarding As Making New Memories

I have so many past memories. Some really bad. Some really good. If you know me, I prefer to focus on the good and great memories. 

My memories of being a kid were great. My memories of my jobs were mostly good and the people I worked with were fabulous. My memories of my Ellen were great. The many trips we took really enhanced my appreciation of the countries and the people of the world. 

I could go on and on about my past positive memories, but this blog is about my rewarding new memories. I just came back from Palm Springs. The memories of the fabulous museum, Zoo and the dinners I had with friends stick with me.

My Joyce makes me great memories every day by just being herself. We already have plans for new memories seeing her family on the holidays. We always have plans for new memories traveling. I anticipate many new wonderful rewarding memories in my future.

OK. what about YOU? Are you stuck in the past memories? Are you having new memories? Are you planning any new memories? Big or small, new positive memories will make you happy. Life is short, so start today.

OLD 2

OLD 2 

A few years ago I wrote a blog Called OLD. This is the updated version:

OLD

 

At ten I felt young. At thirteen I was wishing I was older. At twenty I was married with a child on the way - I still felt young because my career was taking off. At twenty-five I was managing five people, my wife didn't like being a stay home wife, the kids (two kids now) were in need all the time and we were not getting along. I started to feel I was getting OLDER.

 

At thirty-five I was divorced; the kids were in their teens and I was feeling young again because I was free again. At fifty, I was working too hard and managing almost a hundred people. I had a new wife (my Ellen) which was great and the kids were all grown up. I found myself somewhere between feeling young and feeling OLD. 

 

At sixty-five, I was retired, the wife was still great, the kids had moved on, I was on Medicare and didn't have to worry about health insurance - I was feeling young again.

 

Now, I'm soon going to be 81 and these are the best years of my life. I have a new great wife,  I love my home in Las Vegas, I'm greatly enjoying my writing and my blogging, NFL Football and basketball are playing. Sooo, when life is great you can't help feeling young. When life sucks it's too easy to feel OLD.

 

The sad part is seeing friends and other people looking OLD and feeling OLD even though they are much younger than I. Sooo, that leads me to ask: "what about you." Do you still feel young or are you feeling OLD because you're spending too much time focused on your aching bones and the life that's past you bye?

 

If you're in the latter, you're probably not a happy camper and OLD age seems to be coming at you faster than ever. If you love life and still are able to find new and interesting things that fill your day, you most likely are happy and still feel that "young at heart" pulling at your future.

 

It's just my opinion, but I believe OLD is a state of mind and young is a state of mind. Therefore, even if you have a bad job, even if you have a lousy social life, even if you have bad health (I've had the worst year of my life health wise, but I'm loving the fact that I'm leaving tomorrow for Palm Springs to see my wonderful friends - so I feel young) you can choose to feel:

 

OLD OR YOUNG - You Choose

 

 

Thanksgiving - It's Not About The Turkey

 

Thanksgiving - It's Not About The Turkey

 

A few years ago, I wrote a blog called "Thanksgiving - It's Not About The Turkey." I read it again and it still rings home with me and I hope it rings home with you. This is today's edited version.

 

Thanksgiving - It's Not About The Turkey

 

 

Thanks for the times you have given me

 

Thanks for my health even though I ache all over

 

Thanks for the friends and cousins who wish me well, have been there for me through Ellen's death and want me to be happy

 

Thanks for letting me turn 81 soon with my brain intact even though I have CRS (Can't Remember Shit)

 

Thanks for the next 13 years (November 11 (11/11) 2038) I plan to enjoy with all my heart

 

Thanks for my beautiful (both inside and outside) wife Ellen who always had me feel mighty, mighty real

Thanks for being so lucky to have found my wonderful wife Joyce. Finding true love at my age is incredtable

 

Thanks for a dad who taught me about the importance of hard work, never to lie and a strong moral compass

 

Thanks for a dad who gave me a bright brain and a wonderful sense of humor even though he also gave me bad bumpers (bad back, bad spine). It was a great tradeoff - thanks dad 

 

Thanks for a mom who loved and hugged me all the time.

 

Thanks for a mom who taught me to be tolerant to every race, religion and sexual orientation

 

Thanks for the money I've made that has enabled me to have choices in our American way of life

 

Thanks for Bob who got me to believe I was in control of my happiness and could choose happiness over negativism

 

Thanks for me, because since 40 years old I've been making all the right choices

 

Thanks for me because I love what I've become

 

Thanks for the people around the world who read my blogs and my books because it makes me feel valued

 

Thanks for my mentored clients who have enhanced their happiness because of something I gave to them

 

Thanks to all the people who give positive energy out to the Universe so they and the rest of us could have a better life

 

Thanks to America for giving me and most others a chance to create a better life

 

Thanks to all the people around the world who believe love, tolerance and freedom will win out over totalitarianism and terrorism

Thanks for still being alive after open heart surgery

  

To all of you on this wonderful holiday;

 

Focus On The Things To Be Thankful For - Not The Turkey

 

 

Will AI Make Your Life Better

 Will AI Make Your Life Better

Are you sure you know what AI is? Here is a simple definition of AI;

AI, or artificial intelligence, is the ability of a computer or robot to perform tasks that are commonly associated with intelligent beings, such as reasoning, learning, and decision-making. It's a field of computer science that develops systems capable of simulating human intelligence to perform tasks, analyze data, and make predictions or recommendations.  

Today, all AI bots are created by feeding the bots with information. That information comes from the internet and/or the human creating the bot. Therefore, if you are interacting with an AI bot, the responses you get could be the AI creator's personal attitude. So, if the creator is a far right wing person, the response you get from the bot is what you would get from a right wing person.

The companies who create AI for specific use are trying to only load the AI model with information related to that specific use. Therefore, if you're using an AI bot to get medical information, the information loaded into the model will only be medical information. 

An example could be you asking the AI bot, "what could cause the pain in my side." The AI bot would then sift through all the medical information it has to give you the most likely information. If you're calling an answering service, you may get an AI bot that will ask you for information so it can direct you to the right person or department. 

OK, so is AI going to make your life better. Using SIRI and Google has made my life better. However, I have called to get information and the AI bot's responses made me crazy and I had to say: "let me talk to a human person."

AI is different than all the other technologies created over the past. The main reason is that eventually (if not already) these bots will be able to think for themselves (see the movie AI). If used with safeguards, your life will be much better. If in the hands of bad people, AI could make life worse. The military (US and others) are using AI. I'm afraid governments will not respect those safeguards. That AI world is not one I want to live in.

Like it or not AI is here. Like all new technologies AI will not be good for everybody. Many jobs will be displaced. However, many new jobs will pop up. Most of us will be happier because of AI. Sooo, remember, you can't stop technology. If you want to be a happy person, you have to make technology work for you.

Oh, How I Miss My Loved Ones

 Oh, How I Miss My Loved Ones

I loved my father. I respected my father. He was the anchor of the family. I worked with him from 13 to 19 years old. I'm so thankful I got his sense of humor. He knew funny and we laughed a lot together. I'm so thankful I got his smart brain so we could talk to each other on many topics. I'm so thankful I got his moral compass (he never lied and I never lie). Then at 80, he got Parkinson's. Oh, how I miss the man he was.

My sister and I didn't talk for over 40 years. At 50 she got ovarian cancer. I put aside our differences and she did the same. We were 3000 apart but, we talked all the time. I saw her when I could and our times together were great. I lost her at 54. Oh, how I miss the smart, creative, interesting sister she was.

When I moved my mother from Philly to Los Angeles, I really got to know her. She was no longer just a housewife, she was a funny, sweet and loving person. She loved everyone and everyone loved her. I got most of my genes from her. When she went into a nursing home, I always had Tuesdays with Eddie. Oh, how I miss the hugs she gave me.

Then there was My Ellen. I would have never gotten thru my second divorce without her. We had a great 35 years together. She was outgoing and funny. People were attracted to her. I remember a time I picked her up at the airport. When she got off the plane four strangers were hugging her. She died suddenly of a heart attack. Oh, how I miss the good times with My Ellen.

I've lost friends in my life, but two have the biggest impact. Hal Tuens was the wind blowing through my hair. We worked together and we had great times together. He was the silver fox with women in every port. I was his sidekick. He died too young. Oh, how I miss those years with Hal.

By the time I married my love, my friend and my intelligent Joyce, I didn't have any family left (except recently Ethel found me on Facebook). Joyce had a huge family. The head of the family was my then brother-in-law Frank. He was the best brother a guy could have. Everyone loved Frank. His close friends became my friends. He was a uniter always getting everyone together. I only had a very short time with him before he died. Oh, how I miss the little time I had with him.

The reason I'm writing this blog is for you to take a step back and remember your missing loved ones. I hope you have more than a few. Especially think about the ones who have shaped your life. Especially the ones who have changed your life. Especially the ones who have made your life better and happier. Again, I hope you have more than a few.

Music And Happiness

 Music  And Happiness

I grew up with music. Music songs were happy in the 50s and early 60s. The Pat Boones of music was not my kind of music. Black rock and roll made me happy because it had a beat that you could dance to. I was a very good dancer.

When I look back on those times, it puts a smile on my face. When I hear the music of the groups like the Four Tops, The Spinners, The Bus Boys, The Platters, The Drifters, and the Temptations my body has a happy dance. Most of the lyrics if their song were about love and girls. My favorite line from the Temptations was and is, "she makes a blind man talk about see again."

It was rare that the lyrics were political or even negative. The one song I remember (again from the Temptations) was, "papa was a rolling stone." It depicted a life of a poor family where the father was non-existent. The bridge went, "Papa was a rolling stone, wherever he laid his hat was his home and when he died all he left us was alone." 

Back then, if you had a girlfriend, you had a song that was only your and your girlfriend's. Making out to that song and other favorite songs was what you did. Sharing records (the vinyl kind) with friends was fun. 

Some of us would sing some of the songs, as a group, on the street corner. I could do harmony and had a full range that went from bass to falsetto. The kids wanted me in the group. I loved making harmony with my friends.

As you can tell, those days were happy days for me. If you are much younger than I, you probably don't understand the importance of music growing up. Today there are so many distractions that music is just not that important. Back then I didn't have those distractions. 

I'm not saying the younger people don't enjoy their music. What I am saying is that back then, music was part of my sole. So much so, that even if can remember shit (CRS), I could sing five bars of hundreds of the songs I grew up with. Of the millions of reasons I love my Joyce is that she can sing those songs with me. Getting old is not all bad.

I hope this blog hits home with some of you. I hope you have music in your sole. I hope your music reminds you of happy times. If it does, play the ones you love best when life is not going as you would like.

Music And Happiness - What Is It Good For - Absolutely Everything.

You Are What You Believe

 You Are What You Believe

I truly believe I'm a good person. Because of my strong belief, I know the people who know me the best agree that I'm a good person. I have always believed that hard work will be rewarded and get me where I want in life. Because of that belief, I became a hard worker.

Some have a profound belief in religion. Has that belief made them religious - I think so. Has that profound belief shaped their life - I think so. Has that belief gotten them to do things with their life that a non-believer would not do - I think so.

The people who have a strong belief in social values, mostly live their lives adhering to those values. They are what they believe. People who are MEGA conservative, see the world as they believe. They are what they believe.

Who are you? What are you? Do the people who you interact with see you as you see yourself? Thinking you have no beliefs is bullshit. Trying hard to not show your beliefs to others is no way to live your life. Trying to hide your beliefs (and therefore not exposing who you really are) so others won't judge you or dislike you is also no way to live your life.

Be proud of what you believe. Let the world see who you are. You don't have to shove your beliefs down others throat, but you have to make it clear who you really are because,

You Are What You Believe

What Is Going On With You - Write It Down

 

What Is Going On With You - Write It Down

 

At 40 my emotions were all over the map. Marriage problems, financial problems, work problems, you name it - I was living it. The good news was that I was seeking help and Bob was who I needed at that time.

 

I've let you know the many tools Bob gave me to get through that time in my life. One I didn't mention was writing down what was happening to me now and where I wanted to be in the near future. The near future to me is one year from now.

 

Bob didn't give me any rules on what I was to write down. His reasoning was that whatever I wrote down now was probably going to change a hour, a day, a month, etc. after I wrote it down. I still have that little notebook with my writings. Looking at it today brings back so many memories and so many things I changed for the better since then.

 

BTW, these writings are not a diary. A diary is about your daily activity. These writings are about what's going on in your life that you would like to change or that you must change or your progress to that change. 

 

It could be as simple as: "I don't feel happy today." "I need to get in touch with those feelings. "I should talk to someone about what I'm feeling. "Is this how I'm going to be feeling a year from today. "What is in my control to make sure I don't feel this way a month or a year from today."

 

You may think that writing What Is Going On With You isn't necessary. That may be true, but there is a major benefit to writing it down. Thoughts come and go. The written word is there and it's not going away. It can be reviewed later. You can decide if what you wrote is still accurate. You can decide if you want to change or update what you wrote. The written words can be shared with others so there is no misinterpretation.

 

Sooo, start today writing down What Is Going On With You. Even if it's all good stuff, the good stuff can be reviewed when things are happening in your life that's not so good. It's one tool in your tool chest that can help you through a tough time. It got me through the worst time of my life.

 

Where Will You Be Next Year

 Where Will You Be Next Year

I have a dear friend who is going through a hard time. His main problem is that he is very unhappy and doesn't feel things will get better. In my conversations with him, I asked him to write down Where Will He Be Next Year

This got me thinking about my own situation. Where Will I Be Next Year? Will I be dead ( after all, I did just have open heart surgery)? Will I be still going through rehab? Will I still be the positive energy person I always am? Will I still love life? Will I be on my River Cruise? Will I be planning my trip to Paris to see my dear friend?

Everyone says "live for today." Although, that's a good way to live your life, it's also a good thing to consider your future. Today seems much better when I think about my River Cruise and Paris. I didn't always think this way, so it's interesting what a potential, not coming out of surgery alive, can alter your thinking.

My dear friend is unhappy today. When he writes down Where He Will Be Next Year, will he still be unhappy? Will he write down the changes and tough decisions he has to make so he won't be unhappy a year from now? Will he execute those decisions/changes to make sure he is happy a year from now.

What this surgery has changed in me is that I don't want next year to be the same as this year. I've been happy for a long time now. As I said before: I love my wife, my house, my car my friends/family and my life. Why not just want the same a year from now? Well, I now want to be greedy. I want all that, and everything else that's possible for me to have.

I want my dear friend to see things the way I'm now seeing things - he deserves it. I want to take, the love of my life, on this journey with me - she deserves it. I want,

Where I'll Be Next Year Better Than This Year.

Many Rivers To Cross

 Many Rivers To Cross

I haven't been feeling great physically for the past six months, but what should I expect from an eighty year old with a bad back and a blood disorder called CLL. The CLL alone can give you a day of feeling tired.

Three weeks ago, I met with my CLL doctor to go over my three month blood tests. We agreed that my CLL had progressed to a point that medication was in order. I started on the medication and POW - I got all the negative side affects. The worst was feeling light headed and dizzy.

By the fifth night, I got out of bed feeling dizzy and fell down in the bathroom breaking four ribs. The family ER sent me to the hospital where they discovered I had major heart problems. The diagnosis was three clogged arteries and my heart was running at 20 percent (50 percent is normal for my age).

Since I've never experienced heart problems before, I found out that a small percentage of people never get chest pains or major shortness of breath before they have a heart attack. My luck, was I was one of them. On the other hand, I was lucky that the CLL medication got me to fall down and break four ribs so they could discover my heart problems. 

When the heart surgeon told me I had a 20 percent chance of not making it through the surgery, I told her I was focused on the 80 percent. I was right and the surgery went great. I'm home now with a few complications. My heart is getting better. We are shooting for 40 percent in the next three months. However, everything tastes like crap (I've lost over 10 pounds) and sleeping is difficult.

The things I've taken away from this experience is I never wavered regarding if I was going to be OK. Also and much to my surprised, I never got angary or depressed. Just the opposite. Before the surgery, I was still looking forward to my birthday trip in December to spend time with two great guys we met on our cruise. Also, I was looking forward to our river cruise in May. Many Rivers To Cross.

Now, I'm looking forward to seeing John Fogarty in March, my tastebuds coming back and gaining all my weight back and (as always) spending time with my wonderful Joyce. I hope you all understand how precious life is. I hope you all understand that shit happens. I hope you all understand that we all have Many Rivers To Cross before we go out to the Universe.

What Is A Racist

 What Is A Racist

If someone says "go get yourself a good Jew Lawyer" is that person a racist? Well, Jews have always focused on education. Earlier on, Jews couldn't get jobs in corporate America so they became doctors, lawyers accountants and merchants. So, Jews focused on their law degree to become a great lawyer. In my opinion getting a Jew lawyer is the right thing to do. Therefore, not a racist.

Orange man is deporting every brown person he can get his hands on, is that being a racist? well, let's look at that. Is it because all brown people are killers - no. Are all brown taking advantage of the government - no. Are some brown people in America illegally - so what. They are part of our great country and work hard. This man is a racist.

black people are lazy, uneducated and didn't have it so bad when they were slaves (orange man) is that a racist statement. If you still believe that, then you are a racist. Thank the universe there are not too many of them running around

Is someone who uses the term nigger a racist? the answer is yes and no. Some black people call other black people niggers. Saying, "your my nigger" is endearing to a friend. However, if a white person is uneducated and stupid and then calls a black person, he does not even know, a nigger, that's racist.

I've always wondered why brown and black people are hated by white people? What does their skin have to do with what's inside. Believing that all Brown and black people are killers is ridiculous. Did you know that almost all serial killers are white. 

Someone who says white people, from the Ozarks, are all racist. Are those people racists? Well, if they all voted for orange man, then I guess I'm a racist.

The Past Is The Past

 The Past Is The Past

I heard a statement that reminded me of how I choose to live my life:

"Too Much Remembering Of The Past Might Cause Unhappiness Of The Future"

If you're a reader of my blogs, you know I've had an up and down life. I spent too much time remembering the bad times and not enough time remembering the good times. Now that I'm 80, I've decided to stop any focus on the past because today are the best days of my life.

This is especially true if you lost a love one. It's hard to move forward. It's hard to stop putting the loss in your thoughts constantly. I know because losing My Ellen was a big blow. I know because losing my son was a big blow. 

However, by putting my focus on today has enabled me to find the love of my life in Joyce. It has also enabled me to focus on my wonderful daughter-in-law who was there for my son till the end. 

Let me be clear, I'm not saying for me or you to forget the past or to forget loved ones. There will always be a part of my heart for My Ellen and my son. What I am saying is remembering the past as a consent will leave no room for living in the future. 

The Past Is The Past The Future Is Now.

Opportunity

 Opportunity

 Hall Of Fame Dallas Cowboys Defensive back and football coach Deion Sanders said:
“We all have needs & we all desire Opportunity! If given opportunity you may not be where you are now. Opportunity is like the dream we had when we were younger. We must be prepared for the opportunity we're praying for. The right opportunity will change your life.” 

The thing that's missing from his statement is that "when opportunity knocks, nothing will come of it if you don't take that opportunity and make something of it." I've had opportunities I took advantage of and opportunities I didn't. 

I've built a great career and life with the opportunities I've had. However, I never went for the brass ring, because I was brought up to limit my risks and had gotten married at 20 with kids that made risk taking difficult. Being a multi-multi millionaire or maybe even a billionaire were not happening because I wasn't willing to be an entrepreneur in the computer business. I had the talent to do so, but never took the risk. I had many opportunities to do so and probably would have if my choices were different.

Don't get me wrong, I loved my career and the choices I made have given me a great life. I guess, since I grew up poor, being super rich never was that important to me.

Opportunities happen all the time. Some are small (like being a football cheerleader) and some are big (like being an entrepreneur). The thing is, you should take the opportunities that feel right "at that time" and don't look back and say I should have.

Lastly, make sure you're always looking out for those opportunities. Who knows what life changing opportunities might come your way no matter if you are young or old.

WAR

 WAR

Many years ago, The Temptations song "WAR" had the line "WAR, what is it good for - absolute nothing." That was then and the world is still at WAR.

WAR on nations, WAR on countries. WAR on tariffs, WAR on Spanish people, WAR on Jews, WAR on California, WAR on Universities and WAR on the United States Far right and the Far left. "WAR, what is it good for - absolutely nothing."

I don't get it. Haven't we learned from all the WARs of the past. What's it all about? Well, DAH, it's all about power, control, money, Oil, and religion. The confusing part is that the world has enough Oil, money and power. Does the United States need more power? Does Russia need more power? Does any country that's at WAR need more power? "WAR, what is it good for - absolutely nothing."

Why are there religious WARs? I was raised to believe religion was all about love, doing right by others, Caring for others, belief in a GOD that only has love in his/her heart and who doesn't want others killing each other. Do those countries/nations having religious WARs not believe in a loving GOD who doesn't want all the killing? "WAR, what is it good for - absolutely nothing."

Well, if we don't want any WAR we can March, be heard via media and most of all VOTE. Within ourselves, we have to stop fighting with others over religion, politics, money, our spouse and relatives, ETC. Yes, if we care about people and ourselves, we can stop fighting. The reason we NEED to stop is because;

"WAR, what is it good for - absolutely nothing."

Complete Control Of Your Happiness

 Complete Control Of Your Happiness

Could you imagine if you had complete control of your happiness. Most would say that's impossible because there are too many variables. For instance, how can I predict the mood of my boss? All kinds of shit happens at work. Wife and kids can affect my happiness. The stock market is unpredictable. What if I get into a car accident? My health is not guaranteed. The world is going in the wrong direction. My government is going in the wrong direction. WOW, too many variables.

Below are a few "what ifs" for you to consider.

What if your boss's mood didn't affect you? Be a professional and do your job. If he or she tries to make you unhappy, quit, go to another department or just ignore him/she. The boss is probably in a bad mood because he/she is not happy. Instead of being upset, try being sympatric or empathic to his/she problem. By doing so, you will be in control of your happiness.

What if all kinds of shit is happening at work and you agree it's not your business nor your problem. Focus on the happiness you will have after work or focus on the great ham sandwich you had at lunch. By doing so, you will be in control of your happiness

What if you don't try to solve you wife or kids problems. You can't help them if you are unhappy, so don't let them make you unhappy. You can't stop the outside world from doing the things they are going to do. However, you can refrain from letting the outside world from making you unhappy. At ten, I would say to the bullies "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." If you believe that, you will be in control of your happiness.

Financial problems are the highest cause of people being unhappy. What if you live by the slogan "all you need to have a happy life is food to eat, air to breathe and shelter. Everything else is cosmetic. Maybe someone else has more than you, but they can't be happier than you if you are happy with what you have. Taking control of your finances puts you in control of your happiness.

What if you are in a car accident and you choose to not let it upset you. If someone else caused the accident, getting mad at that person will not repair your car. Your insurance will repair the car. Not getting angry or frustrated will allow you to control your happiness.

What if you accept your health as it is, not what it used to be or not what you want it to be. Knowing you are doing everything you can to make things better is a hell of a lot better than "woe is me." Accepting your health will allow you to control your happiness.

Lastly, the world is going to shit and the government is not making it any better. This is a fact. What if you stop letting the situation affect you. Put yourself in first position. Believe all that bad stuff will not affect you unless you let it. If you want to protest, do it if it makes you happy. I've decided for my happiness, to not listen. By doing so, 

I Am In Control Of My Happiness.

You Can't Find Happiness From The Unhappiness Of Others

You Can't Find Happiness From The Unhappiness Of Others

While spending time with my close friend Cindy, she told me that she was writing down sayings that she believed were things to live her life by. The saying she liked best was: " You Can't Find Happiness From The Unhappiness Of Others." Since I believed in that saying also, I'm writing this blog for you.

My first wife was mad at me when I left her. She was so mad that she did everything she could to make me miserable. She achieved her goal, but did it make her happy? According to my sons, the answer is no. My second wife was also angry at me when I left. She hurt me emotionally and financially. Did it make her happy - no, because I don't think anything will make her happy.

When I saw Bob at 40, my happiness got much better. Having two wonderful wives in my life, made me even happier. Bob taught me to always wish others well no matter the circumstances. To this day, I wish my first two wives happiness.

Seeing the anger my first two wives lived with made me realize, You Can't Find Happiness From The Unhappiness Of Others. Happiness comes from happiness with yourself, not from the happiness or unhappiness of others. Happiness comes from loving life, not from others lack of loving life. Happiness comes from wishing others happiness. 

What about you! Have you ever said: " I wish that bastard would go to hell?" Have you ever thought: " If that bastard would just die, I would be happy." Have you ever thought: " my life would be so much better if he/she would be unhappy the rest of their lives?"

Guess what, you would never be happy thinking those things. Wishing others happiness is your path to happiness. Sooo, even if someone has done you wrong, please remember:

You Can't Find Happiness From The Unhappiness Of Others

Hopes And Dreams

Hopes And Dream

At 8, I had many Hopes And Dreams. I wanted to be a ball player. At 10, I realized I wasn't going to be good enough, so I wanted to be a football coach. In my teenage years, reality struck home and I realized I needed to make money. Reality (and a bad back) meant football was not in my future.

Not knowing what my financial future had in store for me, I stumbled into computer science. My Hopes And Dreams as a computer scientist became a reality. However, my Hopes And Dreams of being involved in football never left me. Being successful in computers, allowed me to Dream about working for NASA. It almost happened, but at the last minute NASA cancelled the MOL project.

I went through a Hopes And Dreams dry spell, until I started writing. My Hopes And Dreams of being a writer, publisher and Blogger were satisfied. However, I still have Hopes And Dreams that someday my novel will wind up in the hands of a movie producer or that my 600 plus Blogs will get me a column in a newspaper.

I never want to lose my Hopes And Dreams. It feels great to think about my Hopes And Dreams before I fall asleep. Sooo, what about YOU? No matter how old you become, it's always wonderful to have Hopes And Dreams. Don't focus on if those Hopes And Dreams will ever come true or be realistic. 

Hopes And Dreams Will Just Make You Happy.

Another Dimension

 Another Dimension

Just for the purpose of this blog, let's assume there is no supreme being (God) who watches over us. If you are a spiritual person, you believe your essence goes somewhere after you're dead. What if that essence goes to Another Dimension?

If so, that would explain a lot. That Dimension would reject the evil ones and embrace the good ones. That Dimension would explain why some people see their loved ones when they have a near death experience. That Dimension could be responsible for some people who believe they have been reincarnated from another life. That Dimension would be all about love and happiness.

Religious people would say that Another Dimension is bullshit. There has to be a God who reigns over heaven for the good ones and the bad ones go to hell. There has to be a God because the Bible says so. There has to be a God because my house of worship says so.

When asked, have you or anyone else has seen God, your answer is that you just have to have faith. When asked why there is so much death and pain in this world, your answer is that it's God's will. When something really fabulous happens, you say it's God's miracle. When asked what happens when you die, you say I will go with God. Religious people agree that God works in mysterious ways. 

Sooo, is it so hard to believe that someone you can't see, touch or taste might not exist? Even if you are religious, is it so hard to believe there might be an alternative like:

Another Dimension

Contact

 Contact

For the second time I watched the movie Contact. It won 14 awards and Jodie Foster won the Golden Globe award for best actress. The movie is about searching for intelligent life in the universe.

With ought giving too much away, the women managing the SETI program gets a message from a planet many, many light years away. Now the United States and other Nations realize we are not alone, political, military security and religious concerns are voiced.

The intelligent life sends information that will enable Nations to build a device so that some one person can visit them. The fight as to who that will be gets political, military concerns and especially religious concerns. The women managing SETI is a scientist and doesn't believe in God. Because of her lack of belief in God, she doesn't get picked, but events happen where she is sent.

She goes and sees her dead father in a setting that is all about peace and love. The setting and her father is manufactured to make her comfortable. Even though she is told that it is manufactured, she realizes the intelligent life is all about peace and love.

I already said too much about the movie, but I wanted to share the messages I got from this wonderful movie. Intelligent life does exist in the Universe. With the trillions and trillions of stars in the Universe at least one planet has to have intelligent life.

The second thing I got from this movie is that it's not about a God that oversees our life, it's about the power of the Universe whether that's one dimensional or multi-dimensional. I'm a computer scientist. I don't believe in a God. However, I am spiritual. I do believe there is something more we can see and understand with our limited five senses. Therefore, I believe my spirit will go out to the Universe when I die.

The third thing I got from this movie is the Universe is all about peace and love. It's not about power, religious and territorial war, politics, prejudice, money and all that negative shit. I say, how can you be a spiritual person and  believe in anything other than peace and love.

The last thing I realized about this movie is that searching for life outside our world is not necessary when there are human beings who believe in peace and love right in our country - right in our neighborhood - right in our house. 

Go find those people and give them the peace and love we all deserve. 

Mr. Perfect

 Mr. Perfect

When it came to my health, I always told my doctors that I'm Mr. Perfect. After many, many check-ups, I was still Mr. Perfect (BTW, I don't count my bad back because that's something I've been living with most of my life and it never stopped me from loving and getting the most out of life). 

Then it happened. After a trip to Los Angeles six weeks ago, I got COVID/Pneumonia. Two trips to the hospital (6 days overall) and a month of recovery, I'm almost back to Mr. Perfect. My head is still a little weird (OK, more weird than normal), I'm thirsty all the time, and my taste buds are about 80 percent. Doctors say it might be a year before I'm Mr. Perfect again.

These last two months have given me a new perspective on my life. Being Mr. Perfect almost all of my life, I assumed that if I eat well, don't take drugs (and now Alcohol), and exercise, I will continue to be Mr. Perfect. I don't feel that way now.

More than ever, I realize my health can change at any moment. I can't take it for granted. When I'm healthy, I need to appreciate it more. If I become unhealthy, I need to do everything to make me better. Most of all, I can't let sickness stop me from loving life.

What about YOU? Are you appreciating your health? Have you stopped loving life if you're sick? Are you doing everything possible to make sure your;

Mr. Perfect

A Rainy Day

 A Rainy Day

I assume you think this blog is about saving money for a rainy day. Well, you're wrong. When I was young, I loved a rainy day (I also loved a snowy day). On a rainy day, I would sit on my porch, swing on my swing, and watch the rain. That was a fun day for me.

I've been living in Los Angeles and now Las Vegas for over 40 years (half my life), so the rain is a rare event. However, when it does rain, it's special. In Vegas I have an overhang outside my front door. So, when it rains, I open the door and watch it. A downpour with thunder and lighting is extra special. Hearing the splashing of rain caused by cars going by, reminds me of my young days on my porch.

I guess the reason A Rainy Day is so special to me is because I feel relaxed. The rhythm of the swing swinging me and the rain coming down made me relaxed. As a hyperactive person, being relaxed was unique to me. As a hyperactive older person, A Rainy Day gets me to sit back and relax.

Do you have A Relaxed Rainy Day. It may not be just when it rains, it could be anything that gets you to relax. In this hyper crazy world, getting all the shit that's going on, out of your head, and relax is important to your health and happiness.

In the stressful environment of work, having a relaxing day will pull you up from the stress of your job. Social stress is real. Many friends and family don't realize or accept that you can be under Social stress. That lack of understanding, can make your Social stress worse. 

Sooo, when the stress of your life get's bad, have;

A Rainy Day

Unconditional Love

 Unconditional Love

Before she died seven years ago, my dog Zita gave me and my wife Unconditional Love. I didn't have to ask for it nor did I have to love her back, she gave it because that's the way she was. By doing so, we loved her so much that when she died, we were sad for a long time.

My mother gave me Unconditional Love. She hugged and kissed me all the time. She always said that she loved me. I loved her back and I paid it forward when she became old. My father didn't have the tools to hug me or say he loved me, but I knew he did. At forty, I went from LA to Philly to hug him and tell him I loved him. We both cried and hugged. Then he said, "I love you son." I never felt that good before.

Growing up, my friend Joey loved me unconditionally. We had an unbreakable bond. However, my first wife did not. My second wife also didn't give me Unconditional Love. My third wife, Ellen, loved me, but like my father, she didn't have the tools to show her love. We rarely hugged and she never said "I love you Kenny." However, we both trusted and respected each other and knew we would be there for each other. It was a good marriage.

Then came Joyce. She hugs me all the time and we never go a day without saying " I love you." She gives me Unconditional Love and I give it right back. It feels so good to be loved Unconditionally. At 80 my days are getting shorter. To have Joyce in my life now, makes me want to live until 200. Every night we say how lucky we are to enjoy the rest of our life together.

Sooo, what about YOU? Do you have someone that gives you Unconditional Love? Do you give someone Unconditional Love? If you do, doesn't it feel really good? Unconditional Love is important for your happiness and health. If you don't have that Unconditional Love in your life, it's not to late. However, If it isn't in the cards for you;

Get A Dog

Martin Luther King

 Martin Luther King

"Darkness Cannot Drive Out Darkness, Only Light Can Drive Out Darkness"

Martin Luther King

The world is in darkness. Wars, Dictators, famine, Antisemitism, ETC. The United States is in darkness. Hatred, anger, Antisemitism, the far left vs. the far right (there isn't anybody in the middle anymore), Racism, ETC.

What about the darkness in the United States right now. Will we be tearing apart families from their children? Will we be separating the haves from the have nots? Will we be giving rich children a much better education by sending them to private school vs. poor children who have to go to public school which will be denied public money? 

Will we be threating to taking over Canada by economic threat (how is that different from Russia taking over the Ukraine by military threat)? Will the Oligarchs, running the country, move Democracy into the darkness? Will racism rise in the country? Will women's rights be the thing of the past? Will Gay marriage be eliminated?

I'm a LIGHT person. I see the Darkness, but I choose to stay in the Light. I believe in America. I believe WE can change the course of Darkness to Light. As long as we have the right to vote, We can see the Light in the future. I believe if voting rights are taken away from us, we (all of us Americans) will use Every Means to stop the Darkness.

What about You. Are you a Darkness person or a Light person?

Who Do You Trust

 Who Do You Trust

Trust is one of those very important words the definition of which is:

 "assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something."

A relationship is built on trust. Spouse, friends, relative relationships can only be honored if there is trust. Many divorces are caused by the lack of trust. Having friends or family you're not sure you can trust are not truly friends. Having trust in yourself is critical to your happiness.

Insecurity happens because you don't trust yourself. Not trusting others can lead to insecurity. Some say: "don't trust anyone." In my opinion, not trusting anyone is being paranoid. Not trusting anyone will put you in permeant unhappiness.

Sometimes you just have to trust someone. For example, if you don't trust an employee will get the job done, you will find yourself micromanaging the task. Employees hate micromanaging managers. Micromanaging leads to a lot of stress. It will shorten your life.

I live my life by trusting anyone I first meet. I tell them I trust them, but if you lose my trust, you will never get it back - no do overs. Living my life this way is less stressful and makes me happy.

If there is someone you're not sure you can trust, you have two choices: 

Choice One, don't be with that person, don't hire that person or tell that person, employee or company you don't trust them. 

Choice Two. Trust and test. If it's a person, do what I do (see above). If it's someone you hire to complete a job, trust them to do a small part of that job. If they succeed, trust them to complete the rest of the job.

Remember, even if you have trusted a person or a company, you can always recover if they lose your trust. Just don't let yourself become stressed out because you're worried they will become untrustworthy.