The Life Of The Party

The Life Of The Party

When I was younger I was the life of the party. I'll never forget the time I streaked at a party. If you're too young to know what streaking is, in my day, it meant taking off all of your clothes and running past a lot of people. It was really fun to do that in the sixties and seventies. Today it's not political correct - UGH!! When did we lose our sense of humor? 

OK, back to my story. There was a big party going on in the basement (something people who lived their entire life in California know nothing about because they only have garages not basements) of a friend's house. All my east coast friends were at the party. My first wife and I were sitting on the steps leading down to the basement when I decided to liven up the party.

I went upstairs to the bathroom and took off all of my clothes. My heart was pounding in my chest. I then ran from the bathroom down the stairs into the middle of the basement. I then did a little dance in front of all my friends and then ran through the crowd to the basement bathroom. On my way I saw my friends laughing their asses off as my wife slid down the stairs in shock.

When I got to the basement bathroom, I looked at myself in the mirror and was proud of myself for being the life of the party. When my heart stopped pounding, I wrapped a towel around my ass and private parts and went out into the room. All my friends (except my first wife) were screaming and cheering while patting me on the back as I went back to the upstairs bathroom and put my clothes back on.

When the kids today take their clothes off it's to have sex not to be the life of the party. I wish I had videos of those times because I would show them how to have a great fun time.

I'm way too old to streak anymore, but I still love having friends over and sharing stories that make us all laugh. That's what's great about being older - you have many, many stories.

I miss my ex-friend who was the life of the party. He had the best stories that we all laughed at until we came close to lock-jaw. He was loud. He was crude. HE WAS FUNNY!!!

When I go over our friends John and Jean's house for dinner or they come over to our house for dinner, we have a fabulous meal, laugh at our stories and before night's end, John and I get a little drunk and sing our hearts out at all the oldies. We love the music and don't give a shit that we sound horrible, because to us we are:

 The Life Of The Party

Just Having A Job Should Be Appreciated

Just Having A Job Should Be Appreciated

Few people love their job. Some people hate their job. The majority of people neither love nor hate their job - they just tolerate it. I say, Just Having A Job Should Be Appreciated

It's depressing being an able bodied person who can't get a job. It's especially depressing being good at something, but you can't find a job in your field. It's depressing sending in resumes and getting no response. It's depressing going through the web or newspaper and finding nothing. The most depressing thing of all is sitting home with nothing to do while your spouse is at work. That's why I say, Just Having A Job Should Be Appreciated.

We all want a job we love. However, it's less important to love your job than to have a job. It's more important to take a job for less money than turn one down for that reason. It's more important to take a job with a lesser title or status than to turn one down for that reason.

I started working at ten. I've had a job until I retired at sixty two. I've been fired and had to take a job for less money and status. I've had jobs I loved and ones I hated. This experience taught me one major thing - Just Having A Job Should Be Appreciated. 

Sooo, whatever your job is, embrace it. Find something to love about it even if the only thing good is it's close to a great lunch place. Find a way to accept your boss even if he or she is an asshole. Get along with your co-workers. Seek out the ones you can befriend. Accept the product(s) you are involved with unless you know they hurt other people.

Think about, see and have empathy for those who are standing on a corner with their friends trying to find a job of any kind even if it's only for that day. You see, those people believe:

Just Having A Job Should Be Appreciated

I Believe That Children Are Our Future

I Believe That Children Are Our Future

The opening lyrics of the song: "The Greatest Love Of All" song by many artists most notably George Benson and Whitney Houston, are about Children being our future. The song itself is more about you believing that what's inside of you is and should be "The Greatest Love Of All."

I wrote about "The Greatest Love Of All" in a previous blog, but now I want to focus on the Children:

"I believe that children are our future;

Teach them well and let them lead the way.

Show them all the beauty they possess inside.

Give them a sense of pride, to make it easier;

Let the children's laughter remind us how we use to be"

The last line; "Let the children's laughter remind us how we use to be" is my favorite. Do you remember laughing as a kid? We laughed at the stupidest things. We made faces so others would laugh. We even did pratfalls so we and others would laugh. 

Then we got older and all that stopped - WHY? I'm not saying we don't laugh anymore. What I am saying is we don't laugh enough. A really good Comedian can make us laugh. Animals can make us laugh. Even watching someone else take a fall can make us laugh. However, when did we stop being the source of laughing at ourselves?

I've said in a previous blog that when someone asks me how I value my life, I tell them by the number of times I laugh. Children (especially when they are very young) need to see adults laugh. They need to see adults laugh at themselves. They need to see us make faces, do pratfalls or any other stupid thing to make us and they laugh.

The other lyrics above are so true:

"Teach them well and let them lead the way.

Show them all the beauty they possess inside.

Give them a sense of pride, to make it easier"

Could you imagine a country full of kids that had parents who could teach them well and then let them lead the way? Could you imagine a country full of kids that had parents who could show them all the beauty they possess inside? Could you imagine a country full of kids that had parents who could give them a sense of pride? 

I assure you we would have a very different world if the next generation of kids all had parents who did what those beautiful lyrics of this song asked them to do. The parents who raise their kids that way are the ones who also say:

I Believe That Children Are Our Future

I'm Your Mentor Not Your Decision Maker

I'm Your Mentor Not Your Decision Maker

You may or may not know that I have a very small Personal Mentoring practice. I'm not a doctor, I'm a mentor. A doctor is book trained - I'm life trained. If you've been reading my blogs you know I've had a very complex life with many ups and downs. If you've been reading my blogs you know I've had a rich career and worked and managed many different departments in the High Tech field.

In my late thirties I turned my life around by focusing on MY happiness. I changed jobs for happiness. I divorced twice, giving up financial security, for MY happiness. Yes, I'm a very good Mentor because I'm life trained.

My clients come in all ages and all different backgrounds. When I first meet them, I ask them: "why are you here." Their answers are specific, but their real issues are complex. "How do I get a better job" is their answer, but the real issue is they're not happy. After probing (sometimes for months) they realize there are things going on inside them that is holding them back from finding the happiness they deserve.

Once they've come to grips with the fact that the issue is them not the outside world (like their boss, their career, their spouse, their family, their friends, etc.), they look to me to fix the problem. That's when they get the hard truth that my job is to make them "see" themselves and what they can change to create a better and happier life.

It's kind of scary for them when they realize I'm Your Mentor Not Your Decision Maker. It's kind of scary for them when they realize they have the power to make the tough decisions to create a happier life. It's kind of scary for them when they realize they must change their attitude from: "I would be happier if "THEY" would stop treating me this way" to: "this is my problem and I need to stop blaming others and start making hard decisions to change my life."

Nobody wants to go through a divorce. Nobody wants to risk job security to change a job that would be more fulfilling. Nobody wants to get rid of friends or family members that are bring them down with their negative energy. However, these are the kind of decisions my clients have to make to change their lives for the better.

As a Mentor who cares deeply for my clients, I wish I could make these decisions for them, but:

I'm Your Mentor Not Your Decision Maker

Saint Patty's Day

Saint Patty's Day

Saint Patty's Day is coming soon. The Irish have been known to have a few bruskies on that day or by the way on any day. That reminds me of the old joke: "what's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake - one less drunk!"

In case you're interested:

March 17 is the anniversary of the death of St. Patrick, who died in the fifth century. St. Patrick is credited with bringing Christianity to the people of Ireland. The Irish have celebrated the holiday for more than 1,000 years. St. Patrick's Day falls during Lent, so many Irish families attend church in the morning and celebrate St. Patrick's Day in the afternoon. Irish bacon and cabbage is the traditional meal that Irish people consume on St. Patrick's Day.

My wife is going all out on that day. She's making the traditional corn-beef and cabbage. She also is having guacamole as starter so we will have something green on the table. I don't think I have any Irish friends so we've invited friends from our neighbor bar. At least then we know we'll get the drinking part right.

I won't be wearing green because green is a color I just don't get. In my eyes, green doesn't go with anything. I don't have a green shirt or green pants or green shoes. My wife says I could wear brown with green, but for some reason my brain just can't connect the dots.

Some bars are serving green beer - UGH!!! I don't think I could get it down my throat. The things I have heard and read about the Irish is that they are fun loving people and in your face like the New York and Philadelphia people I grew up with. I like that part about them the most. Telling the truth right to my face is appreciated.

Many don't know this, but before I was born (and that's a long time ago), the Irish dealt with prejudice that was even greater than the prejudice the African Americans had to endure. I guess those prejudiced assholes hated green more than black.

Well, I'm looking forward to Saint Patty's Day. 

Good food, good friends, good booze and a big smile on my face.

Emotional Silence

Emotional Silence

If you read my last blog you know that our beloved dog, Zita, has now taken her positive and loving energy out to the Universe. This is my first experience losing a family member that has been with us for thirteen years. What my wife and I are feeling now is the quietness in our home.

Zita was old and in her old age she stopped barking at other dogs or people she didn't know. The fact of the matter was, other than a few silent farts, she would be asleep most of the day. Even though she was quiet, without her presence, the house seems empty. My gym Trainer who lost both of his cats, called it Emotional Silence.

Zita had a way of sleeping in spots where you had to step over her to get where you were going. I guess she wanted to make sure we knew she still existed. Even now I still look for her when I'm going into the kitchen.

A friend of ours suggested to my wife that she get a hearty plant that we can look at and remember her. Yesterday, I heard my wife saying a few happy things to the plant. This plant is one of the things that are helping us deal with our Emotional Silence.

The other major thing that we are doing is allowing ourselves to grieve. My wife said she felt blue today, but was OK yesterday. I felt blue yesterday, but after a hard workout at the gym today, I'm feeling much better today. Writing this blog is my way of dealing with the Emotional Silence.

If you've lost a love one that was a big part of your life remember one thing someone once told me - this too will pass. If you allow yourself to grieve, if you do things to remember the great times you had with the love one (my wife's plant and she and I have a picture of Zita as our computer desktop),

The Emotional Silence will eventually pass.