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Superstitions Horoscopes Fortune Cookies
I sent this blog in 2013. Just for fun.
Superstitions Horoscopes Fortune
Cookies
Superstition is a pejorative term for belief in supernatural causality: that one event leads to the cause of
another without any natural process linking the two events
World Superstitions
The French believe that
handling a loaf of bread upside-down or placing it upside-down on the table
will brings hunger and bad luck to both the giver and the recipient.
Russia, There is a belief that
unmarried people should avoid sitting at the corner of the table. They will
find difficulties finding their life partner and will not get married.
One superstition held in
Germany that if someone has difficulty dying, one may ease the process by
lifting up three tiles on the roof.
In China, the colour white is
associated with death/mourning. It is best to avoid sending invitations or
flowers in white, money in a white envelopes are called 'pak kum' usually given
to the family of the deceased to help with the funeral cost
In Japan, it is believed that
you'll have a short life if you sleep at night with your head facing north. It
is customary that Japanese corpses are laid with their head facing north during
'wake' ceremony.
Common superstitions
Beginner's luck
Don't walk under that ladder
Black cats crossing your path
A rabbit's foot will bring you
luck
Bad luck comes in threes
Careful with that mirror
666
Knock on wood
Make a wish on a wishbone
Cross your fingers
No umbrellas inside
Friday the 13th
I'm not superstitious
because I don't buy into the idea that supernatural causality where one event leads to the cause
of another without any natural process linking the two events. What about you?
What are your superstitions? Do you believe in them so strongly that you would
control your life around them?
When walking down the street do
you go around that ladder in front of you? I know you know that superstition is
bullshit, but just to be sure, you avoid walking under that ladder. Your
attitude is "who knows what could happen - I just don't want to give
myself bad Juju.
How many of you keep something
in your pocket or wallet that you believe will bring you good luck? How many of
you have a money tree in your house? How many of you do everything you can to
not break a mirror because you believe you'll have bad luck. How many of you
buy into this fung-shway crap?
When I was young there was a
superstition that when you're walking down the street you have to avoid
stepping on the cracks in the sidewalk. The saying goes "step on a crack,
break your mother's back." Could that superstition be any more stupid. I
could go on and on with these ridiculous superstitions, but many believe in
them.
The fact is that some people
are paranoid about some superstitions. They actually let them have an impact on
their lives and their happiness. Ask yourself, how the hell can a rabbit's foot
or a coin bring you good luck? Do you really believe if you break a mirror or
have a black cat run in front of you, you'll have bad luck? What the hell does
a mirror or a black cat have anything to do with luck? As a matter of fact what
the hell is luck? Believing in luck is probably the most insidious superstition
of them all.
Shit happens all the time. You
can't control the future no matter how much you plan for it. Superstitions are
statement in the future. Sooo, if you can't control the future then how can a
superstition which is based on hundreds or thousands of years
of folklore, actually have an impact on your future. Get with it people,
you know it's bullshit. However, just in case, maybe you should knock on wood
if something good happens to you.
You now know how I feel about
superstitions, how do you think I feel about Horoscopes and Fortune Cookies. If
you said "bullshit" then you know me. I'm not talking about people
who read your horoscope by learning about the date and time you were born or in
what moon you were born into. I believe that's as much bullshit as someone
reading your cards and telling you what happened in the past and what's going
to happen in the future.
However, many people put their
faith in these Soothsayers. Who am I to judge. Oh, that's right, I'm a normal
thinking individual who doesn't believe in faith in the first place (see my
previous blog titled "Faith."
When it comes to horoscopes,
I'm talking about the ones in the newspaper or other media. Do you really
believe that today is not a good day to try something new? Who are these
horoscope writers talking about anyway? Are they talking about my 89 year old
mother who is nothing like a close friend of mine who just happens to be born
on the same day?
You can't really believe that
the daily horoscope is correct for the tens of thousands of people (who are all
different and born in different years) who read and react on these bullshit
horoscopes. Do you realize these daily horoscopes are written by a news
writer who was delivering internal mail six months before he or she was asked,
by the editor, to write the daily horoscope. If you don’t, then I know
a surgeon who is a master at performing lobotomies.
Now for those of you who
believe in horoscopes, you must believe in the fortunes inside Fortune Cookies.
Sooo, let's take an example. Speaker of the House of Representatives in
Congress, John Boehner goes to Panda Express to get his Chinese lunch. He gets
back to his office in Congress and opens up his Fortune Cookie. It says:
"your personality will win over everybody." Speaker Boehner reads the
fortune, goes out of his office and runs through Congress waving his fortune
while screaming: "I have a personality, I have a personality, I have a
personality!!!
Get real people! These cookies
have fortunes written by a machine and then stuffed into a weird shaped cookie.
IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! However, if your desperate for good news
(BTW, there is never bad news in a Fortune Cookie) hold off on getting the
lobotomy and allow the fortune to put a smile on your face.
The bottom line is that if you
believe in Superstitions, Horoscopes and Fortune Cookies and that helps you get
through the day, I'm all in favor of it. However, just make sure you say to
yourself,
I know its bullshit, but just in case...