How To Get What You Want?

Ask For It!

How do you get what you want? Here are a few answers:

•  Ask for it
• Take action to get it (in my next blog)
• The reverse (in my next blog)

Ask For It

If it sounds so simple then why isn't it happening.  How many of you ask your spouse for sex - very very few.  How many of you ask your boss for a raise - not many.  How many of you ask your friends for help - very few.  How many of you tell your family what you truly think about their attitude and actions toward you - almost none.

None of us like being told NO.  However, too many of us are so insecure about getting a NO, we don't ask.  What if you ask your spouse for sex and he or she says not tonight.  How does that affect your standing as a human being - it doesn't.  You have a better chance of getting sex if you ask for it than if you wait for the other person to initiate it.  Many spouses would get excited if the other spouse asked for sex - I know I would.

Do you really believe your spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend or friend with benefits would be mad at you if you asked.  If you truly believe that, you are either with the wrong person or you're a wose.  Try it tonight - you really have nothing to lose.

Why not ask your boss for a raise?  He or she won't fire you.  She won't stop liking you.  Most likely he will respect you for asking. If you have done your homework and can present a good reason why you deserve a raise, the worse response you will get is: "not at this time."  That is not a NO.  Even if you get a NO, you will feel good about yourself for asking.

If you don't believe you deserve a raise, don't ask for one.  However, look into yourself as to why you don't think you deserve one.  If you realize that you're not that great at your job, that's being honest with yourself.  Don't feel bad your boss is not giving you a raise.  Just go about your job and look for one where you can excel and deserve a raise.

If you believe you are good at your job, but are too insecure to ask for a raise, read my blogs and get a positive energy mentor.  Do whatever you can to overcome your insecurity.  One way is to just walk into the bosses office, raise your head high and ask for the raise.  You might be shocked at the response.  Even if it doesn't go as you would like, you will feel better about yourself for asking.

Asking friends for help is a way to separate the true friends from the acquaintances.  Never ask friends for money.  Money screws up relationships.  However, asking friends for moral support when you are going through a tough time, is something you should consider.  If you get a NO or "don't have time right now," then reevaluate this friendship.  Don't refrain from asking for help because you don't want to lose a friend.  If you get a NO, this is not the friend you thought you had and it's time to move on.  You deserve true friends.  Hanging on to the bad ones will not make you happy and won't enable you to get what you want.

Family is a difficult situation.  My feelings are that family are just people you are related to - not people that are allowed to make you unhappy because of that relationship.  You need to ask them to stop treating you or other people in your life poorly.  They are not so special, that you have to put up with their crap.  You wouldn't let your friends treat you like that - or would you?  If you do, you don't think much about yourself. 

Losing a family member who doesn't love you just the way you are, is not like losing a limb.  If they don't want to exist in your positive energy - happy world, get rid of them.  However, before you let them go, ask them to be a better person toward you and others.  What's the worst that can happen - other family members will be mad at you.  If so, let them live with the idiot, but tell them you deserve better.

I'll cover the two other ways to get what you want in my next blog.