Domestic Abuse

Domestic Abuse

The United States has finally realized there is a domestic abuse crisis. The United States has finally accepted that domestic abuse can no longer be tolerated. The people doing domestic abuse are finally being called out and punished. What the hell took so long!

Growing up, beating the shit out of children was an in-family personal issue and not anybody else's business. I was one of the lucky ones because my mother was a huger not a hitter. My father trusted me and my actions. He even laughed when I took the rubber tip off of my toy arrow and hit the wall behind the sofa (I was trying to hit a target on the sofa, but I missed). He thought that was funny and ignored the holes in the wall. Bottom line, my father was a mild mannered parent who never yelled or hit me.

Growing up, people would talk about women who everybody knew were getting beat-up by their husband or boyfriend. However, nobody took action because it was believed it was none of their business. At that time policemen were just that - MEN. They didn't give a shit and considered domestic abuse was a man's right. They assumed the woman deserved what she got.

In the last fifteen years we have seen progress regarding racism in America, but we are far, far from eliminating this issue - can you spell Ferguson and The University of Oklahoma. It's only been in the last few years that domestic abuse has become front page news. It's only been in the last few years that the police and the courts have taken action on abusers. 

However, it's only been in the last couple years that organizations have punished people in their organization who are accused of domestic abuse. No longer are organizations waiting for the abusers to be proven guilty. Today, organizations are firing or putting people in limbo without pay for just being accused of domestic abuse.

Some might say that we've gone too far. Why should we take action on an individual before proven guilty? To those people I say - bullshit. Let me acknowledge there are and will be a small few who will accuse someone of domestic abuse when actually nothing was done to them. This might be to get back at the person or for other reasons, but I believe those people will be exposed in time.

What I know is that waiting for the courts to decide guilty or not guilty is wrong. Proving domestic abuse is very difficult. The victim who was abused gets even more abused by defense lawyers. The victim gets more abuse by being exposed by the media. If the victim is a woman, she is up against a male dominated society that still believes she must have done something wrong and probably deserved the abuse.

We are making progress, but we have a long, long way to go. Domestic abuse is a horrible problem in our society and many other societies around the world. The odds are stacked in favor of the abuser. For that reason, too many abused children, men and women don't come forward. The horrible feeling of being violated and not being able to get justice, leads to sever depression.

We do have women's groups committed to helping abused women. We have made much more progress regarding child abuse. We've made progress by the media exposing domestic abuse. We've made progress with organization saying this is not acceptable. But, until every American has in their heart that racism and domestic abuse must never be tolerated, we will still be dealing with this for many, many years to come.

I know what's in my heart. What's really in YOUR heart?