The Scotts Got It Right

The Scotts Got It Right

It's hot all over - "how hot is it?' "It's so hot my boys are sweating to death." This leads me to the question; "why do men wear pants?" The romans wore togas that were open at the bottom so their boys could breathe. Even in cold weather places like Scotland, the Scotts wore and wear kilts. Why kilts - because hot or cold the boys want to be free.

On the other hand women, who don't have to deal with a bat and balls, wear dresses. Where did we men go wrong? Somewhere along the line of evolution a man wearing a dress was deemed to be homosexual. Now, not that there's anything wrong with that, but even gay guys don't want to wear dresses. That type of outfit is reserved for Transgender people.

Men are so insecure about their gender that they are willing to suffer their prize positions wrapped up in tight jockey shorts and tight pants just so they look good and aren't perceived gay. Women, on the other hand, not only get to wear a dress on a very hot day, they leave themselves even more room for air by wearing thongs.

I say: I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore. I'm a man (or even a gay man). I know what I am and my clothes don't define me. Sooo, on the next very hot day, I'm going to try to get into one of my wife's thongs and wear a moo-moo dress.

My boys are tired of sweating while women are airing. What's the worst that can happen? Well, first I have to learn to cross my legs every time I sit down. Sounds easy, but when you haven't done it your entire life, you're probably going to unconsciously flash the good stuff every once in a while.

Then I have to be careful how I adjust myself. In pants it's easy. Just take your thumb and slightly push the boys to the left. In a dress, that movement will look very strange. Grabbing the whole package makes more sense.

Probably the worst that can happen is my wife won't go out with me, I'll have to sit down when I pee, I might not be allowed to enter the men's room and I could do significant damage to the things I'm trying so hard to protect when riding on the spin bicycle at the gym.

Sooo, even though the Scotts have it right, I guess I'm going to have to adhere to the norm and sweat it out until winter.

However, since I believe in a positive future, some male macho movie/recording star will start wearing a dress and start a trend. I just hope it happens in my lifetime.