Negotiating With Yourself

Negotiating With Yourself

We all know about negotiating with others. For two years I was in charge of finding companies to buy. Being a good negotiator was critical for me to do my job. Some people were easy to negotiate with and some were hard. 

The ones that were easy were the ones who believed with my philosophy - the best outcome was when it was a win - win for both parties. The hard ones were the ones who believed they had to win. I was even told by a negotiator: "Ken, I have to convince my boss that I got the better of you or he'll get another negotiator." BTW, the Japanese, Chinese and the Israelis were the hardest for me to negotiate. 

What we don't understand is that in many situations we are negotiating with ourselves. "Should I have another drink or not?" "Do I really want to break off this relationship?" "I'm trying to lose weight, but that fried chicken looks really good."

It's like there is a Devil on one shoulder and an Angel on the other. They rarely agree. Without a doubt, the Devil wants that drink, wants to end the relationship and for sure wants to eat that fried chicken. The Angel wants me to at least think before I act. 

The bottom line is it's my decision. Most of us are saying to ourselves: "what do I do - what do I do?" For some of us the Devil is much stronger than the Angel. A good negotiator knows when it time to walk away. They know when they have given as much as they are ever going to give. Now it's up to the other party.

The problem is we are both parties. We have to compromise with our self. Here is a compromise. If I'm the driver I don't give a shit what the Devil says, I'm not having another drink. If I'm not the driver than will that next drink make me feel bad the next day? If yes, the answer is no drink - if no, the answer is why not.

Here is another compromise. "I'm too fat so screw the Devil, I'm not eating that fried chicken." "I could lose a few pounds, but that fried chicken looks fantastic - I'll be good tomorrow."

My suggestion to you all is to step back from the Devil and the Angel and think about the negotiation between yourself. You know what's the right thing to do so:

Just Do The Right Thing For Yourself.