Fear

Fear

Animals have a build-in fear mechanism to protect them from predators and other dangers. Evolution passed that fear response into the brain to humans. We all (except for specific mentally ill people) have it and need it to survive. It's the thing that gets us to look over our shoulder when walking down a dark ally. It's the thing that gets us to go into protect mode when being approached by a wild animal. It's the thing that gets us to run like hell when someone is coming toward us with a gun.


As humans evolved, we've become much more sophisticated in the way fear affects our lives. Some for the good and some not so good. Good fear stops us from going to jail before we commit a crime. Bad fear stops us from getting the most out of life. 


Growing up in a fearful environment can create a much more sensitive fear response in our brain. It doesn't have to be growing up in a neighbor full of gangs. It could be as simple as growing up with parents that fear everything all the time. That's my parents.


It's understandable how they got that way growing up in the Great Depression with no money a dead father and sickly mother. Every day was a struggle and they risk winding up on the street. They passed much of their fears on to me.


Fortunately, over the years, I've overcome most of those bad fears. However, a lot of people have not. I still have many of my good fears, but not the ones that are at the extreme. Many of us have a strong fear of dying. That fear is good as long as it's not in the extreme.


Not being able to get on an airplane because of a fear that the plane will crash and you will die, will take away a vast amount of places you can explore or jobs you can take in your life. Statically, you have a much greater chance of dying in a car than an airplane. Therefore, the fear of flying is something deep inside you that could be worked out by talking to someone.


On the other hand, I fear riding on a motorcycle. In my opinion, that's a good fear because the injury and death rate of riding a motorcycle is much higher than riding on something with four wheels. Also, if I never ride on a motorcycle it will not have any impact on me getting to places I want to visit. Yes, I won't get the thrill of the wind blowing through my hair, but if that became critical to me, I could get a convertible car.


financial fear is the most insidious. Nobody wants to be poor. Having a normal fear of not having money is a good fear. Having no fear of going broke is not good. At the same time, having an extreme fear of being poor is also not good. Saving money so you can have a happy retirement is good. Saving money so you can buy an air conditioner for your house or apartment is good.


However, saving money to the extreme because of your fear of not having it, is bad. Money is there to enjoy and used to make decisions. Not enjoying your money is bad. Never making decisions because of money is bad. How much is enough? What is needed is a balance. You need to have enough money to be safe and happy, but not so much money that you stop living life.


Fear and risk taking are partners. The more fear the less risks, the less fear the more risks. If I had to vote for one, I would vote for less fear and taking more risks. A saying in my last book says: "life without risk is half a life." Sooo, again you have to stay in balance. To get the most out of life you have to take some risks. However, taking risks that have the potential to ruin your life and your happiness is not a good thing to do.


The bottom line of all this is to greatly understand the fear inside you. Don't try to get rid of the good fear and don't ignore the bad fear. Fear plays a role in creating a happy life for yourself. The hardest part is accepting the good fear and managing the bad fear. You may need a little help getting this balance right; however, it's on you to accomplish this balance because without it you'll have trouble creating a happy life.

Don't ever forget YOU DESERVE TO HAVE A HAPPY LIFE! Use the fear inside you to make that happen.