The Answer's In The Question

The Answer's In The Question

"I'm not sure you can afford this car?" It's called "the reverse." By asking that question the salesperson is attacking the buyer's pride. She knows that by asking the question, the buyer is going to demand that he has the money or credit to buy the car. There are many examples of the reverse. The years I spent in sales I became a master of the reverse. I even use it in my personal life. When I don't want to drive I ask: "Are you sure you can get me there?" The "reverse."

Many times in your life you have been asked a question that you realize is the answer to the question. "Do you believe this relationship is going to work?" The person who is asking that question knows the relationship is over, she just doesn't want to say: "John, this relationship is kaput!!"

"Do you think we should get married?" The person asking that question is really saying: "hay, get off your ass and marry me stupid!!"  The top performer at a company asks his boss: "I guess my performance doesn't justify a raise?" He knows he is the top performer. He knows he makes his boss look good to management. He knows his boss does not want to lose him. He knows his question is the answer to: "Give me a raise asshole or I'll quit!!"

It takes practice to be able to structure a question so that the person you're asking knows what answer you want. Many times we ask a question, knowing the answer, because we don't want to say the answer directly. "Are we ever going to have sex again?" The person asking this question is trying to avoid saying: "Can we have sex tonight?" By doing so, the person asking the question is putting the issue on the person she is asking. It's called "the defense."



Are you a victim of these types of questions or are you the creator of these types of questions? A top salesperson using "the reverse” is an acceptable sales technique. If used properly, it well get great results. However, in general everyday life, it's much simpler to just ask for what you want. Doing that, takes guts. Doing that, means you are confident in yourself. Doing that, means you are willing to deal with a response you don't like. Doing that, will get you the answer much quicker.

Doing that will make you proud of yourself. Proud people are happier people. Happiness is your goal. Happiness is the forgotten ingredient in life.