Patience - I Have None

Patience - I Have None

I've always liked the joke of two vultures watching a guy struggling in the desert taking his last sit of water from his canteen. He eventually falls down exhausted. The vultures start circling the man waiting for him to die. After thirty minutes the vultures go back to their post and one says to the other: "patience hell I'm going down there and kill the son of a bitch."

When I came out to LA from Philly I noticed California's would wait on line while the check-out person was having a conversation with the customer in front. "did I ever show you the pictures of my Grandchildren?" Being five customers back I was thinking: "did I ever show you the knuckles on my fist?" Patience - I have none.

Do California drivers buy cars that don't have horns? I ask because they never use them. I'm waiting in traffic when the light changes to green and the person in the car in front of me is on his phone and not paying attention to the traffic that has moved in front of him. I try my best to be a good Californian, but after a few pregnant pauses, I blast my horn to wake the son of a bitch up. The funny thing is the other Californian in their cars look at me like I did something wrong. Patience - I have none.

I have a reservation at a Chinese restaurant. My wife and our two other friends arrive exactly on time. I ask the Chinese host how long a wait. He says: "five minutes." fifteen minutes later I go up to the host again and ask the same question. He says: "five minutes." Ten minutes later I go up to the host and say: "we drove a long time to get here on time. We've been waiting almost thirty minutes and you keep telling me five minutes. There are many open tables. WE are going to sit down at one of them NOW, no discussion. Patience - I have none.

Some say patience is a virtue. I say bullshit. I realize impatience has a few draw backs. Impatient people are more stressed, more frustrated, you make more wrong decisions and are not as happy. However, being too patient will also make you too stressed, frustrated, you make more wrong decision and become unhappy.

Sooo, where is the balance? For me, there is none. Honking my horn at an idiot is stress relieving. Yelling at a check-out counter person to move faster than a dead turtle relieves my frustration and when the line starts to move faster I get a smile on my face (even though the other people on line think I'm a jerk). To those people I say:

Patience Hell - I have none.