When Was The Last Time You Pulled Down Your Pants

When I was little my mother would towel dry me after a bath and then play a game with me trying to get my clothes on. I would run naked around the house while my mother was chasing me all over. I was hysterical laughing, my mother was laughing so hard she could hardly catch her breath and even my sister thought it was funny. We always played this game after my weekly bath. It was great fun and being nude mad it that much more fun.

At fifteen I was hitchhiking from Philadelphia to Atlantic City. Three young guys in a beat up old Chevy picked me up. They were drinking beer and laughing about the most stupid stuff anyone could image. On the road an old couple came up behind our Chevy. Two of the guys started making faces and giving the old couple the figure. The driver slowed the car down so the old couple was almost on top of us. It was a single lane road so the couple was trapped.

Being young and stupid and wanting to show off for my new friends, I pulled down my pants and underpants and pressed my ass up against the car's back window. Back then we called this action "Pressed Ham." The old couple couldn't control their laughter and almost ran off the road.

I was exhilarated and the guys in the car were laughing so hard one spilled his beer. It took me 10 minutes to come down from the natural high I got from Pressing The Ham.  When the road changed to a two lane highway, the old couple drove past us laughing as the old man gave us the figure and the old woman pushed her breasts out the window (she had her bra on).  I guess we all got a special moment of fun that is instilled into our memory.

At twenty two my first wife and I were at a Halloween party. It was in the basement of someone's house. I knew about 60% of the people at the party. My wife was dressed as little orphan Annie. I was dressed as Mighty Mouse.

The party was fine. Not very exciting, but had great food. For reasons to this day I don't know why, I decided to shock the crowd.  My wife was sitting at the top of the stair case that led down to the basement. From the top of the stairs I jumped the six steps into the center of the basement. When I got there I yelled the Mighty Mouse slogan; "Here I Come To Save The Day."

Everyone laughed, but then I ripped off all my cloths and danced around the center of the room which felt like an hour, but was only 60 seconds. The crowd was astonished and my shocked wife slipped down four steps as I ran to the small bathroom at the end of the basement. While in the bathroom I was hyperventilating, laughing, exhilarated and high as a kite.

It took me five minutes to calm down enough so I could put on my Mighty Mouse costume. I left the bathroom to the fantastic applause from everyone in the room except my wife. Now you know why that marriage didn't work out.

Three years ago I was at a party with a bunch of friends. Their parties were always the best. Great food and lots of wine, champagne and booze. We would all sing the oldies trying our best to harmonize. We stunk and that made it that much more fun.

I was three sheets to the wind when (for no reason I can comprehend) I pulled down my pants and shorts and mooned everyone in the room. All I remember was laughter and flashes from everyone's cell phones. At 65 it wasn't a pretty site, but it did get everyone laughing with a picture in their head they will never forget. My wife Ellen wasn't shocked because she knew me all too well. That is why we will be together forever.

I've always said when asked how I value my life: "I value my life by the number of times I laugh."

Sooo, pull down your pants, Press The Ham, do something nobody expects you to do and laugh your ass off. Trust me it is exhilarating. It is the best high you can get without taking any drugs. I will be something you and everybody who sees the event will remember for the rest of their lives.

Most times you get a little more out of life by doing something wild and crazy. Jumping out of a plane is exhilarating. Bungee jumping 300 feet is exhilarating. Driving a formula one sports car 200 Miles per hour is exhilarating. The problem with these events is they can get you killed and they are more personal than group related.

Sooo, pull down your pants. It's safer. It's crowd pleasing. It's memorable and it's a great way to enhance your happiness