Are You Identified By What You Own

Are You Identified By What You Own

A man drives up to a bar in a six series BMW. He is dressed immaculately sporting an expensive watch. What is your first impression?

• He has money
• He cares the way he looks
• He cares the way others perceive him
• He is successful
• He has a big ego
• He likes to show off

You talk to him at the bar and find out he is a good guy who cares about others. He doesn't have a big ego, but he does care how he looks to others. He is funny and interesting to be around.

You talk to the same guy at the bar and he is a big bore. He brags about his wealth. He shows off so everybody will be envious of him.

First impressions count. He has identified himself by what he owns. If others like to be around successful people they will want to talk to him. If others think he is an ego driven asshole, they will ignore him. You won't know until you spend time with him.


A guy drives up to a bar in a big ass expensive black SUV. He is dressed so everyone will notice him. He is loaded with bling.  What is your first impression?

• He's a show off
• He is a rapper
• He is a drug dealer
• He is not easy to approach
• He is not very smart
• He is probably interesting

You talk to him and he turns out to be the life of the party. He is a software designer and programmer who likes to look cool. He is very friendly and is a good husband and parent.

You try to talk to the same guy, but he surrounds himself with his posse. He is a want-a-be rapper who spends all his money on looking cool to others.

In the former he is not identified by what he owns. In the latter he is absolutely identified by what he owns. You won't know until you spend time with him (if he'll talk to you).


A woman drives up to a bar in a new Bentley. She is beautiful and dressed in expensive clothes and shoes. She is wearing a diamond bracelet that must cost a fortune. What is your first impression?

• She is a trophy wife
• She has a few sugar daddies that take good care of her.
• She must be good in bed
• She got her wealth from her parents
• She is famous even though you never saw her before

You talk to her at the bar and she turns out to be an entrepreneur who runs a very successful business. She is easy to talk to and never brags about her wealth. She just likes expensive things, but not to show off. She is someone you like to take home to mother.

You talk to the same lady at the bar and she makes you feel you're two stations below her. She has a very rich husband who she tolerates as long as he buys her expensive stuff. She is not someone I would take home to my mother. However, you just won't know until you spend time with her.


Now let's look at me. I drive up to a bar in my 2012 Honda CRV. I'm dressed casual, but nicely coordinated. I'm wearing a nice watch which I got on sale for less than $125. I drink blended scotch and will eat happy hour food if it's good. If I want something special to eat, I'll order it even if it's expensive. What is your first impression?

• I'm an everyday person - no thrills or chills
• I watch what I spend, but I'm not cheap
• I'm not someone who wants to make a statement by the way I dress or the car I drive
• I should be easy to talk to
• It's hard to tell if I'm smart or stupid

You talk to me at the bar and find out I'm a writer, Personal Mentor and love to have fun. Also, I'm almost exactly what your first impression thought I would be. However, you won't know until you spend time with me.


I think this would be an interesting exercise for every one of you to do with yourself, your friends, your family and the people you meet on an everyday basis. People watching and people evaluating is really a lot of fun.


You are identified by the outside world by what you own. Therefore, think about how you want to be identified. Better yet, if you want to be happy, don't give a shit what the outside world thinks.

Drive the car you like, dress the way you like and most of all be who you really are, not what the outside world thinks you should be.