A Cure For Snoring

A Cure For Snoring

I snore. My wife snores. Even my dog snores. My snoring keeps my wife up at night.  My dog snoring doesn't bother us - we think it's cute. 

Most people don't like talking about snoring. We believe it's too personal. Men have to be the culprit because.... they are MEN. Women never believe they snore because well..... they are women. Well, I'm calling bullshit because almost everybody snores.

Sooo, it's not really about who's snoring, it's about who is keeping who up all night. Therefore, I went to my Doctor to see if he had a solution to my snoring problem. He asked me if I was sleeping OK. I said I sleep great. He then told me I don't have a problem - my wife has the problem. WOW - sounds like fantastic logic to me.

The Doctor went on to say that even his nine year old snores. He told me there is a lot of stuff out there that costs a lot of money, but none of them work well or at all. He also said the medical community doesn't see snoring as a medical problem and therefore none of them give a shit.

I believe the reason they don't give a shit is because they're all sleeping just fine - it's their spouse that's having a problem. Sooo, what can you do about it? I propose these three things:

* Fall asleep before they do. Once you're in deep sleep snoring your head off, you won't give a crap if the other person in bed with you is snoring.

* Punch, slap and/or strangle the person who is keeping you up until they stop snoring or become wide awake. That gives you time to fall asleep before them.

* Have sex in one room and sleep in separate rooms. I like the first part, but I really want to sleep next to my wife.

Well, that's all the advice I can give you - Unless you:

Dump The Snoring Son Of A Bitch And Hope The Next One Doesn't Snore