Insecurity

Insecurity

Definition of insecure

1. 1:  not confident or sure :  uncertain <feeling somewhat insecure of his reception>
2. 2:  not adequately guarded or sustained :  unsafe <an insecure investment>
3. 3:  not firmly fastened or fixed :  shaky <the hinge is loose and insecure>
4. 4a :  not highly stable or well-adjusted <an insecure marriage>b :  deficient in assurance :  beset by fear and anxiety <always felt insecure in a group of strangers>

As you can see there are many forms of insecurity. Most of us have it to some degree. The ones who don't have any insecurity are not playing with a full deck. Where does this insecurity come from?

Ninety five percent of insecurity comes from previous acts. Growing up in an insecure family environment is probably the biggest reason. Having a traumatic event happen in your life. Failing at something you thought would definitely work out. The loss of someone who you put a lot of trust in and was your Mentor. Financial ruin. Divorce. Depression. 

In my opinion, the most insidious form of insecurity is worrying about things that have yet to happen.

Can anything be done about insecurity? Some of the worse statements a person can make are: "I have to stop worrying about things," "I have to get a grip on this situation," "I'm just going to convince myself to never be insecure again," "next year I'm going to fix this."

The reason these are bad statements is because they are all bullshit. The sooner you accept you are fearful and insecure, the best chance you have to change that pattern. You can't wipe out years of upbringing with words. You can't change major events in your life that made you worry about the future with words.

Sooo, for those of us who feel insecure and worry too much, we have these choices. Drugs (this is my very last choice and I only recommend it as a last resort). Find a good Mentor. Talking to someone who you trust and has your best interest in their heart can go a long way to helping you change your life stealing habits.

Do something positive every day. Positive actions begets more positive actions. The more positive actions in your life the more confident you become. The more confident you become the less insecure you become.

Worry. That's right, keep worrying. You can't stop it so why fight it. "The more you resist the more he (worry) will insist." Accept worrying into your life. 

The only way I have found to minimize my worrying is to take a step back and intellectually think about what I'm worrying about. Is it something that has already happen? If so, let your body worry. If it's something you're worrying about that might happen in the future, remind your intellectually self that nobody knows shit about what's going to happen in the future. 

What will worrying about future events do for you?

Absolutely Nothing