Finding The Real You

At the end of my lectures on "Taking Charge Of Your Career And Your Life" I give the participants the questionnaire below.  This questionnaire serves two purposes.  One, it enables you to test where you stand in finding the real you.  Second, it reminds you of the elements that will lead you to happiness.

If you really care about finding the real you and learning how to enhance your happiness, take the time to complete the questionnaire.  The test at the end will let you know where you stand.

Finding the Real You

Knowing what you want

Objective – To prepare yourself so that you are capable of making an effective career decision by:

• Clearing away all of your negative baggage
• Gaining an understanding of who you are and how you feel about things
• Gaining an understanding of how your decisions are affected by:
• Not knowing what you want
• Your fear of failure
• Your additions to security, money, power and ego
• Pressures and expectations created by the outside world (your spouse, your friends, your boss, your commitments, etc.)

All of this should lead you to selecting alternative career choice or personal life choices based entirely upon your happiness.

2.  Answer the following statements or questions by looking into yourself and stating how you feel NOW.  Do not answer these statements or questions based upon what you want the answer to be or what your answer might be in the future.  In addition, do not answer these questions or statements based upon what the outside world (spouse, parents, friends, etc.) thinks your answer should be.  The right answers are how you feel about these questions or statements right NOW.

Answers:  The following are four possible answers to the questions or statements below.  Write the number that is most appropriate on the line provided.

1. I do not agree
2. I sometimes agree
3. I usually agree
4. I strongly agree

            1A.  I am in tune with who I am and what I want ________

                        Do you know what tasks you are good at performing?  Do you know which tasks make you happy?  Are you realistic about your intellectual, emotional, and physical limitations in performing the job/task you would love?

            2A.  I am enjoying life today _______

                        Or are you waiting for your life to get better in the future?

Answers:  The following are four possible answers to the questions or statements below.  Write the number that is most appropriate on the line provided.

1.     I do not agree

2.     I sometimes agree

3.     I usually agree

4.     I strongly agree

3A.  How do you feel about this statement ______

                  “When you don’t realize how short life is you don’t enjoy the path, you only think about the destination.”

      4A.  How do you feel about this statement ______

                  “Can you accept that life is a journey and like a safari there will be some problems and there will be some risks, but, you probably won’t get killed and you definitely will have fun.”

      5A.  I can visualize where I am going in my career and/or my life ______

                  Can you close your eyes and see yourself becoming the person you want to become?  Are your dreams of the perfect career and/or life realistic?

      6A.  I see myself successful ______

      7A.  I see myself happy _______

      8A.  I would change my career path if I knew that my current career direction will not lead to my happiness _______

      9A.  My personal life is not affecting my business life ______

      10A.  My school life is not affecting my personal life ______

      11A.  I’m sure I am not happy with my current situation ______

                  Or are you only looking at the negatives?

      12A.  I think in terms of what I do like not just what I don’t like ______

      13A.  I am using both sides of my brain ______

                  Everyone has a creative right side and a logical left side of their brain.  In your job/task or life are you using both of these hemispheres?  Do you see the importance in doing so?  Do you believe that you will never know all there is to know about yourself if you do not explore both your creative, visual and verbal capabilities (right side) along with your logical, mathematical and organizational capabilities (left side)?

Answers:  The following are four possible answers to the questions or statements below.  Write the number that is most appropriate on the line provided.

1. I do not agree
2. I sometimes agree
3. I usually agree
4. I strongly agree

      14A.  I have or I can create credibility through experience and

                      accomplishments ______

                  You can’t get what you want if you don’t have experience.  You can’t get what you want if you have not accomplished anything.  Are you willing to do all things necessary to gain the experience you need?  Are you willing to be patient and accept that you might not get promoted and/or have the life experience you want until you have the necessary experience?  Do you realize that experience without accomplishment will hold you back?  Do you realize how good you will feel when you accomplish something … no matter how small?

            15A.  I have presence ______

                        I have knowledge, strategic thinking, confidence, communication skills, good personal presentation and excellent leadership traits.  With all of these building blocks I can create a presence.
 

            16A.  I have resolve, commitment and focus ______

                        You have experience, accomplishment, resolve, commitment and focus.  Resolve means you are committed to your beliefs and are willing to take action on them. If you want the world to listen to you, deliver your experience and accomplishments with resolve and commitment.  Doing so will give you a presence.

            17A.  I am focused!  I can prioritize! ______

                        Focusing stops your thoughts from wondering.  It helps in decision making.  It helps you take action. Without focus, your career and/or your life will blur with you day to day actions.  You will find yourself handcuffed and unable to reach your daily and long term goals.

            18A.  How do you feel about this statement ______

                        “There is only one number one priority, one number two priority, One number three priority, etc.  If you try to make everything top priority you will fail.  Do you let others (wife, boss, etc.) convince or push you into accepting that more than one of your tasks are the number one priority, your output will not be acceptable.  This will make you and the people who are insisting everything get done at once unhappy.”

Answers:  The following are four possible answers to the questions or statements below.  Write the number that is most appropriate on the line provided.

1. I do not agree
2. I sometimes agree
3. I usually agree
4. I strongly agree

19A.  I can love myself even if nobody acknowledges my capabilities ______

                        Can you love yourself even if you don’t have the presence to make yourself look good to others (boss, wife, friends, etc.)?  Can you love yourself even if you are passed over for a promotion that was given to someone less capable than you?

            20A.  I have a mentor to help me with my career and/or my life ______

                        Do you have someone to talk to about your career and/or life?  Is that person a clear thinker?  Does that person have the experience to guide you? Is that person in a position to help you get what you want and deserve?

21A.  I am taking actions that will enable me to become the person I want to become ______

            22A.  I figure out how I can not why I can not ______

            23A.  I am willing to retrain myself ______

                        I am willing to go back to school and get training in a field that will make me happy.  I am willing to take a part time job in addition to my current one if it will lead to a career choice that will make me happy.

            24A.  I take the time to appreciate life ______

                        Do you understand what it means to “smell the roses?”  Can you accept that life is a bitch, but, everyday something happens that you can appreciate?  Are you looking at what is good about you career choice and/or your life or are you only looking at “what is wrong with this picture?”  If the only good thing that happened to you today was lunch, can you go home and tell your spouse about the great ham sandwich you had for lunch?  Can you appreciate the security you have created for yourself or do you believe it is holding you back?

            25A.  I am involved in what is happening to the world around me ______

                        Are you waiting or hoping that someone else will fix the problems?

            26A.  I am involved in what is happening to my school ______

                        Are you waiting or hoping that someone else will fix the problems?

Answers:  The following are four possible answers to the questions or statements below.  Write the number that is most appropriate on the line provided.

1. I do not agree
2. I sometimes agree
3. I usually agree
4. I strongly agree

27A.  I am involved in what is happening to my family or friends ______

                        Are you waiting or hoping that someone else will fix the problems?

            28A.  I involve myself in those things that make me happy ______

                        Do you subject yourself to things that make you unhappy?

Dealing with your fear of failure

Answer the following statements or questions by looking into yourself and stating how you feel NOW.  Do not answer these statements or questions based upon what you want the answer to be or what your answer might be in the future.  In addition, do not answer these questions or statements based upon what the outside world (spouse, parents, friends, etc.) thinks your answer should be.  The right answers are how you feel about these questions or statements right NOW.

Answers:  The following are four possible answers to the questions or statements below.  Write the number that is most appropriate on the line provided.

1. I do not agree
2. I sometimes agree
3. I usually agree
4. I strongly agree

1B.  I am able to take risks ______

                        Can you accept that “life without problems means you don’t take many risks, but, life without taking risks is half a life?”  Can you accept that you will survive any risk you take?  Can you make risk taking fun?  Do you realize that taking risks is part of your growth?

            2B.  How do you feel about this statement ______

                        “Taking risks will not guarantee my happiness, but, I will have to take some risks to get what I want and all I deserve.”

            3B.  I believe I must take a risk on my own performance to convince others to do the same ______

            4B.  I am good at making decisions ______

            5B.  I want to be the one to decide ______

                        Would you rather someone else make the decision?

            6B.  How do you feel about this statement ______

                        “Saying I’m so confused when being asked for a decision is just another way of saying I don’t want to make a decision because I’m afraid I might make a wrong decision.”

Answers:  The following are four possible answers to the questions or statements below.  Write the number that is most appropriate on the line provided.

1. I do not agree
2. I sometimes agree
3. I usually agree
4. I strongly agree

7B.  How do you feel about this statement ______

                        “In business and in life you will be successful if you make more right decisions that wrong decisions.  However, not making any decision will usually turn out to be a wrong decision.”

            8B.  For one month, can you refrain from saying “I shouda done that” or “I coulda done that ______

            9B.  I believe I will survive any decision I may make ______

            10B.  I believe that realistically my worst fears will probably not occur if I take this risk or make this decision ______

            11B.  I believe I will always have enough food to eat, air to breath and shelter even if the risk I take or the decision I make turns out to be wrong ______

            12B.  I believe that the people who love me will love me even if the risk I take or the decision I make turns out to be wrong ______

Am I addicted to security, money, power and ego

Answer the following statements or questions by looking into yourself and stating how you feel NOW.  Do not answer these statements or questions based upon what you want the answer to be or what your answer might be in the future.  In addition, do not answer these questions or statements based upon what the outside world (spouse, parents, friends, etc.) thinks your answer should be.  The right answers are how you feel about these questions or statements right NOW.

Answers:  The following are four possible answers to the questions or statements below.  Write the number that is most appropriate on the line provided.

1. I do not agree
2. I sometimes agree
3. I usually agree
4. I strongly agree

            1C.  I am not addicted to security ______

                        Do you refrain from making career and life choices based upon security?  Will you avoid trading your happiness for security?  Are you sure you are not staying in your current job or life situation because it is more secure to do so?  Are you really willing to give up all this security to create a happier career and life for yourself?

2C.  I am involved in my current career choice or life situation for some other reason than security ______

If you usually or strongly agree (answer 3 or 4 above) than what is the reason:

            3C.  I am not addicted to money ______

                        Do you avoid making career and life choices based upon money?  Will you avoid trading your happiness for money?  Would you really turn down a job you didn’t think would make you happy if it offered you significantly more money?

Answers:  The following are four possible answers to the questions or statements below.  Write the number that is most appropriate on the line provided.

1. I do not agree
2. I sometimes agree
3. I usually agree
4. I strongly agree

            4C.  I am involved in my current career choice or life situation for some other reason than money ______

If you usually or strongly agree (answer 3 or 4 above) than what is the reason:

            5C.  How do you feel about this statement ______

                        “The purpose of money is to give me the freedom of choice.  I will not let money control my life because I am willing to make less expensive choices if that will make me happy.”

            6C.  How do you feel about this statement ______

                        “I will always have all the money I require if I’m happy, but, I will never have enough money if I am unhappy.”

            7C.  I am not addicted to power and ego ______

                        I do not make career and life choices based upon how it affects my ego.  I will not trade my happiness for enhancing my ego.  Would you really ask for a demotion to a lower level job if by doing so it would make you happy?

            8C.  I am involved in my current career choice or life situation for some other reason than power and ego ______

                        If you usually or strongly agree (answer 3 or 4 above) than what is the reason:

Dealing with pressures and expectations from the outside world

Answer the following statements or questions by looking into yourself and stating how you feel NOW.  Do not answer these statements or questions based upon what you want the answer to be or what your answer might be in the future.  In addition, do not answer these questions or statements based upon what the outside world (spouse, parents, friends, etc.) thinks your answer should be.  The right answers are how you feel about these questions or statements right NOW.

Answers:  The following are four possible answers to the questions or statements below.  Write the number that is most appropriate on the line provided.

1. I do not agree
2. I sometimes agree
3. I usually agree
4. I strongly agree

1D.  How do you feel about this statement ______

                        “The outside world (wife, boss, parents, friends, etc.) might be the cause of my problems, but, I must acknowledge ownership of the solutions.”

            2D.  I can be spontaneous in my career and/or my life ______

                        There is a difference between being spontaneous and being a flake.  Every commitment you make takes away some of your spontaneity.  You can’t be as spontaneous if you are married.  You can’t be as spontaneous if you have children.  You can’t be as spontaneous if you have a large mortgage payment.  You can’t be as spontaneous if you have a large car payment.  You can’t be as spontaneous if you have financial or emotional commitments to your parents, spouse or friends.  You can’t be as spontaneous if you have financial or emotional commitments to yourself.

3D.  I accept I have given up some spontaneity to have the other things I want in my life ______

                        Or are you resenting the people or other commitments like you wife, children, mortgage payment, etc. for making you less spontaneous?

            4D.  In the future I will avoid any new commitments that don’t make me happy.  I will also avoid any new commitments that reduce my options to make myself happy.

Answers:  The following are four possible answers to the questions or statements below.  Write the number that is most appropriate on the line provided.

1. I do not agree
2. I sometimes agree
3. I usually agree
4. I strongly agree

            5D.  I accept my current plan ______

                        Or are you over planning your future?  Is your attitude “if it feels good today I’m going to go for it?  If it stops feeling good I will do something else tomorrow?”

            6D.  I have avoided becoming another “Peter Principal” statistic ______

                        The Peter Principal is a book written by Dr. Laurence Peter many years ago.  It states that a company will continue to promote a good employee until that employee reaches his/her level of incompetence.  Are you in a job that you are not really competent to perform?  Could you say no to a promotion that might make you another “Peter Principal” statistic?

            7D.  I am willing to take one step backward to take two steps forward ______

                        Would you really take what might be considered a demotion by others if that lower level job/task would make you happier?  Would you really take what might be considered a demotion by others if that lower level job would give you new experiences that might lead to a happier job/task?

            8D.  How do you feel about the following statement ______

                        “Being confident, not acting confident will make me happy.”

            9D.  How do you feel about the following statement ______

                        “Knowing inside I am right will stop me from being defensive.”

            10D.  How do you feel about the following statement ______

                        “Asking without demanding is more satisfying and works better most of the time than winning through intimidation.”

            11D.  How do you feel about the following statement ______

                        “Receiving without demanding will make me happier.”

            12D.  How do you feel about the following statement ______

                        “Finding another way to get what I want, when the people I’m asking are not giving, will make me happier.”

            13D.  How do you feel about the following statement ______

                        “Not being addicted to getting my own way will stop me from being miserable while I do something to change the negative situation.”

Answers:  The following are four possible answers to the questions or statements below.  Write the number that is most appropriate on the line provided.

1. I do not agree
2. I sometimes agree
3. I usually agree
4. I strongly agree

            14D.  How do you feel about the following statement ______

                        “The people in my life love me just the way I am.  They will love me even if I fail.  They will love me even if I am not rich.  They will love me even if I don’t get that higher level job. They will love me even if I take a risk or make a decision that does not turn out positive.

Finding the Real You

Ratings

POINTS:  Add up your points from each section and enter                                  POINTS

        

            A.  Knowing what you want:                                                                      ________

            B.  Dealing with your fear of failure                                                            ________

  

            C.  Am I addicted to security, money, power or ego                                     ________

            D.  Dealing with pressures and expectations from the outside world               ________

            TOTAL POINTS                                                                                     ________

Ratings:  Compare your TOTAL POINTS to the following                                POINTS

• I am Taking Charge of my Career and my Life                                           217 - 248
  
  
• I have not taken charge yet, but I know what I need to do
  to get me there                                                                                         186 - 216
  
  
• I have a great deal to think about                                                               124 - 185
  
  
• It’s not my fault!  If everyone would stop treating
  me so badly I would be perfect                                                                   62 – 123