Relationships

I've been through many relationships.  Three wives, girlfriends, friends and family.  Each relationship is like fingerprints - all different.  The one thing I believe is critical is that relationships are critical to life.  Good relationships make you happy.  Bad relationships should create a learning experience so you won't make the same mistake twice.  If you take a positive attitude toward a bad relationship, you can appreciate the experience and turn a negative into a positive.


Good relationships take effort on your part.  Expecting the other person to make the relationship work just doesn't work over the long hull.  The best relationships are ones where both parties give at least half.  The best relationships are ones where both parties communicate their hopes, dreams, loves, happiness and sadness to each other.  The best relationships are ones where both parties root for the other party to succeed and find happiness.  


The best relationships are ones where both parties support and protect each other from the negative outside world.  The best relationships are ones where both parties accept the quirks of the other party and love them just the way they are.  The best relationships are ones where both parties don't expect the other party to run their life.  The best relationships are ones where both parties don't make loans to the other party.  The best relationships are ones where both parties find a way to have fun with each other.


If you are in a one way relationship, eventually you will resent it and when the slightest problem occurs, the relationship starts to fall apart.  If you are in a one way relationship and the dominate party disappoints the other, The relationship starts to fall apart.  If you are in a one way relationship you lose your identity - no identity - no happiness.  If you are in a one way relationship it's hard to be heard - no voice - no happiness.


The bottom line, one way relationships just don't work over time.  Some people take a long time to figure it out.  They don't want the relationship to end so they make themselves believe that things will change.  Some people figure it out and realize it will never change, but they stay in the relationship because they have no confidence that they will find a better one. Those people will never be happy positive energy people.


I was in such a relationship with a friend when my true friend Kenny (yes the other Kenny) said to me:  "Kenny, you have to divorce this friend."  I never thought of it as a divorce, but he was and is right.  I divorced two of my wives because the relationships stopped meeting the criteria of the "best relationships" stated above.  However, I never thought that ending a relationship with a friend or family member was a divorce.  The fact is, Kenny is right, it is a divorce and has all the heartache and headache of a divorce.


The goal of any relationship should be to try to make it work.  Good relationships are good for your soul and your happiness.  If the other party makes a mistake (even if it's a big one), don't give up on the relationship because you're angry.  Anger is negative energy and will only bring more negative energy to the relationship.  


You can be the one to forgive and forget.  Forgiving and forgetting is positive energy and will make you a happy person.  Obviously, if the other party continues to screw up, the relationship is over.  However, if you can end it without anger and frustration, you are the big winner.  Ending it with anger and frustration just so the other party should feel bad, does not serve you and your happiness.  Always remember:

HAPPINESS IS THE FORGOTTEN INGREDIENT IN LIFE.

IS WHAT I'M DOING OR ABOUT TO DO LEADING ME TO MY HAPPINESS.  IF NOT DO SOMETHING ELSE (LIKE FORGIVING AND FORGETTING)!!!