Anger

Anger is an emotion related to one's psychological interpretation of having been offended, wronged or denied and a tendency to undo that by retaliation. DeFoore. describes anger as a pressure cooker; we can only apply pressure against our anger for a certain amount of time until it explodes. Anger may have physical correlates such as increased heart rate, blood pressure, and levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline.^[2] Some view anger as part of the fight or flight brain response.  Anger can have many physical and mental consequences.

The external expression of anger can be found in facial expressions, body language, physiological responses, and at times in public acts of aggression. While most of those who experience anger explain its arousal as a result of "what has happened to them," psychologists point out that an angry person can very well be mistaken because anger causes a loss in self-monitoring capacity and objective observably.  Modern psychologists, in contrast to the earlier writers, have also pointed out the possible harmful effects of suppression of anger.  Displays of anger can be used as a manipulation strategy for social influence.

Now we know what anger is, why we have it and how we display it.  So I guess it's OK to get angry - not always.  Anger has its downside.  Being angry screws up your chi. Being angry brings you negative energy.  Being angry affects you mental and physical health.  Being angry can make others angry.  Being angry doesn't make you happy.

Sooo, why get angry?  Many of us don't have a choice.  Someone hits your car - you get angry.  Getting angry won't fix your car nor will it change the person who hit your car.  What getting angry will do is upset you, depress you, slow you down from taking action needed to get the car fixed, make the other person react defensively instead of feeling sorry for what he has done and affect you physically.

You should not try to stop getting angry when someone does something bad to you, but you need to get over it quickly.  Not for them - get over it for YOU.  Staying angry over a single situation for a long time does not serve you or your happiness.  Remember, happiness is your goal.

What should be your "I'm in control of my happiness" response when someone hits your car or does something else to piss you off?  Get angry then take ten deep breaths and focus on what you have to do to fix what made you angry in the first place.  In the car situation, after your ten deep breaths, get the persons information, take pictures, call the police and focus on how you are going to FIX YOUR CAR!  Getting angry won't fix it - you have to get it fixed. 

If you're really enlightened and only care about your happiness, consider that the other person who made you angry didn't do it on purpose.  Maybe he or she is not a bad person.  Maybe he or she feels bad about what they did.  Maybe they had something bad happen to them that day and they didn't pay attention to what they were doing.  Maybe they are unhappy people filled with negative energy and hate themselves for what they did.  

The bottom line is that hating and being angry with them will not make you happier.  Believe it or not (I believe because it has changed my life), caring about them "will" make you happier. If you really want to be a happy person, be the one who cares not the one who hates. Then GET YOU CAR FIXED!

Sooo, why do we really get angry.  The answer is that when someone or something does something bad to you it presses a button inside you.  We all have these buttons.  These are negative energy buttons.  "You should have done this" presses the "I know I should have done that and I'm angry with myself" button.  "I hate your attitude" presses your I'm not good enough button."  This button usually makes you angry with yourself and the person who pressed that button.  You get defensive and show your anger to the other person to protect yourself.  Finding out someone cheated on you presses your I'm not worthy button.  This makes you angry with yourself and makes you depressed.

The answer to why we get angry is to get rid of your buttons.  The wrong answer is to be angry with the people or events that are pressing your buttons.  This is very hard to do.  Some of my blogs can help.  Loving yourself, being confident in yourself, accepting yourself just the way you are, knowing you are a good person that does the right things and accepting the outside world will always find a way to press your buttons, but you choose not react is your mantra.

Happiness is the forgotten ingredient in life.  You can choose to not allow anger to take you down.  You can choose to limit the amount of time you stay angry.  You can choose to accept (maybe even love) the people or events that are making you angry.  You can choose to love life more than you love being angry. You can choose to get the help necessary to minimize the affect your buttons have on you.

ANGER, WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR - ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!