Security and Fear 

Security comes in different flavors.  Some of us are addicted to financial security.  Some of us are addicted to emotional security.  Some of us are addicted to physical security. Some of us are addicted to all three of those types of security.  


Some of us would say they are not addicted to any of these, however they prefer one or more of them.  So is it a matter of degree?  It depends on how security affects your life and your happiness.  It depends if your need for security is out of fear.  It depends if your need for security is because you believe you're not capable of protecting yourself.  It depends on the amount of security you feel you must have.


Needing security out of fear is the most insidious.   I can't leave my husband because I fear I won't be able to have my own life without him.  I can't leave my wife because she will take me for everything I've worked for.  I can't leave my wife because the kids might hate me.  I can't leave my husband because I'm too old to start over again.


I have to keep working because I need more money just in case I get ill.  I have money, but I need more just in case a disaster occurs - I could lose it all.  I'm not going to do the things I love because I must have that money for when I get old.


I'm getting a big dog and an expensive security system because someone might break into my house and rape or kill me.  I'm going to spend money I could use for things that make me happy, to buy a lot of insurance just in case there is an earthquake.  I'm going to spend money I could us for things that make me happy, to buy life insurance so my kids will have a lot of money when I die.


Security is practical.  It's important to have financial security, but how much?  I retired early to live a happier life.  I have enough money for my wife and I to live comfortably not extravagantly.  I didn't need to work longer to have more money that will just be left to others (including my kids) when we die.  The kids will make their own way like my wife and I have made our own way.  The stress of one more day of work was not worth me having more money in my savings account so I'll feel more secure.


It's important to have insurance for things like your car and your house, but do you really need to spend too much money on insurance for your jewelry?  What if you lose one of your rings - will your life change?  Will you be an unhappy person the rest of your life?  If the answer is yes - get help now!


What are the odds that someone will break into your house and kill you?  Do you really believe that an expensive security system will stop someone who is on drugs and crazy or a professional house burglar?   Forget the alarm system.  Just get a security sign and put it out front and in the back of the house.  That sign alone will get someone to look for another house.  Also, forget about what the burglar might take - the goal is to protect yourself not your stuff.  Therefore, get a security door in a place in your house where you can lock yourself in and in case of fire, get out of the house safely.  


What are the odds that an earthquake will destroy your house and everything in it?  Not high enough to protect everything.  It's practical to get enough earthquake insurance to replace your house, however all the other stuff can be replaced over time.  More insurance will not protect the things that have sentimental value.  In the rare case where an earthquake destroys all your stuff, life is still good and worth living.  It will be hard, but you can still have a happy life if you want to.


We all want security, but it should never stand in the way of your happiness.  Without it there is a risk, but you will survive.  Living in a bubble of security is not a great life.  Nobody can be completely safe emotionally, financially or physically.  Don't live like something bad is just around the corner.  

Live life like something good will happen even if something bad is happening right now.