Too Much Time On My Hands

Too Much Time On My Hands

As a baby we eat, shit and sleep all day. The time we're awake we lay in a crib with a thing dangling down staring at the colorful shapes moving around. We definitely have too much time on our hands.

As teenagers we go to school, think about girls or boys, play with our friends, do homework, eat, shit and sleep. We use our time well, but that's because we have time on our hands to do so.

In our twenties and thirties we're trying to get ahead at work, usually have a girlfriend or wife and kids. By the time we give almost all of our time to THEM we're too tired at the end of the day and just veg-out watching mindless TV. We mostly feel we don't have enough time on our hands.

In out fifties we now probably have a more important job with a lot of stress, most of our money is paying for our kids' education, and the relationship with our spouse is at the boring stage so we stay at work longer than we need to. Lastly, we sit and wonder how much better our life would be if we had too much time on our hands.

Then in our seventies and eighties the kids are gone, the spouse might be gone or at best we both are just going through the motions. We're eating, shitting (if we can) and sleeping. We wind up with so much time on our hands that we probably should just go back to our infant stage, buy a crib that looks like the one we had as a baby, hang a mobile, crunch ourselves into the crib and just stare at the colorful shapes.

Some call this the circle of life. I call this the circle of unhappiness. Unless you're already crunched into the crib, here are my suggestions to change your circle of life.

1. You can't do much as a new born, so just hope you're loved by the ones who brought you into this world. 

2. As a teenager, make as many friends as you can. Do something productive that gives you money you can call your own so you can buy what you want not what your parents tell you can buy. Don't just think about boys or girls, become friends with them, get to know them because they are different than you. Even catch a feel if you can. Lastly, play, play and play as much as you can because these are your last days of playing. You have the time on your hands if you use it to have fun.

3. In your twenties and even thirties DON'T have kids. They're much more taking than giving. Have as many sexual partners as possible because SEX is FUN (see my previous blog). Decide what career will make you the happiest not necessarily the one that brings you the most money. Unless you love managing people, don't take promotions that will put you in people/boss management positions. Most importantly, take the time you have on your hands and find out who you are, what you like and what makes you happy.

4. In your fifties and sixties, find every way you can to keep your stress level down (you'll live longer). If you wind up having those nasty varmints, make them pay their way through school. At least make them get a job so they can be responsible for their food, shelter, car and insurance. You'll feel bad, but they will be better adults in their future. 

Have more sex with your spouse. Have play dates with your spouse. If none of that works, get a different girlfriend or spouse (who doesn't have kids). Eat the best food you can afford, travel even if it's only a few miles from your home (you and your spouse need to break up the routine). 

5. Lastly, in your fifties and sixties use the time on your hands to plan for your seventies and eighties. That time on your hands should consider all the many creative, productive, exciting and fun things you WILL do instead of crunching into your crib and watching the little mobile figures flying above your head.

Too Much Tome On Your Hands Can Many Times Be Worse Than Having No Time On Your Hands.

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