We Must Give The People What They Want - BULLSHIT

We Must Give The People What They Want - BULLSHIT

Too many of us think that if we just give the people what they want life will be easier. That's BULLSHIT! Oh sure, their life will get easier, but your life will not. Oh sure, avoiding conflict will make your life easier for the moment, but not getting what YOU want and deserve will never make you happy.

I tried so hard to give my bosses what they wanted. It made them happy at the moment, but when they didn't get the results they expected, they called me an amateur for not voicing my opinion before they made their decision.

I did piss-off a few bosses by not giving them what they wanted because I believed in my heart their way was wrong. It's amazing to watch a pissed-off boss think he was the greatest because he did what I wanted instead of what he wanted. They love you when you're right and they hate you when you're wrong. 

However, the risk of being wrong is worth taking when you voice your opinion. Always giving them what they want just doesn't work in the long run. You'll get blamed if your wrong, but remember he didn't have to give you what YOU wanted. Because he's too weak to blame himself, you become the target. 

The problem is if you give him what he wants and he is still wrong, he will see you as weak for letting him make a bad decision. If you can't win either way then I say: "never give him what he wants if you believe what he wants is wrong."

I tried so hard to give my spouses what they wanted. I did it to avoid conflict. I did it to avoid a fight. I did it because I couldn't deal with the stress at home when I was dealing with the stress at work. Well guess what, it didn't work. Two divorces later I realized always giving them what they wanted made me angry, frustrated and unhappy with myself. I saw myself as not good enough to get what I wanted. The funny thing is that I was so pissed-off with myself, I blamed them.

Sooo, if I didn't give them what they wanted, I would be unhappy because they were pissed-off with me. If I gave them what they wanted, I would be pissed-off with myself and blame them which led to me being unhappy. This Catch-22 resulted in two divorces. 

What do I do differently now verses then, I always ask for what I want, but rarely demand it. That way I leave open both the option of them getting what they want and me getting what I want. This can only work if your spouse, friends, relatives, bosses, etc. are open to hearing what you want and being open to giving you what you want if they think it's reasonable.

Some of my bosses didn't meet those criteria. My first two wives never met those criteria. However, the people I surround myself with today meet those criteria. I never JUST give them what they want. I give them what they want when I believe what they want is right and/or is what I wanted in the first place. 

In all cases, I always ask for what I want. That's a huge requirement to becoming a happy person.