Three Prescriptions To Happiness
Prescription Number One

"Three Prescriptions To Happiness" is a fabulous book by Ken Keyes Jr.  The book changed my life and I suggest all of you read it.  The three prescriptions are very easy to read and hard to execute.  They are:

#1  "Ask for what you want, but don't demand it." 

#2  "Accept what is happening for now."

#3  "Love unconditionally even if you don't get what you want."

Below is my interpretation of Keyes's prescription number one.  My follow on blogs will cover prescriptions two and three:

#1  "Ask for what you want, but don't demand it." 

How many times does someone ask you what you want and you say: "Oh, I'm not sure, what do you want?"  For example, you're going out to dinner with friends and they ask you: "what would you like to eat tonight?"  Is your response: "I don't care, what do you guys want to eat?"

YOU DO CARE WHAT YOU WANT TO EAT!!  Not stating it is saying you don't think of yourself as someone who has an opinion.  You don't want to be controversial.  You don't want your friends to not like you because you voiced your opinion.  Why not say: "I would like Italian, but if everyone else want something else, I'll go along with it - as long as it's not Indian food."

The friends who asked you the question want you to be happy.  They might be people that don't like to make decisions.  They probably will go to whatever restaurant you want.

Let me give you a true personal situation.  I was taking my kids to a Chinese restaurant.  I was going through my first divorce and was very sensitive to making my kids happy.  It was Christmas time.  The place was full except the last booth in the back.  When we got to the booth, I asked the kids which side of the booth they wanted to sit.  They said: "Dad we don't care."  When you sat on the seat at the left, you stared directly at a blank wall.  When you sat on the seat at the right, you stared at the beautiful Christmas tree at the front of the restaurant.

Knowing this, I again asked the kids where they wanted to sit.  They again said: "we don't care."  Then it struck me - I wanted to sit on the right so I could see the beautiful tree.  I didn't want to stare at a blank wall.  I was paying for the dinner.  The kids were just interested in the food.  After I slapped myself in the head, I said to the kids: I would prefer to sit on the right so I could see the Christmas tree - is that OK with you guys."  They said: "sure dad."

Soooo, ask for what you want, but don't demand it.  You will get what you want more times than you think and you deserve it!  Ask your spouse for sex - the worse he/she will say is not tonight and you'll say: "OK."  Ask your boss for a raise - the worse he/she will say is no and you will say with a smile: "it didn't hurt to ask."  Ask your friends to go to the Italian restaurant - the worse they will say is we don't want Italian and you will say: maybe next time - OK?"

Asking is good - demanding is bad.  Demanding is stressful.  Asking is less stressful.  Demanding assumes you won't get what you want.  Asking assumes you might get what you want, but even if you don't your life will be just fine.  Demanding will lose friends and love ones.  Asking will create more friends and love ones. 

The more they like/love you the more you will get what you want - YOU DESERVE IT!