Three Prescriptions To Happiness

Prescription Number Two

#2  "Accept What is Happening for Now."

This was the hardest prescription for me.  During the difficult times in my life I found it hard to accept what was happening to me.  I was so unhappy because all I could think about was "why me God."  I was frustrated because I could not control the negative things that were happening to me.  I was pissed off at the people that were making me unhappy, scared and frustrated.

Then I read Ken Keyes"s book and started to realize that I was making myself miserable because I just could not accept what was happening to me.  I wanted to control the uncontrollable.  I wanted the people that were doing this to me to stop.  Once I accepted (which took me a long time) what was happening to me for now, I could begin to think about what I could do (control) about it. 

After my divorce, my first wife made things so hard on my youngest son that he had a breakdown.  He was living sixty miles from me and we had to place him a facility for kids so he could recover.  I was angry at my ex, frustrated what had happened, scared he would not recover and upset that he was sixty miles away from me.  All of these feelings made me very unhappy.

By accepting what had happened and that I could not turn back the clock, I started to realize there were things I could do to help my son (and me) to get over it.  First, I had to accept that his mother did not want this for him.  She was angry at me for the divorce and she took it out on anybody that still wanted to be friends with me.  My son was one of them.  She was wrong to do so, but how would it serve me and my son if I stayed angry at her.

Second, I could make sure my son was in good hands and in the best facility I could afford.  He was and they helped him get over his problem in six months.  Today, he is a lawyer, a great husband, a great dad to my two grandchildren and a true friend of mine.

Three, I could limit my social life and drive the sixty mile to see him almost every day.  He got better and our relationship became a bond.  By not accepting, I was always unhappy and could only focus on what was happening not on what I could do about it. By accepting, I could focus on doing something about it.  I was sad about what my son was going through, but happy that I was doing the best I could do to help him.

Sooo, when things are not going the way you want, accept what is happening for now and focus on the things you could do about it now and in the future.  It might take some sacrifice, but, in the long run, it will change the negative to a positive.

You have the power and control to make choices to affect your happiness.  If you need to divorce your spouse, you probably will have to give up a lot (money, security, family being angry at you, etc).  However, will keeping your money, security, etc. make you more happy than accepting that your marriage is making you very unhappy and taking the steps, although painful, to change it. 

Please, accept today and make the sacrifice to make yourself happy. YOU DESERVE IT!!