Asshole

This blog is not about your ass hole although mine is very interesting.

This blog is about a person who is offensive, pompous, rude, unkind, impolite, etc.; "jerk".

Let's start with a questionnaire developed by a PHD Bob Sutton. You will get a kick out of reading his book.

Are You A Certified Asshole?

Find Out With the Asshole Rating Self-Exam (ARSE)

A 24-Question Self-Exam by Bob Sutton PHD.

You feel surrounded by incompetent idiots – and you can’t help letting them know the truth every now and then.

True

False

 

You were a nice person until you started working with the current bunch of creeps.

True

False

You don’t trust the people around you, and they don’t trust you.

True

False

You see your co-workers as competitors.

True

False

You believe that one of the best ways to “climb the ladder” is to push other people down or out of the way.

True

False

You secretly enjoy watching other people suffer and squirm.

True

False

You are often jealous of your colleagues, and find it difficult to be genuinely pleased for them when they do well.

True

False

You have a small list of close friends and a long list of enemies, and you are equally proud of both lists.

True

False

Sometimes you just can’t contain your contempt toward the losers and jerks at your workplace.

True

False

You find it useful to glare at, insult, and even occasionally holler at some of the idiots at your workplace – otherwise, they never seem to shape-up.

True

False

You take credit for the accomplishments of your team – why not? They would be nowhere without you.

True

False

You enjoy lobbing "innocent" comments into meetings that serve no purpose other than to humiliate or cause discomfort to the person on the receiving end.

True

False

You are quick to point out others’ mistakes.

True

False

You don’t make mistakes. When something goes wrong, you always find some idiot to blame.

True

False

You constantly interrupt people because, after all, what you have to say is more important.

True

False

You are constantly “buttering-up” your boss and other powerful people, and expect the same treatment from your underlings.

True

False

Your jokes and teasing can get a bit nasty at times, but you have to admit, they are pretty funny.

True

False

You love your immediate team and they love you, but are at constant warfare with the rest of the organization. You treat everyone else like crap because, after all, if you’re not on my team, you either don’t matter or are the enemy.

True

False

You notice that people seem to avoid eye contact when they talk to you – and they often become very nervous.

True

False

You have the feeling that people are always very careful about what they say around you.

True

False

People keep responding to your e-mails with hostile reactions, which often escalate into “flame wars” with these jerks.

True

False

People seem hesitant to divulge personal information to you.

True

False

People seem to stop having fun when you show up.

True

False

People often seem to react to your arrival by announcing that they have to leave.

True

False

RESULTS:

 

0 to 5 “True”: You don’t sound like a certified asshole, unless you are fooling yourself.

 

5 to 15 “True”: You sound like a borderline certified asshole, perhaps the time has come to start changing your behavior before it gets worse.

 

15 or more True: You sound like a full-blown certified asshole to me, get help immediately. But, please, don’t come to me for help, as I would rather not meet you.

 

 

I hope everyone who reads my blogs has a score less than 10.  However, we all know of and have had experience with true Assholes. I'm not sure why they are the way they are, but many of us still hang out with them.

 

Are they truly mean? Do they just want attention? Were their parents Assholes? Are they anti-social? Do they even realize they are acting like an Asshole?

 

Do we call them out for being an Asshole? Do we accept them because their interesting and you never know what might come out of their mouth? Do we hang out with them because they make us feel like a saint? Do we tolerate them so we can remind ourselves the right way to act in this life?

 

The bottom line is true Assholes have a big problem. They are not happy people. They thrive on negative energy. They suck the positive energy from anyone who will hang out with them. They live in anger, fear and self-loathing.

 

Should we stay away from Assholes? It's a complicated answer. If you don't have your shit together, I suggest you stay away from Assholes. However, if you're over 65 in your happiness meter (see my previous blog), being around a true Asshole is a learning experience.

 

They will do anything to pull you down and you will be tested. If you can accept an Asshole and still find happiness in your live, the Asshole will make your desire to be happy stronger. If you are a happy person, you can laugh at them acting out. If you are a happy person, you will be strong enough to call them out when they cross over the line. If you are a happy person, you can be sympatric and empathic of their need to act out because they are so unhappy.

 

There are a few true Assholes who are the way they are all the time. Most people act like an Asshole every so often. Those people need you to help them realize what they are saying or doing is inappropriate.  They want to be happy, but sometimes they just can't help themselves.

 

If you are the source of positive energy, you can change an Asshole to be more sociable and therefore, more happy.

 

However, if you tried your best and they are just as big an Asshole as before, GET THE ASSHOLE OUT OF YOUR LIFE!