Insanity Is Doing The Same Thing Over And Over Again While Expecting A Different Result

Every day your spouse complains about how hard her day was. Your reaction is to counter her negativism by making it clear how difficult your day was. That gets her to pick apart your negativism so she can convince you she has it worse. You, in turn, try to find some other ammunition to prove you have it worse.

The end result is you both fight and no one comes out a winner. You both leave the dinner table unhappy. This goes on and on over weeks, months and sometimes years. It has become the normal way you communicate with each other.

Somehow you or she believes that if you keep living life like this eventually the result will be different. That's insanity. If you keep doing it this way you won't get a different result. As a matter of fact things will gradually get worse.

Why not try something new. You come home from work mentally exhausted. As it is almost every day, your spouse is complaining about what a bad day he had. Before continuing with the traditional woe is me response, do something different. Hug your spouse and acknowledge his bad day. After the hug, don't say another thing or change the subject to something positive.

Make this action the norm, not the other action that has never made things better. After a few days or weeks you will be amazed how your spouse will change. If he or she realizes that you're not going to continue this negative energy communication, he or she might just stop complaining and the two of you will leave the dinner table happy.

In my first book "Never Buy A Hat If Your Feet Are Cold" I state: "the more you insist the more they will resist. Your way is not working. Doing the same thing every day is insanity because there won't be a different result. Therefore, try something new. What do you have to lose?

Believe me (because I lived it) all your spouse wants is for you to acknowledge her tough day/life. Trying to convince her it's not that bad or yours is worse will never work. Sooo, again, try something new. BTW, this hugging action works with your friends and family members.


Every day you take the same route to work. It's boring and doesn't make you happy. You keep doing it because you believe you'll eventually get over it. Again, you're insane. You'll resent it more not less.

Try something new. Get up a few minutes earlier and take a more scenic route where you can see nature's beauty. You might even want to stop at a coffee house and have a lite breakfast while meeting new people. It might be a half hour more of your time, but doing so could become the happiest time of day in you work life.


Your routine for the week is get up, eat cereal, shower, shave, put on your business suit (that you hate), get into your car and drive to work. After work, you come home eat the same thing every Monday, the same thing (different from Monday) on Tuesday, go out to meet friends on Wednesday, eat the same thing (different from Tuesday) on Thursday, Go out to meet the same friends on Friday, sleep late on Saturday and get you shopping done and either eat home and watch TV or go out to dinner with the same friends and Veg out on Sunday.

Having this routine is safe, but not interesting. You're bored and can't figure out why. However, you keep this routine week after week, month after month and year after year. Maybe, you break it up a few times a year by taking a vacation. However, after the vacation you go back to the same boring, unhappy routine. 

Why do you do this to yourself? Because it's comfortable. But, don't you realize this routine is sucking the life and the happiness out of your life. It's insane to stay on this course because the result won't be any different and won't make you happy.

Try something new. Shake things up. Do Wednesday on Tuesday. You'll probably meet new and interesting people. Change you eating habits. Sign-up with a gym. Think of Thursday as if it's Saturday. Eat somewhere you never ate before. Take smaller, but more often vacations. Come to work one day dressed comfortably with sneakers and a sport shirt. 

Make a conscious effort to make life more interesting. Agree that by doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result is not working and will not lead to a happy life.

Try doing something wild for the first time in your life. You will get a big emotional rush that will enhance you happiness. 

Remember, this might be the only life we are going to get, sooo, stop the insanity and go for the gusto. I promise you a better result.