You Can Take A Horse To Water, But You Can't Make Him Drink

In the book "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" the author states that men always try to find solutions to problems and try to fix things. If their wife has a problem, they try to fix it. That's not always what the wife wants. Most of the time all she just wants her husband to be sensitive about the problem and give her a hug.

Most men just don't understand "You Can Take A Horse To Water, But You Can't Make Him Drink." Now, I'm not calling his wife a horse, (but if she's over 350 pounds you better look into it) however, trying to get her to accept a fix she doesn't want is non-productive. If he would just love her unconditionally she will solve her problem over time.

Most parents are this way with their kids. If frustrates the hell out of them when they know what the child should be doing, show the child the right way, lead the child to the preverbal water and the child won't drink. This is especially true of teenagers.

On the other hand, if the child's friend or someone he looks up to makes the same suggestion, the child drinks the water like he's been thirsty for weeks.

One of my sayings is: "the more you insist the more they will resist." Your job as a parent is to take your son or daughter to the water and encourage him or her to drink, but not get mad, angry or frustrated if they don't. 

Trusting they will eventually figure it out on their own or trusting they will recover if they make the wrong choice is the best way to create a happy child and you as a happy parent. We all wish we had more control of our own lives. Realizing we have very limited control of our friends, family, children, etc. is frustration, but you just have to deal with it if you're going to have a happy life for yourself.

This philosophy is truer in business. Managers can be very frustrating because they just won't drink the water you're giving them. Some managers don't listen to you because they're insecure or just stubborn.  You're doing your job when you take the manager to the water.

Feel good about yourself because you're giving the manager every chance to drink. You can't let it affect you even if you get blamed if the manager doesn't drink the water and makes a bad decision. You, in your heart and mind, know you did all you could. You can look into the mirror and smile because you know the truth.  Trust me, the manager knows he screwed up and should have listened to you. He just doesn't have the confidence to take the blame.

You can trust me about this because I lived it many, many times in my career. I used to get angry and very frustrated when this happened to me. I eventually realized that my anger and frustration was not serving me. I eventually could stare right into my manager's face with the confidence that I knew where the water was and gave him every chance to drink it. He, in turn, could hardly look me in the face because he could see the confidence in my eyes.

What I gained was his respect (even if he wouldn't admit it) and respect in myself. He drank the water the next time.

I'm using these analogies to help you understand you can't get angry or frustrated when they just won't listen or do what you suggest (drink the water). You have to accept what's happening for now and stay proud, confident and respectful of yourself.

Anger and frustration even when it's not your fault will never make you a happy person. Proud, confident and respectful of yourself will always make you happy.